Begin Again
by SidneySimone
Summary: Nathan Scott and Haley James have called it quits after four years together. Too many obstacles stand in their way of love. But their friends think differently. What happens when those friends convince Nathan and Haley to return to where it all began? Will that original spark be reignited, or will they realize that the flame has burned out? NH, BL & JP
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _One Tree Hill._ It belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.

**Summary: **Nathan Scott and Haley James have finally called it quits. There are just too many obstacles in their way for them to be together. But their friends think differently. What happens when those friends convince Nathan and Haley to return to where it all began? Will that original spark be reignited, or will they realize that the flame already burned out? NH, BL, JP.

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, just a little back story, this story is basically a remake/re-written version of "What Hurts The Most" by me on my old account that I don't remember the login to (Sidney4522). I am remaking this story as I want to execute the idea better. I have changed the title of this story to "You Found Me." The identity of Jamie's father will be released in further chapters. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the remade version. Let me know what you think by reviewing this story! The pairings are: Naley, Brucas and minor Jeyton.

* * *

_ You ever heard the expression 'The best things in life are free.' Well, that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back._

_-Nathan Scott_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**July 10, 2011**

"Please come again," Haley said as flipped the sign on the door and she began cleaning up the café, as the door swung open and the bell sounded.

"Sorry, we're closed," she said dully, not looking up from the tables she was wiping off.

"Wow Hales, I thought we were friends," Lucas smiled, clutching his heart.

"Haha very funny, Luke," Haley said, tossing him a rag, "If you're gonna be here, you've gotta at least pull your own weight."

Lucas began wiping down some of the tables, as he said, "So, Hales, when are you gonna tell Nathan?"

"I don't know Luke," Haley sighed, carrying a tray of dishes to the back with Lucas following her, rag now slung over his shoulder, "I've never had this much on my plate before. I just…."

"Hales," Lucas cut her off, "You have raised an amazing son by yourself. If anyone can handle this, it's you."

"Thanks, Luke," Haley half smiled, now finished with the nightly clean-up, "I made extra chocolate chip cookies today. Payment for your slave labour?"

"You know me too well Haley James," Lucas replied, taking a cookie from the plate that Haley was holding out, "So, I was thinking, there's going to be this basketball camp at the high school for kids Jamie's age. I said I'd help out, and I know he would love it."

"Yeah, I guess…" Haley began, before pausing for a moment, and then pulling the plate away from Lucas just as he was reaching for another cookie, "Lucas Eugene Scott, this doesn't have anything to do with Nathan and his suspension does it?"

"Serves me right for trying to pull one over on the valedictorian," Lucas mumbled, "Look, Hales, I know how you feel about the guy, and I know you're my best friend, but he's my brother. And yeah, he's made mistakes, but haven't we all?"

"Lucas, I don't want my five-year-old son idolizing some lunkhead basketball man who goes around starting fights and getting wasted in his downtime," Haley sighed, "You've already got him loving basketball and the Bobcats, and I think it's great that you guys have that to bond over, but I don't want Jamie around someone who's so unpredictable.."

"Unpredictable, huh? Says the girl who dated him in college."

"Well people can change Luke," Haley said sternly, "Anyway, hows the wedding planning going?"

"I don't know honestly, but what I do know is that it will nothing short of perfect," Lucas said, as he bit into the cookie.

* * *

After the Ravens match and the simultaneous library debacle, Brooke sat on her side of the bed in Lucas' house, brooding, and twirling her engagement ring around and around her finger.

Actually, she wasn't really sure if it was her side of the bed or not. Now that she thought about it, she didn't seem to have a permanent side. She and Lucas would throw themselves, (or each other, she remembered nostalgically), onto whichever side of the bed was there at the time. She wondered if Lucas had a side when he slept alone, or whether he stretched out, snow angel-style, his lanky form sprawled across the whole mattress. For a moment, she wondered sickeningly whether Lucas had slept with Peyton in this bed. Of course, he would have. Had Peyton had a side? She shuddered.

Brooke heard Lucas' car pull up in the driveway. They never seemed to _go_ anywhere together, Brooke mused. Sure, they were together once they got to the destination, but one of them always had something before or after which required them to take separate cars. Lucas, usually. And as much as Brooke tried, she couldn't get the little voice of doubt in her head. _Does Lucas want to keep his independence, _it asked, and _how often does he sneak off to see Peyton in that car?_

Lucas walked in through the bedroom entrance. He looked windswept, spinning a basketball and wearing a small smile. Brooke knew if she approached him she would smell sweat and scruffiness mixed with a little jewel of pride at the Ravens' win. But instead, she stayed where she was, twirling and twirling and twirling the ring.

"I'm only going to ask you this once," she began, not looking at him, looking at the floor instead.

"Seems to be a common occurrence these days," Lucas tried to joke, but immediately became sombre when he saw how high his fiancée's eyebrows rose. He dropped his ball and sat beside Brooke on the bed.

"Did you propose to Peyton?" Brooke asked, and her eyes met Lucas' for the first time.

Lucas was caught off-guard. His eyes widened, and he drew in a sharp breath. Brooke knew the answer to her question before he spoke.

"Brooke you already know the answer to this, and where did this come from?" Lucas asked slowly.

"Peyton said it," Brooke said. "Well, sung it to me, actually," – she shook her head impatiently at Lucas' confused expression - "and she denied it later, so I don't really know what to believe, and I'm _certainly_ not going to trust anything that she says, but if it's true, then that means you didn't tell me that this ring was Peyton's before it was mine, and I'm _really_ not going to have yet another one of Peyton's second-hand throwaways."

She finished breathlessly. She was close to tears for the second time that evening. It suddenly struck her how many things, previously possessed by Peyton, were now in her life. Peyton's friends. Peyton's home town. Peyton's old school. Lucas's book about Peyton. Lucas, in actual fact. And now, apparently, the ring Peyton rejected.

She felt like everything in Lucas' room, from the various photographs of the blonde still dotted on the bookshelves to the deep, comfortable, secret recess of Lucas' bed, were screaming out _Peyton, Peyton, Peyton,_ and it was getting harder and harder to drown out that incessant chant.

"Brooke. Please," Lucas began, but Brooke was too overcome with tears to listen and collapsed into Lucas' arms.

"I _did_ propose," Lucas said, more to justify his actions to himself than to explain to the now-sobbing Brooke. "More than two years ago, you know this Brooke. But she said no. She didn't say yes like you did. The ring was never hers. It was my mom's, and now it's yours. Please. I did propose, but it didn't mean anything to Peyton. And it didn't mean anything to me."

Brooke didn't respond but continued to shake with tears.

"It didn't _mean_ anything," he repeated fruitlessly.

And immediately, unintentionally, irrationally, an image of the sixteen-year-old Peyton, wide-eyed, and idealistic, and achingly beautiful, sprang uninvited into Lucas' mind.

"Of course it did," the teenage Peyton whispered, self-conscious of her confession, yet defiant in her conviction, her green eyes blazing into his own.

And transcending the time that had elapsed, and ignoring the history that had passed, and disregarding the assurances that he had said and repeated to all those around him, Lucas knew that what she spoke was as true six years previously as it was at that precise moment. _Of course, it did._

"It is always gonna be there isn't it, Peyton and you?" Brooke stated, as she got up and walked towards the door.

"Brooke—"

Brooke walked over to Lucas's dresser and pulled the manuscript, and began reading.

"_It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart."_ Brooke drops the manuscript on her lap.

"Brooke... It's just a story... So what, Peyton's car is a comet you know... This is crazy! I love you." Lucas said softly.

"I love you too, Lucas, I do and I always will. But your heart's conflicted and... I think I've always known it. I guess I was hoping someday... I could be your comet. It's an epic love story, Luke. But it's just not ours, and neither is this. It's pretty clear who you love. I just wish you told me sooner. I'm sorry Lucas but I can't marry you," Brooke concluded, teary-eyed. She proceeded to take her engagement ring off and set it on top of the manuscript.

* * *

Haley is woken up by the sound of faint knocking on her door.

"Clay if that's you, just go away. I already told you I'm not interested," She tiredly spoke.

Haley opened the door, she wasn't able to process it at first. She takes a step, before realizing the significance of what she was seeing, and suddenly stops in her tracks.

"Haley," she called out as walk through the door and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Hey Taylor," Haley greeted her older sister. "What are you doing here? It feels like forever since I've last seen you," She questioned.

"Well it's been about six months, and Riley really misses you," Taylor replied.

"True," Haley agreed. "And I miss her too, speaking of where is she?"

"She's back with her dad in Charlotte. It was hard to leave her but I know she's in good hands."

"I can imagine," Haley commented. "And I can see that my little niece and/or nephew is developing quite nicely." As she proceeded to put her hand on Taylor's bump.

"Yeah, the doctor says the baby is doing well. Personally I'm glad the morning sickness is over."

"By the way, the apartment looks so nice. You've done good," Taylor said, as she made her way through Haley's quaint apartment.

"It's alright. I still need to make some changes. The previous owners were supposed to fix some things but they never did. You'd think that after all the money I paid them, they could have made the necessary repairs," Haley stated.

"Well for what it's worth, I think it looks great," Taylor complimented. For a new place, her sister was doing a pretty good job of decorating it.

"So, it's kind of late. Did you just want me to show you the guest room or did you want to look around for a bit?"

"Um, would you mind if I went to bed?" I'm kind of tired," Taylor replied.

"Of course. I'll give you the full tour tomorrow," Haley promised. She then led Taylor to her room. It was kind of small but Taylor wasn't about to complain. She was just grateful for Haley letting her stay, although she didn't have much of a choice if we're being honest. It was a last-minute request on Taylor's part. She just needed to getaway.

"There's a bathroom connected to this room," Haley informed her. "And if you get hungry in the middle of the night, the kitchen is down the hall to the left."

"Haley Bob, I know that all of this is still fresh for you so I'm not going to push you or anything. I just want you to know that if you need to talk, vent, or cry, or whatever, I'm here," Taylor explained as she affectionately squeezed Haley's arm.

"Thanks, Tay," Haley replied. "It really means a lot to me. Well it's getting late and I'll let you rest," Haley continued breaking the silence that followed. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. My room is down the hall."

"I'm fine, but thanks anyway," Taylor nodded and gave Haley one last hug.

"Goodnight," Haley called. She walked over to the bed and snuggled up under the covers. She closed her eyes for a while but sleep did not come. Something—or someone—rather, was missing. Haley quickly pushed that thought out of her head. _Don't think about him, Haley. You've come this far without crying. Don't fall apart now. _She turned over on her side and faced the small window. The stars shone brightly in the sky. It amazed her how there could be a rainstorm one second and then clear skies the next in this place. But this place was different. Haley was happy for the change.

She shifted in her bed again and tried to get comfortable. However, it was no use. She had too much on her mind to simply just silence her thoughts and sleep. So she did the next best thing and started to sing one of her favourite songs. Singing had always been her release when she was upset. But since her sister was only a few rooms away, she decided to just softly hum the melody. After a while, it started to work. Haley felt her eyelids grow heavy and a wave of drowsiness suddenly hit her. Very slowly, she stopped humming and was quiet. Her body was instantly grateful for the rest but Haley's mind was in shambles. As a result, she tossed and turned the remainder of the night.

* * *

"Hey there, sleepy head," Taylor greeted the next morning. "You ready for some lunch?"

"Lunch?" Haley questioned groggily as she entered the kitchen. She had literally rolled out of bed five minutes prior.

"Yeah, it's one o'clock," Taylor said while pointing to the clock.

"Really?" Haley asked surprised. Taylor nodded in confirmation. "Wow, that's a first."

"I know. Who knew that Haley James could be a late sleeper? I was so surprised I went to check on you. I got scared that you might have died or something," she teased.

"I don't usually sleep past eight. That's something that Na…" Haley trailed off as she realized what she was about to say. Taylor gave her a concerned look.

"Never mind," Haley dismissed. She wanted breakfast food despite how late it was.

"Everything pretty much goes to my belly and my thighs now. Do you know that I already gained fifteen pounds? I swear I'm going to look like the Goodyear Blimp by the time this pregnancy is over. Whoever said the second pregnancy was easier lied, it's worse than the first."

"It's only natural," Haley stated as she ate another bite of her eggs.

"My ankles are swollen, my breasts are sore, and I'm fat. It's more like torture."

"But just think, you'll have a beautiful baby in four months to make up for all of that," Haley pointed out.

"I guess," Taylor mumbled. Haley rolled her eyes amused. She could already see the hormonal changes affecting her sister. She was never this mopey before.

Haley really needed some time alone to take in everything that had happened within the last 24 hours. She had even shut her cell phone off. Haley was sure that all of her friends would be calling trying to find out where she was right now. She walked over and took a seat on the swinging chair on the balcony. As she sat there and observed the cute little neighbourhood, Haley absentmindedly played with the finger on her left hand. It was a habit she had involuntarily developed over the last year. It was also something she was sure would be hard to break out of in the future.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Taylor questioned while coming outside to join her.

"I thought that you were eating," Haley said.

"How can I eat when I can hear my little sister's lost thoughts through the wall?"

"They're not lost. They're…confused and…"

"Depressed?" Taylor filled in.

"Heartbreaking," Haley corrected looking down at her feet as she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Maybe if you talk about it, it'll help," Taylor suggested.

"What's there to say? I keep thinking about him. No matter how hard I try, everything leads back to him. I miss him. And the worst part is that he's the whole reason I feel like this and I'm here right now. Does that make any sense?" Haley asked.

"I'd say yes," Taylor answered. "Love can make you do crazy things."

"I won't argue with you there," she muttered. Haley hadn't been thinking straight ever since that fateful day last May.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" Taylor proposed. "It could help to get it all off your chest."

"There's too much to tell. Believe me," Haley stated.

"So? I'm pregnant, Haley Bop. All I've got is spare time." _Should I tell her everything? I mean, she is my sister and I do love and trust her. But will my rehashing it really make me feel better in the end?_

"Come on, little sis," Taylor urged. "Don't back out on me now."

"I'd have to start from the beginning," Haley indicated a moment later.

"Well, I'd prefer that you did," she encouraged. Haley sighed. It was no use. Everyone would probably learn the whole story, anyway. It would be better if her sister heard the truth from her. There was no hiding it and there was no going back.

"Ok, it all started when…"

* * *

**Review. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. If you guys liked it, I will be happy to continue this journey with all of you! Clarification on the whole Brooke/Lucas drama will be in the majority of the next chapter as I want to make their intentions clear in the next chapter. So, if Brucas is not your thing, then I'm sorry _feel_**_** free to come back in chapter three.**_

_**-Sidney**_


	2. Chapter 2

_"And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be... or lose that person completely."_

_\- Brooke Davis_

* * *

**A/N:**_ Hello everyone, I just wanted to let y'all know that the story will take place in the past just to give some context on Haley and Clay's relationship, as well as the start of Peyton and Jake and Brooke and Lucas. I hope these chapters will clear up any confusion you may have. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews last chapter! Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**May 5, 2006**

_This dress is so uncomfortable. What about these heels? Do these heels go with this dress? Are they too small? Do they make me look too tall? Clay hates it when I wear heels…_

_Is this red lipstick too provocative? We're just going to dinner. And it's blood red. Does it even go with this dress? I know it's black and silver, gold, and bronze tie-dye…but sometimes it looks like too much. Is it not good enough for a formal dinner? I want to look like I belong on Clay's arm when he gets that prestigious award or whatever it was that he won. Maybe if I was more like…_

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Don't do it, Haley, …this is what he talked about. Just take deep breaths._

She willed herself to open her eyes and look at her own reflection. She hoped she looked pretty enough. She began to put the diamond studs into her ears, wincing as she slid the metal through her pierced ears. The last time she had worn earrings was probably two years ago, at her high school graduation.

Another figure stepped into the mirror's reflection. Before she could even react, Clay put his arms around her. "Are you almost ready, Hales?" he asked.

Haley nodded, smiling. "Yes. I'm so happy for you," she said to Clay. She turned to face him. Tenderly, she put her arms around his shoulders. "I love you so much," Haley purred.

Clay smiled and met her with a kiss on the lips. He looked as though he was contemplating something. Haley obviously caught onto this.

"What is it, Clay?" she asked nervously.

"I wanted to wait until tonight to ask you this, but what the hell?"

In a single moment, before Haley could even register what was going on, Clay was on one knee, with a red velvet box in his hand. "Will you marry me?"

Haley was absolutely speechless. She just nodded, not able to form the words she wanted to say.

* * *

Haley couldn't help but stare at the huge rock on her finger. It must have cost a fortune. It was at the very least 4 carats, and with the white gold setting, Haley estimated it must have cost at least $17K. He must have been saving for it for a long time. Then again, Clay would probably hardly bat an eye over that much money; it was change that he found in the couch cushions. His father had retired and Clay was the CEO of a global communications company.

"Does it not fit?" Clay asked nervously.

Haley snapped out of her trance. "What?" She realized his question and shook her head urgently. "No. No, not at all. It's perfect. You remembered I'm a size 5." She looked down at it dreamily again. "It's perfect," she muttered.

Clay smiled. "Come on. I need to show off my _fiancée_."

Haley smiled as they walked through the door, arm in arm. Haley suddenly felt underdressed. All around her were women, all dressed to the nines in pearls and diamonds, their hair pulled back tightly in updos. They had on floor-length silk and satin dresses; some even had matching gloves and diamond tennis bracelets.

"You didn't tell me it would be _this _fancy," she said to Clay through gritted teeth.

"Maybe I was hoping that you would decide not to wear heels if I told you it wasn't so fancy," Clay responded.

Haley used every fibre of her being to not roll her eyes at this. He was so bitter about her being nearly his height in high heels. She found it a little sad and made a mental note to strut around in heels whenever she was mad at him.

Haley peered down at her engagement ring and smiled. In the end, Clay was one of the best guys that she had ever been with. He was good to her, and he was sure of who he was. They were alike, and Haley needed someone who was like her.

Clay led Haley over to the table which they were assigned to. She saw a handful of other people sitting at the table with them. Haley was unsure of what this dinner was actually about but hoped that it wasn't completely boring.

"Why are we here again?" she asked.

"It's a dinner for the benefactors of the museum," Clay explained.

Haley rolled her eyes. "How much did you invest to make sure that you won out?" she asked nervously.

"Half a million."

Haley's jaw nearly dropped, but she then recalled that this still probably wasn't a lot of money for him.

She looked around the table. There was an empty spot next to her. Alongside that spot was a brunette with tan skin and a beautiful sapphire blue dress. Haley thought she was stunning. Next to her were two couples.

Haley smiled at the girl, who gave an apprehensive smile back. Then, a man came over. He looked no shorter than six feet tall. Haley thought his features were striking. _He's so…no! Haley! Clay. Look at Clay. _She turned her head. But she couldn't help but look back at the man who sat down next to her.

He truly was beautiful. He had thick, light brown hair and light blue eyes. He just had this sweet, gentle face which made Haley intrigued to know him.

He sat down next to the girl in the sapphire dress. He said, "Sorry, Rachel. I have no way to get out early."

She laughed. "Really, Nathan, it's fine. I have no problem being your date," she whispered to Nathan.

_Haley! Snap out of it! You just got engaged to your boyfriend of three years!_

_But he's just so cute…_

_No! Isn't that his girlfriend right there? Probably! And don't you dare ask! That would be awfully nosy, Haley!_

She shook her inner thoughts out of her head.

The servers came out with the salad. Rachel took a bite.

"Can you please pass the oil?" she asked Haley. Haley gave it to her and stared at her in confusion. The odd feeling as if she knew this girl was lingering in her mind.

"Thank you," she replied.

The four people sat in silence. Clay's phone rang. Haley rolled her eyes as he proceeded to get up and answer it.

Haley sighed, no longer sure of what to do with herself. "I'm sure it's something with work," she commented.

Rachel smiled uncomfortably. Nathan's smile was much more sincere.

"I know what that's like. I'm Nathan," he greeted her.

Haley smiled. "I'm Haley. Haley James."

"I'm Rachel," Rachel added in uncomfortably. Haley couldn't determine whether or not this was out of shyness or bitchiness, but she was kind of hoping it was the latter; she wanted something to bitch about.

"Excuse me," Haley said hastily, exiting the room with her bag.

* * *

Nathan looked over at Rachel as soon as Haley left.

"What's wrong with you? Could you have been any ruder?" he questioned.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I thought I was your girlfriend for the night. As your girlfriend, I would be overprotective. I'm sorry that I'm a method actress."

Nathan got up and followed where Haley was going. She was on the balcony of the building which the event was being held at. He found her standing there and all he could see was the glowing amber tip of the object in her hand. From the light, including the light in the city below them, she could barely make out her face. Still, he was able to see the contours, and he could still see her glowing brown eyes.

On a whim, he knocked the cigarette out of her hand. It dropped on the ground was immediately put out.

"What the hell?" she asked.

"I just saved you from lung cancer," Nathan insisted.

Haley rolled her eyes. "I think you're over-exaggerating."

Nathan scoffed. "Really? Did you know that it can take up to twenty years for the effects of smoking to go away?"

She was impressed that he knew his facts. He continued.

"Besides, a friend wouldn't let another friend do something stupid."

Haley raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow in curiosity. "I wasn't aware that we were friends," she commented.

"Didn't you ever hear the saying, 'Strangers are friends we haven't met yet'?" he asked.

Haley smiled. "I think the quote is actually 'There are no strangers here; only friends you haven't yet met'. William Butler Yeats. Irish poet and 20th-century literary figure," she added.

"I stand corrected," he smiled.

She laughed. She looked off the balcony. She looked at the bright lights below her. She let out a single laugh. "It's funny. I've never met anyone who is as much of a nerd as me," she commented.

"I'm not really a nerd, but I have read the entire collection of American classics," Nathan said, looking down at his feet. He looked back up at Haley. "My favourite is Catcher in the Rye."

Haley nodded. "For some reason, you strike me as the type to look up to Holden Caulfield. I'm sure that your room is plastered in Metallica and Radiohead posters," she joked.

"It's _The Rolling Stones _and Radiohead. I'm a sucker for the Stones, and Creep is one of my favourite songs," he informed her.

"Ooh, now I stand corrected," she joked. She looked him over once in the dim light. "Maybe we could hang out sometime. You know, when I'm not wearing these ridiculous heels or this obnoxious dress," she said.

"I think your dress _and your heels _are very nice," he insisted.

She smiled. Maybe this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

"Go on about this boy. Hales, I want all the dirty details!" Brooke squealed.

Haley looked at the shirt which she was holding over her torso before responding. "Nothing happened, Brooke! I am an engaged woman now," she insisted.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Engaged, my ass. You probably want to have hot, dirty sex with Nathan as we speak. And don't even try to deny it, because you have that blush on your face!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Brooke!"

Brooke sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. But I bet this Nathan is really hot. I mean, Clay is easy on the eyes, too, so Nathan must be sizzling," she gushed.

"I wouldn't know. But he's sweet. And he's clever. And he's studious like me."

"I just got bored."

Haley sighed. "Fine. He's got these amazing blue eyes—"

"Really?" Brooke interrupted.

"Yes, And he has light brown hair and he is no shorter than six feet tall," she said dreamily.

"Haley Bob James! You just went to your happy place. And I will bet anything that in your happy place, you get to make sweet, hot love to Nathan. All. Day. Long," Brooke taunted.

Haley swatted at Brooke. "Stop it! Like I said, I am making a commitment to Clay because I love him. So I do not need you in your red Chloe heels to be like the devil on my shoulder."

Brooke laughed.

Haley rolled her eyes and continued. "Besides, I think he has a girlfriend," she informed Brooke.

Brooke's face fell. "Aww…no cute Naley babies."

"You've never even seen him."

"But come on? Haley and Nathan? I ship that." Brooke looked at her pink nails and turned back to Haley. "So tell me about this girlfriend so I can rip on her."

Haley shrugged. "Well, the girl he was with yesterday was really exotic looking. She had really dark hair, really tan skin, and dark brown eyes. And she is really pretty. And she was wearing this dress you would love. It was literally the same colour as your necklace. Gorgeous," she said, pointing towards Brooke's genuine sapphire necklace.

Brooke put her hand on her neck to touch the necklace. Then, she put one hand on Haley's shoulder. "I bet she looks like a horse kicked her in the face, Hales."

Haley laughed at Brooke's loyalty. Brooke looked at her charm bracelet watch. She frowned at the time.

"Gotta run, Hales. I'm meeting my friend for coffee," she informed her. Brooke gave Haley a hug and amicable kiss on the cheek before walking to the door to leave.

"Wait! Can I come with you? I've been so exhausted. I've been planning my own wedding to save money, and I—"

Brooke held up her hand, interrupting. "You're planning to save money? You're marrying one of the richest men in the United States." Brooke's expression turned sad. "Wait—you're abandoning my idea of having a wedding at a venue with an indoor lake, where you can get swans and light floating tea candles?" she asked sadly.

Haley groaned.

"You can come if you let me pick out my own bridesmaids dress," Brooke said.

"Wow. Am I really about to trade something which will stay in my life forever for a cup of coffee?" Haley asked herself.

"Yes."

Haley groaned but allowed Brooke to drag her out of the apartment.

* * *

"Haley. You look hot tonight. And Clay's not coming. Why do you look so hot tonight?" Peyton asked as Brooke and Haley arrived at her apartment.

Brooke laughed as Haley squirmed. "She's got a wittle crush on _Nathan_," Brooke taunted as she sing-songed Nathan's name.

Haley rolled her eyes, but couldn't contain her blush.

The Pixie picked up on Haley's suddenly flushed cheeks. "Haley James! Don't tell me you have a _crush_," Peyton said.

Haley winced at Peyton's use of the word "crush"; it implied such a juvenile infatuation. It also made Haley feel like a cheater.

_But…isn't that kind of what I'm doing? I like Nathan, and not in a friendly way. In a romantic way. Ugh, Haley, you're such a terrible person! Less than a week after getting engaged, you're already mentally-cheating on your fiancé! Get it together! _Haley mentally scolded herself.

"Where are we going?" asked Peyton, breaking Haley out of her thoughts.

Brooke thought for a moment. "Tric? I think that's what it's called. Rachel said it's really nice. And she said that Nathan invited two of his friends to come with us. I forget what their names are," Brooke answered.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Peyton nodded. Haley could only hear the soft hum of her refrigerator, and it was starting to bother her.

"Where is it?"

"Whoa, Tutorgirl. I know you need to be fashionably early to like everything, but you need to chill. It's like fifteen minutes away from here," Brooke insisted.

Haley rolled her eyes and sighed. "That's not why I'm flipping out," she blurted out.

"We know. It's because you can't wait to see your paramour. But please contain your excitement. We will get there soon enough," Brooke teased.

Haley picked up a box of tissues and threw them at Brooke, who swatted the box away.

"P. Sawyer, we better go. Someone is really anxious to see her _lover._"

Peyton laughed as Haley glared at them both.

"Come on," she grumbled.

* * *

"You're not going to tell us more about this girl that you met?" a shaggy brown haired man asked Nathan.

Nathan shrugged. "There's nothing to tell. She's engaged. But she's nice."

The person behind him scoffed. "Come on, Nathan. Jake is right. You're infatuated with this girl, and the only thing that's keeping you from pursuing her is the fact that she's engaged and you're too nice."

"Isn't that two reasons, Luke?" Nathan asked.

"You know what I mean," Lucas said, glaring. "You're into this girl."

Nathan parked the car. "We're here," he announced, ignoring Lucas's statement.

They all walked into the club, seeking out Haley, Brooke, and Peyton. Rachel finally spotted them at the bar. Rachel gave Haley and Brooke a hug, and then greeted Peyton. The guys all introduced themselves. Brooke immediately locked eyes with Lucas.

"Can I call you Broody?" she inquired.

Lucas gave her a skeptical look. "Broody?"

Brooke nodded. "Yeah, you just give off that Broody vibe," she commented. Rachel kicked her in the leg. "Ow! Rachel!" she exclaimed.

But Lucas only laughed. "Sure. Broody can be your nickname for me," he said.

Brooke smiled. "Okay, so Broody is my nickname; no one else can call him that!" she announced loudly. She turned to the bartender. "Can you get us all a round of tequila as per my new friendship here?" she asked, grinning at Lucas. "My new _friendships_ here?" she corrected when Jake looked insulted.

The shots of tequila were soon delivered and distributed. Brooke raised her glass. "A toast to new friendships," Brooke proposed.

The shots of tequila were downed, and soon, Brooke and Peyton dragged Jake and Lucas onto the dance floor. Rachel, Haley, and Nathan hung back near the bar. Haley and Rachel had Cosmos while Nathan had water.

"Who orders water at a bar? Nate, you need to learn to live a little," Rachel insisted.

Nathan shrugged. "I thought I was going to be the designated driver. And seeing as how no one else is going the sober route, it looks like I'll have to make two trips to get you all home."

Haley liked how he was being responsible. "Maybe I should stop drinking. We'll probably be here for like another two or three hours…that's enough to sober up from one shot of tequila," Haley thought aloud. "And I'd feel guilty making you drive everybody home," she said to Nathan.

"It's fine, Haley. I'm used to being the designated driver," Nathan insisted.

Haley had already abandoned her Cosmo and gotten a glass of water. She smiled at Nathan. "It's good for me, anyway," she claimed.

* * *

On the dance floor, Brooke was forcing Lucas to dance. "Oh, come on, Broody! Your friend Sandy over there is dancing!" she exclaimed.

Sure enough, Peyton had gotten Jake to dance with her.

Lucas turned back to Brooke. "You're really good with coming up with nicknames, aren't you?" he asked.

Brooke nodded eagerly. "It's like a God-given talent. Right after picking out clothes and calling who goes home on the Bachelorette."

He groaned.

"Oh, come on, Broody." It was clear Lucas was not budging. "Can I at least buy you a drink? We can talk," she offered.

He looked at her. Then he looked at the club atmosphere around him. "Don't you think it's kind of loud for talking?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Not here, Broody. There's this place next door…" she looked at him for a moment. "Oh, let's just go."

Dragging him by the wrist, she led him out of the crowd and out the door.

* * *

"Yogurt? Really?" Lucas asked as he looked at the place in front of him, with the topping bar and self-serve machines.

"Chocolate frozen yogurt is my weakness, and I need something to wet my throat besides tequila," she admitted.

Lucas laughed and followed her. She got chocolate with a bunch of healthy looking things. And cookies. And marshmallows. Lots and lots of marshmallows. Lucas got vanilla with sprinkles. Brooke looked at his unadorned sundae. "You can't be serious. You have all of these flavours and you choose _vanilla? _With _only sprinkles?_" she asked incredulously.

He shrugged. "I'm a simple guy."

She frowned. "I'm _not _a simple girl…" she gave him a flirtatious smile. "But I _do _like a challenge."

As Brooke walked away, Lucas's eyes wandered down to the floor. He hadn't previously noticed how long her legs looked, and…

_Stop it,_ _Lucas! Just look away…_

_But she's so hot…and she seems really nice…_

Lucas shook his head and followed Brooke to the table, where she teasingly crossed her legs and uncrossed them. Lucas discreetly gulped. Brooke smiled in victory. She turned to her frozen yogurt. She licked the spoon provocatively, making Lucas gulp again. She finally decided to stop. But for some reason…she couldn't.

"I am so drunk right now," Brooke finally admitted.

Lucas sighed in relief. She probably wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

"But I'm not too drunk," she informed him.

_Crap._

"Do you want to try it? See what you're missing?" she asked. He nodded. Lucas leaned in close to him with a spoonful of her yogurt. About two or three inches away from his lips, she put it in her own mouth. "Too bad. You had that golden opportunity to do whatever the hell you wanted, but you chose _vanilla with sprinkles,_" she said with disgust.

Lucas hung his head in shame, not realizing the alcohol was about to speak for him. "I just wanted to taste your lips."

She froze, not knowing what to say. Lucas didn't even realize what he just said.

She sighed. "Why didn't you just say so, Broody?" she asked.

Lucas looked at her in confusion before she pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed her back.

* * *

"Peyton! How many times have I told you not to drink the worm?" Haley inquired as she held back Peyton's hair as she threw up.

"I'm sorry, Hales. But after a few shots, I forget about the worm," Peyton said before retching again. Haley groaned.

"I take this as a clear sign that it's time to go," Haley muttered to herself.

The door opened to the bathroom.

"Haley? Peyton? Are you in here?" Rachel's voice called out.

"Yeah, we're in here, Rachel," Haley said as Peyton vomited again.

Rachel walked over to the stall they were in and winced. "What happened?"

"The worm," Haley and Peyton explained in unison.

Rachel groaned. "Oh, Sweetie…" she watched as Peyton gagged again.

When Peyton was done vomiting for what seemed like forever, Haley said, "We should probably go now."

Rachel nodded in agreement. Peyton shakily stood up, barely balancing on her heels. Rachel and Haley led her out of the bathroom. They looked around and spotted Jake and Nathan at the bar. They walked over.

"Where's Brooke and Lucas?" Haley asked, looking around, but not spotting the svelte, little blonde's head.

Nathan shrugged, as did Jake. Peyton piped up. "I saw them like an hour ago. They were dancing and then they just disappeared," she explained.

"Where could they have gone?" Haley asked.

"I'll call Brooke. Let's see if she answers," Rachel said as she took out her phone.

* * *

Brooke and Lucas had relocated themselves to a remote corner of the alley between the club and the yogurt place. Brooke pressed her lips forcibly on his lips, while he returned her deep kisses. Brooke finally heard her phone ringing and pulled away.

"Sorry," she apologized. She looked at the phone and saw it was Rachel. She answered the call. "Hello?"

"Brooke! Where are you?" Rachel inquired immediately.

"Relax, Rach. Lucas and I are just outside the club in that alley," she informed her. Within a matter of minutes, the rest of the gang was there.

Those of them sober enough to assess the situation (i.e, not Peyton) was taken aback in shock. Lucas turned pink. Brooke acted as though nothing was wrong.

"We should probably go. The tiny one is already wasted," Haley commented. Peyton groaned in response.

Brooke nodded. By now, she was probably sober enough to drive, but knowing Brooke's road rage, there was no way Haley was taking a risk like that. "Are you okay, Peyt?" she asked. Peyton glared at her and pressed her palm to her throbbing head.

"We should go," Haley urged.

Jake, Rachel, Nathan, Haley, and an inebriated Peyton all headed off. Brooke dragged Lucas back. "One more kiss? Please?" she asked sweetly.

He pecked her on the lips and Brooke smiled, dragging him back up to speed with the group.

"Okay, honey, I'm going to lift you up. Once I put you down, you have to let go. I know you like to cling, but make sure you let go, okay?" Haley said slowly to Peyton. Peyton has cradled in Haley's arms. Her eyes were closed and she looked like a tiny, sleeping angel.

"Promise me something, Hales?" she asked as Haley placed her in the back seat.

"What is it?" Haley inquired.

"Can I be a bridesmaid at your wedding? I want to wear the ugliest, puffiest dress ever and throw petals right before you go and kiss him…" Peyton informed Haley.

Haley laughed. "Of course you can. But Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you let go of my hair?"

"But it's so soft and pretty and shiny…."

"Peyton."

Obediently, Peyton let go of Haley's hair. As Haley climbed in the front seat right next to Brooke—who was already texting Lucas—Peyton stirred.

"Haley and Nathan will have the cutest little babies ever…one of them are going to be named James Lucas Scott. And the other one is going to be named…Lydia." Peyton giggled as if she was hearing the silliness of what she was saying.

Brooke snickered next to Haley. "Are you going to tell the daddy about James and Lydia?" she teased.

Haley rolled her eyes. Secretly, though, she thought it was funny.

* * *

Haley tried to sneak into the house as quietly as she could. Yet again, she failed. The lights came on in the house. _Damn! Does he have bats' ears or something?_

She slowly looked up at him. She was drenched. Somehow, on her way home, she managed to get caught in a monsoon. She looked like a drowned, harassed rat. And clearly, she was being greeted now not by a cheery, loving fiancé, but by a nervous, jealous, and overbearing one. Yes, Honey, Clay was mighty jealous. This would mean no end in sight for Haley, and she wasn't even fully aware of what she had done wrong.

Well, she was. She had missed their date, and for no good reason, either. She'd be mad at herself, too.

Haley looked sadly at Clay. "I'm sorry, Clay. I just lost track of time, and I—"

Clay shook his head. "It's fine, Hales," he insisted.

She stared at him for a moment. She shook her head. "No, it's not fine. I missed our date. I'll make it up to you, somehow," she promised.

And boy, did she feel she had a lot to make up for. She felt though she was emotionally cheating on Clay with a person she had known for about a month.

"I'll be ready in about half an hour if you still want to go out," Haley called.

The door clicked closed eerily to their bedroom. Haley dreaded this. She already feared that this was how it would be; this much distance would be omnipresent in their household. It was. Was a piece of paper really going to change all of that?

Haley plopped down on her bed with a sigh. She looked at her desk and saw a to-go coffee cup and brown paper napkins. She sighed, picking them both up. She tossed the cup. She stared at the napkins. As silly and cliché as it was, she thought of Nathan. For some reason, she just placed them back down and continued to shuffle through the closet.

* * *

Haley waited in slight fear for Clay to stop pacing the floor. She looked down at her diamond engagement ring. _It's just so pretty…_

"This is exactly why I wanted to have dinner with you tonight, Hales. You've just been so distant lately," Clay said finally.

Haley shrugged. "I know, but it doesn't help when you're always out at another meeting. And when you're here…you're not here," she said softly.

"I'm trying my best!" he exclaimed. Haley jumped. He sighed and sat down next to her. "What are we going to do?" he asked.

Haley turned to him and took his hand. "I love you, Clay. Just because I'm getting new friends…it doesn't mean that I love you any less than I did before. I'm still marrying you." She looked at him, expecting something. "We are still getting married right?"

Her heart stopped for a tiny moment. "Of course we are," he said.

She kissed him once, but she didn't feel much. "So are you still up for dinner?" she asked hopefully.

Clay sighed. "I think maybe we both just need time to ourselves. Maybe you can invite Brooke over. I'm going out with my friends."

Clay left the house. The sharp tone in his voice still rang in Haley's ears even after she left. She wasn't sure whether it was her vulnerable state, or just because she was in no mood for hearing Brooke criticize her choice in men, she called someone new.

"Hey, Rachel. This is Haley. I know we really haven't gotten a chance to really talk, but I'd really like to know you," Haley said, already feeling as though she sounded stupid. "Maybe if you're not doing anything, we could meet up tonight."

Haley hung up the phone and tossed it aside, falling back onto the large couch. She looked up at the ceiling. _Is this how it's going to be for the rest of our lives?_

* * *

Peyton woke up to the aroma of coffee filling the unfamiliar room. She could barely remember what happened the previous night. She was lying in an unfamiliar bed, but the white satin sheets felt lovely on her bare skin.

_Where the hell am I? And why am I naked under these sheets? Oh, god, Peyton! Did you do what I think you did?_

Peyton looked around the room for obvious signs that the solicited sex for money, or the other way around. _Nope, nothing. Thank goodness._

Peyton touched the sheets, which felt seductive in themselves, when a figure stood at the doorway. She looked up at the person. The face was familiar, but for some reason, she couldn't peg a name on him.

"Morning, Sunshine," he said to her.

She looked around again, and then to his hauntingly beautiful, shirtless torso. "What happened last night?" she inquired.

"You don't remember?" he questioned. Peyton shook her head. "You spent the night…and we…" he trailed off, implying what Peyton thought had happened.

Peyton shook her head. "You'd think I'd remember that…"

"I saw you struggling to open your apartment door last night, so I invited you into my apartment. I wasn't as drunk as you, but we were both pretty wasted. Then again, I didn't drink a worm," he teased.

Peyton shook her head. "I always do that. Man, Haley is always right." Peyton sighed to herself. She looked at him again. "Who are you?"

"You really don't remember anything. I have never met anyone who has gotten that drunk."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "I binge drink from time to time. You're only young once, Grandpa," she teased.

"I'm pretty sure that you said the 'you're only young once' part about seven times last night. The 'Grandpa' bit? I didn't hear any complaints last night," he informed her.

"You still didn't answer my question. Who are you?"

"Jake. I'm Nathan's friend," Jake said, trying to jog her memory.

"Oh!" Peyton shouted. "I remember now. You're the guy with Ryan Gosling's hair and a model's face!" Peyton exclaimed.

Jake squinted his eyes at her. "I don't know if that's a compliment or not."

Peyton gasped. "Have you never seen _The Notebook_? That's like the best compliment a guy can ever get from a girl," she informed him.

Jake flashed his pearly whites in a smile. "Then, thank you."

"But really. What did we actually do last night?" Peyto asked bluntly.

Jake thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure we were both too drunk to realize what we're doing because I don't remember any of it. All I know is that I woke up, naked, cuddling with you, who, in case you haven't noticed, is also naked," Jake said.

Peyton looked down at herself. "I promise I don't have any STDs, but…oh, god…" she trailed off. Jake looked kind of worried.

Jake took a seat next to Peyton. "What happened?"

"I'm ovulating…and if we didn't use a condom, then…"

_Holy crap._

Peyton smiled at a bright new thought. "Wait a second. Just because we had sex while I was ovulating doesn't mean that I'm pregnant, right?" she asked optimistically.

"No?" Jake asked, not knowing a thing about the female reproductive system.

Peyton scowled. "Which means I have to wait until I'm supposed to get my period. Crap."

Jake was just as confused as Peyton was upon waking up. "In the meantime, do you want coffee?"

Peyton smiled at the thought. "Sure thing." She began to get up, only then remembering that she was naked. "But let me put some clothes on, first. Don't look!" she scolded.

"Come on, Peyton. It's not like it's anything that I haven't seen before," Jake reminded her.

"We were both too drunk to understand that we were naked. So either leave or turn around!"

Jake sighed and rolled his eyes, turning around. When he glanced over his shoulder, he was met with an aggressive "No peeking!" from Peyton.

Jake sighed and turned around.

"I so don't get this. We are not the ones who were supposed to go home together. It was supposed to be Haley and Nathan. Screw Haley's abusive, annoying, conniving bastard of a fiancé. She belongs to Nathan. Or at the very least, she belongs with me…" Peyton pouted.

Jake turned around, completely abandoning Peyton's "no peeking" rule, which, to his dissatisfaction, didn't matter since she was already dressed. "What do you mean, 'abusive'?" he inquired with piqued interest.

Peyton kicked herself in the face. "Okay, if I tell you, you can't tell anyone, Jake," she warned. He was waiting for an explanation, and she finally succumbed to him. "The other week, I met with Haley for coffee. I didn't question it, but she had a support on her hand, like the kind you would wear after hurting your wrist playing basketball or something. And she had this weird purplish bruise right here," she explained, touching the area around her ear, on the side of her face. "And the week before, she had marks on her arm. She's being abused," she insisted.

Jake bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. "You haven't confronted her about it?" he asked.

Peyton shook her head in shame. "I don't know how to. If I say anything, she's going to get really touchy and cagey about it; I know Haley. What do I do?"

Wasn't that the golden question.

* * *

_Thank you all for the reviews the last chapter. I liked to read what you guys enjoyed and didn't enjoy. I hope you guys liked this chapter_ _and enjoyed the insight of Clay and Haley's relationship.__ Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Any sort of feedback is welcome!_

_**dianehermans:**__ Aww, Thank you so much! I hope you liked this chapter._

_**KaylaRamirez16:** Thank you! I will try my best to update as soon as possible, and I hope this chapter shed some light on Clay and Haley's relationship, as well as Nathan and Rachel. I tried my best not to make her a total bitch in this story and chapter so that she is more bearable but we'll see. I am glad you're enjoying the story though! _

_**sandygirl: **__Thank you :) Don't worry Owen was just used in that one chapter for insight and context. He was simply there to make Lucas jealous, nothing more. In regard to Haley and Nathan's relationship, she will eventually give him a chance I promise, it is just going to take a while as I want to shed some light on their past, and Haley's relationship with Clay as it would be more realistic. Nevertheless, Nathan and Haley will be together again. It just might take a while this time! _

_**thibbs65:** Thank you! Don't worry, as I explained to sandygirl, Owen was just used in that one chapter to make Lucas jealous essentially, he's not going to be a part of this story at all in a recurring capacity, just there to provide context that's all, as for Naley there relationship will be a slow gradual one into romance. This chapter and future ones will hopefully do a good job at providing insight into their friendship before their relationship re-builds again, as I don't want them to just jump into a relationship as it is not idealistic. Hopefully, you understand, but I promise when Naley's relationship starts up again it will be worth the wait!_

_**Guest: **Thank you so much! That is very sweet honestly. I am at a loss of words truly. I like that this story does not have many favs/follows because it's more of a hidden gem in the OTH Fanfiction world, and can be our little secret. I appreciate the kind words though, you really made my day, so thank you once again! As for my favourite ships they are Naley, Brucas, Leyton, Jeyton and Bruilan, all merely serving a specific purpose for myriad reasons. As for my favourite episodes they are 1x06, 1x08, 1x17, 1x18, 2x05, 2x08, 3x06 or 7, 3x09, 3x13, 3x14, 3x16, 3x18, 3x21, 3x22, 4x09, 4x13, 4x17, 4x21 etc... those are just some of my favourites. _

**_ConfusedMoonie:_**_ I appreciate the feedback, and understand the confusion. If it helps I have gone back and added timestamps in the chapters to make it easier to follow. I understand jumping from one storyline to the next can be confusing especially given the context (i.e Brooke & Lucas's very complicated relationship). I will try my hardest to make their relationship and the story easier to follow and less distracting. I initially did not add timestamps because I felt it would be more confusing to the reviewers/readers but I guess it helps so I will continue to do so. Nevertheless, I hope you stick around and continue to watch this wild rollercoaster unfold! I hope that cleared up any confusion! Once again I do apologize. _

**_treehilllover: _**_Thank you! She will don't you worry. As much as I enjoy their friendship, it might a while before the two make up and be friends again. Brooke will always have a hard time trusting Lucas and Peyton, especially since she's back in Tree Hill. __I am studying to become a nurse (i know cliché) and I am going to be turning twenty-two this year so that is eventful lol! That is very sweet but for right now I'll take what I can get. _

_My least favourite seasons of OTH have to be season 2, 5, 7 and 8 with the exception of a few episodes here and there. I just found those seasons to be very lacklustre and didn't really serve any specific purpose, most episodes seemed like fillers to me (season 8 especially) and the magic and spark of OTH seemed to be missing from those seasons idk why. Plus depressing Nathan for me personally is difficult to watch. __As for my favourites its definitely season 1, 3, 4, 6 and 9. Those seasons were wholesome and sweet and season 9 gave me season 4 chills when it came to psycho Derek. I got to hand it to Bethany though, her acting in that season (9) was stellar. It was like you can feel the vulnerability and rawness in her emotions it felt so surreal. As the seasons progressed so did the characters' we saw a lot of growth from many of the characters and that was great to see. As much as I am not a fan of Dan Scott I gotta give it to him, he redeemed himself and grow into the man we all knew he could be. His character growth was phenomenal. I just wish we saw more of this side of him, but nevertheless, I loved his villainess on the show. He was superb. Those five seasons were stellar solid gold. I got into OTH when I was 16, my cousins used to watch and in a way introduced me to the show, so I binge-watched and fell in love with the show and here we are! _

_**Guest: **Thank you! Lucas and Brooke will be fine. I promise that they will have a serious talk in about six or seven chapters and decide on whether to proceed with their wedding or not, but for right now we can enjoy past Brucas and their blossoming relationship. Yes, Peyton and Jake will make more appearances in this story, not as frequently though, as this is more of a Naley and Brucas centric story but they will definitely be there, as for their wedding I am not sure. Is that something you guys want to see? There will be tons of juicy drama to go down there, after all, it is a Tree Hill wedding. Naley won't be a couple for a while not until chapter thirteen or fourteen. Until then like I said with Brucas we can enjoy the blossoming friendship/romantic banter between Naley for the meantime. _

* * *

_Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thank you all for the love and support and the kind words you guys send me. They never go unappreciated. Writing is one of my passions and favourite hobbies and to do it with such awesome reviewers had made me fall more in love with writing and continuing this journey with you all. Not to be so mushy ugh, but y'all are awesome. _

_Side note, I may not update for a little while (about three weeks or so) as my boyfriend and I will be going away for the next couple of months, and I would like to spend more time with him and be present as I don't see him as often as I like. On top of that, I have work to attend so the postings may be sporadic and up later than anticipated, but please be patient as the chapters will be worth it. _

_Since I just answered a bunch of questions. The time has come for you guys to do the same. I want you to tell me the following: 1) your least favourite and favourite seasons and episodes and why? 2) least favourite and favourite ships and why? 3) underrated friendships & other friendships that are your favourites? 4) favourite and least favourite character and why? and 5) whether or not you have a favourite soundtrack from the show that you enjoy or resonate with?. __ I am intrigued to know your guys' answers and see if we match on certain ones. _

_Also before I go, I wanted to know if you guys would be interested in me re-vamping my other story "Opposites Attract" from my old account as well (Sidney4522) and its more of a Brooke/Nathan story and my take on season 2 episode 20's plotline, or if I should just finish BA and SAY first. Let me know! With that being said, __I__ don't know when I'll update it next, but hopefully, it is soon._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time! Bye! _**_-Sidney_**


	3. Chapter 3

_"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back,"_

_\- Lucas Scott_

* * *

_**A/N:** Hello everyone, I would like to apologize for the lack of posting in the last few weeks. Like I mentioned I am currently on vacation with my boyfriend for the next month. I have not had time to write or publish any chapters. I am trying my best to write and post as much as I can during my vacation, but it's kind of difficult because I want to spend time with my boyfriend as I do not see him as often as I would like (long distance is hard lol!) and I also want to spend time away from social media, but as selfish as that sounds I also want to be able to post chapters that you guys would enjoy and like. This chapter is definitely my LEAST favourite, but I am currently writing the next few chapters as I speak. Trust me they are will interesting, to say the least. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**May 7, 2006**

"You and Haley are _so _cute, Nate," Brooke commented, plucking a strawberry off of her pile. Her lips were already stained a pretty red colour from the fruit.

"You know who else is cute, Brooke?" Nathan asked. Brooke shook her head. "You and Lucas," he teased.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Not as cute as you and Haley," she assured him.

Nathan opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the door to his apartment opened. He turned around and they all spotted Lucas.

"Hey, Broody," Peyton said, teasing Brooke at the same time.

Brooke's cheeks soon changed colours to match the shade of red on her lips. Lucas couldn't help but look at her beautiful, full, strawberry-red lips. He shook out of it.

"Hey, Peyton," he answered coyly. "Brooke, Nathan."

Nathan didn't look at him but instead teased him by saying, "Hey, you might want to pick your jaw off the floor. And you might need to do something about your blush. Your face is as red as Brooke's lips."

Brooke let out a giggle, and Lucas blushed even more. "I think it's cute," she assured him.

Peyton laughed. "I'm going to go outside. I'm finding it really awkward watching you two eye-sex each other," she said bluntly. Peyton turned and went on the balcony with her book.

"I'm going to get coffee for all of us. I'm out. I'll be back soon." And with that, Nathan grabbed his keys off the island and walked out, leaving Lucas and Brooke on their own.

Breaking the silence, Brooke moved the bowl of strawberries to Lucas. "They're really sweet. Do you want one?"

* * *

"Hello, Haley. The usual?" the barista at Karen's Café asked.

Haley smiled to see her there. "Yes. And a blueberry scone, please," she ordered.

"Coming right up."

Haley fidgeted and looked at the albums up front at the coffee shop, standing away from the counter. Before long, she noticed that her scone and coffee were being given to her. However, they were not handed to her by the tattooed hands of Kimia. They were handed to her by callused, yet gentle hands. She looked up. It was Nathan.

"The barista asked me to give this to you," he informed her, his blue eyes kind.

She took them out of his hands, barely containing her blush. She could've sworn she felt the electricity in between their fingertips, as cliché as it sounds. She jumped very slightly but smiled at him. "Thanks. Do you want to sit down?"

The question lingered in Nathan's mind for a moment. If it were anybody else except for Haley, he probably would've said no. But he just couldn't shake this feeling he got around Haley, which, dare he say, he had never gotten around anyone else in his life. "Sure."

They sat down in the nearest booth. Nathan had gotten his own coffee. Haley felt a little awkward, not knowing what to say.

After about thirty seconds of a long, awkward silence, Nathan spoke. "So how did you meet Brooke and Peyton?" he asked.

"I've known Peyton forever. We grew up next door to each other, but we really became friends during high school. We connected through music, and I joined the cheerleading team and from there, our friendship blossomed."

Nathan nodded in agreement.

Haley laughed, recalling a memory. "I remember the moment that I realized Peyton was my best friend. I think it was during my senior year. Some ex of hers—a guy—started calling her offensive names in front of everybody. I punched him so hard his nose started bleeding. It was the first time I ever got in trouble at school. Peyton said I was an idiot; I told her I would do it again for her, any day of the week."

"I met Brooke around the same time that I met Peyton. She was the one actually who convinced me to join the cheerleading team," she continued.

"What about you. How did you meet your friends?" she asked curiously.

He sighed. "Jake and I have known each other forever. We met in high school. He was in my class. "And I met Lucas through Jake, but I think you already knew that."

Nathan nodded. He smiled at Haley, who smiled back. For some reason, he couldn't get that stupid grin off his face.

Haley laughed. "That's nice. What did they do?"

"There were a lot of ditzy girls in my class. One of them asked what a diagonal was," he added.

Haley looked at him, trying to tell whether or not he was kidding. "You're not serious, are you? In a _college _math class?"

He nodded. "I wish I could say I was joking."

Haley laughed.

* * *

Brooke was lying down in her apartment with her cell phone in hand. She was speaking to Peyton at the moment.

"We so majorly need to talk about Haley. This is a dilemma; a BIG quandary,"

Peyton, in her room, was amused. She was drawing another sketch to add to her collection. "When did you start using such big words, Brooke?" she asked.

Brooke shrugged and sighed. "One day I just got really bored and read a dictionary. I wanted to use some big words on Haley one day and see what happens. I think that she might have a nervy conniption. Or should I say, nerdy conniption."

Peyton laughed. Her feet were propped up on the wall in her bedroom.

"Can I come over?" Brooke asked, a pout taking over her face.

"Sure."

Just as Brooke was about to hang up, Peyton got her. "Wait, Brooke!"

"What?"

"Can you stop by the corner store and pick up a pint of Phish Food?"

Brooke groaned. "Fine. But you're really lucky you're cute," she grumbled.

Peyton smiled. "Oh, and while you're at it, can you get a pregnancy test?" she called out, hoping Brooke heard.

Brooke gasped,"Peyton Sawyer!. When I get to your house, we are talking about this," she scolded as if she were Peyton's mother.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Brooke walked through the door. She opened the freezer and placed in a pint of Phish Food while leaving one out. Peyton already had two spoons. Brooke took out a brown paper bag which held the pregnancy test. Peyton reached out for it.

"Ah, ah!" Brooke scolded, pulling it away from her. "You're not getting this until you spill. Which means that you're not eating your Phish Food until you talk."

Peyton pouted. "The Phish are melting. Tick, tock. I'm nearly as stubborn as Hales,"

Peyton quickly grabbed the test out of Brooke's hand, dashing away with it in one quick move.

"Hey!" Brooke followed her into the bathroom. Peyton groaned when she saw Brooke in the bathroom with her.

"So are you going to dish?" she asked.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "I don't kiss and tell, B. Davis."

Brooke didn't stifle her laugh. "That was a good joke, P. Sawyer. Now tell me, you slut."

"You're not getting closer to the bacon," Peyton informed Brooke.

"Just spill it, Bitch,"

"That's not really a term of endearment, and you're not getting any closer so…I'll pass," Peyton said. Brooke groaned in irritation. She frowned. "You can't even tell me who it was? When? Why? Are you dating someone?" she asked eagerly and curiously.

"I wasn't aware we started a game of twenty questions," Peyton retorted.

"You're so mean to me, Peyton Marie Sawyer,"

Peyton looked away from Brooke. "Fine. It was that night I got really wasted. When we were with Haley, Rachel, Jake, Lucas, and Nathan?" Brooke nodded. "I was really drunk and I kind of sort of…stumbled into Jake's apartment and we had sex," she explained.

Brooke gasped. Her eyes were wide and shocked. "You and Jake? I would've thought me and Lucas or maybe even Haley and Nathan, but _you and Jake? _Oh my god!" Her face then fell. "Do you realize that everyone is getting laid except for the two people who need to get laid, like, right now?"

"You did it with Lucas?" Peyton asked, her voice not really surprised.

"We got this close," Brooke began, her thumb and index finger a centimetre apart for good measure, "to do it, but _you _interrupted. God, it's always the little people who make the best birth control methods; the normal size people are too scared to corrupt your innocence, so we have to abstain altogether, no matter how hard we want to—"

The timer went off for the test, interrupting Brooke mid-sentence. Brooke picked up the test and found the finally found the highlighted result.

"Ready?" she took her hand. Peyton nodded. "It's positive."

She couldn't respond. Instead, her mouth dropped open. Brooke smiled and gave her the courage to smile and accept the good news.

"Holy shit," she finally said. "I'm gonna be a mom."

"So, who's the lucky dad?" Brooke teased.

Peyton shot Brooke an evil look and she quickly shut up. Then she smiled and pulled her into a hug.

* * *

Haley woke up the next morning. Her hand stretched out, looking for her fiancé, but only touching the cool cotton sheets. She couldn't help but feel disappointed. Clay _always _did this when they got into a disagreement. Some part of Haley was holding out for change, but she feared that this would never happen.

Disappointed, she got up and went to make herself coffee. Her phone began to ring just as she sat down and began reading. She was a little agitated but figured it must've been Clay and was hopeful. For some reason, she was even more excited when she saw it was Nathan calling.

Haley attempted to keep all the excitement out of her voice. She answered as coyly as she possibly could. "Hello?"

"Hey, Hales, It's Nathan," he said.

Haley smiled to herself, but her voice stayed as calm as ever. "Hey, Nathan. What's up?"

"I just wanted to know if…maybe you wanted to meet. It was really great talking the other day. I really enjoyed talking to you," Nathan responded.

Haley couldn't keep herself from smiling like an idiot. "It was nice talking to you, too. Did you want to meet today?"

Nathan sounded surprised like he wasn't expecting her to say yes. Frankly, Haley didn't quite understand why. He was a lovely person. "Well…I…I…today works for me," he said finally, stuttering initially.

"Great. Do you want to meet at a diner? Five-ish?" she said hopefully.

After hanging up on Nathan, Haley smiled and began to prepare for this non-date date.

_Haley! You're engaged. You're __right…but Clay is being an ass. It wouldn't hurt to make him just a little jealous._

_…point taken._

Haley sighed as she stepped into the shower and let the scalding hot water wash away all her reservations about this.

She shuffled through her wardrobe, looking for something to wear when the doorbell rang. Using the security system that Clay had gotten, she saw it was Brooke.

"Come in, Brooke!" she shouted as she opened the door for Hanna.

Seconds later, the bubbly brunette walked into Haley and Clay's room and saw Haley in the closet. "Hey, Hales, what are you doing?" she asked.

Haley groaned. "I'm looking for something to wear. I'm meeting Nathan,"

Brooke gasped. Haley stared at her blankly. "What?" she asked.

Brooke shook her head. "Nothing, but…good little Haley is going on a _date _when she already has a _fiancé_?_" _she asked in shock.

Haley rolled her eyes. "It is not a date. It's just…two friends meeting for dinner at a diner," she insisted.

"Whatever. It's a date, Hales,"

"Is not!"

"It totally is!"

"Is not!"

"Is not!"

"It is!"

Brooke stared at Haley in victory. Haley glared at her. "I see what you did there. I hate you," she growled. Brooke simply laughed. She proceeded to shuffle through Haley's closet. Haley stepped aside, letting Brooke work her magic.

After a minute or two of searching, Brooke pulled out a red sundress. "Be bold, Hales, I promise you, it'll be worth it," she promised as she thrust the dress into Haley's hands. She got closer to Haley, whispering as if someone could hear them. "And between you and me, I already know that you're trying to impress him. I assure you: this dress _will _impress him."

Haley glared at Brooke but changed into it anyway. Brooke waited outside, looking around the couple's bedroom as she waited. She looked around Clay's bookcase. _Wow, he's more anal than Haley. Here, I thought it wasn't possible. _She picked up a book at random. It looked nerdy and fat and stuff. _Great Expectations. Interesting. _She shifted the book from hand to hand. Out slipped a piece of paper. She picked it up and saw that it was a phone number with the name "Sara" written above it. There was only ever one time where she found a phone number with a girl's name on it in a boyfriend's pocket or something. Suffice to say, that was _not _Brooke's boyfriend anymore, and they were never getting back together. _Hold up! What is this bastard doing behind Haley's back?!_

"Brooke! Can you zip it up for me?" she heard Haley call from the closet. Brooke jumped and placed the book down, taking the phone number anyway. This boy had some 'splaining' to do.

Once Haley was all ready and everything, Brooke's feels were swelling. She was witnessing the beginnings of a power couple. Now, she just had to remove that one person from the equation…

"Have fun, Haley," Brooke prompted.

Haley smiled. "Thanks, Brooke,"

* * *

Peyton didn't stop pacing around her apartment. Brooke was seated at her kitchen table. Peyton was really nervous.

"What am I supposed to do, Brooke?" she asked nervously.

"You have to tell Jake. Secrets grow just like babies, and you can't do this alone."

Peyton shot her a look. "Thanks, Brooke. That's really helpful. What am I supposed to do if it's true?" Peyton inquired.

Brooke was insistent. "Tell Jake! He seemed like a nice guy," she said.

"All guys seem like nice guys when you're drinking alcohol. What do I say? 'I know I just met you and we sort of had drunk sex one night, but I'm carrying your child'? How do you say that to someone, Brooke?" Peyton asked furiously.

"I don't know, okay? I've never really been in the same vote, so I can't really offer you any advice," Brooke said snippily. "I'm sorry, P. Sawyer, but if you are carrying a baby inside that tiny tummy of yours…you're going to need help."

Peyton sighed and sat down next to Brooke. "I know. Brooke, I'm so scared. What if he says that he doesn't want anything to do with this?"

"Are you sure that it's Jake's?"

Peyton nodded. "I haven't had sex with anyone else in months. I think I would've known if I was pregnant for months," she said.

Brooke hugged Peyton tightly, as she was shaking.

* * *

Haley nervously walked into the diner. Truth be told, she expected Nathan to be late, so she was surprised to see him waving towards her in a booth in the back. She smiled and walked over to him.

"Hey," she greeted, still smiling brightly.

"Hey. It's good to see you again," he said.

She smiled. "You too. I just feel like we should finally get to talk to each other without the fancy cheeses or the really loud, obnoxious, and terrible music between us," she joked.

He laughed. "So you thought it was terrible, too?" Nathan asked.

She nodded. "I hate bubblegum pop," she told him.

"What kind of music do you like?" he asked. Haley shrugged. He gave her a look. "You can't just know what kind of music you like."

She shrugged. "Indie rock? Alternative rock? I definitely don't like bubblegum pop. It's too…" she began, searching for the right word.

"Mainstream?" he offered.

She nodded. Before she could witness Nathan's reaction, she began solving the crossword puzzle on the paper mat. She was good at them.

Nathan watched her in amusement. He was okay at crosswords, but she was better. Much better. "You're pretty good at crossword puzzles," he said finally.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Well, I'm a genius at Scrabble. I've been solving crosswords since I was eight years old," she explained. She smiled deviously. "Even the Sunday ones."

He grinned. "Ooh. You must be amazing. You solved the _Sunday _ones."

They both exchanged a laugh. Only then, Haley noticed the coffee beside her. She noted it as Nathan raised his own cup to his lips. "Thanks for getting me coffee," she said as she took notice.

"You're welcome."

Haley shyly went back to her crossword puzzle.

* * *

"So what do you do now?" Haley asked as she poured the fifth cup of coffee. Nathan promptly took it away from her. She glared at him.

"I think you've had enough, Hales,"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "This liquid heaven is how I made it through my senior year in high school. I ran on, like, four hours of sleep every night," she explained.

He winced. "I really don't think that's a good thing."

She sighed. "Well, whatever. I'm perfectly fine now."

He shook his head dismissively. "You asked me what I do. I'm an NBA Player,"

She seemed impressed. "That would explain why you're so good at basketball. You're gifted."

Nathan smiled. "Thanks. Some people think it's stupid, but…I like it," he told her.

"You're good at it. And if you love it, that's the best. I had a job that I hated when I first got out of college, so I quit. And now, I'm not doing anything. I've been looking for something that I really enjoy doing, but my fiancé suggested I live a life of leisure since there's no real need for more money," Haley explained.

"That must be nice…not having to worry about money," Nathan commented.

Haley shrugged. "It's comforting, but it's boring. I'm the kind of person that can't just be still. I have to be doing something. I stayed at home for one day and I was already going stir-crazy. I can't imagine even a week, much less the rest of my life." She thought for a moment. "He hasn't been that supportive when it comes to what _I _want to do," she thought aloud. Instantly, she regretted it. She was spilling her deepest thoughts out to a total stranger.

And yet, Nathan made it seem so easy for her to do that.

"Have you talked to him about how you feel?" he asked gently.

She shook her head. "Sometimes I feel like…I can't talk to him in that way."

He examined her. She seemed to be thinking intently. That, or she was just staring off into space. "I don't mean to sound like a complete ass or make assumptions about your relationship, but what kind of a relationship is that?" he asked her.

Normally, Haley would automatically snap into defence mode. But being with Nathan was much different. She actually listened to what he said. "I don't know." _What's so special about Clay? _"I guess he was the first person I ever dated that my parents ever accepted. And I just…I like him so much. He's a sweet, kind person," she insisted.

He nodded acceptingly. _But you never mentioned that you love him._

Haley looked down like she was ashamed. It was something Nathan noticed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just really scared that I'm going to lose him lately. It's like nothing I do anymore is right. But I guess I'll admit that I've been feeling different lately," she added.

That wasn't a good thing. It sounded like something his mother would say about his father. Right before she killed herself. "What do you mean?"

Haley began to tremble, and she felt a lump rise in her throat just thinking about it. "He's been gone, and it's all my fault. I keep pushing him away. Like, I was talking to you the other day in the coffee shop, and I was late. He stormed off and went drinking with his friends. He never came home. And before that, he got angry at me because I abandoned him to hang out that night at the bar with you and everyone else," she told him.

Nathan examined Haley with his blue eyes. Haley was trying to avoid being in his gaze, not even daring to look up since she knew she would crack under pressure. "None of those things are your fault. You're allowed to have friends apart from Clay. It's okay to have a life outside of your house. Maybe there's something else going on with Clay," he suggested.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Haley finally looked up at Nathan. It was if the storm had passed. She looked completely fine. "Anyway, I should probably get going, Nathan. It was so nice meeting you," she insisted as she got up and threw money down on the table.

Nathan began to protest but Haley was practically out the door by the time he got to. She seemed to be in a hurry.

* * *

Haley closed the door to her apartment. She found Clay sitting on the couch, reading. It was a scene she had walked into several times before. This time, though, it was different. Things were eerily…abnormal. It was like there was a tension in the room which only she could feel.

"Clay. You're home," she stated. But the way she stated it made it seem more like a question. Truthfully, Haley was shocked.

He sighed and finally noticed Haley. "I know, Hales. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I just needed to escape," he insisted sweetly.

For once, though, Haley stood up to him. "This is how you're acting now, but what about when we have a child? What happens when you need to escape and I really need you?" she asked boldly.

"It won't happen again," he promised.

"You say that every time, but it always happens again," she snapped with bitterness.

Clay looked at her, and Haley felt weak again like she was powerless. It was something that Haley James didn't feel around anyone else. "Haley, do I love you or not?"

Haley felt her heartbeat quicken every millimetre he moved closer. She kept fearing a slap or something. "Yes?"

He nodded. "I wouldn't ever abandon you if you really needed it. You know that a lot has been going on. I love you, Hales. And I was hoping that tomorrow, we could get things done for the wedding. You keep asking me about the invitations and everything, and I figured we could get that all settled," he told her.

Haley expelled all of her doubts and fears as she exhaled. "Really? That's great. I've been really anxious to start and everyth—"

Haley was quickly cut off by Clay's lips against hers. She didn't resist at all, but she pulled away after a few moments of his lips lingering on hers. "What was that?" she asked.

"I said that we could start _tomorrow_, Hales," he said suggestively.

Haley smirked and pulled him in for a kiss.

_This is exactly how it's supposed to be. He loves you, Hales. You two just made love. This is right. You're marrying him, and it's right, Haley_ told herself later that evening as the couple lay in their luxury bed.

Except what Haley didn't realize was that there was a difference between "making love" and just having sex. One implies passion and an actual yearning behind the action. It is a term reserved for two people who genuinely love each other enough to become naked in their presence, in more ways than one. There were no regrets, no sunrise, nor was there usually any hesitation. It was just love. The other can be exchanged between two complete strangers, no strings attached. There was no love of any sort behind it.

* * *

Brooke sighed as she fell back onto Peyton's couch. Haley was with them as well. "Can we do something today? I'm going stir crazy, and ever since I found out that P. Sawyer is expecting, I'm strangely in serious need of a couple of shots of Patron. I need a new drinking clique," Brooke said.

Peyton eyed Haley in shock. "What?"

Peyton looked anxiously at Brooke. "That was supposed to be a secret, Brooke!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, but when I don't have alcohol, I have no filter," Brooke insisted.

Haley now turned to Brooke in disbelief. "I think that's a paradox, Brooke,"

Brooke scoffed. "I think it's called an orthodox, Hales,"

"Nope, it's definitely a paradox."

Brooke scoffed again. "Whatever. And Hales? There's no constant need for a genius in the room at all times," she said.

"Can we maybe go out with Lucas and Jake?" Brooke asked finally.

Haley left the room, as they looked at her expectantly. Brooke fished around her bag for the item she was looking for. She pulled out the slip of paper she had found in Clay's book. "Look at this. This was hiding in Haley and Clay's room in his bookshelf," she said, showing them the number.

Peyton bit her lip. "That can't be good," she said quietly. "There's only one thing that can mean."

"Clay is a cheating, lying, good-for-nothing, womanizing…" This rant continued for what seemed like forever. "…evil snake-bastard, and I won't let him get away with hurting my Hales!" Brooke exclaimed angrily.

"How are we going to tell Haley?" Peyton asked.

Peyton shrugged. "I wish we could consult the Dalai Lama about this," She thought aloud.

Brooke seemed extremely confused. "You want to go to Tibetia to talk to the Dolly Llama?" she asked.

Peyton looked even more confused than Brooke at this point. "It's Tibet and it's the Dalai Lama. Anyway, no, Brooke. I'm talking about Nathan,"

"Nathan knows the Dolly Llama?"

Peyton sighed. "Brooke, please go find something to stick in your mouth other than your foot."

Brooke shrugged. "Okay, but I don't think I can fit a whole bagel in my mouth," she commented.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Moving on, I wish I could talk to Lucas about this, but I know exactly what he'll tell me; stay out of this, you don't know what's really going on with Haley and Clay, and it's not your place to meddle or judge," she recited.

Peyton sighed. "Well, we're meeting up with Lucas and Jake to talk about this. I have big news to tell Jake, anyway," she said shyly.

Haley had re-entered the bedroom and put two and two together…_holy crap. _"Is it…Jake's baby?" she asked, tiptoeing on the question.

Peyton nodded. "It has to be. We were both drunk, but you've seen _16 & Pregnant. _It only takes one night before you have to go through nine months of pregnancy. One drunk, stupid night," she added bitterly.

* * *

The girls all walked into the bar that everyone had met up in a few weeks prior. They saw Jake and Lucas sitting down at a booth and quickly sat next to them.

"You wanted to meet?" Lucas asked.

Brooke scoffed. "Well, we wouldn't have called you if we didn't," she said.

Lucas rolled her eyes. "Is someone PMSing?" he asked.

Brooke narrowed her brown eyes at him. "Well, I can tell you one person who sure isn't…" she muttered under her breath.

Peyton kicked her underneath the table. "Ow!" She glanced over at Lucas, who was laughing. "Jerk…" she murmured.

"Love you too, Brooke," he said smugly. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, this is serious. Can you seven-year-olds call a truce or start a war some other time? We're here to talk about Haley and Nathan," Peyton announced.

Jake nodded. "It's only a matter of time before something happens between them," he assured the other girls.

Brooke sighed. "We were hoping that was the case, but Haley is so stubborn and adamant when it comes to her deadbeat of a fiancé," she grumbled. "She's never going to leave Clay,"

Peyton frowned at the very thought of kicking such a cute little puppy. "I can't help Haley unless she realizes she needs help. She's going to deny that he's doing anything wrong," Peyton reminded them.

They all sighed and thought of something new to do. "We need the only person that she'll listen to," Brooke answered finally. They all looked at her with piqued interest. "We need Nathan."

Peyton shook her head. "We need Haley and Nathan to happen, like right now," she insisted.

Lucas schemed for a moment. "So what we need is for Spencer to get away from Clay, confront her with the evidence, and wait for love to take its course."

Peyton sighed. "What did you not understand? She's not going to leave him." Lucas smiled, which threw off Peyton. "What?"

"You see, Peyton, there's one thing that you're not realizing. Haley is probably this way _because _of Clay's presence. If we can get her away from him for like ten days, maybe she'll change," he suggested.

"And how do we know that for sure?"

"Well," Lucas began, "I've seen a similar situation in my life before. My own parents. My mother finally gathered the courage to leave my father when he went on a long business trip."

Brooke looked at Lucas and then at the others. "I'm in on this plan," she said. She looked into Lucas' eyes, and he smiled. "Well, who's with us?"

Jake sighed. "I'm willing to try to get Haley out of this."

"I am, too. I want to see them both happy. Nathan deserves this, and Haley deserves better," Peyton explained.

Lucas smiled. "It's a plan."

Peyton smiled and nodded. But then, her face fell. "Well, wait a second. How do we get her away from Clay? He's attached to her like…all the time. He may be a terrible boyfriend, but he's also kind of clingy."

Brooke shook her head. "Love will find a way," she insisted.

Lucas smiled at her.

Breaking the two of them out of their reverie, Peyton groaned. "Ugh, not this again! I walked out of the room the last time you two were eye-sexing each other! I want a drink," she exclaimed.

They all laughed at Peyton's sudden outburst. She flagged down the server.

* * *

_So there you have it. Peyton's pregnant, and Clay is possibly cheating on Haley. We will find out what Jake has to say about Peyton's pregnancy. Thank you all for the reviews the last chapter. I liked to read what you guys enjoyed and didn't enjoy. I hope you guys liked this chapter_. _ Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Any sort of feedback is welcome! _

_**Guest:** Thank you! I'm happy you're enjoying the past sequences and the blooming friendships. _

_**thibbs65:** Thank you thibbs! Brooke is crazy about Lucas lol! I was not a fan of season two as well. I am glad we have similar tastes in favourite seasons. It's interesting to know that Haley is your favourite character she is not usually a lot of people's favourite. Why do you like her so much? I think we can all agree that Naley is the best couple on the show the love they have for each other is love that we all want and hope for. I don't think it was necessarily Deb's intention on leaving Nathan with Dan but we all know how controlling Dan is. I think it had to do with her pill addiction and the constant battle with Dan that Nathan was often left on the sidelines. Regardless, I think she still would choose him over Dan and pills any day. _

_**naley12:** Thank you! _

_**Kaylaramirez16:** Thank you! I will try my best to update SAY as well. I am currently having writers' block because I do not know what direction to take the story in. Also, I can only juggle one story at a time so for right now my focus is on completing this story and then having time to dedicate and write detailed chapters for SAY. I do not post as often anymore as it is plus, I want to give you guys chapters you will enjoy and that are not half done. Do you know what I mean? So with that being said, I will update SAY as soon as I can, but for right now, BA is my focus. Hope you understand!_

* * *

_With that being said, __I__ don't know when I'll update it next, but hopefully, it is soon._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time! Bye! _**_-Sidney_**


	4. Chapter 4

_"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."_

_-Mark Twain_

* * *

**A/N: **_I just want to clear up a few things because people seem to be confused with the timeline of the story:_

_Haley, Lucas, Nathan, Brooke and Peyton ALL KNEW OF each other in high school, however, they did not speak to each other with the exception Lucas and Haley (best friends), and Lucas and Nathan (best friends/brothers) , Brooke, Peyton and Haley (ALL close friends), Nathan and Peyton (Acquaintances). Nathan & Brooke (not friends), Nathan & Haley (not friends). They only knew of each other by association._

_Haley and Nathan began dating during college in the flashbacks after she separates from Clay. _

_Brooke and Lucas dated each other for two years (2006-2008) during the flashback however in chapter 3 the flashback details that they broke up, because Lucas cheated on Brooke with Peyton, and in retaliation, he told Brooke he was planning his wedding with Peyton to hurt her. They reconciled with each other about a year later after becoming friends again but Brooke never forgot about Lucas and Peyton. _

_The flashbacks are happening during college, everyone in the story with the exception of Clay is 20 years old. Clay is 21. _

_Rachel becomes friends with the group during the flashbacks. Nathan and her DID NOT date during the flashbacks (as she has a boyfriend), they only began dating during the present time (more on their relationship later). She is a mutual friend of Peyton and Nathan during the flashbacks, hence why she went to the gala dinner with him. Peyton and Rachel became friends during high school._

_Peyton and Jake also dated for a few years in college, but just like Lucas and Brooke she cheats on Jake with Lucas, and in the process destroys her relationship with Brooke and Haley. She and Jake reconcile with each other afterwards for the sake of their child and get engaged because Jake did not stop loving Peyton despite the fact she cheated on him. _

_I hope that clears up any remaining confusion you have about the story. I will try my best to make sure everything is clear and concise for you guys to understand. I apologize for the confusion this may cause you. Without further ado, please enjoy chapter 4. _

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**May 17, 2006**

"Thanks for walking me home, Jake," Peyton said shyly as the two walked down the street.

Jake laughed. "Are you forgetting? Your home is like two apartments down from my home. We're walking home together," he corrected.

Peyton rolled her eyes amicably. "Yeah, yeah, Smartass. You don't need to be such a Haley."

This made them laugh a little. Then, things got quiet and the only noises were cars passing and crickets chirping. "I also kind of wanted to walk with you to tell you something," Peyton said as they passed the halfway point to their apartment complex.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

Peyton sighed and stopped walking. Jake became a little alarmed. "What is it?" he repeated, with more fervour.

"I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it." She sighed and looked at the ground. "I'm pregnant…" she began. "And it's your baby."

Jake was dead silent for a moment. He didn't even breathe. Peyton looked at him expectantly. Jake could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "You're pregnant?" he asked finally.

She nodded. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do," she said meekly.

"Well, I'm going to support whatever you do," he answered.

Peyton looked at him in shock. "Jake, you—"

"I'm as responsible for this as you are. If you want to give it up for adoption, I won't stop you. If you want to keep it, I'll support you. If you want to do other things…" Jake's voice suddenly became very quiet. "I'll deal with it."

Peyton shook her head incessantly. "I'm not going to abort it." She looked at the ground and up at him again. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"It's your child," he said.

She shook her head again. "It's as much mine as it is yours. I'm just carrying it," she insisted.

They looked at each other for a moment more before Peyton spoke again. "I'm really glad it's you and not someone else, Jake," she said before walking up the stairs of their apartment complex.

* * *

Haley awoke and the sun was shining warmly on her face. She smiled. Clay wasn't right beside her, but she smelt coffee downstairs and cheerily got up to greet him.

"You seem happy this morning," Clay noted as Haley immediately went for the pot of coffee, grabbing a mug.

"I've been down here for five seconds," she argued. "How could you possibly tell that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I guess I just know you really well."

Haley smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "I guess so because I'm really happy this morning," she confirmed. "What are you doing today?" she asked.

"I was just going to go to the office. I don't know if I'm doing anything afterwards," he informed her.

She pouted. "That sucks. I really liked having you all to myself yesterday," she said.

Clay sighed. "I hate to tell you, but there are going to be times I'm away for longer than eight hours, Hales," he reminded her.

She sighed; "I know, but that doesn't mean I hate them any less."

Clay planted a kiss on her lips before going upstairs. Haley stood, dumbfounded for a moment. _Wait a second….what just happened? _Haley shrugged it off. _I guess that's just what love does to you._

* * *

"Hey, Peyton!"

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" Peyton asked as Nathan walked a hazel-eyed brunette in Peyton's apartment. Her name was Rachel. She had tan skin and hazelnut-coloured hair. She was about 5'5", or around Brooke's height.

Rachel was a mutual friend of Peyton and Nathan. She was Peyton's friend first when the two were both going to school at Tree Hill. Gradually, she grew closer to Nathan, with the two of them actually going on a few romantic dates, but deciding they were better as friends. Rachel and Peyton no longer spoke as much, but she was one of Nathan's best friends.

"I just decided, why not stop by? Besides, I'm in Tree Hill for work," she explained.

Peyton smiled. "This is such a great surprise. And when you say you're here…" she began.

"I've moved here. My boyfriend Dean is here, and I figured, why not? We're pretty serious, and it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Long-distance relationships are hard. And it's not much of a sacrifice. Tree Hill is beautiful and _so much cleaner _than New York City," Rachel added.

Peyton laughed in agreement. She looked at the clock in her apartment and sighed. "As much as I'd love to stay and play catch-up, I'm going to meet Haley," she said as she picked up her bag.

Rachel nodded and turned to Nathan, "So is she your girlfriend?"

Peyton smirked as the colour rose to Nathan's cheeks. "No! She has a fiancé," he responded.

Rachel nodded. "Just a friend?"

"Nathan wishes she was more than a friend," Peyton muttered with that ever-present smirk.

"I think you have to go, Peyton!" Nathan exclaimed, ushering Peyton out the door. Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

Peyton walked out the door reluctantly, hoping to make Nathan squirm once more, but not knowing how.

* * *

"I brought all of the necessities," Brooke said. Peyton immediately went to look in her bag, but Brooke simply shooed her away.

"What Malibu Barbie here forgot to mention was that she made me her pack mule," Lucas replied, walking in after Brooke. He was carrying several bags. Brooke sat down at the counter separating Peyton's kitchen from her dining/living room. He set them down on top of the counter.

Peyton looked in the bags. "Jeez, how much did you bring, Brooke?" she asked.

"Just the essentials. Ice cream, maternity pills, books about babies, the movie _What to Expect When You're Expecting _and _The Back-Up Plan_," Brooke said.

Peyton looked up at her as if she were crazy. "I thought you said just the essentials?"

"What? J. Lo was really good in that movie," Brooke said defensively.

Lucas sat down on Peyton's couch and sighed. "I thought you said Jake was going to be here. I won't be able to take the entire day around this much estrogen."

"He is. And I'm not sure who has more estrogen—me or you," Brooke remarked.

"I'd watch it if I were you, Malibu," he warned playfully.

Brooke rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Peyton witnessed the entire exchange. "You two would make such a cute couple," she taunted.

Brooke scoffed. "Okay, I made out with him at the bar that night because I was more than a little tipsy and he bought me a frozen yogurt."

Peyton nodded. "Right," she said with an undertone of sarcasm.

"It was! Nothing is happening."

"Just…do me a favour, and if you do it today, don't do it on my couch. I'm probably going to fall asleep there for the next nine months. Hell, I don't care if you do it in my bed. The couch and the counters are off limits."

If Peyton wasn't pregnant, Brooke swore she would've smacked her. "What do you mean? You're going to be here the whole time. I told you…we don't want to corrupt your innocence," she whispered.

Peyton smiled. "And you won't have to, because I'm meeting Haley for an hour or two. But you can watch _What to Expect When You're Expecting _for when you're actually expecting. Lucas should watch, too, so he knows."

Brooke scoffed. "You're just bitter because your baby daddy is not as hot as my hypothetical one would be."

Peyton smiled in victory before turning around and proceeding to walk out the door. Brooke realized what she just said. "Damn it! I didn't mean it like that! Peyton! You know what I mean!" she shouted.

"Oh, I know what you mean. You want to bear Lucas's children. And I think your babies would be adorable. See you later. Remember—no memories on that couch!" Peyton warned before walking out the door.

Brooke sighed in annoyance. Lucas watched from the couch. He witnessed the entire ordeal. "You want to what?"

Brooke turned red. She glared at him but wasn't able to hide her embarrassment. And Lucas enjoyed every second of it.

* * *

"So how long are you in Tree Hill for?" Nathan asked as he and Rachel sat down in a booth. They were at the coffee shop.

Rachel shrugged, looking around. "Not that long. Maybe like a month? A month and a half? I don't know. I've been working as a bartender in this bar," she explained.

He was surprised at that. "Oh? What happened to the modelling and method acting?"

"I've kind of given up on it. I'm just not what designers and photographers are looking for, you know? I'm not tall and thin as a rail. It's not that easy getting work."

"You're right. You're better," Nathan answered.

She smiled. "Thanks. And for the record, you're not so bad yourself." Rachel paused for a moment as she looked at a packet of sugar, playing with it. "Which is why you need to tell me about Haley. And how the hell this chick has a fiancé when she could have you," she said.

There was one thing about Rachel, and it was that she wasn't scared to get right to the point. She was just the kind of person who wasn't fazed by the smoke and mirrors; she just wanted the real story.

Nathan sighed as he thought of that. "When I met her, she was engaged," he explained.

"So what's wrong with her? Why hasn't she dumped her fiancé for you yet?" she asked.

"Rachel…" he began. "Things aren't that simple."

"They can be," she said. "If you want them to be that simple. If she wants them to be that simple, too. Everyone always talks about how hard love is and how difficult it can be, but when you have the right person and you really love them that much…it doesn't have to be," she explained. "I made them less complicated. I was sure of what I wanted. I really love Dean, and I know that I'd rather have him than my career in New York."

Nathan nodded. "I guess that means we have nothing."

Rachel shook her head. "That's not what I said."

Another thing about her was that she sometimes spoke in apparent paradoxes. She was a contradictory person.

"What I'm trying to say is that love, per se, is not that complicated. There are outside things that make it seem complicated; like a crossword or a Sudoku puzzle. True love will still find a way," she said.

As touching as what she was saying, Nathan couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, that was beautiful and all, but who are you and what have you done to Rachel? Because the Rachel I knew thought that love was overrated. Either you're not Rachel, or your boyfriend has turned you into a hopeless romantic. In that case, I need to meet him, because he's a miracle worker," he teased.

"I guess you're meeting my boyfriend," Rachel replied.

"Whoa, is this Haley?" Rachel asked as she looked through Haley's Facebook photos.

Nathan sat down beside Rachel. "Yes," he replied sheepishly.

Rachel looked at Nathan before looking back at Haley. "She's really pretty." She kept looking through Haley's pictures and encountered one on Haley and Clay's romantic trip to Spain. Rachel stopped and examined Clay. "Wait a second, is this her fiancé Clay?"

Nathan nodded. "Why?"

"I've seen him before."

He was intrigued. "Really? Where?" he asked.

"At the bar. Are you sure that this is really her fiancé?" she questioned again.

He sighed. "I don't like where this is going."

Rachel looked over at Nathan. "The man I met was not engaged. He wasn't wearing a ring and he started hitting on me. I politely asked him to flip off, and when he wouldn't, I was just about ready to flip him off. He doesn't come around much anymore, but when he did come frequently like two or three weeks ago, he was always with this one girl. And then he found another one. And another one," she explained.

Nathan looked at her. "No, that can't be true. Haley said he's a good guy," he insisted. "And he's engaged to her."

"Not the man I know," she replied cynically. "I'm sure Haley is great and this guy is just a scumbag," she muttered.

Nathan nodded. "I guess so because it's nothing that Haley did."

Nathan sighed and clicked out of the photo album. He still couldn't believe his ears.

* * *

Haley and Rachel were just having a really interesting talk when Peyton spotted them. She sat down at the table they were at.

"Hey. I was beginning to think that you weren't going to show," Haley began, hugging Peyton. Peyton smiled at Rachel.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I come? I was just caught up with Lucas and Brooke."

Haley groaned. "Why? Were they eye-sexing each other again?" she inquired.

Peyton nodded. "It was disgusting. So I just left them at my apartment. And as much as I'd love to be here with you guys all day, Jake is coming over at two-ish," she explained.

"Have you talked to him about the baby?" Haley asked.

Rachel nearly spat out the lemon water she was sipping. At least, it was enough to make her choke. "What baby?"

Oh, right. Peyton had neglected to mention it to Rachel. "So that night that we went to the bar, do you remember how drunk I was? Well, I stumbled into Jake's apartment and we had drunk sex and…now I'm pregnant," Peyton explained.

"And I'm the last to know?" Peyton braced herself for the worst. "What are you going to do about it?"

Peyton looked down at her still tiny stomach. "I want to keep it," she said, almost as quiet as a whisper.

"I'm really happy for you," Rachel replied, reaching out to hug Peyton. Peyton took the hug in surprise but hugged her back.

"So how have things been between you and Clay?" Peyton questioned once Rachel released her.

Haley sighed, but a smile was on her face. "Things have been great with us. Thanks for asking."

Rachel smiled. Haley didn't notice, but Peyton could see just how fake her smile was.

* * *

Peyton stared at him, her mouth agape. "Are you serious? Clay really is cheating on Haley?"

Nathan nodded sadly. "And Rachel confirmed it. She said she's seen Clay at the bar she works at with a bunch of different girls, and in a romantic way. He even tried hitting on her a few times," he explained.

Peyton scoffed in disgust. "I want to punch him in the face," she said bitterly.

"You pulled the words out of my mouth, Peyton," he replied in agreement.

Peyton sighed. "You have to tell Haley. You can't let her get hurt again."

Nathan walked over to the window, looking out at the rain. "If I tell her, I'll never know why I told her. I'll never know if it was because I wanted better for her, or…" he trailed off. His voice became very quiet. "Or if I wanted her for myself."

"You need to swallow your pride, Nate, and keep Haley from making the biggest mistake of her life. If you're really her friend, you'll tell her," Peyton insisted.

"It's not that easy!"

"Well, what's so hard? If you don't tell her, she's marrying a cheating scumbag, and if you do, she's not."

He bit his lip. "I don't want to lose her."

She was quite confused. "How will you lose her? If anything, she'll be thankful you told her," Peyton retorted.

"Peyton, I've seen it happen before, and things don't always work out that way," he answered firmly. "I will think about it, but I don't want to lose her."

"If this is the way you see things, you're going to lose her either way."

Those words echoed in Nathan's mind until he wasn't able to sleep that night. Even though he hadn't known Haley for very long, he already knew she was special. There was no way he was letting her slip out of his fingers. That wasn't happening.

* * *

Haley awoke to an empty bed and the doorbell ringing. She got up and looked outside the window, seeing that Clay's car was not in the driveway. She sighed as she went down the stairs. She slipped on a sweater over her camisole, answering the door. She was surprised to see the person behind it.

"Nathan? What are you doing here?" she asked. She noticed a brown paper bag and coffee in his hands. "And what is that?"

Nathan sighed. "Can I come in?" Haley stepped aside and allowed him in. "This is breakfast. I think you and I need to talk."

Haley was a bit confused but went with it. "What is this about?" she asked in a soft tone.

He shrugged. "Just about…things."

She eyed him cautiously but took the things out of his hands. She led him over to the kitchen island and set down the things. Nathan followed. She looked up occasionally to see him staring at her.

"It seems like something's really bothering you," she said finally.

He nodded. "I guess you can say that." He watched as Haley took out the bagels he had gotten and the brown paper napkins from the bag. "It's not about me. It's about a friend?"

Haley became intrigued. "Alright. Do tell," she insisted as she took out butter, jelly, and cream cheese from the fridge.

_How do I start?_

* * *

Brooke looked like she was about to turn beet red. She was already halfway there. "That cheating, lying bastard!" she fumed.

Peyton gasped. "Brooke! What if the baby can hear you?" she asked, placing her hands over her seemingly non-existent tummy.

Brooke rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh, please. Your baby is the size of my freaking pinky nail. They don't have ears yet."

"Well when they do get ears, I am not bringing them around Auntie Brooke's place, because they're going to come out swearing and flipping people off," Peyton answered sternly.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh, kiss my ass."

"Can we get back on topic here? Sorry, Peyton; your baby won't hear Brooke and her foul mouth for a while yet," Rachel informed Peyton.

Peyton sighed. "Thanks, Rach, but that won't stop her."

Within the few weeks that Peyton and Haley had known her, Rachel was inducted into their circle quickly.

"This is serious. We have to tell Haley. Otherwise, she's going to be stuck, married to a cheater the rest of her life," Peyton reminded them.

"Do you want to tell her?" Brooke asked.

Rachel looked at Brooke like she was crazy. "I've known her for all of about a week. And I'd like to keep my face," she said.

Brooke sighed. "I'm not telling her. I will have to fight the urge to tell her 'I told you so,' and Haley _so _doesn't need that right now," she explained.

"Whoa, there is no freaking way I'm the one telling Haley."

There was dead silence except for the hum of the refrigerator in Peyton's apartment. Finally, Brooke came up with an idea. "We could all tell her together," she suggested.

Rachel was a bit skeptical of that. "Shouldn't Nathan be the one to tell her? He's the one who found out in the first place," she suggested.

"Yeah, I'm kind of with Rachel on this one. I'd like to keep my face. And my baby," Peyton added.

Brooke shrugged. "I don't care how she finds out, but it needs to happen before she gets married. Not after, not during. I am not buying a thousand dollar dress for a sham of a wedding that's going to be ruined anyway," Brooke complained.

Rachel gave her a strange look. "A thousand dollars for a dress you're going to wear once?"

"I go in a designer or I go in nothing," she answered.

Peyton smirked. "I'm sure Lucas would love that."

Rachel didn't even try to stifle her laugh as Brooke shot them a death glare.

* * *

"Nathan we've been sitting here exchanging nothings. You still haven't even _begun _to tell me about what you wanted to speak about," Haley reminded him.

Nathan's breath hitched, and he still had yet to think of the best way to break this news to Haley.

He glanced over at the clock. _12:45. _He had killed quite a bit of time talking about stuff that overall meant nothing.

_How should I say this? Haley, your fiancé is a cheating idiot and he doesn't deserve you. No…that sounds too rehearsed. Your fiancé is a cheater. No, that isn't it, either. Sometimes, when people are stuck in one-sided relationships, one party drifts off and does the act formerly known as "adultery"; it's now commonly referred to as cheating, and that's what your fiancé is doing to you. What do you want to do? Break her heart while coming off as a jerk AND insulting her?_

He shook his head, trying to expel all of those weird thoughts. "Haley, there's something you need to know."

"I know that already. We've been sitting here for about two hours while you've been mentally debating how you're going to tell me this," she said.

It was like she knew his innermost thoughts; it was like Haley could pick Nathan's brain just by looking at him. _Or is it just that obvious? _"I just really don't know how to say this."

"Just say it," Haley urged.

Just as Nathan was opening his mouth to speak, the door to Haley's house opened.

Nathan felt his stomach do a flip flop as he saw the person enter the house.

It was Clay.

* * *

Nathan had no idea what to do at this point. It was obvious Clay was caught off guard by Nathan being there.

Haley stood and walked over to her fiancé. "Clay, this is Nathan. He's one of Lucas's friends," Haley said.

Subconsciously, Nathan was disappointed that Haley had never mentioned him before.

"And this is Clay, my fiancé," she introduced, breaking Nathan from his thoughts.

Clay extended his hand to Nathan. "It's nice to meet you."

Nathan plastered on a fake smile and the two exchanged pleasantries. Out of the corner of his eye, Nathan could see Haley smiling.

"I just came by because I forgot something upstairs," Clay explained to Haley. She looked a little disappointed as if she was hoping the reason for his unexpected arrival was to see her.

Nathan watched Haley as she watched Clay go up the stairs. It was as if Nathan wasn't even there at the moment.

Five minutes later, Clay was out the door again. Nathan had finally mustered the courage to tell Haley what she needed to know.

Haley sat down in front of Nathan, but it was pretty obvious she wasn't actually thinking or concentrating on him.

"Haley, this is really important. It's about Clay," Nathan began.

Haley's expression remained blank. "What's about Clay?" she asked.

"What I wanted to talk to you about!" he exclaimed. Then he took a breath. Haley still seemed unresponsive. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

Haley didn't really seem to care. Nathan was becoming frustrated.

_Rip it off like a band-aid._

"Clay is cheating on you, Haley."

Haley finally seemed to respond to this statement. "You're lying, Nathan. I'm sorry, but that can't be true," she insisted.

"I didn't want to tell you like this, Haley."

"You have no proof," she tried again.

"My friend Rachel works at a bar in Tree Hill, and she's seen Clay there a bunch of times with a lot of women," Nathan told her.

She shook her head. "They might be clients, co-workers; Clay wouldn't cheat on me," she said stubbornly.

Nathan sighed. "Hales, Brooke found a phone number from a girl. Rachel saw—"

"Don't call me Hales," she interrupted. "Only my friends can call me Hales."

"I am your friend," he responded.

"No. A friend wouldn't make up lies about my relationship!" she said, raising her voice. "You're lying to me right now."

He shook his head. "I'm not lying about this. I'm telling you because I care about you," Nathan insisted.

"I want you to get the hell out of my house. Right now!" she yelled. "I'm sorry, but you need to leave," she responded, pushing him out the door.

Haley began crying, and she wasn't entirely sure why. She was certain that even in retrospect, she wouldn't understand why. She didn't know if it was because she just sent someone she genuinely cared about out the door or if it was because she really believed her fiancé was cheating on her.

But maybe it was both.

* * *

Peyton shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She was seated next to Brooke, and on the other seat in the room was Jake. It was dead silent in the room.

"I think that our takeout is ready, so I'll go pick it up," Brook said finally.

Before either Peyton or Jake could protest, Brooke had her bag and was making her way out the door.

Peyton shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She looked down at her nails.

"Are we going to not talk about this?" Jake asked.

Peyton shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "I don't know what there is to talk about," she answered.

"We've been tiptoeing around it." Peyton didn't respond. Jake sighed. "Do you want to keep the baby?"

She shrugged. "I'm not getting an abortion. And I don't want to live my life wondering 'What if I never gave them up'. I think I want to keep it," she said sheepishly.

Jake nodded, understanding.

Peyton finally looked up. "Jake, I don't want you to think that by keeping the baby, I'm asking you to do anything else. We don't have to be together for the sake of this baby. We don't have to get married, or anything," she let him know.

"What if I wanted to go out with you? What if I wanted to take you out on a date?" Jake asked.

Peyton sat, the words not being thoroughly processed in her mind.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" he asked finally.

She couldn't find words, so she simply nodded her head. Jake smiled, which prompted Peyton to smile, as well.

* * *

Rachel opened up the door and saw Nathan standing there. He was drenched, caught in the torrential downpour that plagued Tree Hill for the fifth time this week. Something else was obviously wrong with this picture.

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

Nathan was obviously shivering. Rachel took his hand and brought her into the apartment.

"Come inside. You're probably freezing," she said, her maternal instincts kicking in.

* * *

Haley sat inside her house, tapping the countertop with her fingernails. She was waiting for Clay to get home.

She was still unsure whether she could believe what Nathan was saying. As much as she trusted him and wanted to believe he wouldn't lie to her, she couldn't get over how irrational it was to end such a serious relationship due to someone else's belief.

She stared out of the window, thinking until her reverie was broken by the sound of a door opening. Quickly, Haley glanced at the clock. It was already three thirty.

Clay appeared and Haley mustered a smile as he kissed her on the forehead. She didn't know what to do. She was glad when Clay spoke first.

She wouldn't be relieved when she heard what came out of his mouth next.

"Haley, we need to talk," he said.

Haley looked concerned, hoping nothing bad was happening and that Nathan's suspicions weren't confirmed. "What's wrong? Clay?" she asked when he didn't respond.

"I want to know that you'll be okay."

Fear crossed her face. "Okay for what?" she questioned cautiously.

"I need to make a trip to Europe in a few weeks. France. Paris, actually," Clay said quietly.

Haley sulked a little bit. "Paris? Can't someone else go?" she asked sheepishly.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

They had talked about things they wanted to do as a married couple. Near the top of the list was going to the City of Love, Paris. Both had studied French in high school and were fascinated by the language and culture. Haley was crestfallen when she heard that he was going without her. "It's okay. I know you have to go," she lied.

Clay smiled at her. "I knew you'd understand. I love you," he said with a kiss on the lips.

Haley didn't want to let go of his hand but sighed as he left the room. She felt so alone at that moment.

* * *

"So what happened?" Rachel asked Nathan, giving him coffee. Rachel knew that he secretly didn't like the taste of coffee that much, but in order to make himself feel more like an adult than a child, he sucked it up and drank the coffee with his friends.

Rachel sighed. "I tried to tell Haley about Clay," he revealed.

"Uh oh. You said 'tried'. As in, unsuccessful," she noted.

He sighed again. "It didn't work out, Rachel. She was incredulous. She didn't even consider it. And then, she kicked me out of her house. She said I was lying and I'm sure she hates me now," he commented.

Rachel shook her head incessantly. "She can't hate you, Nathan. If she does, she's a fool. You're an amazing person, and Haley has to realize that. You're so much better than Clay," she insisted.

"Would you all stop with the two of us belong together all of that? She's getting married. Today was proof that nothing will ever happen between the two of us. She's in love with him," he snapped. Another sigh. "I'm sorry, Rach. I didn't mean to yell, but I just don't want to think about her being with someone like that. She deserves more and I really want her to be happy," Nathan explained.

"I know you do, Nate, I'm sorry that things are working out this way, but I'm sure that Haley will end up with the right person. She's a good person and she deserves that much," Rachel agreed, taking Nathan's hand.

They exchanged a smile and Nathan took a sip of the coffee, feeling like a child again. If only things were as simple as they were when he was seven.

* * *

Haley arrived at Peyton's house, giving her a hug. Peyton wrapped her arms around the much taller brunette. Haley smiled for what felt like the first time that day.

"Are you ready to go to your first ultrasound, P. Sawyer?" Haley asked Peyton, who was glowing.

Peyton nodded happily. "Very ready. I've been waiting all day," she informed her.

The two walked out to Haley's car. Haley insisted she drive, even though Peyton was only five or six weeks pregnant.

Peyton leaned back in the seat. "I'm enjoying my figure while I can. In a few months, I am going to be so big that I probably won't even be able to sit in this car," she said.

Haley laughed. "I think you're exaggerating. Maybe just a little?"

Peyton shrugged. "Maybe. Just a little."

The two exchanged a smile. Peyton really wanted Haley to know she wanted her support. Even though she thought her fiancé was a liar and a horrible boyfriend, she would always support Haley. Except for when it came to marrying Clay and starting a family.

Haley was glad knowing Peyton wanted her support and knew it was a big deal going to the first ultrasound. She felt honoured to become a part of the baby's life. She knew Peyton would need all the support she could get.

Once arriving at the OB/GYN's office, Haley became weary with the amount of pink and blue all over the room. There were so many pictures all over, making her feel uncomfortable. Peyton held her hand.

"Hales, I'm kind of scared," Peyton confessed quietly. She looked so sweet and innocent.

"You'll be fine, Peyton. You're not having the baby for another seven months, at least," Haley reassured her.

Peyton sighed and nodded.

Eventually, the two made their way into the OB/GYN's room and Peyton sat uncomfortably on the chair. Quickly, the nurse came and gave her the revealing, annoying paper gown required in the office, and Peyton reluctantly changed into it.

She came back, and not two minutes later, the doctor entered the room. Doctor Reynolds was Peyton's (and Haley's) OB/GYN. She was a really nice woman, about thirty or thirty-five, and Peyton and Haley both liked her a lot.

"Hello, Peyton, Haley, What brings you here today?" she asked brightly.

"I just came in for my first ultrasound," Peyton reminded her. "I just want to make sure everything's okay and just get to know about all the things I should and shouldn't be doing," she added.

Dr. Reynolds nodded. "Okay, well, why don't we get in there and see what's going on. Just to let you know, you're still not far enough along for me to use the abdominal machine to get a look, so we have to go another way," she explained.

Peyton took a deep breath and nodded. Haley got a little weary when Dr. Reynolds brought over a machine which had a long stick attachment. She figured where this was going and had to shake out the pins and needles she got in her hands.

"Whoa, Hales. You seem more nervous than I do," Peyton commented.

"Is the future Mrs. Evans going to be coming back here under different circumstances?" Dr. Reynolds asked. Her tone suggested something else entirely.

Haley shook her head. "No. We talked about it and we'd like to wait before having children," Haley informed them. "I'm on birth control right now," she explained.

Peyton rolled her eyes slightly while Dr. Reynolds nodded.

A few minutes later, the image came up on the screen. Haley saw tears forming on the edges of Peyton's eyes and water droplets forming on her long eyelashes. Peyton couldn't help but beam.

"Oh, my God. Haley," she said. Haley held her hand. She smiled at the sight, as well.

Dr. Reynolds sighed. "This is what I live for," she said quietly.

After a few minutes of admiring and printing out a few copies of the ultrasound, the machine was turned off and Peyton got to change back into her real clothes (which she was very thankful for).

"So, Peyton, one of the first things you should do it get started on some prenatal vitamins. I'm warning you that they will make you gain water weight, so your cute little figure may not remain so tiny, but it'll give the baby more nutrients and all those good things. Also, try not to go tanning or anything with a large amount of UV or Gamma-rays. In other words, try not to do anything that you'll need an x-ray for. It could hurt the baby," she explained.

Peyton nodded. "When should I come back here?"

"I'd say another six weeks. You're about six weeks right now. Then, you'll be about three months pregnant. You'll be a little bit rounder, and then, you'll be entering your second trimester," Dr. Reynolds informed her. She handed Peyton a copy of the ultrasound. "Congratulations, Peyton."

* * *

Peyton left the office, smiling, arm-in-arm with Haley. "I'm so happy, Hales. I know this baby wasn't at all planned, but I already love him or her," she said, glancing down at her flat stomach.

Haley nodded, leading Peyton to the car.

"It makes me think a lot about things. Like whether or not I really want children sooner or later," she said as she put the keys in the ignition. "I don't want to wait too long to have children."

Peyton nodded, not saying anything.

"Maybe I even want to start trying now."

Although she didn't say anything, the look on Peyton's face said it all.

Of course, Haley couldn't tell; she was already driving, and already far too oblivious to see how bad Clay really was for her.

* * *

"Ugh….pick up, pick up, pick up!" Peyton exclaimed in the phone. It gave one or two more rings before it went to Brooke's voicemail again. Peyton screamed as she threw her landline at the couch. She sighed. "You want to talk at three in the morning but you can't be bothered to answer when I call you at five in the evening!" she shouted. Regardless, nobody could hear her.

She looked around her empty apartment. The only thing that made her smile was knowing that eventually, that room would be filled with baby things.

* * *

Of course, Brooke was way too busy to answer Peyton. She had cuter priorities to tend to.

And before you go insane, wondering who could possibly be cuter than Peyton, picture a shaggy-haired, blue-eyed boy with the cutest smile sitting across from you.

Brooke was in that same situation.

Lucas smiled brightly as she attempted to eat Chinese food with her chopsticks. She finally gave up, putting the chopsticks down.

"So, again, I'm sorry that I acted like a complete and total bitch the other day, but around you, I just feel...stupider," she said. She picked up her cocktail, which was a Cosmopolitan Champagne, and a pretty pink colour. That was probably the main reason she chose that drink off the menu.

It must've tasted good, too, since it was her third or fourth one, and she was getting a little tipsy. She had to have been tipsy; there was no other way she'd own up to being bitchier than usual the other day.

"I just really like teasing you. You're such a tease. And you're so funny!" she exclaimed loudly. Lucas just had to laugh at a drunk Brooke.

"I think you've had one too many of these," Lucas said, taking the drink away from Brooke.

Brooke pouted in return. "I'd say I hate you, but I could never hate you," she confessed.

Lucas felt butterflies rise in his stomach at the sound of Brooke saying that. "Really?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "Can you bring me home? I'm pretty sure we know which one of us should _not _be operating any heavy machinery at the moment," she said with a laugh.

He nodded, glancing at his drink quickly. He had settled for just a soda. And then he saw the four empty glasses of alcohol.

"I think we should get the bill right now."

Lucas flagged down the waiter. Brooke took a final bite of her food when she _finally _heard her phone ringing. It wasn't Peyton this time. It was Rachel. "Hello?" she answered, her mouth full of food.

"Brooke? Where are you?"

Brooke looked around, forgetting where she was. She shrugged, forgetting that Rachel couldn't see her.

Rachel sighed. "Never mind. Can you come to my apartment as quickly as possible? I tried calling Peyton, but she didn't answer and I don't want to bother her," she explained.

Brooke sighed dramatically. "Can you talk to my bodyguard, Rach? My bodyguard-slash-chauffer-slash-potential-boy-toy?" she asked with a slight slur.

Before Rachel could answer, Brooke passed the phone to Lucas, who had just gotten the check. "It's a fan. She wants to arrange a meet and greet. Can you ward her off?" she inquired before she began to play with the stirrer that came with her cocktail. She took two and put them in her mouth like she was a walrus.

Lucas looked her over, a little disturbed. "Sorry about Brooke. I think she's a little more than tipsy, and I'm pretty sure she thinks she's a walrus right now," he said as he observed Brooke's childlike/drunk state. "This is Lucas, by the way."

"Figures," Rachel sighed. "Can you bring her over as soon as possible? And can you stay the night at my place? Nathan's really upset. He needs help right now," she added.

"Of course. I just have to pay and find a way to get Brooke into the car…" he trailed off, contemplating a solution to this dilemma.

"Just give Brooke a paper plate or something else round and have her make believe that she's driving. Brooke likes to be in control," Rachel advised.

Lucas nodded while looking over at Brooke, who was now poking herself with chopsticks. "Yeah…I'll see you soon, Rachel. I think that we'd better get going soon."

* * *

Haley lay down that night, alone in her bed. Even though it was warm in the house, she felt so cold. She wished at times like these that Clay was with her more often.

She shook her head, scolding herself silently. She felt so selfish, taking Clay for granted. It was true, that he didn't have to be there with her. But he stood by her through thick and thin. And still, she asked for more and more, like a truly selfish person.

Haley fell asleep as she listened to Clay chatter away with someone, his voice as soothing to her as on the very first day, when they had met in school, and when he saved her the first time.

Her eyes shut and she fell into the spell of sleep before she could recall that day in full.

* * *

Lucas led the drunk Brooke into Rachel's apartment. Nathan was sitting on the couch. He looked so miserable; he might as well be in one of those commercials for anti-depressants. He was curled up, facing away from them and cuddling in a blanket.

Without thinking (or thinking with her drunk brain), Brooke jumped onto the large couch right next to Nathan. She began to hug him, almost like she was spooning him. "Can you help me? I'm cold," she mumbled.

Nathan offered Brooke some of the blankets and she began to cuddle closer. "You and I seem to be the only ones that think Haley and Nathan should have cute Naley babies. I want to sleep with you like this every night. Can you be my human dream catcher? Maybe your long hair can work as a real dream catcher," Brooke suggested sleepily.

Nathan sighed, not really thinking about most of her comments. "Well, I think that she's trying to tell you that, Lucas, not me," he said, getting up and leaving the blanket to Brooke.

Brooke brought it close to her and snuggled in the fuzzy thing. "Brooke and Lucas…shippity ship ship ship ship…" she trailed off. "Haley and Nathan…hashtag, I ship dat. Shippity ship ship ship," she said with a cute little giggle.

"I'd say that she's really drunk and I'll give her five minutes until she passes out," Rachel said.

At that, Nathan began the stopwatch on his phone. Rachel rolled her eyes. She got back on topic. "Nate, can you explain to Lucas and Drunk Brooke what you did today?" she inquired with a sarcastic undertone.

Nathan looked down at his feet. "I told Haley about Clay," he said finally.

"What about Clay?" Lucas asked. He was clearly out of the loop.

"That he's cheating on her. And then she kicked me out of his house," Nathan explained sheepishly.

Lucas stood, his mouth open. Brooke groaned on the couch. "For someone so smart, you're sooo stupid, Haley James!" she exclaimed with a slur.

"Haley seems like a smart girl, but I have to agree with Brooke. How much more will it take before Haley realizes that this relationship is toxic? Clay neglects her, abuses her, cheats on her, and is going to cheat on her when they're married," Lucas fumed.

Rachel braced herself for impact, the only person realizing that Nathan was unaware of the second statement.

"What?" Nathan asked. He already looked tense and ready to snap.

Lucas fumbled, not knowing what to say. "Um…"

"What do you mean by 'He abuses her'?" he demanded.

Rachel sighed, figuring she better explain this one. "Brooke and Peyton have seen it. We've talked about it. They said that sometimes, when Clay drinks, he gets a little physical, and not in a good way," she explained.

"How can you be so calm about it, Rach?! She's your friend, too, isn't she? How can you sit by and let her get hit?!" It was clear that Nathan was losing it at this point.

Rachel sighed. "Nathan, I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves! I can't do anything to help her until she actually admits to someone that she's being abused, but whenever Brooke and Peyton bring it up, she denies it."

Nathan shook his head, clearly annoyed with the entire situation. Lucas was caught in the middle. Brooke laughed in her sleep, hugging the pillow. "You and I are going to be beeeeestest friends ever, and we're going to bring Haley and Nathan together. But once I get with Lucas, you can be my sidekick. And the fifth wheel on our dates. But maybe I can find you a nice pillowcase to go out with us. Hooooraaaaay for shipping….shippity ship ship ship," Brooke sighed.

* * *

Haley sighed. Not only was she feeling the stress of wedding planning, Clay going away, and her friends pushing her relentlessly towards Nathan, but now she had to deal with his accusations that Clay was cheating and something else.

She closed her eyes, willing those thoughts out of her brain.

The rhythmic and steady sound of water hitting the floor of the shower in the bathroom soothed Haley a little. She looked through Clay's belongings one final time to make sure that he had everything he needed for his trip. It was at times like these when Haley wondered whether she was supposed to be Clay's mother or fiancé.

Haley closed the suitcase as she felt two hands on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Clay standing there, shirtless. She gulped, unable to keep the teenage girl hormones and estrogen in check. She felt her mouth go a little dry.

"Can I drive you to the airport?" she muttered, wanting to be with him for as long as possible.

He nodded, teasing Clay by reaching around to take a shirt to put on. Haley held her breath at the contact.

"I'll be ready in fifteen minutes, Hales," he said quietly. She nodded.

* * *

Little did Haley know, while she was at the airport, dropping off Clay, Brooke was snooping around her house.

"Ugh, I don't think you guys gave me the right painkiller. I requested a bottle with a trough of water, not a baby aspirin," Brooke complained over the phone as she walked in.

"Brooke, it was all Rachel had in her apartment," Lucas responded.

Brooke scoffed. "So? How hard was it to go to the farm and get that trough I asked for?" she inquired. She walked up to the stairs to the second level, her Christian Louboutins clacking on the hardwood. Haley's no shoes-on-wood rule was shot to hell.

Brooke slipped into Haley and Clays' bedroom, automatically feeling creeped out. "Why was I coming here again?" she asked.

"I don't know, Brooke. You went there for unspecified reasons," he reminded her bitterly.

She had an a-ha moment. "It's because I knew you'd be judgmental. I was looking to see if I could find incriminating evidence. First I need to put on the sterilizing gloves. The last thing I need is to touch gonorrhea or syphilis germs unprotected. Especially off of some bitch I don't know," she said, looking around the seemingly spotless room.

Brooke walked into the en suite bathroom and fished out the disposable latex gloves Haley used for her OCD cleaning rampages. "Lucas, I need a guy's opinion on this. If you were married and were having an affair and brought your mistress home, where would you have sex?" she asked.

Lucas stuttered. "Well…I…I wouldn't…I'm not that kind of person," he finally mustered.

"If you were. Where you want to have sex?" she pressed.

"Not in the bed. That's kind of disrespectful. Even for Clay. Does he have an office or something at home? Maybe there?" he guessed.

Brooke nodded, though Lucas couldn't see, and went to Clay's home office. She looked through the drawers, around the cabinets, under the desk, pretty much everywhere. She stumbled upon something.

She groaned. "Clearly, Clay is not as neat as Haley, and right now I wish he was," she said, holding back a gag.

"What happened?"

She made a face. "You really don't want to know. Moving on," she announced, walking downstairs and getting to the living room. She stuck a gloved hand in between the couch cushions and felt something.

"I think I got a hit!" she exclaimed.

Pulling her hand out, she found a bra. "Damn! I was right! This couch eats everything!"

"What did you find?" Lucas asked.

"It's a bra, and, no offence to her—bless Haley's cute, naïve heart—there is no way that she could fill out this bra. It looks like a 34C or D, AKA, not Haley," she explained.

Lucas sat, trying to figure out what that meant. "I wish I knew how to speak bras, but I don't," he commented.

Brooke sighed. "Right."

She picked it up and placed it aside, making as little contact as she possibly could. She sighed, sticking her hand in the cushion again, looking for more. She ran her hands up and down the length of the couch and finally made a discovery. She pulled it out, finding a matching thong.

"This certainly does _not _belong to chaste little Haley James. This is probably the tiniest g-string I have ever seen. Clay can rot in hell for all I care," Brooke concluded bitterly.

Outside, she could hear an engine come to a stop as a car pulled into the driveway. "I've got to go, Luke. Haley is back."

Brooke hung up the phone, bracing herself for impact as Haley walked in. Haley came into the kitchen to get a glass of water, not noticing Brooke at first. She finally noticed her. She stopped in her tracks. "What are you doing here, Brooke? Did we make plans? Because if we did, I was just dropping Clay off at the—"

Brooke put her hand up and stopped Haley. With her gloved hand, she lifted up the lingerie. Haley looked confused. "What is that?" she asked, seemingly unaffected.

"It's something I found in your couch. I know it's not yours. I heard about what Nathan said to you," Brooke explained.

Haley sighed. "It's not your business what happens in our relationship!" she exclaimed.

"It's my business if one of my best friends is unhappy in her relationship," Brooke countered.

Haley scoffed. "I'm not unhappy," she insisted.

"You will be, Haley. Nathan was right. Clay is cheating on you. How do you even know that this 'business trip' he's on isn't just a romantic getaway with the girl you know nothing about?" Brooke asked irritably. She loved Haley, but she really was getting annoyed at how oblivious she was to this entire situation.

"Brooke! I know you don't like him, but I thought that for once, you'd be able to get over it. Get over it because I love him and I want to marry him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him! Don't you understand? Have you ever felt that way about someone?!" Brooke demanded before she could keep the words from spilling out of her mouth.

As soon as they came out, Haley regretted it. She regretted it because she knew how much those words stung and brought back uneasy memories to Brooke.

Brooke only stood in shock. Still, she didn't show it. "I'm doing this _because _I know exactly how you feel. But I'm done trying to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I'm out of here," Brooke answered calmly, yet angrily before she took her bag and left for the door.

"Brooke, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—"

Haley's pleads were cut off by the definitive slam of the door.

Haley sighed and leaned against the wall, not sure what to do anymore. She looked over at Brooke's supposed evidence and at the door again. She eventually walked over to the counter where her computer was charging.

She looked up the soonest flights to Paris.

* * *

_So I think that this was a really long chapter as I had to try and copy this about seven times on Microsoft Word before it actually worked. It was a little over 8 pages long. Just to avoid any confusion this all takes place in one day. _

_I know I left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger, but you'll find out what made Brooke so upset eventually. I was thinking it as I was writing, and I think it really makes an interesting dynamic between Haley and Brooke and eventually Brooke and Lucas__._

**_Guest:_** _I know right! LOL!_

**_thibbs65:_** _I hope so too! Those are all good reasons to like her. _

**_lalez:_**_ I know many people are confused about Lucas and Brooke's relationship. I promise I will dip into that a bit later, and hopefully, by then, it will be clear and concise. I know I enjoyed Brooke growing into the strong independent girl she was during the show, however, for context sake I had to add drama to the story and their relationship because what is a good story without conflict, right? Trust me in this story Rachel is bearable she's not as crazy as she was on the show. Oooh, you might be on to something! May I ask what about this hurts your head, and heart? Don't worry, all of the tension and conflict between Brooke and Peyton, Peyton and Lucas, Brooke and Lucas will be cleared up eventually. I don't like writing to them being upset with each other, because I do enjoy their friendship, but as I said, good conflict makes for a good story. I agree I believe Lucas should not end up with anyone, just cause of his poor character development. I know it's hard for me to write Clay being a complete a-hole, opposite of his character on the show, but I couldn't write him being this perfect-ideal boyfriend. It wouldn't make sense as to why they would break up, ya know? May I ask why the flashbacks confuse you? I would like to know so I can try and write it less confusing next time. Thank you for your review! I loved all of them. I hope you stick with this story and see where it goes!_

**_dianehermans:_** _thank you! I do as well. _

**_Guest_:** _I hope the bubble at the beginning of this chapter cleared up the confusion for you. I apologize that you are not enjoying the story, as it is confusing. I will try my hardest to make sure to make the upcoming chapters less confusing for everyone._

_**sandygirl:** It is no problem. Thank you, I do as well. They will be together soon I promise I am just taking my time writing their relationship as well as Naley's because I don't just want to jump into having them together as it won't make very much sense ya know?. Thank you again, I wanted to do to that for a while and I thought Peyton was the best one to give that storyline too, as brucas aren't developed yet, and Haley and Clay are a whole other ballgame. When it comes to Brooke and Lucas, they will have children eventually I promise. They got to get married and sort through their issues first LOL!_

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon. _

_Thanks for reading! _

_Until next time! __**-Sidney**_

**_P.S: _**_I was right, this is super long. It's over 9,000 words!_


	5. Chapter 5

_"They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!"_

_\- C Joybell C._

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**May 19, 2006**

"What? Haley are you crazy?" Peyton asked, putting down the dish she was washing and shutting off the tap water.

Haley sighed. She was trying her best to maneuver the luggage cart while still speaking to Peyton. "Peyton, I can't right now. But I'm going, and tell Brooke because I can't get her to answer my calls."

Peyton stared down at the dish towel in front of her. "Well, what you said to her was uncalled for and really upsetting, Haley," she answered softly.

"I know. But I'm trying to make things right," Haley answered after a pause. "For everyone."

Peyton hung up the phone, looking over to her company. Rachel, Brooke, Nathan, Lucas, and Jake were all over. She put the dish on the drying rack and walked back over to them. "Haley just called. She left for Paris," she announced, putting her phone down on the coffee table.

All of them looked surprised except for Brooke. "What? Is she crazy?" Rachel asked.

Peyton shrugged and sighed. "And she wants you to know she's sorry, Brooke."

Brooke just rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

After a moment of awkward silence, Nathan got up, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Jake asked.

"Home to go look up a flight on the next plane bound for Paris," he explained before opening the door and leaving.

Rachel quickly got up and walked out the door, following. "Nathan, wait for a minute!" she called out, just as he was about to descend the stairwell.

"Rachel, don't even try to convince me that I shouldn't go. I'm going to," he stated plainly.

She shook her head. "That's not what I wanted to say. I just wanted to tell you to be safe and…don't break Clay's face when you see him. And I want a hug," she said with a smile.

Nathan smiled and walked over to Rachel, she wrapped her arms around him. "Call me when you get to Paris. I don't care if it's at four in the morning here. I want to know that you got there," she whispered to him. He nodded in response.

Nathan was the first to pull away. "Thank you, Rachel. For everything," he said before walking away.

Rachel stood for a moment, staying for a minute later, even after she knew he was already out of the building. "This will change everything."

* * *

After one more minute, Rachel walked into the apartment again, seeing her friends all still in a state of shock.

"Is he crazy?" Peyton asked finally.

All the others shrugged. "Maybe," they all answered in unison.

"Is he really going to follow her to France? She made it really clear that she doesn't want any of us interfering with her relationship," Peyton reminded them.

"She has to know sooner or later, Peyton," Rachel told her.

Peyton sighed. "I know, but Haley's in black-out mode, and it's probably not a good idea to confront her now. I just hope that they're both okay."

There was more silence.

"Do you think that Clay was going to France with another girl?" Lucas asked suddenly.

The five thought about it for a minute. Finally, Brooke, who was silent this entire time, spoke. "I wouldn't be surprised."

Brooke couldn't bear the feeling lingering in the room anymore. She quietly gathered her things and left the room. Lucas watched her in surprise.

"Is she okay?" he asked with concern.

Rachel looked him over once. "It's something that you need to hear from Brooke," she said.

Lucas was determined to find what that was.

* * *

Nathan looked out the window again as he waited on the runway for the plane to take off. He couldn't help but feel really anxious.

But why was it exactly? And why was he doing this for Haley? She had known her for all of about two months.

As he stared out over the dark Atlantic Ocean, the only light being that which reflected off the lights of New York City lost in his own thought, he realized it reluctantly.

This was love.

And if it wasn't, he didn't know what was.

He was in love with her.

* * *

Brooke rose reluctantly from her bed, her eyes rimmed with red and puffy. She wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone at eleven at night, let alone in this state.

When she saw it was Lucas, a part of her wanted to slam the door in his face. The other wanted to invite him in and tell him everything.

She noticed that Lucas was holding a brown paper bag. "What's that?" she asked, her voice shaky and light.

"The essentials," he smiled. "Phish Food ice cream, rag mags, and a bunch of Jake Gyllenhaal movies."

Brooke succumbed to a smile. Lucas smirked in response. "I knew I could get you to finally smile."

Brooke nodded. "Thank you," she answered.

Lucas set down the bag and looked at Brooke, who avoided any and all eye contact. "Can you tell me why you got so upset?" he asked with concern. "You don't have to. I just wanted to help you feel better," he insisted.

Brooke thought for a moment before shaking her head. "I can't talk about it. It's got nothing to do with you, but…she really hit a sore spot," she explained vaguely.

Lucas nodded in acceptance. "I get it. But you can talk to me about things, Brooke. I feel like we're good friends now."

_Maybe even more than friends…hopefully._

Lucas looked around the room and turned. His hand was on the doorknob when he heard Brooke behind him.

"Can you stay with me?" she asked weakly, sweetly, and softly. It came out almost as a whisper.

Lucas stopped before turning around. He nodded and smiled at her.

Brooke turned away to get the things from the bag, a slight smile spreading across her face.

* * *

Peyton was putting away the pitcher of water. She didn't hear Jake's footsteps behind her.

"Do you need help with anything?" Jake asked.

She shook her head. "Thanks."

Both stood in silence for a moment more.

"Are you sure you want to stay alone?" he asked. Immediately, he felt a little stupid.

She shrugged. "I'm used to it, but I don't like it," she admitted. "Maybe after the baby is born, that'll change…" she thought aloud. She looked up at Jake, remembering his presence. "Can I show you something?" she asked.

He nodded.

Peyton walked away from him, making her way into her bedroom. Jake didn't follow her but heard the rustling of papers.

Peyton walked out a minute later, with a small piece of paper in her hands. She handed it reluctantly to Jake.

He took it and smiled when he saw it. "Is this—"

"That's our baby," she answered with pride.

Jake looked up at her, and it was quite obvious that she was glowing at the mere sight of the sonogram. He already knew how great of a mother she would be, and just knew that he would pale in comparison to her.

"This is amazing," he commented.

"That's your copy," she said. "I have like ten more in my room. I guess I was just hoping you would like to look at her as often as possible," she added.

Jake was surprised. "Her? Isn't it too early to know the gender?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I just always thought it was a girl. I think that it's a girl," she explained.

* * *

Nathan looked at the calling card in confusion. It had been years since he had taken high school, and reading was not his strong suit.

He just about followed along, reading how to call the United States and called Rachel.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey, Rach. It's me. I'm in France now," he answered, looking out the window of the hotel he had rented a room in. It was the first one he found a vacancy in and wasn't that far away from the airport.

He could hear her sigh in relief. "How was the flight?" she asked.

"Long and I'll probably need like a day to sleep off the jetlag. I hope I can find Haley here, somewhere. It's a big city." He sighed. "It's one in the afternoon and I'm exhausted."

"I know, but you have to hold out until ten, at least, or you'll never get over it. And it's the city of love. That means that lovers are bound to meet by fate," she said with a smile.

He was too tired to make a comeback. "Listen, I'll have to call you later, Rachel. I have to look out for Haley."

"Okay. I'll let you go. Just let me know when you find her."

With that, the conversation ended. Nathan stared up, wondering where to begin, and enjoying the feel of the soft sheets. The hotel he had to stay at was really expensive. He wasn't complaining about the room, though. It was beautiful.

What was supposed to be five minutes of resting turned into a nap which lasted until four.

He groaned once he saw how long he had taken a nap. His phone rang, almost on cue.

"Hello?" he answered without looking at the I.D.

"Hey, Nathan. It's me, Rachel," Rachel responded. "I just wanted to tell you that Peyton spoke to Haley and she gave me the address of the hotel she's staying at," she informed him.

"Really? Great! What is it?" he asked eagerly.

"It's the Hotel Paris France. The address is 72 rue de Turbigo," she said.

He looked at the guest book sitting on the desk and saw the same name on it. "That's the hotel I'm staying at," he answered.

There was silence for a split second. "I guess that fate is already working away," she murmured.

"Did Peyton give you the room number?" Nathan asked, ignoring her comment.

"Room 721."

"Thanks, Rachel," he answered before hanging up.

* * *

Haley walked into the hotel room of the hotel she had found last minute at five in the morning. It was so beautiful, she knew despite her sleep-walking. There was a balcony overlooking the streets and it was beautiful. But she just couldn't enjoy the moment.

It was because she had always pictured herself being in Paris, spending the days, with someone she truly loved. And Clay wasn't there. Why should she be happy?

She fell back onto the bed with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. Before she knew it, her eyes were closed and she had fallen asleep.

Now, she woke up to knocking on her door at a quarter past four in the afternoon. Haley couldn't believe that she actually slept for eleven hours, but then again, she hadn't gotten much sleep.

She opened up the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She felt as though they were deceiving her. The person she saw couldn't possibly be there.

"Nathan?" she asked in confusion. "What are you doing in Paris?" she asked.

"I came here because of you," he answered.

Haley shook her head, not knowing what to say. She yawned. "Come inside," she insisted.

Nathan came in reluctantly. He looked around, noting that this room looked like his, but darker. Haley had the curtains drawn closed, and there was a dark vibe filling the room.

"How did you even manage to find me?" she asked, not even trying to stifle another yawn as she sat down on the bed.

"A little bird told me where you were," he replied.

She nodded. "It was Peyton."

"Sort of."

She sighed. "Why are you here, though? Because of me, I know, but more specifically. Why?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "I just didn't feel right leaving things where they were. I needed you to know that I wasn't trying to be an ass," he explained.

She scoffed. "You didn't have to follow me to France to say that."

"But I did."

He waited for a reaction. When she didn't have one, he continued. "I wanted to make sure that you're okay. I know about Clay cheating on you," he informed her.

Haley sighed and rose. She looked quite agitated as she paced back and forth. "What I need for you and all of my friends to understand is that I'm a grown woman. I'm nineteen! I don't need you or anyone else to tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't need a bodyguard; I need a friend." She sighed, bowing her head. "I was so excited when I met you, Nathan. I was hoping…finally…maybe I could actually have a friend who doesn't mock the person I'm in love with right in front of me. I just wanted to talk to someone, no judgment. I finally got that from you. But then, our friends started bringing you into this, and now you're turning into them." She sighed, aggravated. "I wanted one damn thing. I can't even get that," she said before sitting on the bed.

Nathan stared at her. "Haley, I'm here and all of your friends are here because he doesn't love you. I'm your friend and I'll tell you exactly how I see it. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything to make you feel better. In the end, you're the only person who's going to get hurt. Clay doesn't love you. And you don't love him, either. You think you do, but you know that there's someone better out there, but you're too scared to take that risk." He paused, looking her over. "Love is about taking the risk. Love is about doing things you normally wouldn't do. You need to step out of your comfort zone and look for something better," he insisted.

"What If I can't find anything better?" she asked meekly, the anger drained out of her voice, replaced with uncertainty.

"You can. I know you can. You're an amazing person, and anybody would be lucky to have you."

When Nathan said this, he looked down at his feet. He knew that looking at Haley would give him away immediately, knowing she was studying him meticulously.

"You deserve better than a boy who's going to cheat on you. You're sweet and beautiful and funny…" he began, stopping himself before he got carried away.

She was silent for a minute, trying to decipher whether or not he was lying. "Really?" she asked quietly. Clay never thought she was funny. Sometimes she even felt he thought of her as annoying.

Nathan nodded, looking up at Haley and biting his lip. Haley broke the eye contact this time.

"I need to find Clay. I need to set things straight," she announced. She felt a pit in her stomach and became nauseated.

She just wanted this all to be over with.

* * *

Brooke looked around the room, unenthused by the whole scene. Peyton groaned when she realized she was the only one doing actual work.

"Brooke. A little help here?" Peyton asked.

Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes, obliging reluctantly. "Honestly, Peyton, I don't care anymore. I don't even know why I should be saving Haley's ass when she doesn't even care," she fumed quietly.

Peyton looked sadly at her friend, sitting down on the couch, observing her. "You know that's not true. We're both Haley's best friends."

"A best friend wouldn't say something like that, Peyton! I was just beginning to feel good about myself again, and when she said that, it was like everything I had worked for was gone," Brooke sighed, sitting next to Peyton.

Peyton rubbed Brooke's back soothingly. "I know that what happened made you really upset. But Haley was there while you were grieving. Obviously, she cares," she insinuated.

Brooke was silent as she looked at the chip in her yellow nail polish. Peyton sighed, looking around. "Come on, Brooke. We'd better get to work."

Peyton got up and walked up to the stairs. After a moment of hesitation and a sigh, Brooke followed.

Peyton opened up Clay's office and looked for something, anything. Brooke looked on his memo pad and found something. "Peyton!" she exclaimed.

Peyton looked at where Brooke's yellow painted fingernail was pointing and her eyes lit up. "Is that a phone number?" she asked curiously.

Brooke smirked mischievously. "I don't think that's just any phone number." Brooke quickly pulled out her phone and began to dial the number. When she heard an answer, she quickly handed the phone off to Peyton, who reacted with surprise.

"Helloooo?" the woman on the other line asked.

"Um, hello. I was just calling to ask if you know Clay Evans?" Peyton asked, not knowing what else to say. Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes. Peyton rolled her eyes at Brooke's reaction.

There was a cocky laugh on the other end. "I wouldn't just say know him. We were practically dating," she said.

Peyton's heart sunk for Haley. "I'm Clay's sister. He's mentioned a lot about you, and I was just looking around his office, and I figured you could help me. His birthday is coming up and I could really use some help planning this party for him," she lied. Brooke silently applauded Peyton's save.

"Sure. I could help you out."

"Can we meet at one at Marcello's in Tree Hill?" Peyton asked hopefully.

"That works for me," she said.

Peyton smiled as she hung up. "She bought it. Hook, line, and sinker."

* * *

Haley was completing a crossword as she and Nathan finished having dinner at a French café. Nathan observed Haley as she filled in the final letter.

"You're good at those, Hales," he commented.

She nodded, not looking up.

Nathan sighed. "I know you're stressed out."

"Can you please stop acting like you know me, Nathan? You don't. We've known each other as long as Peyton's been pregnant. About six weeks," she snapped. She sighed before putting down the pen. She took a sip of coffee. "I can't do this now. I have too much going on," she murmured.

Nathan nodded, trying to understand. "I'm trying to be subjective here, Haley. What will you do if it is true?"

She tried not to snap at more of this. "I don't know. I really don't."

"Are you in denial to try and protect yourself if it is true?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she repeated.

"And what if it's not? What if we were all wrong?" he asked.

Haley looked down at the floor. "Then I don't know." She sighed. "Everyone thinks that I'll be so relieved if I find out that it was all a misunderstanding, but it's already nearly destroyed my trust."

_And maybe it's already destroyed my life._

Nathan stared at her, thinking about it.

He changed the subject from the potential future to the present. "Do you know where Clay is staying?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I know he's in this hotel; that's why I booked it. But I don't know what room he's in. I'm going to go find him tomorrow; I'm exhausted today."

He nodded in agreement. "I haven't slept in over thirty-six hours," he admitted.

She nodded. "You should probably go."

* * *

While the two were talking, they didn't even notice that a tall, lithe blonde walked up to Peyton. She had jaded, yet sparkling green eyes. Her hair was a honey colour and very full lips. She almost looked like the anti-Haley. Peyton found it sort of ironic.

"Are you Clay's sister?" she asked.

Peyton didn't do anything except biting her lip. "I think we need to have a conversation. About Clay," she explained.

The girl sat down with a look of curiosity mixed with nervousness. "What about him?" the woman inquired.

"Do you consider him your boyfriend?" Peyton asked cautiously.

The woman laughed dryly. "Not that I think it's any of your business, but yes, I do. We've been seeing each other for about two months," the woman guessed.

"Did you know that you're the other woman?" she asked quickly.

The woman's face changed dramatically. She wasn't angry but confused. "That can't be true," she replied.

Peyton sighed. "He's a scumbag, but he has a fiancé."

"A fiancé?" the woman asked, her voice raising an octave. "He wasn't wearing a ring…he never looked like a man who was hiding something," she said, the sadness evident in her voice.

Peyton frowned. She realized that the only person who wasn't in the dark was Clay. Haley was being played, as was this girl, and who knows how many others?

"Are you…are you his…fiancé?" the girl choked out.

Peyton shook her head. "My best friend Haley…she's Clay's fiancé. And she's still in denial."

The woman closed her eyes and pressed her palm against his forehead. "I can't believe it. I'm the other woman. I could've ruined their whole relationship—"

Peyton stopped her quickly. "It's not your fault. You never knew. I'm sure Haley would understand. You know, if she realized what a bastard her fiancé is. But it's not your fault," she said.

The woman finally came to terms and nodded.

* * *

"So you've seen Clay here before? Hitting on girls?" Brooke asked, some disgust in her voice.

Evelyn nodded. "More than a healthy amount. He even tried hitting on me a few times. If it wouldn't get me fired, I would've to spit in that ass's face. Lucky me, I found a guy who's not a complete idiot," she said with a small laugh.

Brooke smiled. "It's good to know things are working out for at least one person. And you'd better hold onto him and never let him go," she told Evelyn.

Evelyn nodded. "Trust me, I will not let him slip through my fingers. But I don't think I'll have to worry. I found a Tiffany box when I was putting away the laundry buried in his sock drawer," she explained.

Brooke's smile expanded at the thought of a wedding. "Wow. Congratulations! That's amazing."

Evelyn laughed out of happiness. "I know I probably shouldn't be so happy. I mean, he hasn't even proposed and every other relationship seems to be falling apart. I want for Nathan and Haley to realize that they're right for each other. I don't know if you've seen it, but whenever someone mentioned Haley and Nathan was in the room…he just lit up. Like something awesome was happening at that very moment. I think it's love. If it's not…I don't know what is," Evelyn explained before she got back to the other customers.

Brooke thought about that statement for a moment.

_I think it's love._

* * *

Haley raised her hand to knock on the door. She looked back. Nathan ushered her on. He was to stay outside if and when Clay answered the door. He was going to wait for her.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knocked lightly on the door. After a moment more of waiting, she knocked again. Nathan leaned against the wall, where he knew Clay wouldn't see him.

A moment later, the door opened up. Haley looked at Clay, who was standing, shirtless, and obviously just out of the shower.

"Haley?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice.

"Can I come in?" she inquired weakly.

Nathan watched as Haley walked in, abandoning him completely. He sighed as he looked down at the floor. He would always be a second choice.

* * *

Inside, Haley brushed past Clay. She saw the dishevelled sheets and a bucket of champagne. She felt a pit at her stomach.

"So it's true?" she said, the energy drained out of her voice.

"What?" Clay inquired from behind.

Haley turned and faced him. "Just tell me if it is. I don't want any superfluous story or anything. Are you cheating on me?"

Clay looked her straight in the eye and said, "No. Why would you think that, Hales?"

Haley breathed out, looking back at the room. It still looked a little suspicious. "Why do you have a bucket of champagne?" she asked. She knew it was a typical romantic drink.

"They gave it to me with the room. Don't ask me why Hales. We're in France, after all. Did you come all the way here to ask me that?" he asked.

She faced him again. She grabbed his hands. "No, of course not," she lied. "I came because I wanted to surprise you. And I have a surprise of my own." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie. She went for those additional reasons, as well. "I trust you," she assured him as she saw his skeptical look.

He smiled. He gave her a peck on the lips and sent Haley on her way. "We can have lunch together. I have a dinner meeting," he informed her.

"Okay. Can I come back in like an hour?"

"I'll just text you the restaurant and we can meet there," he corrected.

Haley walked out of the room, not even noticing Nathan's presence. Clay's face dropped as he saw him. Haley simply walked away, leaving them alone.

Clay shot Nathan a steely glare. "She didn't tell me that she brought a mutt with her," he sneered.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "She didn't tell me that she was engaged to an ass," he retorted.

Clay narrowed his eyes. Nathan stood up, getting off the wall. "Can I talk to you?" he asked.

Seeing no viable reason to say no, Clay allowed Nathan into his hotel room. He closed the door behind him.

"Why are you cheating on her? Is it because you don't like her body? Is it because you don't think she's good in bed? What is it?" Nathan asked. He caught Clay off guard. Honestly, he caught himself off guard, too.

"It's not really any of that. It's just sex. It's nothing personal," he explained.

Nathan felt himself getting more and more disgusted each passing second. "How can you say that? She's making a life commitment to you and you're betraying it. And for what? Just sex," he scoffed.

"Listen, it's not your life. I don't expect you to understand," Clay said.

"What I understand is that you're an ass. And you don't deserve Haley. She deserves so much better than you. She deserves someone that's not going to lie to her or cheat on her."

Clay rolled his eyes. "And who do you think that'll be? You?" He began to laugh evilly, making Nathan feel small. "She's so out of your league. The two of you aren't even in the same stratosphere. Haley comes from money and class. She's not going to settle for _you_. She's used to having a comfortable lifestyle and everything handed to her. She can never get that from you," he explained.

Nathan sighed. "Do you even love her? Just tell me, because whatever I say to her doesn't go through to her brain."

"Marriage doesn't have to be about love. It's all just a business transaction. That's all it is. People like you and Haley are so naïve, believing that everyone will get that happy storybook ending as you see in the movies. Love is just a state of mind. It doesn't exist."

At that moment, even though he was completely disgusted by Clay's character and morals, Nathan felt bad for him. He didn't even believe in love. "You're wrong."

Nathan proceeded to leave. He stopped as he opened the door. "And tell your French whore that I said bonjour," he said.

Clay rolled his eyes as a skinny brunette walked out of the bathroom, where she had been for the last two conversations. "French whore?" she questioned.

* * *

"He paid a _hooker _to have sex with him and lied about it?" Rachel asked incredulously as Nathan sat at the table in his room.

"Yes. And then he hid her in the bathroom for until after Haley and I were gone. I guess he wanted some afternoon delight," Nathan explained over the phone.

He heard Rachel gag over the phone and had to stifle a laugh. "Don't even let me think about it," she said.

"Rach, as much as I want to hate him, I feel kind of bad for him. He doesn't believe in love. He just believes in sex and thinks that marriage is a business deal," he explained.

Rachel whimpered at the idea. "That's kind of sad, but he's still a jerk."

Nathan glanced down again at what he was drawing. It was a white and purple orchid on some brown paper. He kept thinking of them and didn't understand why. He also kept thinking of pink hibiscus flowers.

"I've got to go to sleep, as I'm trying to wash out the image of Lucas and Brooke eye-sexing, but I can't shake it. I think I have to take a bottle of cough syrup and a horse tranquillizer. Maybe that'll do the trick," she joked dryly.

"Sounds like a plan. Bye Rachel. Be careful with that horse tranquillizer!" he teased. She laughed and hung up.

He hoped repeatedly that Haley would be okay.

* * *

Brooke, Lucas, Peyton, and Jake were all sitting in Brooke's living room, eating Thai food. There was an elephant in the room, and all four of them knew what it was.

"Do you guys want dessert?" Brooke inquired, being a good hostess.

There were scattered head shakes and "no's". Brooke leaned back in her spot.

"I think that I'd better get going. I've been really tired lately. You know, with the baby and all," Peyton explained, getting up.

Jake followed. "I'll help you home," he said.

"I can open my own door," Peyton argued.

"We can go home together, then. I want to call it a night, too," he explained.

Peyton simply shrugged it off as she and Jake both left the room. Brooke and Lucas watched them go. Brooke quickly got up and began gathering things and cleaning.

"Can I help?" Lucas asked.

Brooke shook her head. "I'm fine," she insisted. She simply put the dishes in the dishwasher and sat back down with a sigh.

"Brooke, I need to ask you something. Where are we?" he inquired.

"What do you mean? We're in my living room, which is in my apartment, which is in my apartment complex, which is in Tree Hill, which is in the United States of America, which is on Earth, which is in the solar system, which is in the Milky Way, which is—"

"I wasn't talking about that," Lucas said, cutting her off.

She knew that. She was just buying time. She looked down at the carpet, playing with it. "I don't know. I like you, but…I feel dirty doing anything with anyone else," she explained.

"Why?" He could read the look on Brooke's face. She looked scared. "You can trust me."

Brooke looked up. She wasn't distrusting of him but distrusting of herself. She quickly turned to change the subject. "I think that Haley and Nathan are being ridiculous. They love each other. I can't see why Haley can't just drop her deadbeat boyfriend and move onto better, more muscular things," Brooke said, putting the façade back up that she was a girl who didn't really care about what happened before. He knew that wasn't true. Lucas sighed.

"Brooke, you can confide in me—" he began.

"Can you please just drop it? I'm sorry, Luke, but I'll tell you," she exclaimed. "Eventually," she added quietly.

* * *

Haley walked into Nathan's hotel room with a box of croissants and two coffees (hers was extra strong).

"French Roast, two sugars and a splash of milk and a chocolate croissant," Haley announced. "How did I do?" she asked.

"Good. But you got the regular napkins instead of the biodegradable ones," he jested.

She rolled her eyes. "Shoot me," she teased.

Nathan laughed. Haley sighed as she sat down on the bed with her coffee, which Nathan knew was black. The notion of drinking something so bitter made Nathan want to gag, but he didn't show it.

He sat down at the table, while Haley brought her legs to sit cross-legged on his bed. She sighed in delight.

"Honestly, Nathan, I don't know what you all—and I—were so worried about. Clay is fine. He's never done anything bad," she shrugged.

Nathan looked at her sadly, thinking to himself that she was already in too deep. "Is he still hitting you?" he asked cautiously.

She paused for a minute, breaking eye contact. "It was one time. He was extremely drunk. It hasn't happened since," she explained.

"I know that's a lie."

Haley hung her head. "What am I supposed to say? It hasn't happened in a while. He got aggravated. It didn't mean anything," she insisted.

"That's what everyone says. And then those women end up running away. They don't even know where, but once other people realize there's something wrong, and only after they realize their children are in danger, they run. I don't want you to be that girl, Haley. You have so much going for you. You're young, you're beautiful, and you're smart. Maybe you're a little naïve, but you're still incredibly insightful, sometimes I think without you even realizing it. But right now, you seem jaded. You seem…different when you talk about Clay. You seem tired and defeated. You seem like you're trying to prove something, to him, to your friends, to yourself. And I hate seeing you like that. You shouldn't have to try with love. It should just…happen," he said with a shrug.

She sighed, the agitation clear on her face. "I keep feeling like I have something to prove because of none of my friends like him. And I love him. What are you supposed to do when the people you care about most in the world seem to hate each other? I can't control who I fall in love with. It happened by accident," she stated plainly.

"I don't want to argue about this," he muttered. He looked outside the window. "Have you gone sightseeing since you've been here?"

"Clay and I went to the Eiffel Tower yesterday," Haley answered brightly.

_Somebody should've pushed him off._

Instead of saying that, Nathan faked a smile. "It must've been cool. I heard it looks amazing at night, with all the lights," he said.

She nodded. "I can see it from my window, off in the distance. It looks beautiful," she agreed.

Nathan smiled but really wasn't sure how many more conversations like this he could take. It was exhausting, holding such a deep, heartfelt secret. His heart was breaking slowly and he knew that Spencer's would likely crumble as well.

* * *

"Pick up, damn it! I spent good money I could've used on shoes on this calling card and I'm already pissed at you, you—"

Before Brooke could continue her rant, Haley answered.

"Brooke?" Haley asked weakly, surprised.

Brooke noted that she sounded very tired. Glancing at the clock, she suddenly realized that it was 2 AM in Paris and that she likely interrupted Haley's religious sleep schedule.

"Hi. Can we talk? I have like three hours on this card and all the time in the world," Brooke said.

Haley breathed a sigh of relief that Brooke was actually speaking to her. "Of course," she answered gently.

"You need to listen to me, and I swear, if you make one lame-ass excuse for Clay, I will hang up this phone and I won't call back."

Haley sighed, but said, "Go on."

"Alright, so Peyton and I found a phone number in Clay's office—" Brooke began.

"What were you doing in his office?" Haley interrupted. Frankly, she didn't even remember giving Brooke or Peyton a key.

"Haley," Brooke said in a warning tone.

Haley quickly clamped her mouth shut. "Sorry."

Brooke sighed and began her story over. "Anyway, we found a number in his office. Peyton called it, and we met with this girl. I don't remember her name. It started with a B…Britney, Bailey, Becca I don't know. Anyway, she was Clays's girlfriend. A _girlfriend, _Haley. She didn't even know about you. She was seeing Clay for two months. How can you deny that? And the bartender at this bar, Evelyn, one of Rachel's friends from New York, said that she's seen him there with a bunch of girls, and he even tried hitting on her," she said.

Haley was speechless. She didn't want to lose Brooke, but she didn't want to believe her, either. "I don't know what to do, or what to say, Brooke," she explained.

"Say, I'm sorry, but I'm not, take back your giant ring!" Brooke exclaimed.

"It's not that easy, Brooke," she said.

"Well, what's so difficult?" an agitated Brooke asked.

Haley fidgeted for a moment. "There's a lot more that you don't know about," she mumbled.

"Haley, I am one of your best friends. I know that you're insecure, and you feel like this will be your last chance. Wake up. You're freaking nineteen! You have your entire life ahead of you, and in case you haven't noticed, you have an insanely gorgeous guy who I'm sure wants to be the one to love you more that wants nothing other than you. And even if you don't think Nathan's the one, don't you think you can do better than Clay? He's scum at the bottom of your shoe. You can do better. Way better. You're gorgeous. You're smart. You're amazing. Haley, I don't want you to live your life unhappily. Everybody who is telling you that you can do better is doing it because they care about you. We all know you're going to be unhappy. You've never been the woman to want to stay in the house, barefoot and pregnant, while your husband has a hundred different mistresses. Why are you that girl now? What has he done to you?"

_What has he done to me?_

* * *

"You do realize that bringing a pregnant woman out this late at night is a bad idea, right?" Peyton asked.

"Can you just get into it a little, Peyton? Tonight, you're not pregnant or anything. You're not dealing with Haley and Clay. You're not acting like a mother. You're just being Peyton. You're just having fun while you still can," Jake reminded her.

Peyton found it intriguing how he made her feel completely different from everyone else. She just felt more carefree and loose when she was around him. Nothing really mattered, and she was content with that.

She dug her spoon deep into the remnants of the sundae she had gotten. "I want to, but I'm just really scared. Children are expensive, and I'm not sure that my parents will be pleased or very supporting of this entire situation," she said, looking into the paper cup.

"Peyton, I don't want you to worry. I'm going to help you. I don't want to be a deadbeat father," he explained. He sighed. "Can we stop talking about this? I feel like if we're going to be raising a child together, we should at least know each other in more depth," he reminded her.

She nodded. "You're right; you're right. It's just been on my mind. I'm sorry," she apologized.

'You don't have to apologize. It's an awkward situation for both of us," he informed her.

She tried to find the light. "I'm glad that if I have to have a baby, at least you're the father," she said with a weak smile.

"Hey, we're in this together," he reminded her, taking her hand.

She had to smile at this.

Once they finished, both of them walked back to their apartment complex, arriving at Peyton's apartment first.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," she sighed.

"Can I give you a goodnight kiss?" he asked shyly.

She nodded, biting her lip.

Slowly, and very tenderly, they embraced. The kiss left Peyton wanting more, but she realized, given the current circumstance, it probably wasn't a good idea.

"Goodnight," she said, before opening her door and walking inside.

Jake smiled as he walked away. He went to sleep easily that night.

* * *

Nathan wished he could say the same for himself. He spent a majority of the night tossing and turning, switching pillows, flipping them over, switching sides of the bed, and eventually pacing back and forth on the floor, looking out the window. He glanced at the clock, seeing it was past 3 AM, and he surely had to go to sleep sometime soon.

As much as he mentally tried to persuade himself into sleep, he couldn't do it. He found it impossible. He was beyond annoyed.

Why was Haley so important, anyway? Why couldn't she just be his friend? Why couldn't he talk to her without feeling like an awkward, hormonal teenage boy? Why couldn't she just be like any other girl he knew? Why couldn't they be just friends?

Because they just _couldn't_. He was sure of it, and he hated that idea. It hurt too much to love her. He wondered why he even dealt with being so heartbroken for Haley.

Because he just _had to_. Because she was _Haley James__. _Because somewhere in his heart of hearts, he wanted her to leave Clay and he wanted to be with her. It was probably one of the most selfish thoughts Nathan ever had, but he wanted her to himself. He wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces if and when it all came crumbling down for her. He wanted to be the one to hold her during the dark days, support her through the hard ones, and share with her the good ones. He wanted to be there for her no matter what. He just wanted to share everything with her.

He shook the idea out of his head. Somewhere, he had a nagging feeling telling him that she wouldn't leave her fiancé. They met at the wrong time at the wrong place, and that was just fate being horrible to him. He hated that doubt. He hated that he'd have to sit by idly and watch her move on with someone else, start a family with someone else, _love someone else._

He told himself that he was being selfish. If he truly loved her, he would want her to be happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. That was what love was—making sacrifices for the person you loved.

But did love mean that you'd sit and watch that person suffer? He worried not only for Haley's heart but also for her physical state. He was worried that one day, it would be too late to save her, and she would end up injured or worse as a result of Clay's vacillating temperament. He couldn't deal with the idea of visiting Haley in the hospital, or, even worse: her funeral.

He felt himself choking at the mere thought of it. He tried to push it out of his mind, but nothing was working.

He was starting to wonder if she really was driving him insane if that were actually possible. He felt like he was making up both sides of the conversation, and internally debating with himself. That wasn't what sane people do.

Right?

He lay down in bed, sighing. After deciding that was uncomfortable, he rolled over onto his side. He just thought about Haley, until those thoughts melted into him imagining a world where Clay didn't exist, and he felt himself falling asleep.

* * *

"What brings you back so soon, Peyton?" Dr. Reynolds asked as she walked into the room. Brooke was sitting in a seat, examining the odd models and pictures around the room. Peyton was sitting on the patient's chair.

"I've been bleeding these last few days, and I just wanted to know if that's okay. I know that if it's a bad thing. I know that if you're bleeding a lot, it could be signs of a miscarriage," she said worriedly. Brooke touched Peyton's arm, subtly assuring her that it would be okay.

Dr. Reynolds furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, how much bleeding are you talking about? If it's very heavy bleeding, that's not a good sign. If it's just light amounts, it might just be spotting," she said.

Peyton thought about it for a minute, biting her lip. "More than my period…but they're usually really light," she said.

"Well, I think we should look anyway, just to be safe. I'm going to use the machine on your stomach, so the gel will probably feel a little cold," Dr. Reynolds warned, not that Peyton seemed to mind.

Within a few seconds, they saw a fetus on the screen, and Peyton breathed a sigh of relief, as did Brooke and Dr. Reynolds.

"Nothing serious. You're probably just experiencing some light spotting," she said.

Brooke piped up. "Let's say Peyton never told me about her being pregnant. Are there some tell-tale signs that I could use to figure out if someone's pregnant?" she asked.

"Some typical symptoms include mood swings, eating things with no nutritional value, like ice, food cravings, excessive fatigue, and morning sickness. Those are the ones that someone would notice just by being around a person," Dr. Reynolds responded.

Brooke nodded.

"Are you suspecting someone you know is pregnant?" she asked.

Brooke shook her head incessantly. "Oh, no! I was just wondering. I've just been thinking a lot about Peyton being pregnant and thinking about what might've let me know earlier," she said.

Dr. Reynolds gave her a skeptical look, but Brooke nodded. Peyton looked at her in confusion.

"Anyway, it was great to see you, Dr. Reynolds, but bill Peyton because right now she's broke as a joke. Come on, P. Sawyer!" Brooke said brusquely as she dragged Peyton out of the building. It was clear Brooke was the only one in the world who had even a clue as to what she was doing.

* * *

"I can't believe you just took me to the Louvre. _And _you followed me to Paris. What is wrong with you?" Haley asked playfully.

Nathan simply smiled. He honestly didn't know why he had chosen to take her out for the day. Secretly, Nathan knew he was a masochist; a girl like Haley would likely never love a guy like him.

That wouldn't stop him from trying to make her happy, though. "Where to next, Miss James?" he asked.

"Anywhere. We're in Paris, remember? I want to enjoy everything while I've still got the chance," she explained.

_You're going to need all the joy you can get._

Nathan sighed and nodded. Ever since he admitted to himself that he _loved _Haley, he felt nothing else when they were together. Nothing crossed his mind except, _I wish that you were mine, Haley._

"I think I'm kind of hungry, Nathan. What about you?" she asked.

He shrugged. He really wasn't hungry, but he'd use whatever excuse he could get to stick around for a while. "I think there's a café like two blocks from the hotel. We could go there," he suggested.

She smiled. "Sounds like a good idea."

* * *

Half an hour later, they were sitting in the café. Haley stared out the window. It had started to rain, but Haley was still quite content, even though she was positive she and Nathan would get soaked on the walk back to the hotel.

"Have you spoken to Clay since you went sightseeing?" he asked.

She shook her head. "He's been busy with work."

Nathan nodded but wondered whether this vacation was to get away from Haley and spend time with someone else, or if it really was for work. He assumed the former.

"Nathan? Haley's soft voice snapped Nathan out of his reverie. "I just wanted to say thank you for being so great about this. I know you, along with all of my friends, don't really like Clay and I know what you think of him. But you aren't so blatantly rude about it. And it's really nice to have someone who can actually tolerate him."

_Just barely._

Nathan simply nodded, not broadcasting his thoughts. Then, he spoke. "I know what I think about him. What do you think of him, Hales? I know you love him, but…do you think he's cheating?"

Haley broke eye contact with Nathan, looking out the window. The rain was falling in such a way that when you stepped out, it made a splash. The pavement was reflecting off the dark, gray sky. She stared at the way the raindrops, almost like full, plump tears from the sky, cascaded steadily off of people's black umbrellas. She was thinking about it, but she was really stalling for time. She didn't know how to answer that question.

"I don't know," she answered finally. "I don't want it to be true, but…I don't know. He's been so distant lately. What Brooke showed me was proof. But I still don't want to believe…" she trailed off.

"If it does happen to be true, you know that we'll all be here to support you. Me, Brooke, Peyton, Lucas; all of us."

Haley nodded, still not looking at him. "I know that. I'm really grateful for that." She stirred the coffee for the thousandth time.

Nathan wanted to ask what was on her mind but somehow knew that was probably not the greatest idea. Instead, he asked, "When are you going back?"

She shrugged. "I think I'm going to leave on Saturday. I'll look for flights today. We might as well look together since I assume that you'll want to be leaving soon," she said.

He nodded. "Sure."

Haley smiled, looking up at him. "You know, I really am sorry for what I did that day, with kicking you out. You're really sweet, and a really good friend."

_You'd probably even make a pretty good boyfriend._

Haley simply smiled, pushing any other thoughts out of her brain.

* * *

_So I think that this was a really long chapter as I had to try and copy this about seven times on Microsoft Word before it actually worked. It was a little over 8 pages long. Just a heads up the next chapter will be on the shorter side as it is I have it left off where I want it to end. _

_I will be back from my vacation with my boyfriend in about two weeks, the reason I am telling y'all this is because after these two weeks the posting and writing for this story will not be constant as I will be busy with my two jobs and those next few weeks will be hectic as I will be moving, so on top of that I will not be having any sort of internet connection for a good few days. I will try my best to find time to write and post more of these chapters on a constant basis but moving/packing is very stressful. _

_I know I left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger, but you'll find out if Haley is really that naive or if something major happens__. By the next few chapters, we'll know why Brooke is so upset and is shutting Lucas out right now. _

**_Guest:_** _I know right! LOL!_

**_naley12:_** _Thank you! I hope you enjoy this one as well._

_**Guest:** Thank you, that's honestly so sweet. I am glad you're liking how I wrote Brooke, she's one of my favourites so her dialogue comes very easily. Trust me, as the chapters progress the table will shift and so will Haley's doubts._

**_thibbs65:_** _thank you! I do as well. Nathan will always be there when it comes to Haley it's hard to watch someone you care about and at this point love to be in pain. There's no doubt in my mind that when Nathan helps Haley through whatever she is going through, that her feelings for him will intensify. Nathan and Haley (during this part of the story the flashbacks) won't be together for a long while, and during the present time as well, but I promise the wait it is worth it. You caught on a little bit during this chapter, are you a secret mind-reader? I promise you she isn't as naive as she seems in the chapter, and I know Haley didn't necessarily call Nathan to rescue you, you can himself. That's still rescuing to some degree! Naley's first kiss may be closer than we think! _

_**sandygirl:** Thank you, I do as well. Haley was a bitch to Brooke, but in her defence, she had just been confronted by both Brooke and Nathan that her fiancé has been cheating on her and she was upset by these "allegations" rightfully so. She knew what Brooke was saying was true, and she lashed out and said something hurtful back to feel her pain. Bad judge of character? Absolutely. Not the best tactic, but they will make soon! they can't be mad at each other for too long, they both are like peas in a pod. _

**_dianehermans:_** _I know right! I love that Jake is willing to help Peyton through her pregnancy, and stepped up and became a father, it's not easy for 19-year-old boys to do. _

**_Guest:_**_ thank you!_

**_Guest:_**_ All I can say is that you're on to something, and clearly headed in the right path. I will say this though, Clay is not necessarily a bad guy, he's done some inexcusable mistakes but he's flawed like the rest of us, and it sucks to see him be this way when his relationship with Haley obviously means a lot to him, despite not being in love with her. Clay has a hard time showing his emotions and opening up again. It's not easy, and when Haley came along he thought nothing better could happen to him so he settled and decided to ask her to marry him, and we know the rest. I thought we could use a bit of empathy for him, especially as the story and chapter progress._

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time! __**-Sidney**_


	6. Chapter 6

_"There's no shame in being afraid. Hell, we're all afraid. What you gotta do is figure out what you're afraid of because when you put a face on it, you can beat it. Better yet, you can use it."_

_-Whitey Durham_

* * *

_**A/N:** I really want you guys to read this chapter. It's the one with the long-awaited Caley Breakup. Thank you all for your reviews the last chapter, appreciate them!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**May 20, 2006**

"What are you doing today, Haley?" Peyton asked.

Haley smiled, though she knew Peyton couldn't see her. She slid in some diamond earrings. "I'm meeting with Clay for dinner. He was free, and I haven't even spent that much time with him. I mean, we're in the city of love, and I've been spending more time with Nathan," she said.

Peyton gave a spurious laugh. _I wonder why that is…_ "Well, where are you going?" she asked.

Haley shrugged. "Some fancy French restaurant. It has your name all over it," she teased.

"Yeah, okay. I don't even know French. It's like your second tongue, Haley."

"It _is. _Well, that is, if you're using 'tongue' to describe a language. Otherwise, I don't know," she said simply.

"You're a nerd, and I love you for it. So everything is going well between you two?" Peyton inquired cautiously.

Haley rolled her eyes. "He's not here to screw with some other girl if that's what you mean," she snapped.

_Oh, well…you'd be surprised. _Peyton and Rachel had spoken, and Peyton was well aware of what Nathan saw in the hotel room. Even though she thought Nathan should've told her about the girl in his room, she, too, knew it was no use; Haley would never believe him.

"That wasn't what I was asking. I was just wondering if things were all warm and fuzzy between you guys. You know what I mean," Peyton insinuated suggestively.

Haley shrugged. "It's been fine. Nothing extremely romantic or out of the ordinary. It was just…me coming to check up on him," she explained.

"Whatever, Hales. Have fun with Clay tonight. Don't do anything that Brooke wouldn't do," Peyton said.

Haley laughed. "That's not a lot of things, Peyt."

"Alright, fine. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she said.

"You're the one who had a drunken one-night stand which resulted in a pregnancy. I know I'm not doing that."

"There are worse things I could do," Peyton replied sheepishly.

"I've got to go. Bye, Peyton, Haley said before hanging up.

* * *

Nathan had just gotten out of the shower when he heard a knock on the door. He wrapped the towel around his waist, expecting it to be the hotel staff or someone like that. He could've turned beet red when he saw who it was at the door.

"Haley! What are you doing here?" he asked, trying his hardest to keep the alarm out of his voice, but failing.  
Luckily, Haley didn't seem to notice. She was, in fact, enjoying the view. Nathan couldn't say that his was too bad, either. She looked stunning. Well, she always was, even when she wasn't trying.

"I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I wouldn't be in my room tonight. I'm going out with Clay. And don't wait up, okay?" she asked.

He nodded, wanting her to just go away. His towel suddenly felt extremely insecure, and the last thing he needed was it falling. Right now.

Lucky for him, Haley waltzed away, however, she had the image embedded in her mind. Nathan couldn't close the door quickly enough. He leaned against it, as if Haley would attempt to come back in. He wanted her to.

No, he didn't want her to.

Ugh, he was so confused. He sighed and sat down, seeing what shows he could watch in French that he might have a chance at understanding; his French from high school was a little hazy, but he _was _in French IV, so he was pretty advanced.

* * *

Haley sat down across from Clay. Suddenly, she didn't really want to be there at all; she didn't want to be in Paris, nor in this restaurant, nor with Clay. She felt _obligated _to be there.

She got the impression that this feeling couldn't be shaken.

She pressed on a smile anyway and glanced down at the ring on her finger. Suddenly, it didn't seem so sparkly, or so special.

She was falling out of love with Clay.

There was no working around it—she was. Things wouldn't—no, couldn't—ever be the same.

She would grin and bear it, but she suddenly knew what Brooke was saying when she said that she would be unhappy. She was unhappy. But as long as Clay didn't give her a reason to leave, she had to stick it out. For everyone's sake.

She sighed as she put down the glass of wine. She really didn't drink it but kept picking it up and putting it back down. She ran her finger around the rim of the crystal glass, making it sound.

"Haley, can you stop? The sound is irritating," Clay complained.

Haley put her hand back down on the table. "Sorry."

He shrugged it off. He took Haley's hand, the one with the finger trapped in the expensive sign of his affection. "Can we talk about wedding planning? We've sort of pushed it aside, and I wanted to talk about it," he said with a smile.

She nodded. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Where we're going to have it? What we're going to do? The honeymoon?" he asked with a smirk.

Haley rolled her eyes at him, portraying it as a good-natured eye roll, but she was truly sort of annoyed. "Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"Where do you want to go? I wanted to go on a cruise. Or to someplace far, far away. So we could escape from Tree Hill for a while," he suggested.

She shrugged. "Anyplace is fine with me. Though I like the idea of a cruise," she answered.

He smiled. "Then, that's what we should do. I love that idea," he answered.

Once again, Haley faked a smile. She reached out for the wine, but put it back, reaching instead for water. What she really needed at the moment was vodka, but knew it probably wasn't a good idea.

* * *

About an hour later, after Clay attempted to woo Haley (the attempts were unsuccessful), the two walked back to the hotel.

Haley looked up at the stars, which managed to look bright and beautiful. The moon, which was shaped perfectly into a crescent, looked picturesque and illuminated Haley's fair face.

"You look beautiful in the moonlight," Clay commented quietly.

She couldn't help but try and contain a blush. It was Clay acting like this that made her fall in love with him. Haley remembered.

"I know we haven't gotten any real alone time except for tonight, but do you want to come over to my room tonight, Hales?" Clay asked.

Haley looked up at him. She nodded. "Just let me change into something a little more comfortable, okay?" she asked. Clay nodded.

Once they were off the lift and parted ways, Haley going to the seventh floor and Clay getting off at the fifth, Haley made a dash towards her door. She quickly took off everything she was wearing and changed into something _much _more comfortable. She threw a silk bathrobe on over it. She reluctantly took her phone with her and ran back outside. She got a phone call from Clay.

"Haley? Can you come over in like half an hour? I need to go get something from the store," he told her.

"What is it?" she asked, a little disappointed.

"What do you think?" he countered. Haley could sense the smirk on his face.

Haley heard the line go dead. She was about to re-enter her room but realized that in her haste, she forgot the key inside. So she decided to go over Nathan's.

She knocked reluctantly on the door. Nathan opened up (and, lucky for Haley, not wearing a shirt…though, he was wearing pants this time. He looked about ready for bed), surprised to see Haley.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with Clay," he said.

"I'm technically still on a date with him, but he had to get something and I locked myself out of my room," she explained, inviting herself into his room. She sat down on the seat in his room.

"But why are you here?" he asked.

"Where else am I supposed to go?"

He shrugged. "You could tell the front desk that you lost your room key and that you're Clay's wife. They'd give you another one. It's not really a lie; you're about to be his wife," he suggested.

She frowned. "I doubt that would work. Why? Did you want to make a phone call to some hot girl that you picked up in a bar while I was out?" she teased.

"No. It's just a suggestion," he said, shrugging it off.

"Whatever. I'll just go."

With that, Haley stormed out of the room. Nathan rolled his eyes. Women could be so difficult sometimes. He tossed on a shirt and followed Haley. As he reached the end of the door, he saw that the elevator doors had already closed. He decided it would be faster to just go down the stairs. That meant he had to run all the way back down the hall and run down six flights of steps. By the time he got down, Haley was already talking to the woman at the desk. Nathan caught up to her.

Haley was already walking towards the elevator.

"I'm sorry I made you mad, Haley. But I was just insinuating—"

"It doesn't matter, Nathan," she said, cutting him off. _No, it really doesn't. Right? _"I'll just hang out with my fiancé. You're right. Besides, I've spent most of this week with you instead of him. And I came here to be with _him_. So thank you for giving me that push," she said.

She walked into the elevator, and found herself in an enclosed space with him, subject to his questions. Still, they were both silent the entire ride up. Nathan found it uncomfortable while Haley found it relaxing.

Haley stepped out when they arrived at the floor, eagerly getting into Clay's room. Nathan was right on her heels and saw what made Haley stop dead in her tracks.

Inside of Clay's room was a woman, wearing only one of Clays's dress shirts. Haley couldn't find out this way. She dropped everything in her hands, staring at the girl, who was preening herself in the mirror.

"Haley—" Nathan began. Before he could choke out anymore, Haley was already dashing away, running down the stairs. She had thrown the ring on her finger into oblivion. Nathan saw that it hit the other girl. If it wasn't such a sombre moment, he would've laughed at the girl's reaction.

He chased Haley down the hall and down the stairs, racing after her into the street and into the rain.

Haley quickly broke down in a dark alleyway, surrounded by germs and dirt and filth. She didn't really care. She was so mad, and she couldn't believe how stupid she was. Why couldn't she have heeded to her friends' warnings? Why couldn't she have just cut him off when she began to fall out of love with him? Why did it have to end like this?

She began to sob uncontrollably, hearing someone walk up to her and sit beside her, but not bothering to look up. She already knew it was Nathan. It was always Nathan. He was always there next to her for everything.

"I can't believe they were all right…" she trailed off.

Nathan shook his head, rubbing Haley's back. "He's an ass. You deserve better than that," he insisted.

Her sobs began again, and Nathan enveloped Haley in an embrace. He hated seeing her cry more than pretty much anything in the world. He wanted to take her pain and heartbreak and give her his unconditional love in its place. But he knew that couldn't be done.

"Nathan…please tell me that it's going to be okay," she pleaded, rocking back and forth. "Tell me that…what I saw right now…wasn't real."

He took a deep breath. "I wish I could."

Hearing that, she sobbed uncontrollably. She was pretty much inconsolable. His heart was breaking as her tears fell and pressed onto his skin.

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears roll down, and the pain. She just wanted it all to be over. "Why did it have to be like this?" she asked weakly.

"Everything happens for a reason," he said, rubbing her back.

She buried her face into his shoulder. "Why did I have to fall in love with such a jerk? Why couldn't I fall for someone like you?" she asked, wanting to take back those words as soon as they came out.

He pulled back from her, looking into her eyes. Her eyes were still tear-stained and glassy from the tears, but she looked less vulnerable. He rubbed her shoulder.

"Nathan, I—"

Without thinking, Nathan silenced her with his lips. He was surprised to feel her kiss him back. She liked the feeling of his lips, soft as a feather on hers, and he didn't want to push too far, even if she wanted more. He liked that she knew what she wanted.

Reluctantly, Nathan pulled back, looking Haley in the eye. She stared for a moment, not sure what to say.

She sighed. "Once we're back in Tree Hill, this'll all be over, right?" she asked pessimistically.

Before Nathan could even register what she was trying to say, Haley had gotten up and gone back inside.

Haley quickly got back up the stairs and into her room. She began to cry again. This time, it was because she wanted nothing more than to be with Nathan, but she just couldn't. Not now. Maybe not ever. But Haley just wanted to know what it would feel like to be with him, even just once. It was selfish, at best, but she was heartbroken.

Reluctantly, she looked in her suitcase for something she was dreading for a while.

* * *

Haley nervously tore open a brown paper bag, taking out the test. She was just barely able to take it.

The entire three minutes she had to wait, her head was spinning. She couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. It was everything she wanted but…everything she didn't, too. She had wanted to kiss Nathan for such a long time. But she never wanted all of that to be on her mind when it happened.

It was like her worst nightmare. It was like a death sentence. Haley knew she was slowly going to deteriorate, all of her, and she would likely not love again.

But it wasn't for the reason you might think.

Haley's heart dropped thirty stories when she looked down. She had suspected it for a while, and it was the reason that she had given Clay so many chances. She didn't want it to be true, and she would've left him already, for good. If not for this one thing.

Haley looked down at the stick in her hands, a pregnancy test.

It was positive.

A mangled sob came from her throat. On what should've been one of the happiest revelations of her life, Haley felt as though the world was ending. She couldn't be pregnant with Clay's child. She couldn't be.

* * *

_So I probably did a thoroughly good job at pissing some of you off just now, but I hope things make sense now. Haley isn't stupid (a little delusional, possibly, but not a moron). _

_The next chapter will be an eight-month time jump. Just warning you now. And you finally find out Brooke's secret!. OMG!_

**_naley12:_** _Thank you! I hope you enjoy this one as well._

**_dianehermans:_** _I apologize that you did not find out Brooke's secret or for the lack of brucas this chapter. But Brooke's secret will be heavy mind you. This chapter was mainly focused on Naley, but Brooke's secret will be revealed in the next chapter. I am too! I can't wait for Haley to realize that she's better off with Nathan than Clay._

**_lalez:_** _Thank you! __I know I feel the exact same way, it breaks my heart every time he has to let Haley go into Clay's arm, and despite everything he's done, she will always love him. That is definitely a hard pill for him to swallow for sure! The reason for his toxic behaviour towards Haley will come soon enough I promise, you will understand why he treats her the way he does. I do agree that as a 21-year man he does need to own up to his mistakes and realize the pain he has caused Haley, and himself, by doing these things. He's no longer young anymore, and can't get away with cheating. I know Peyton and Jake are the sweetest, it's hard to write them in their happiness knowing what ultimately destroys their relationship. But at least we still have the happy moments to look back on, right? Like I told diane, Brooke's secret will be revealed in the next chapter, despite the heaviness. _

**_thibbs65:_** _thank you! I do as well. Nathan will always be there when it comes to Haley it's hard to watch someone you care about and at this point love to be in pain. There's no doubt in my mind that when Nathan helps Haley through whatever she is going through, that her feelings for him will intensify. I hope this chapter gave you some of what you were looking for. Thibbs, are you psychic or something? How do you know what's gonna happen in my story before it's even published? Maybe it's just that predictable. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time! __**-Sidney**_


	7. Chapter 7

_"__Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."_

_\- T.H. White_

* * *

***TRIGGER WARNING*:**

_The following chapter discusses a little bit about multiple forms of trauma that some readers may find disturbing, including, sexual assault, abuse, abandonment, and mental health. Readers discretion is advised.*_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**January 10, 2007**

Haley sat, staring at the wall. She felt so out of place, but it had become routine over the last eight months.

Before Clay even got the chance to move back from Paris, Jake, Lucas, Peyton, and Brooke had helped her move all her things into Peyton's apartment. It was pretty big (especially for one person), but Haley needed a place to stay. And she needed Peyton more than anyone at this time.

But now, of course, she didn't really need anyone. She was moving out of Peyton's apartment and into one right down the hall. She had already begun packing, and the room she was in seemed very bare and devoid of life.

She glanced down at the nail polish which was peeling off on her thumbnail.

Slowly, she rose and walked into the living room, seeing Peyton there with her daughter, Anna Elizabeth Sawyer-Jagielski, named after Peyton's adopted mom and biological mom, was a picture-perfect baby. Haley smiled. Anna was a few weeks old, but she had Peyton's huge hazel eyes and Jake's dark coloured curly hair. It seemed that the only times Haley smiled these days was when Anna was around. The rest was gloomy and horrible.

Peyton put Anna down for her nap and turned to Haley.

"Do you want to talk about this?" she asked.

"What is there to talk about?" Haley inquired blandly.

Peyton frowned. Haley had been this way ever since she lost Jamie. "Haley, I know that losing Jamie was hard for you, but have you ever thought that if you talk about it you'll feel better?" she asked.

Haley sighed and rolled her eyes. "Peyton, have you ever thought that maybe if everyone stopped treating me like a Tiffany glass and making me feel like a toddler, I might have an easier time coping?" she snapped back. Haley had become bitter and spiteful since it happened.

"Excuse me for speaking," Peyton muttered.

Haley sighed. Things had been horrible for her the last month. She hadn't seen Nathan in the last eight months, their last honest, real interaction being that awfully timed-out kiss. She hadn't seen Rachel in two or three months. She hadn't seen Brooke or Lucas in over a month. She had barely even left the apartment since losing him. She only saw Jake because he came over to play with Anna and see Peyton. Even then, Haley wasn't much for talking. She would sit out on the sun deck or in her room, reading. She had gotten back into the habit of smoking since losing him.

"Have you tried to see it from my way, Peyton? What would happen if you lost Anna?" she asked.

Peyton sighed. "Haley, I know it's hell and back for you, and I would be devastated and depressed. But smoking and cutting yourself off from everyone else is not the route to coping," she explained.

Haley sighed. "Whatever. I shouldn't have even come here."

Haley rose and walked out of the room. Peyton sighed. It was clear things could never go back to normal.

* * *

Lucas and Brooke had officially been unofficially dating for a few months now. And by that, whenever someone would talk them up at a bar, they'd politely decline, citing that they were seeing someone else, but failed to acknowledge to their friends that they had a significant other (and denied it when their friends said they were boyfriend/girlfriend).

Brooke looked at her toenails, which were just painted Barbie-pink, in contrast to her light pink nails. Lucas sat down beside her on her couch.

"I need to talk to you, Lucas," Brooke said seriously.

Lucas looked at her nervously. "Brooke, what's wrong?" he asked.

She sighed. "You know how I told you like eight months ago when Haley said that thing that made me so upset that I would tell you _why _it made me so upset?"

Not really following, he simply replied, "Um…yeah."

"I think I have to tell you now. Because…you're the first serious boyfriend I've had since Julian," she explained.

"Who is Julian?" he asked curiously.

"Julian was my ex-boyfriend. And when Haley asked if I ever knew what it felt like to be loved and want to do anything for someone, it was because I did, and it felt like she completely disregarded that relationship," she explained.

"What happened?" Lucas asked reluctantly.

She sighed. "He died. Two Decembers ago, he got into a car accident after he slipped on some black ice. He was going over the Gable Bridge in town and went right into the lake. He actually survived the initial impact but wasn't able to get out. He got hypothermia, but he was being dragged down with the car. If he didn't die of hypothermia first, he would've drowned. And the reason why it hurt so much was that I only told Haley," she trailed off. It was clear the memories were coming back to her, very uneasily.

Lucas put his hand on her arm, trying to soothe her. "Only told Haley what?"

A tear rolled down her eye, and Lucas's heart broke. "Haley was the only one that I told we had just gotten engaged when he died. We were engaged not even a week when he got into the car accident. God, she knew that I blamed myself for months after it happened! And I don't even know why! I just…I thought it was all my fault," she admitted.

Lucas reached out and hugged Brooke. She clung to him tightly. After the few initial outbreaks of tears, she simply sought his comfort.

"And even though it's been almost three years, you're the first person I've come even remotely close to dating," she admitted. "I just needed to wait for…a special person that I could actually picture moving on with. I want a relationship, not a rebound."

"Brooke—"

Brooke cut him off with a kiss to the lips. He kissed her back, wanting to be a relationship, not a rebound. Somehow, he knew that he would be the former.

* * *

Rachel knocked on the door to Nathan's apartment. She thought he wouldn't answer, though she was sure that he was there. He had been there often nowadays.

"Nate!" she called, knocking again. After a moment, she simply gave up and went to look for Nathan's hidden key, which was (predictably) hidden in a potted plant beside his door. She opened up his apartment. It was normally clean, tidy, and rather well-kept (unlike the male stereotype). Right now, it looked like a war zone, completely torn apart and fit the male stereotype perfectly; it may have been even worse.

Rachel knew he was there, somewhere. She just didn't know where. "Nathan! Where are you?" she asked impatiently, looking around.

She heard scribbling in one room. She opened up a spare room where he usually kept junk. It was actually pretty big when the junk was cleared out. Nathan was facing away from her, drawing something. Rachel saw that the walls had become plastered with paintings and drawings of flowers. She never knew Nathan to be a painter and was a little shocked when she saw such delicate and intricate drawings. They were pictures of pink and white hibiscus flowers, purple and white orchids, and then there were also abstract paintings using only different shades of the colour red. He didn't even look up when Rachel looked over his shoulder at what he was sketching now. It was a picture of Paris in the rain. Rachel thought that it looked pretty amazing, considering Nathan had no reference, except what Rachel assumed was his own memory.

"Wow, these are amazing, Nathan," Rachel commented as she watched his broken sketching lines.

He put down the pencil, finally looking up at Rachel. She saw that he looked dishevelled. She hadn't seen him in a while—probably two or three weeks.

"Can I ask you something, Rach?" he asked.

She nodded, waiting for what he had to say.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts you? And all that you can think about is them? You think that you might die of a broken heart?" he asked.

Rachel looked down at the paper. "I'm guessing this means something to you when it comes to your relationship with Haley," she concluded.

He didn't answer, but the look on his face said it all. "When I think about her, this is all I think about," he said. "Flowers and the colour red and Paris. I can't think of anything bad. And my mind is just being consumed by it," he admitted.

"You need to talk to her," she insinuated.

He shook his head. "I can't. And I think she made it clear that day we came back from France that nothing would ever happen and that the kiss was a mistake," he informed her.

"Then make her change her mind!" she exclaimed.

"Haley is a very tenacious person. I don't think I can get her to change her opinion on anything," he said sheepishly, looking down at his drawing again. It was the same exact view that the two of them had that night in the café. Most people's memories of one particular scene would have become obscure over a period of eight months but Nathan remembered it exactly. He remembered the exact way the moonlight hit the shimmering pavement, and the exact make and model of every single car on that street. He remembered the exact shade of the wall in the café, as it provided a framework for the scene outside. He remembered the names of the stores and restaurants across the street. He remembered the very faint Eiffel Tower on the horizon. On the picture, it was in the top left-hand corner, the lights beginning to shine. He remembered it all.

"I'm bringing you to talk to her," Rachel announced.

"Rachel, no," he answered, hanging up the photo next to some others on a clothesline with clothespins.

Rachel walked into his direct path of vision so he couldn't avoid looking at her. "Nathan, this will never get better until you confront her on it. It's probably not as bad as you think it is."

"And what if it's worse?" he inquired.

"How could it possibly worse?"

He shrugged. "She hates me?" he suggested.

She shook her head. "Nathan, don't be ridiculous. She could never hate you. She probably isn't even mad. What reason would she have to be?"

He shrugged again. "I don't know…" he trailed off. "It's not a good idea."

"Sometimes coal is actually gold covered in a layer of soot. Come on. We're going," she said, dragging him out of the room, which Nathan allowed reluctantly.

* * *

Peyton washed a plate and put it on the drying rack before washing her hands. She looked over her shoulder. Haley's door was slightly ajar. A moment later, as if Peyton had summoned her telepathically, Haley came out. She went through her bag, which was sitting on a chair. Peyton couldn't figure that out, seeing as Haley barely ever left the apartment. She took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. Peyton sighed. She was beginning to feel like Haley's mother.

"I was going to ask you to watch Anna while I go to the store, but now I won't," she commented.

"I could watch her, Peyton," Haley insisted.

"No, you can't. I won't let you. You know my rule about smoking around Cassidy," she reminded Haley.

Haley sighed. She put the cigarette away and the lighter. She didn't like the taste, but it was like a release, for some reason. She felt in control for once.

"Thank you," Peyton responded, seeing that Haley put it all away. She grabbed for her jacket near the doorway.

Haley nodded. "I probably shouldn't be smoking anyway," she muttered.

"No, you shouldn't," Peyton agreed.

Haley sighed, going into Anna's nursery. She picked the baby girl out of her crib and brought her into the living room. She rocked her gently, patting the little girl's back as she slept.

After a few minutes, Haley heard the door knock. She sighed and got up to get it, Anna still in her arms.

She tried to suppress all her shock when she saw Nathan standing in the doorway. "Haley. I need to talk to you," he said.

She stared at him, her big brown eyes full of some undetectable emotion. It may have been fear, shock, anger, or all of the above.

Haley stood at the door, Anna sleeping soundly in her arms as she stared at Nathan.

"It's been eight months," she began.

"I know. But when we talked at the airport, I got the impression that you never wanted to see me again," he told her.

She walked away from the door, but left it open, indicating that she wanted Nathan to follow her. Nathan did so, closing the door behind him, and watching Nathan intently. Haley sat on the couch, while Nathan sat across from her in a seat, staring her down.

"What made you think that I never wanted to see you again?" she asked quietly and in a childlike manner.

He shrugged. "When we got back, you said you regretted the kiss and wished it didn't happen. I just thought that it meant you didn't want anything to do with me."

Haley looked down at the flooring underneath her feet, thinking. "That's not what I meant," she murmured. "It's the total opposite," she said extremely quietly, so Nathan could only make out that she was mumbling.

"Can you just tell me now?" Nathan asked desperately.

Haley sighed, looking down. She didn't even want to face him. "There's a lot that I need to tell you, which I haven't said. To anyone, really. You're not the reason that I haven't been speaking to you…or to anyone really," she revealed.

"Can we talk about this? Over dinner?" he inquired hopefully.

She stared at him before nodding. "I would like that," she admitted, before looking down at Anna.

Nathan was taken aback a little by how great Haley looked with and cared for a child. He found it endearing and candid, unknowingly knowing she had a lot of practice over these past eight months.

"Come back in an hour? Peyton is going to be at the store, and when she comes back, I need to get ready," she said.

He nodded. He left and realized he was really excited and anxious.

_Am I going on a date with Haley James?_

* * *

Nathan arrived back at Peyton's apartment. Peyton answered this time, with Anna on her hip. She smiled when she saw Nathan.

"I'm guessing that you're not here to see me," she said with a smile.

Before he could answer, Peyton looked over her shoulder and shouted. "Haley!"

Haley emerged from her room a moment later looking absolutely stunning. She didn't have on anything extremely fancy—just a red skirt with an oversized, off-black cable-knit sweater and red flats—but Nathan thought she couldn't have looked more beautiful. Her hair was styled in a loose fishtail braid on one side and grabbed a plain black, fitted coat from the closet.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

He nodded. He was more ready than he ever had been.

"Don't do anything Brooke wouldn't do," Peyton whispered to Haley with a smile creeping on her face.

Normally, Haley would've rolled her eyes and scoffed, but Haley was in better spirits that day. She tried to conceal a smirk and said, "Whatever you say, Peyton."

Haley slipped on her coat and walked over to Nathan, walking out of the door.

* * *

Haley and Nathan sat down for dinner at a restaurant. Haley had been avoiding thinking about something for a lot of the night, but it was something she could no longer ignore.

"Nathan, I need to tell you something, because if I don't, I'll regret it. I've already been hiding it for too long," she murmured, thinking about it in retrospect.

Nathan stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

Haley sighed, closing her eyes. "When you and Brooke and Peyton and everyone else kept telling me that Clay was cheating, I already knew. I had found the things already. A lot of them. But I couldn't face it. I wanted to believe it wasn't true since I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Because there was something that I thought was holding me back, though I wasn't certain. But when I saw the woman in his room, I knew it had to be over. And that same night I found out for sure," she said vaguely.

"Found out what?" he asked nervously.

She bit her lip. "I was pregnant."

"Was?" he asked.

She closed her eyes as if pressing back tears with her eyelids. "The baby—it was a boy—died. I gave birth to him and he didn't survive. He had SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome." She choked on those words, recalling finding him in his crib, lifeless. "It was Clay's baby. And I thought I was pregnant, and I didn't want my child growing up without a father, but when I saw it for myself, I didn't care. I wanted him to have nothing to do with Clay," she explained, her lip quivering, her eyes swelling with tears.

"Haley, I'm so sorry," he said sympathetically.

She shook her head. "I'm not sorry for me. I'm sorry for Jamie. That was his name," she answered softly. "And I've been trying hard not to face it, and some days are good, but some days are terrible. I don't want to keep reliving the past. I want to move on."

She looked down at her hands. "But I don't know where to begin again," she informed him.

"Did you think that you couldn't tell me any of this?" he asked sadly.

She sighed. "I didn't think that. I just knew that if I told you…it would change a lot of things. I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want to be…_weak,_" she said, the word coated thickly with caustic acid, burning as it left her mouth.

"I know who you are. You don't have to fear that," he answered, shaking his head.

"I didn't want you to see me like that," she repeated, muttering. "I didn't know how to act after that kiss! I didn't know what to say to you. I felt like I was betraying someone by doing that because I was…" she began, trailing off in thought.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have done it," he insisted.

She shook her head. "I'm glad you did," she revealed quietly. "It made me put things in perspective," she said with a weak smile.

He saw right through it. "Hales, you don't have to put up the façade for me. I don't care about you crying. In fact, I like it. You don't have to be the epitome of perfection all the time," he said.

_Even though you really are._

He sighed. "In fact, I find it one of your most beautiful manifestations," he disclosed.

She lit up, looking up at him. "You do?" she inquired innocently, a childlike glow illuminating her dark eyes.

He nodded. "When you were crying in the alley, I couldn't have asked for a better time to be around. You weren't trying to be someone you weren't. You were being a _real _person," he said.

* * *

A few conversations later, Haley found herself smiling for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Have you spoken to Clay?" Nathan asked without thinking.

Haley froze.

Nathan shook his head. "I'm sorry, Hales. We don't have to talk about that if you don't want to," he apologized.

"I want to talk about that," she revealed. "I've been thinking about it a lot, and I've been wondering about what someone else would say, thinking about it," Haley said. "And I want to tell you about it."

He nodded.

She sighed, continuing. "I met Clay when we started college. He became one of my best friends." She gulped. "He was there for me when I was eighteen and…my boyfriend…he…raped me," she choked out, wincing as the reality of what she just said set in. She looked up and saw Nathan looking sympathetic for her. She shook her head. "Before you feel sorry for me, you need to understand—we had been dating for a really long time and us never…I was—"

"So? Haley, it doesn't matter. Wrong is wrong," Nathan argued. "That's a lot to deal with. Especially having something as horrific as that being your first time."

She bowed her head, looking down at her thumbs. "Clay said that to me when I told him. I was recovering for two years before we started dating." She sighed, looking crestfallen and on the verge of tears as she remembered. "He was the first person who made me feel good about myself. I felt like I was a doormat for my entire life, and he was the first person who made me feel like something more. Besides Peyton, Lucas and Brooke, of course," she amended. She continued, "And then, about three years into our relationship, probably about the time we got engaged, things started to change with him. He started treating me as if I were inferior. He started to make subtle digs at me. He was irritable more often than not. When he drank, he started to get verbally abusive and made me feel bad about myself. And then he hit me a couple of times. He told me, while he was drunk, that I was neglecting him. There's only a number of times a person can hear something before they start to believe that it's true. And I started believing it. I don't know why things started to change. I guess when I started to open my eyes when I became friends with Rachel and Jake and…you," she said quietly.

He remained silent. "Were you falling out of love with him?"

She began drawing swirls in the condensation on her glass of water. "I kept telling myself that I wasn't. But I realized that last night in Paris that I didn't want to be there. I didn't even want to last the night. I didn't want to last for the rest of my life. And I fled that night. I've been running for months, from everything…from reality. When is it going to be time for me to stop running and be still?" she asked sardonically.

She looked down, not gathering the courage to tell him this to his face. "That's what I liked so much about you. You knew how to be still while I just keep running," she admitted.

"I don't—"

"You're patient. You're willing to wait for everything, even if it takes a thousand years. People say that the nice guys don't get very far but…I have a feeling that you're going to find a girl who can love you just as much as your friends do. A girl who can be still and be tame for you."

_And that girl isn't me._

_But that girl can be you._

"I've never been a girl to just wait around. I'm watching all my friends grow and go to places and I can't. I'm running in the past. Peyton and Jake are happy being Anna's parents. Brooke and Lucas are in love. You're successful. I'm stuck. A runner like me is stuck. I can't be this way. But I don't know what to be anymore," she said.

"You don't have to be anything except for Haley. You're amazing. And I know you'll find someone someday who can keep up with you," Nathan added with a somewhat forced smile.

Haley bit her lip. "There's a reason that cheetahs don't run in packs. They can stay the night, but they can never last the long haul," she explained.

"Don't you believe in love?" he asked innocently.

She sighed. "Love is like a broken promise…all it ever does is breaks and burns and ends." She looked down. "And from this experience, that was one thing I learned."

He looked at her sadly. "Not everyone is like Clay," he said meekly.

"All the good ones are taken or gay or too good to be true," she retorted. She sighed. "It's late and I'm tired, Nathan. Can we please just call it a night?" she inquired.

He sighed but nodded.

* * *

"I'm sorry if I bored you tonight with my recollections and flashbacks. But it was nice having someone to talk to," Haley said as Nathan walked her back to Peyton's apartment.

Nathan nodded. "I enjoyed hearing it. I was glad to finally have heard things from your point of view," he replied honestly.

She paused in the hallways, making Nathan freeze, as well. She came up with an idea. "Do you want to see my new apartment?" she asked.

He nodded. She led him down the hall, to the very last apartment on that floor. She picked out a key off of her keychain and opened the door. She opened it and led him into a room filled with boxes and boxes, with some furniture, but a very minimal amount: a couch, TV, and Spencer knew that she would be moving the bed into her bedroom soon.

"It's nice. Not big, but not small, either. You're just one person," Nathan said without thinking.

She nodded, not noticing how Nathan hoped he could stick his foot in his mouth after that comment. She still picked up on his uneasiness, however, not offended or upset by the comment. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. You don't have to walk around the topic like you're tiptoeing on eggshells around me, Nathan," she said.

"Right."

She looked around the apartment, taking it in herself.

"Do you actually have anything left in Peyton's apartment?" Nathan asked.

"I have some clothes left in the closet, a few pairs of shoes, and my bed. That's about it," she confessed.

He nodded. "So you're pretty much set."

"Yup. I think I'm moving everything else within the next few days," she announced. He nodded. She felt like he was challenging her. "It's a relief for me," she insisted.

"I believe you," he assured her.

Haley locked the door of her new apartment as she and Nathan walked back down the hall to Peyton's.

She smiled as they got to the door. "Well, thanks for making a rough time a little less…rough," she said before opening her door and stepping inside.

"Anytime, Haley," he choked out right after the door slammed shut.

He sighed as he realized just how deep he was in.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

_Love. That's love._

* * *

Haley sighed as she glanced at the calendar she had imposed when she first began to live with Peyton. It was her turn to go to the grocery store. Normally she would've complained, but not only was that childish, but she wanted to go this time. It brought up feelings of nostalgia, with this being her last shopping trip for Peyton's household.

She sighed again as she began to draft up a list, looking up and down the cabinets and in the bathroom for everything two girls and a baby could ever need. She rummaged through the cat-shaped cookie jar, yet another thing she'd miss, for their grocery allowance. Haley had perfectly planned it out—if they each put aside $50 a week, it would be about $400 a month, plus Jake had offered to help with some of Anna's necessities.

Haley had gotten her first job since her split from Clay. She saw it as one positive change in her life. She had finally gotten the opportunity to do what she wanted to. She was a professor at Tree Hill High. She taught French II. She was quite happy, but ever since losing Clay, she hadn't been back to work. She was off for personal reasons for a month, but ready to go back.

Haley roamed down the aisles at the supermarket, looking for Peyton's strange (and expensive) organic things. At the end of the day, Haley believed it was the same as the regular kind, only more expensive, and it soothed the minds of health-conscious or environmental-conscious people, such as Peyton.

She threw a box of whole-wheat pasta into the cart, glancing back down at the list, only looking up as she bumped into someone else's cart.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized, though she wasn't really paying attention to the person. In fact, Haley wasn't even really sure what she was doing.

The person laughed at her obvious distress and Haley felt a little insulted. She looked up. It was a man with brown hair, brown eyes, and a dazzling white smile. "Don't worry about it. I don't care much for mayonnaise anyway," he said with a foreign accent, pointing towards a small display which Haley had knocked over. She hadn't even noticed.

She felt the colour rising to her cheeks. "I'm such a klutz," she mumbled, beginning to pick up the jars.

The man helped her, stacking them back onto the display. "Did you know that clumsiness is alluring and helps someone appear to be cute?" he asked.

Haley could barely register what he said. She was caught up in his eyes and accent and basically everything else. "Really?" she inquired absent-mindedly.

He nodded. "It was a study. The study of cute. Humans find clumsy people to be cute," he explained.

She nodded. "Well, then, I must be adorable," she joked.

He stared at her for a moment. "You're certainly easy on the eyes. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a jerk, but you're very beautiful."

Haley heard herself giggle (oh, how she hated that word) as she turned away and blushed. "You're not so bad yourself," she flirted back.

"Will I see you again?" he said, at a loss for something to say.

She shrugged. "But you might be able to see me soon if you had my number," she informed him. Haley pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of her coat, along with a pen. She wrote her name and cell phone number on it. "Whoops. I think I just dropped my phone number. You'll have to forgive my klutziness," she said as she tossed the piece of paper on the floor. As he picked it up, Haley walked away with a smug smile. She didn't even realize that she didn't even get his name.

* * *

"Brooke! I have such a good idea," Peyton said teasingly.

On the other end of the line, Brooke could sense Peyton's smirk. "You have an idea. You have the best ideas. Tell me now," she demanded.

"Anna is going to be with Jake tonight. You don't have any plans, do you?" she asked hopefully.

"Free as a bird."

"I don't know if anyone ever told you this, but you're hilarious when you're drunk, Brooke. You have no filter," Peyton said to Brooke.

Brooke let out a suppressed laugh. "I'm pretty sure nobody has a filter when they're drunk," she responded.

"Exactly. And do you know who would be really interesting to see drunk?" Peyton said with an excited smile.

Brooke's mouth formed a perfect O. "I think I have to call you back, Peyton. I have another phone call I have to make. Now," she said. Before Peyton even got the chance to respond, Brooke hung up. She began searching through her phone for the right contact.

"Hey, Nathan. This is Brooke. Peyton and I are going out tonight, We wanted to know if you wanted to go out with us. Call me back," she said before hanging up.

* * *

Haley was cutting up fruit when her phone began to ring throughout her new, very empty apartment. She dove for it immediately, almost cutting her hand on the knife, but swiftly avoided it.

"Hello?" she answered.

"I just realized that you don't even know my name."

Haley smiled. It was the man from the grocery store. She decided it would be fun to mess with him for a minute. "I don't know what you're talking about," she toyed.

"Haley? We met at the grocery store," he answered.

"I'm kidding; I'm kidding. I remember who you are. I don't know anyone else who speaks with an English accent," she said with a laugh.

She heard a nervous laugh on the other end. "I promise I don't bite," she added, hoping to relax his nerves.

"I realized that you don't even know my name."

She let out a breath. "Well, I've been referring to you as 'That Handsome English Stranger' in my head. Was I close?" she flirted shamelessly.

"It's Liam," he said.

"Liam? I liked my name better," she retorted. She heard a relaxed laugh on the other end. "This might be really forward of me, but would you like to go out?" she asked. Through everything, Haley had become very forward (not that it mattered; she wasn't doing much dating while she was pregnant).

That question obviously had Liam flustered. "What did you have in mind?" he inquired.

"There's this great sushi place right down the street from where I live. It's called Fushimi. Want to meet there at seven?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure," he answered.

She smiled before hanging up. She abandoned her task and proceeded to get ready, leaving her celery sticks feeling neglected.

* * *

"It's weird being away from Anna," Peyton said quietly as she and Brooke waited at Brooke's favourite bar.

Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh no. It's that stupid separation anxiety first-time mothers get when they first have their babies," she moaned.

"Brooke, can you blame me? Anna is really lovable, and…she's my little baby," she complained.

Brooke sighed. "We're here to get Nathan drunk, okay? If I have to hear about Anna all night, Nathan won't be the only one getting drunk," she said.

"Fine. I'll try and stop thinking about my little munchkin," she said bitterly. She turned to the bartender. "Can I have a shot of tequila? Make it extra strong," she instructed.

The bartender nodded. "No problem."

Peyton threw it back with ease. Brooke waved down the same bartender. "Can I have a…what is it called…it's pretty and pink. Cosmo…Champagne Cosmo?" she asked.

"Cosmopolitan Champagne?" he offered with a laugh.

She nodded incessantly. "Yup, that's the one. I'll take one of those," she responded.

When he returned with her pretty pink drink, Brooke took a sip. "Where is Nathan?" she asked.

Peyton shrugged, looking around. "Maybe he got creeped out. He did call you back, right?" she asked.

Brooke nodded. "He said he would be here," she insisted. She looked around. She finally spotted Nathan. She waved him over. "Nathan! Come join the party!" she offered, patting the stool right next to her.

"Hey Brooke, Peyton," he greeted politely.

Brooke reached out to hug him. She waved the bartender down again. "Can you get my friend a beer? And me one, too?" she ordered. She barely took a drop of her cocktail, but she didn't want Nathan to feel left out.

"So, Nathan. Have you spoken to Haley?" Brooke asked when the bartender came back. She was unaware of their date-by-another-name.

Peyton watched as Nathan struggled to answer. "He and Haley went on a non-date the other day. Right, Nathan?" she asked.

He nodded. And then he regretted it. Brooke liked making him blush. "So did you tell her what you've been obsessing about that kiss?" she asked.

Nathan gave Brooke an unhappy look. "I haven't been obsessing about it…" he said defensively.

Brooke gave him a knowing look. "I think you have," she sing-songed.

"Nathan, just do us all a favour and admit that you love Haley. We already know it. The only one who doesn't is Haley because as smart as she is, she's probably one of the most naïve people I have ever met," Peyton said with a small slur.

He sighed. He had already admitted it to himself, and indirectly to Rachel. He had probably said it to either Lucas or Jake while drunk. What were two people, more or less? "Fine. I love Haley. And not as a friend," he admitted.

Brooke beamed. Peyton called the bartender back. "Hey, can we have a round of tequila shots, as per my friend being in love?" she asked as she reached past Brook and touched Nathan's hand.

* * *

"So this is my apartment. I just moved here, so don't get totally freaked out by the boxes. I have yet to unpack them," she told Liam as they walked into her new apartment. There were a couple of boxes around the place, but before their date, Haley had managed to empty a couple of them and make the place look homier.

He nodded. "It's a lovely apartment," he commented.

"Thanks," she said. She was a bit tipsy, but still able to form somewhat coherent sentences.

Wren, who was pretty much completely sober, steadied Haley as she wobbled. "Maybe we could have some coffee," he suggested.

She nodded. "And then we can see what else happens," she said suggestively.

* * *

"Okay, Nathan. You take her upper half and I'll grab onto her legs," Brooke suggested. Once again, Peyton's tiny stature allowed her to get wasted rather quickly. She was passed-out drunk at the moment. Brooke was just glad Anna was with Jake.

Brooke pushed open the door, groaning as she led Peyton into the apartment, with Nathan close behind. They brought Peyton to the bed, placing her down very gently. Peyton quickly curled up and began hugging a pillow. She began to snore very quietly and in a pretty cute way.

"I, for one, think she is adorable when she's asleep," Brooke commented.

"I don't know, Brooke. I've never really watched someone sleep," Nathan answered.

Brooke smiled as she smoothed out some of Peyton's hair. "Well, I have and I can say that she is very cute," she said, her voice going up an octave.

"You'll be a good mom someday, too, Brooke," Nathan commented.

Brooke smiled. "Thanks, Scott. You'll be a good dad," she replied with a nudge on the arm.

"If I ever become a dad," he said, and Brooke could hear the hope slipping from his words. "I have a feeling I'll always be Uncle Nathan; never anything more."

Brooke frowned. "You will find a girl one day who appreciates you as much as your friends do. And when you do, I can say I told you so," she informed him with a smile.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I think Peyton should probably be left alone."

Brooke looked over her shoulder at Peyton. "Trust me, someone needs to soothe her headache when she wakes up tomorrow morning with a bitch of a hangover. Someone needs to calm her down before Anna and Jake get back," Brooke informed him. "Besides, I get free cable here. I've mastered the art of mooching by now," she joked.

"I think I'd better call it a night. Bye, Brooke. And when Peyton wakes up, tell her I said bye, too," he told her.

"Bye Nathan!" she called as he shut the door behind him.

* * *

"I'm sober now," Haley said as she put the cup of coffee into the sink.

Liam looked her over. "Some part of me doesn't want to take your word for it," he informed her.

She didn't really pay attention, however. She took the cup from his grasp, pouring it down the drain. Before he could register what was going on, Haley led him to her bedroom. She really wasn't sure what she wanted at this point. She wanted some form of human connection.

"Haley…what are you doing?" Liam asked. Of course, he realized what she was trying to do. He just didn't feel comfortable doing those things.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I thought this date was going well. Really well, even. Isn't this how all the really good dates end?" she asked provocatively.

"Haley, I really don't want to take advantage—"

"It's not taking advantage if I'm not drunk and I'm offering," Haley whispered quietly. Without any warning, she kissed him harshly on the lips, as if she demanded something.

She stared at him, pulling back. "It doesn't have to mean anything," she promised.

"I want it to mean something," he confessed.

Though she wanted to, Haley didn't believe him. Her faith in men had been dashed after all the disappointment she had dealt with because of them.

"Then it will," she assured him. "I promise."

He finally leaned into their kisses. Haley leaned back onto the bed. When she pulled away, she swore that she saw Nathan's eyes instead of his. She closed her eyes, trying not to think of that.

"Are we safe?" he asked awkwardly. Again, Haley heard Nathan's voice instead.

Not opening her eyes, she nodded, adding, "I'm on the pill."

She scooted back onto the bed, getting lost in the mirage, pretending that Liam was Nathan instead. Her heart ached a little, and Haley attempted to convince herself that she was still drunk, though she knew she wasn't.

* * *

_Well, there you have it Brooke's big secret! and I know y'all hate me for this whole Liam and Haley thing but it needs to be done cause realistically she can't just jump into Nathan's arm wouldn't' make sense but it won't last long trust me, at the end of the day we all know who's heart really lays with her, and just letting y'all know Jamie unfortunately, is not in this story, as mentioned he did pass. I will try and show some scenes with him and Haley, or with Lucas and Brooke, but nevertheless, this story is more about the relationships. _

_**thibbs65: **thank you that's so sweet! I know if I was Haley I definitely would have far more suspicious than she was. I would want to know whether my boyfriend was cheating on me or if my friends were just flat out lying ya know? She definitely should have stuck around some more, possibly get Nathan to help her snoop around lol. I know Nathan will always be there for Haley more than anyone cause that what you do for someone you love. The pregnancy came as a shock for many but also didn't cause if you read the very terribly written version of this story back in 2014, when it was called "What Hurts The Most," you would know that Clay was going to be Jamie's dad. It definitely makes the story a lot more compelling rather than Haley being pregnant with Nathan's child. I do think a bit in this chapter she does start to develop somewhat strong feelings for Nathan knowing he's going to always be there for her and Jamie regardless. Brooke's not pregnant with Lucas's child sorry to disappoint but I hope this secret wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. I don't plan on making Brooke pregnant anytime soon, way too many pregnancies already in a short amount of time. _

**_sandygirl: _**_First I hope things are well with you, and everything's okay. Secondly, there's no need to apologize trust me life and what you've been going through is far more important than a fictional story. I know I try and write Lucas better than he was in the show when it came to his relationship with Brooke. Despite claiming he was in love with her (which I do think he was at one point), he really never made much of an effort to care for her or show her he loves her, and that really bothered me. So, I decided to write a better version of himself. Peyton in this story is often gonna more of the mother/older-sister figure who just wants the best for those around her, well that's her so far, but after she does something stupid she changes for the worse and trust me we will see that side of her develop. It's only for character building. Thank you so much!_

**_dianehermans: _**_yes yes baby, please. Trust me it's only for Haley's character development but also what may strengthen and solidify her relationship with Clay and Nathan. So, it will all work out for the best I promise. Anyway, thank you!_

**_naley12: _**_Thank you! trying to make their connection as real as possible so it can help build their relationship. _

**_guest:_**_ thank you! I am too we all know that Nathan would always save Haley and protect her any chance he got, that's what happens when you care deeply about someone. I enjoyed their friendship as well especially during season 1 their connection with music and how Haley felt like she could confide in someone other Lucas and her family for once especially when it came to her relationship with Nathan. It sucks that the writers threw that all out the window halfway through season 2 and so much of season 3 because of the whole tour debacle. I feel like after that their friendship was never the same again. _

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time! __**-Sidney**_


	8. Chapter 8

_"When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable." _

_\- Jess C. Scott_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**January 13, 2007**

Nathan entered Peyton's apartment with bagels and coffee. Peyton was groaning in her bedroom.

"Peyton, you didn't get me that trough of water and a horse-sized aspirin when I was hungover, so you shouldn't expect the same from me," Brooke said sharply in the other room. Peyton groaned in response. Nathan put down everything.

He walked towards Peyton's room and noticed Jake and Anna in Anna's nursery. He walked in to join him.

"Did you just get here?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah. Why? Did you?" Jake asked in response as he put Anna into her crib.

"Brooke called me like twenty minutes ago, asking to get some bagels and coffee for when Peyton woke up, and she didn't mention you," Nathan explained.

Jake nodded. "I just came here like ten minutes ago with Anna. She was still sleeping. I just hope that they don't wake her up," he said while he stared at Anna, sleeping soundly with a smile on her round face.

Jake and Nathan both exited the room, finding Peyton wallowing in self-pity on the couch now, Brooke trying to help her.

"Goddamnit! Why won't the pain go away?" she lamented loudly, burying her head in the pillows on the couch.

"Can someone get a case of water, like, now? Maybe it'll sober her up," Brooke suggested.

* * *

Haley woke up with arms wrapped around her. Before she got the chance to see who was beside her, she felt lips, soft as a feather, press against hers. She opened her eyes when they pulled away and saw oceans of blue in front of her.

"Good morning, beautiful," Nathan whispered to her.

Haley smiled at the sound of his voice. She leaned in to kiss him once more, her lips lingering there for a moment. "You have no idea how long I waited for last night to happen," she murmured into his neck.

"Last night should've happened a really long time ago," he responded, tugging at her waist, bringing her closer and kissing her twice more.

She nodded, climbing on top of him. "Do you think last night can tide over into this morning? I just feel like I've waited entirely too long for you," she said before wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing him.

"Now we don't have to wait," he answered.

"Can you stay here with me?"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Haley leaned her head into his chest. "I love you. Last night was amazing," she mumbled into his skin. Tempted by the taste and the feel, she began to peck at his chest, her hands travelling lower and lower and lower and her lips continuously working at his neck…

* * *

Haley woke up from her dream to find herself sweating and alone in her bed. Liam walked into her room, with a cup of coffee. She took it from him gladly, taking a sip and then putting it on her nightstand.

"Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" Liam asked her.

She shrugged.

"Would you like to agree that certain things never happened between us?" he inquired.

She sighed. "I don't know. I'm just confused," she admitted.

He stared at her for a moment, reading right through her. "There's someone else, isn't there?"

She stared at him before answering. "No. There's nobody else," she insisted.

He wasn't buying that. "Haley, there is. You love someone else. Denying it isn't going to help the situation. You should do what your heart tells you to do. From the short time I've known you, I can tell that you're a sweet person that a guy would be lucky to know, much less love. You should at least tell him how you feel," he suggested.

She thought over his words. "What if he doesn't feel the same?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "Is your love for him worth the risk?"

She wanted to think it was. Before he got the chance to leave, she stopped him. "Hey, Liam?" she called out.

He stopped, waiting for more.

"Thanks. For everything. And just so you know, it's not you. And the sex was…fun," she said, trying to find the proper adjective, before realizing she had pictured someone else the entire time.

He flashed her a dazzling smile before leaving. Haley fell back onto her bed, curling up and wondering what she was going to do about this whole debacle. Her phone rang and she answered when she saw it was Rachel.

"Hey, Rachel. What are you up to?" she asked.

Rachel sighed. "Not much. What about you?"

Haley stared at the door, thinking about what had just happened. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said.

"Try me."

Haley sighed. "Well, for starters, I think I just had my first one night stand, ever."

Rachel's shoulders dropped, her face following. "What?" she asked, not even attempting to keep the disappointment out of her voice. This was not how Haley and Nathan were going to end up together.

"The guy was nice. His name was Liam. But he gave me some really good advice. He told me that I should follow my heart," she explained, conveniently leaving out her dreams and mirages about Nathan.

"I don't know the guy but I love him already," Rachel announced. Hopefully, Haley would follow that advice.

Haley lay back down on the bed. "I think I just want some time to think about myself," she said.

_Ugh, she's making this very difficult._

* * *

Rachel opened the door to Nathan. He walked in, seemingly very happy.

"Rachel, I have really great news," he announced, a smile spreading across his face.

Rachel nodded nervously. "You can say what you have to say first." _Because I'm pretty sure that after what I say, no news is good news._

"I just admitted that I love Haley," he said.

Rachel smiled. "Yes! You finally did it! Nathan, I'm so happy!" she exclaimed, jumping up to hug Nathan. It was as if Nathan just announced he was getting married or something.

"So what did you want to say?" he asked.

Rachel's face fell. "Well…this is kind of hard and I hope you don't get upset," she began.

"What could possibly be so bad?" Nathan inquired.

"Haley had someone over last night…I don't know what they did, but she said she wants time to herself. But maybe she's just waiting for you—"

"I should probably give her space, Rach. She's probably still grieving," he said. The obvious shift in the mood had made both of them feel uncomfortable. Nathan soon wanted to leave.

"Nathan, you—"

"I'm fine, Rachel," he insisted, reading her mind. "She needs space. Maybe I should just start looking somewhere else. Maybe I need a fresh start," he said. "I never told this to anyone, but I was offered a job. It's in New York. Nobody needs me here; maybe in New York, I can finally be completely happy," he announced.

"Nathan, don't—"

"I've got to go. I'll talk to you soon."

* * *

"Nathan…stop…stop! I really have to go to work," Haley exclaimed as she tried desperately to get out of his strong grip.

He had her by the waist, where she wished she could stay. "Are you sure you have to go now?" he whispered suggestively.

"Yes. I'll be back early, though. Maybe we could finish what we started before," she teased while leaning close to him, her lips brushing against his and their noses just about touching.

He groaned. "You're killing me, Haley James," he moaned.

"Hmm…that's not what you were saying before. Or maybe you were. I don't remember you saying anything except for Haley. And that was really loudly," she teased.

Haley yelped as Nathan pulled her off her feet and on top of him. "Nathan!" she yelled.

"And that's what you were saying all last night," he teased.

Haley rolled her eyes, but she was laughing. She leaned down to kiss him. As she tried to get up, Nathan pulled her close again. She would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it. Nathan did, too.

"I love you, but you seriously need to let me go, Nathan," she reprimanded.

Nathan sighed. He then realized something which made him smile like an idiot. "You said you loved me. I wanted to say that. I love you so, so, so much," he said before pecking her on the lips.

"I know you do. And I love you, too," Haley said, the smile wide on her face. She kissed him back.

* * *

Her second great, cute, fluffy dream was interrupted by someone hitting her on the back. She groaned and looked up. She saw a brunette head in front of her face.

"Brooke! What are you doing here? I was dreaming!" she exclaimed before covering her head with a pillow.

Brooke snorted. "Of what? Getting steamy with McDreamy?" she inquired.

Haley made a face. "No! Something else. Can you please go away?" she asked rather rudely.

"Nope," Brooke answered, looking at her nails and staying in place.

Haley uncovered herself, sitting up abruptly. "What do you want?" she demanded.

"Just wanted to check in on my friend."

Haley sighed, laying back down. "I kind of want to be left alone."

Brooke rolled her eyes, looking around the room. "Whatever, Hales. But can I ask you one thing?" she asked hopefully.

"If you will allow me to sleep afterwards, sure," she said.

"Do you love Nathan?" Brooke asked.

Haley paused, thinking about it. "Why would you ask that?"

Brooke shrugged. "You just seem really different around him. Better, even."

"Thanks, Brooke," Haley said with amicable sarcasm.

"You know what I mean. You care about him, and it's obvious he cares a lot, too. But is it love?" Brooke questioned.

Haley shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like maybe…it could be. But he probably doesn't feel as much as I do," she said pessimistically.

Brooke rolled her eyes as she watched Haley roll over and close her eyes. "If you two bulls don't open your eyes to see the love of your life is standing right in front of you," Brooke grumbled, "I will personally ram one of my stiletto heels up your stubborn a—"

"What was that Brooke?" Haley asked, not turning around.

"Nothing, Hales!" Brooke chirped, getting up and leaving.

Haley sighed as she heard Brooke leave. She figured that with any luck, Nathan would be back in her dream, where she could live out her teenage-girl fantasies. They scared her but Haley found herself not caring anymore.

* * *

_Do it, Haley. You can finally do it. Just call him. Invite him over._

Haley stared at her cellphone, contemplated doing what she had wanted to do for so long. She touched the phone, finally picking it up.

_But what if he doesn't feel the same way?_

She put it back down, walking away. She tapped her finger on her arm, crossing them.

_Haley, he followed you to Paris. He's been waiting for you this entire time. Maybe he actually does feel the same way about you that you do about him._

Haley sighed, deciding what she would do. She picked up the phone, calling him.

"Hey, Nathan. It's Haley. I just wanted to meet up with you again. I have something that I really wanted to tell you, and I wanted you to hear it from me," Haley said. Afterwards, she hung up.

There was no turning back now. What was done was done.

* * *

Brooke stabbed the mound of ice cream in the dish with her spoon, only to put it back down. Lucas observed her while Nathan was lost in his own train of angry thought.

"I can't believe Haley would do something like this to you," Brooke said finally and angrily.

Nathan shrugged. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure why he was so mad. As he was thinking about it, his reasons weren't justified; they weren't dating or emotionally attached together in any way. Why should he be so mad?

"I was starting to think that…" Brooke began, before trailing off and abandoning her sentence.

Lucas didn't seem to pick up on this. "Think what?" he asked.

Brooke shook her head. "Never mind. I just can't believe it. Haley never seemed like the one-night stand kind of person. Well, neither did Peyton and look at what happened."

Nathan's phone rang again. As bad as he felt, he let it ring. Haley was calling. Again. Brooke sighed before she reached out, grabbed it, and rejected her call.

"The nerve of that girl..." she grumbled. She stabbed the melting ice cream again but finding that her appetite was virtually non-existent. "You've been waiting around for her this whole time, while it's been breaking your heart. And now, right after she puts the nail in your coffin, she decides that she wants to talk to you…"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "What do you know that we don't?"

Brooke opened her mouth, but no words came out; only small noises were ejected from her throat. She put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to keep herself from saying something stupid.

"Brooke…?" Nathan asked.

Brooke sighed, putting everything down. "Alright, fine! Haley had…an a-ha moment, of sorts, the last time I saw her, which was yesterday. She finally opened her eyes and saw that you are a good person who wants nothing more than to sweep her off her feet. And don't even try to deny it," she warned.

Nathan shrugged, not really in the mood for denying again.

"Anyway, she said she was scared that you didn't feel the same. I tried to tell her that it was a stupid thought, but she didn't believe me and wanted me to leave. I don't know why; all she was doing was sleeping."

Nathan sighed. Both of them were just so stubborn. He considered it a bad flaw in his character, but would never admit it to other people. He was starting to feel stupid about the entire situation. After hearing what Brooke had said, even he couldn't deny their mutual attraction. Haley had said it herself. He wanted to make up with her and for them to admit their lingering feelings for each other. That was what he wanted, more than anything else.

But he, like Haley, was scared. Scared, more than anything, of breaking her heart. His own feelings and safety of his heart came second to hers.

He sighed. He feared, as well, the prospect of neither of them getting out of this situation with a whole heart.

* * *

"I don't get it. Why isn't he answering?" Haley asked as she pressed the END button on another one-sided phone call.

Peyton sighed as she patted Anna. "Maybe he's been doing something all day. He might be busy," she suggested.

Haley shrugged. "I don't know why I'm getting so bent out of shape on this. I'll see him soon, either way." She put it off to the side, smiling at Anna. "She's so adorable."

Peyton beamed with pride. "Is it weird that I went to the supermarket the other day and a man, I guess a priest or someone, came up and started praying on her, or something like that?" she asked.

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Did that really happen?"

Peyton nodded in response.

"Well, then everyone thinks Anna is as cute as I do. That's some kind of prayer so she doesn't get the evil eye and isn't the subject of envy. They have something similar in Judaism, with a red ribbon, but I don't remember the name," Haley said as she admired Anna.

Peyton seemed impressed. "You seem to remember a lot from your World Cultures classes," she stated.

Haley shrugged. "So how have things been with you and Jake?" she asked.

Peyton shrugged. "Like two months before she was born and ever since she has been born, nothing, really. We didn't break anything off, but we haven't seen much of each other not involving her since then," she informed Haley.

"I could babysit her one night for you guys to go out if you want," Haley offered.

Peyton shook her head unremittingly. "No! Really, Haley, I wouldn't want to impose. You probably have stuff to do—"

Haley snorted. "Like what? Unpack the five boxes of stuff I kept only for nostalgic purposes that I've neglected to touch this past week or so?" she asked, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Can you handle her?" Peyton inquired cautiously.

"She's barely two feet long and sleeps eighteen hours a day. I think I can handle that," she insisted. "I want you to hang out with Jake if that's what you want."

Peyton gave her a smile and half a hug (as the other arm was busied by Anna at the moment). "I love you, Hales."

"Love you more."

* * *

Haley walked into her apartment to see Brooke there, pacing back and forth. She was quite confused. And as for Brooke? Well, to put it simply, she looked pissed.

"What's wrong with you, Haley?" she demanded.

Haley put down her keys. "Well, that's an unconventional hello, but it's nice to see you, too."

Brooke rolled her eyes. Haley was oblivious as to why Brooke looked so pissed off. "What's wrong?" Haley asked with concern.

"Like you don't know." Haley remained oblivious. "You slept with someone? While you knew that Nathan is hopelessly devoted to you? Seriously, it's like he's the male version of Sandy in this scenario," Brooke said, her anger peeking out in her voice.

"He is not," Haley said quietly.

"Haley! Get your head out of your ass and realize that you denying any of this is not going to make the situation better!" Brooke exclaimed. "You really hurt him when you did that, you know that?"

Haley sighed. "I get what you're saying, but…wait, how did he even find out?"

Brooke shrugged. "Rachel told him, I think? I don't know. Something like that. But it doesn't matter how he found out. He wouldn't have found out unless she told him," she said.

"Why should it even matter to him?" Haley questioned.

"Relationships are about people being honest with each other, Hales. How are you supposed to have any relationship, romantic or otherwise, if you won't tell him the truth?" Brooke asked wisely.

Haley sighed, flopping down onto her bed. "I hate to say it, but you're right. I need to tell him everything. And I promise Liam was a one-time thing. It means nothing now. I don't even have his phone number. I guess I didn't want the first person after Clay to be a real relationship. I just wanted to get over him," she confessed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Aww!" Brooke exclaimed.

Haley turned to her. "What?"

"I think it's so cute that you're subconsciously trying to make yourself better for Nathan. But Nathan loves you as you are, so you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything," Brook said with a nudge.

Haley hadn't read at all into that. "Have you considered becoming a psychologist, Brooke?" she asked.

Brooke cringed. "Ew, Hales. Have you seen how they dress? What makes you think I'd be caught dead in those clothes?" she asked with a scoff.

Haley rolled her eyes. "You're still Brooke."

* * *

"I don't know what to do about this anymore," Nathan said, burying his head in his hands.

Lucas watched his brother. "You have to talk to Haley about stuff. It's the only way you guys will move on, with or without each other."

Nathan sighed. "I don't even know if I can talk to her. I already feel so broken down about it all, and I don't really want to face her. I feel…betrayed? I don't know. It's complicated. I shouldn't feel so emotional about this all since she's not my girlfriend or anything, but—"

"You've got to stop being so nice. You have to take your own emotions into consideration for once," Lucas insisted. "You need to lay all your cards out on the table," he maintained.

"I know. But I'm such a coward."

"You also need to stop beating yourself up mentally. You're a good friend, would be a good boyfriend if you gave yourself the opportunity and an overall good person. Now you just need to believe it," Lucas urged.

Nathan gave him a broken smile. "Yeah, I do. Thanks, Luke. I think I'd better call it a night, though," he said.

Lucas nodded, getting the hint and walking towards the door. Once he was gone, Nathan sighed, leaning back onto his bed.

* * *

Haley knocked on the door of the apartment. She saw a confused Jake answer the door. She invited herself in with a peace offering—coffee and bagels. She handed a brown paper bag to him and set down a coffee-tray with two cups in it.

"Can I ask you a huge favour, Jake?"

Jake grew a little bit scared for what this entailed. "What is it?" he asked nervously.

She put on her best smile and most innocent look. "Actually, I'm willing to barter. You get something that you really want, and I'll get something I've been hoping for in exchange," she told him with a devious, yet intoxicating smile.

He groaned, knowing that her request may cause trouble. "You're avoiding the topic. What is this?" he demanded.

"I will babysit Anna for the night while you and Peyton go on a date. But I would like something in return," she supposed, teasing him even more by dragging this out.

"Haley," he warned.

"Can I borrow your apartment and your phone? I need to talk to Nathan, and he's not answering my calls. I just need to lure him here and talk to him," she informed him, breaking down her wall. At the moment, she resembled a fifteen-year-old girl asking her parents to extend her curfew so she could go to the party at Michelle's house (since it would _so _be the party of the century).

He nodded. "It's a deal," he said.

"Thank you so much," Haley said.

"It's not much of a compromise. It's not like I want to see you unhappy. In fact, it's a win-win for me. We all want to see you both happy," Jake insisted.

Haley rolled her eyes but hugged Jake anyway.

* * *

Haley looked through the peephole once more, waiting anxiously for Nathan to show up. Jake had gone to Peyton's half an hour ago, and it was just Haley now, waiting for Nathan.

The sound of a dripping faucet reminded Haley of how long five minutes could feel when you were waiting. She groaned as she looked at her watch.

Finally, there was a knock on the door. Haley answered it, spotting Nathan. Before he even got the chance to react, she had yanked him in the apartment, closing, chaining, and deadbolting the door behind him, preventing a hasty exit.

"My guess is Jake wasn't the one who wanted to talk," Nathan said.

Haley shook her head. "Jake and I made a deal that I could use his apartment and text you with his phone. I need to talk to you, Nathan," she said.

He sighed, feeling uncomfortable, something Haley picked up on.

"What?" she asked, growing impatient. "Look, Nathan. Brooke clued me into why you're avoiding me," she informed him.

"Why?" Nathan questioned, intrigued to hear her answer.

"Because of Liam. And I wanted you to know that I'm not mad if you're upset about it. It doesn't mean that I think your reason for being upset is justified, but I'm not mad," she said. She stared down at her feet, praying a blush wouldn't rise to her cheeks. "I actually think it's…cute that you're so concerned," she confessed quietly.

Nathan avoided looking at Haley. He wasn't entirely certain why, but he felt betrayed.

"I just wanted to let you know that Liam didn't mean anything to me. It was a one-night stand. I don't even have his phone number. I guess…I was just using him to get over Clay. He was the first guy I was with at all since I broke up with Clay," she said.

Nathan nodded noncommittally. "It doesn't really make a difference to me," he mumbled.

_I was sort of hoping that it did._ "Oh," Haley uttered softly. "Right."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Haley. I'm not your keeper," he said quietly as if he didn't want to say it at all. The whole thing felt really forced, on both ends.

Haley looked at him, and he was avoiding her gaze at all costs. "I just wanted you to know…" she said, trailing off, all while praying that he wouldn't question why.

"Why?"

_Damn._

"Why?" Haley questioned, thinking it over herself. "I…I…"

She thought, trying to figure out what to say. Should she tell the truth and just get out with it? Should she embellish the truth, telling him that it was a mistake and she deeply regretted it? Should she tell a complete lie and just avoid the question altogether, changing the subject?

Or should she tell the whole truth? The one where she didn't hold back; the one where she hadn't stopped thinking about the kiss for months; the one where she had dreams and fantasies, all with him; the one where she hadn't wasted time neglecting him, and appreciated him before it was all too late.

She shrugged. "I just wanted to tell you the truth. Brooke seemed to think that it was bothering you," she answered dismissively.

"I don't know. I can't explain it. I guess I was…concerned?" he lied. Well, it was half a lie. Or half of telling the truth; he wasn't sure. He was concerned, but he also had more selfish reasons. Reasons he now was unsure whether he wanted to own up to.

Haley looked completely resigned at the moment. "Well…thanks, I guess, for your concern," she murmured. There was an elephant in the room, both unsure whether the other realized it. Where was Brooke when you needed her?

"I think I should go," Nathan said finally. "If that was all you wanted to talk about, I think I should go," he said.

She nodded. "You're right. Sorry if I made you feel awkward," she said, though her sentence sounded more obligatory than apologetic.

Haley closed the door behind Nathan and both leaned on either side of the door. They were both silently cursing themselves for not saying what they needed to; things that would change everything; things which would make it all better, for everyone, especially one another.

* * *

Rachel pushed hard on the door to Nathan's apartment to get in. It was more of a struggle than usual. When she opened the door, she saw why. There was a stack of boxes near the door. They were the kind that people used when they moved out.

This could not be good.

"Nathan!" she exclaimed, suddenly growing very nervous. "Nathan? Where are you?!" she shouted nervously.

She walked to Nathan's room and saw him packing a bag. "What are you doing?" she asked, nervous to hear an answer.

"I'm going out of town for a few days," he answered with a sigh.

"And those boxes out there?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "Some essential boxes in case I decide I want to leave Tree Hill for good," he said.

Rachel's eyes became wide. "Nathan, are you crazy? All because of Haley?" she inquired with shock.

"Haley has nothing to do with this."

_Lie, lie, lie._

"She doesn't, Rachel! I got a job offer out of town. I was asked to look at the land and see if it's something I want to consider. I have nothing solid in this town, and there, I might actually have more luck when it comes to getting work. It's a bigger city that's growing. Tree Hill is crumbling," he retorted. He stared at her. "Why do you think everything has to do with Haley?"

She scoffed. "It so obviously does, Nathan. You're in love. It's not your fault. Love makes you do stupid things," she reminded him.

He shrugged. "I would agree…if I were in love. How could I let myself fall in love with someone who doesn't and wouldn't love me back?" he asked, his voice growing soft.

Her voice became light as a feather. "Because love makes us all do stupid things," she repeated.

"I'm going, Rachel. I'll be back in a week or so. And then…I don't know. But I'm considering it," he said, referencing this potential move.

Rachel looked at him sadly. "Just please…think with your head before you make a solid decision," she pleaded sweetly.

Nathan looked at her, feeling a little saddened by her very manifestation. He nodded slowly, listening to her.

* * *

Haley and Brooke were sitting in a diner, waiting for Rachel. Haley was examining the menu while Brooke stared at her. Haley hadn't really spoken anything except for the traditional pleasantries, but rather began scrutinizing the menu. Brooke had been dying to ask how her confrontation with Nathan went, but she decided it would probably be better to wait until Rachel was there to act as a buffer.

Brooke was growing rather antsy. She decided to finally just ask her.

"So, Hales…how did it go?" she asked finally.

"The whole meeting thing with Nathan?" Haley inquired, not averting her eyes from the menu.

Brooke nodded, adding, "Yes." She paused. "Did you tell him everything?" she questioned.

"I told him that the night with Liam meant nothing, and the whole thing was just me trying to get over Clay," Haley answered.

Brooke nodded, pursing her lips. "So you didn't tell him everything. You didn't mention that you love him."

Haley opened her mouth to speak but Rachel walked up to them at that very moment. Both girls took notice of her sombre, distressed expression as she slid down in the booth next to Brooke.

"Hey, Rachel," Haley said, the concern rising in her voice.

Brooke was a little more blatant about it. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked immediately.

Rachel sighed. "I don't know if I should say this…I don't want to upset you," she said, her brown eyes boring into Haley.

Haley became antsy as she felt her heartbeat quicken. "What is it, Rachel?" she inquired apprehensively.

"It's Nathan. He's left town. And I'm scared that he might not come back. He's really serious about leaving," Rachel explained, not making eye contact with either of the girls, instead she stared at the table.

Brooke looked to see Haley's reaction. Her eyes were filled with concern, but she remained silent.

Finally, she spoke. "What?" she asked quietly, in a voice so childlike and innocent, it might've broken Brooke's heart.

"He's gone. He left this afternoon. I'm worried about him. There's something wrong…" Rachel said, but Haley tuned it out completely.

She only began to think of the things she said wrong; the missed opportunities she had to tell him how she really felt; the little things about him she would quickly miss; everything about him, really.

* * *

Haley walked into her apartment. Since Liam stayed, she had unpacked everything, and it was finally starting to feel comfortable.

But now, things just felt different. Everything felt different. Haley had started putting everything in perspective. Nathan just made her think about herself in a different way. He opened her eyes to things that never even crossed her mind before, and she liked that. Now that he was gone…she tried so hard to make his presence stay, but found it impossible. She needed him, right then and there.

She let out an angry sigh. On a whim, she picked up something at random and threw it across the room, watching as it hit the wall and broke. Then, another object which held no particular value to her. She just felt angry for a reason she couldn't even explain. She needed to take her anger out on something, so whatever came in her way was fair game.

When she was done and there were glass shards, potpourri, and candle bits scattered around her, Haley backed up against the wall, examining the damage she had done. It didn't seem to matter anymore. She slithered down the wall slowly and looked at what was left after the storm.

_You did this, Haley. It's your fault he's gone._

Before she even realized it, Haley let out a small sob.

_No…no. He left. It's obvious whatever was there isn't anymore. Maybe it didn't exist. The past is the past…you have to move onto your future._

Haley realized what she needed was to let go of everything. She held on. Maybe that was her problem; she never knew when to move on and to let go. Maybe things could've been better for her a long time ago if she had moved on and let go of her memories and relationship with Clay. Maybe then, she and Nathan could've had a chance.

And her mind raced back to Nathan.

_But what if he's my future?_

That was what had to happen, right? Nathan just fought for her, over and over, even when she was being horrible. If she could change it, she would've. But was that enough? She wanted a future—she really did, But she almost felt as though Nathan shouldn't give her another chance.

_Fate will find a way._

Haley kept hoping and praying that fate would make Nathan find his way to her. She wanted—no, _needed_—him there with her.

* * *

A week later, Haley poured Rachel a cup of coffee. Rachel took it graciously, pouring some sugar in. Haley drank hers black.

"Have you spoken to Nathan?" Rachel asked carefully.

Haley put the cup down. "I thought I should be asking you that," she said.

Rachel looked uncomfortable. "I haven't spoken to him since he got to New York," she informed her.

"Where is he in New York?" Haley asked.

Rachel shrugged. "Someplace near the city. Staten Island? Long Island? I don't remember exactly," she answered with a shrug.

Haley nodded, trying to calm her nerves. She hadn't seen him in what felt like a really long time. She missed him and just wanted him back.

"Is he coming back?" she asked.

"I don't know, Haley. I know you're nervous, but I barely know anything more than you do," she reminded Haley. Haley shuddered, feeling nervous. "Hales, he has to come back here. He left everything here," Rachel said, trying to comfort her.

Haley looked at her skeptically. "I thought you said that nearly everything of actual value was out of his apartment," she said.

"He didn't take you," Nathan whispered.

Haley wanted to believe that was true but was almost positive she wasn't a good enough reason for Nathan to leave New York and come back to Tree Hill.

* * *

"How was New York?" Lucas asked Nathan as Nathan emptied the boxes he had brought with him to New York.

He shrugged. "Okay. But Tree Hill is better."

"What about work?"

Another shrug as Nathan gently placed down a photo frame of him and his mother when he was really young. "Things are better here, in Tree Hill. New York is fine, but that job alone isn't enough to get me to uproot my life here," he confessed.

Lucas looked him over. "Did you come back because of Haley?" he asked.

Nathan stopped in his tracks. He tossed the empty box aside as he moved onto the next. "Why would you say that?" he asked.

"It's fairly obvious," Lucas informed him.

Nathan sighed. "If I left now…I would never be certain why I did. I would never know if it was because I was scared of telling Haley how I feel, or because I genuinely wanted to go to New York. I don't want to leave in that way," he told his best friend. He placed down something else haphazardly. He looked up at Lucas. "How do I make this right?"

Lucas sighed, thinking about it. "Well, that depends on what you want to have happen. You have control over everything that you do. What you do affects how Haley will react," he said. He studied Nathan. "How do you want her to react?"

* * *

Haley examined her reflection in the mirror as she straightened out her hair. Something felt different about her.

The last time she had thoroughly examined herself, she remembered her very reflection.

It was the day she had met Nathan; the day she had gotten engaged to Clay. She found it funny that the former came to mind before the latter, since typically, getting engaged would've been a bigger deal.

She remembered looking at herself in the mirror. She was a little thinner than she was now, and her hair was curled, her eye makeup done to perfection and her lips a ruby red. She was wearing a bronze, gold, silver, and black tie-dye dress. She had diamond earrings in her ear. There was a small hickey, barely noticeable unless you were really looking, on the right side of her neck. She was taller because of the heels on her feet, which she feared would cause blisters, but didn't care, since she loved the shoes anyway.

Now, she was wearing a red dress with a black cardigan over it. Her face looked tired, but she somehow managed to look pretty. Her face was bare and fresh-faced and Haley had no intention of putting on makeup now. She was also free of jewelry. She looked down for a moment at her bare feet, the silver nail polish on her toes beginning to peel off.

There was a firm knock on the door. Haley broke out of her cross-examination of herself to go get it. She was shocked when she saw Nathan standing there.

Confused, angry, happy, sad, speechless, love…all the emotions were coming back to her now, as she faced him.

"Nathan? What are you doing here?" Haley asked, her voice shaky.

Nathan sighed, staring her in the eyes. "Can I please talk to you? I have a lot I need to say, that I should've said a long time ago," he said.

Haley moved aside, letting him into the apartment. Since her breakdown, she had cleaned the glass and other casualties of her temper. She closed the door to the apartment and faced him. However, her expression was blank and her arms were crossed over her chest.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. If I hurt you, or if I made you upset, or if I confused you. I'm sorry about all of it," he confessed.

She bit her lip, her body not moving except for the rise and fall of her chest. "Go on," she prompted.

"I really did go to New York for work. But I couldn't do it. I just felt like things were…wrong. I left things in a bad state. I should've fixed them. And I wanted to tell you that I'm not the one who can stay still like you claim I am. I'm not the wiser one. I'm not the one who could have dealt with this all. You are," he told her.

Her display of emotion was unwavering and stoic, but inside, curiosity stirred and she wondered where this was going.

"And then, there was this one night in New York that made me realize something. It made me remember something really important in our relationship, whatever it is. I looked up at this one spot in New York that you could actually see the stars. And they reminded me so much of that night that I flew out to Paris to help you," he said, reminiscing about it himself.

The words lingered in her ears, her eyes filling with emotion. With her body language, she told him to go on.

He continued with his recollection of flying to Paris. "I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean when I had an epiphany—"

Haley interrupted him, speaking finally. "An epiphany? Who even uses that word? It sounds so archaic," she said.

He scoffed. "Look who's talking, Thesaurus. Anyway, I had an epiphany. As I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean, seeing the light reflecting from New York City, I realized that those lights were only paralleled by the sparkle in your eyes."

Haley's heart swelled with each word.

"And I realized then that I loved you."

Haley stared him in his eyes—his gorgeous blue eyes—for a moment, before she tore her gaze away, opting instead to focus on the wall of her apartment, which hadn't been painted over and was a simple wall of bricks.

Nathan reached out for her, touching her shoulder. Haley looked up at him, shivering in shock.

"I've been thinking about it ever since Paris," he confessed.

She couldn't find any rational thought. She had no idea what to say to him.

He sighed sadly. "I guess now that I've told you, there's nothing left for me here," he said, before beginning to walk towards the door, which Haley was still standing by.

Haley stood, numb, as his fingers grasped the doorknob and he started to open the door. She quickly snapped out of her reverie, beating him to the door before he could leave. She used her arm to slam the door closed, almost severing his fingers in the process.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. Her movements were sudden and choppy. She looked up at him. "Don't go," she pleaded weakly.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Haley had exchanged pleasantries with Nathan, offering him coffee (which he accepted), but not actually saying anything.

"Haley, was there a reason you wanted me to stay?" Nathan asked, cutting through the veneer of normalcy Haley was trying to create.

She sighed, looking down. She was scared to look him in the eyes when she made her confession. "I've been thinking about what I told you when I told you about Liam. I didn't want it to change things between us. But I felt better after it happened."

Nathan closed his eyes, wanting to press images of Haley with some guy he didn't know. "Do you really think that I want to think about that after telling you what I said when I first got here?" His question came with no bite to it; it sounded like there was only an undertone of sadness.

"I wanted to try and find a way to fix myself. I meant what I said. Liam was a rebound. And I kept hoping over and over that you'd understand that because I didn't want to hurt you," she said very gently.

"Nathan…" she began. "I think I love you."

Nathan looked up at her and they locked eyes with one another for what was probably the first time since Nathan had come into her apartment.

He opened his mouth to speak before she leaned over the table and kissed him again, very tenderly, and very slowly.

They both took a moment to look into one another's eyes, not exchanging words. Then, one kiss turned to two which turned to a few more until the air became essential.

Haley felt the colour rise to her cheeks. "I've been wanting to do that again for nine months," she whispered.

She pulled away from him while he stared at her. "Really?" he asked as if things were too good to be true.

She nodded while looking down. "I didn't know what to do. I assumed that things could never work because I was pregnant and…I was just really scared," she said finally. He leaned over the counter and touched her hair tenderly, brushing it away from her eyes. "And I guess I was using Liam because I wanted to be over Clay. For good. Because I didn't want to still be pining for him, especially when you were getting back in my life," she explained.

"Are you still thinking about him?" he inquired cautiously.

She thought about it, shaking her head. "How can I not? Every time I look at our son I am reminded of him but…I don't care about him anymore," she insisted. She touched his hand, which was still lingering in her hair. "Please say something," she pleaded again.

She looked devastatingly adorable at the moment. He sighed. "I care about you, but…I really don't know if you're ready to move on, or if you even truly want to move on with me."

"I just want to be with you, Nathan And I just want to be with you at the moment; no pretenses."

"I don't want to hurt you—"

"Love is taking that risk. I feel like I've been hurting more waiting around and not telling you how I really feel," Haley explained. "If you don't want to—"

She was interrupted abruptly by another sudden, unexpected, but passionate kiss on the lips. Both became more carefree, their lips separating so Nathan could stand right beside her. He raked his fingers through her beautiful, blonde wavy hair. His hands moved to the small of her back. She had her hands on his face. She was taken by surprise when he lifted her up and placed her on an empty spot on the counter.

She moved her arms so they were around his neck as they continued to kiss. She felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

They finally pulled away after some minutes later. Haley brushed her thumb back and forth on the back of Nathan's neck, while his hands were on her waist. Haley leaned in while biting her lip so her forehead and nose were pressed gently against his.

"I've been waiting for this since the first time I saw you," he disclosed quietly.

She nodded slightly. "I think I have, too."

* * *

_To be honest, I'm pretty surprised that you guys didn't dislike me more for the whole Liam/Haley thing. I just want to know whether you guys are enjoying these chapters or not, it seems like from the lack of feedback I've been getting recently, that you don't seem to enjoy the past chapters, and would rather prefer the present time ones. If you don't like the past chapters, I do apologize but it is crucial especially in this story as it builds and shows the character's growth and the relationships before their ultimate downfall i.e Peyton & Brooke's friendship, Naley's breakup, Jake & Peyton's relationship etc... Anyway, let me know what your thoughts are and what you prefer reading (past or present chapters). _

**_dianehermans: _**_what do you mean? _

_**thibbs65: **thank you! I don't like it either, but like I mentioned before it would not be realistic for Haley to jump right into Nathan's arms after ending her relationship with Clay. It is understandable as a young twenty-year-old you might at least have a one night stand lol. I think it's easier for Haley to sleep with a complete stranger she knows no strings attached simply because there are no feelings involved, whereas with the kiss eight months with Nathan it was more complicated because of the unspoken feelings that were lingering beneath. I think she's just so frustrated with everything that she takes her anger out on Peyton because they lived together for a while, and don't worry Clay will be back, his storyline is not finished! _

* * *

_Next chapter, someone spills the beans to Nathan, Haley tries to contact Nathan, some Team Lucas-Brooke-Nathan, you might get pissed at Rachel, more baby Anna, Lathan moments, and that's about it. Whoops, I spoiled the entire chapter. Not really. I'm going to shut up now._

_Thanks for reading! __Until next time!** -Sidney **_


	9. Chapter 9

_"We accept the love we think we deserve."_

_-Stephen Chbosky_

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**January 16, 2007**

Peyton looked over things one last time for Haley. She showed her a list which was on the refrigerator.

"And those are the emergency numbers. There's money in the cookie jar with twenty dollars for pizza," Peyton told Haley.

Haley scoffed. "I think I can manage, Peyton. I'm not in high school; I'm not doing this for minimum wage," she reminded her.

"Good, because I wasn't planning on paying you. Consider this tribute for the time I held back your hair _all day_ when you decided it would be a good idea to eat three half-gallon containers of ice cream in one day. To make it worse, your lactose intolerance was acting up," she said.

Haley rolled her eyes. "You're never going to get over that, are you?"

"Nope. But thanks for watching Anna on my date with Jake," Peyton said as she began to put on some heels. She stood and walked towards the door, opening it. She stopped while it was ajar. "And I would normally say no boys allowed, but I think you and Nathan are adorable, and I trust you not to do anything inappropriate with Anna around," she added.

"Okay, Peyton. You should probably go before you get ahead of yourself. We'll be fine. I'll take good care of Anna," Haley promised.

She ushered Peyton out the door before she walked into Anna's nursery, picking her up and rocking her.

* * *

Anna was such a lovable little girl.

Except for when she wasn't.

Haley was trying to coax Anna into eating, but the feat seemed to be near impossible, as the little girl was smart enough to swiftly avoid any food Haley had tried to give her. Peyton had suggested earlier that if she wouldn't eat the pureed foods, to try and give her formula, but she didn't want that either.

Haley sighed as someone knocked on the door. She gave up, getting up to get the door. She allowed Nathan, who was standing there, to come in. Normally, she would've given him a small kiss, but she was too frustrated by Anna's unwillingness to comply with her attempts. Nathan followed her inside. Anna smiled at Nathan.

"I can't get her to eat anything," Haley said, the frustration peeking out.

"Do you want me to help you?" he asked.

Haley shrugged. "Go right ahead. Good luck getting her to put anything in her mouth. I've been trying for like half an hour and she—"

Haley stopped midsentence when she saw Nathan feeding Anna with ease. It was like she was looking at the eighth wonder of the world.

"How did you manage to do that?" she asked in amusement.

He shrugged. "Maybe you're trying too hard," he teased.

Haley nudged him in the arm, playing along. "Hey!" she exclaimed. She sighed as she sat down next to him and across from Anna. "I realize that I may not be the most motherly person, and I probably shouldn't have children anytime soon. But you don't have to rub it in," she said with mock annoyance and disdain.

"Don't be ridiculous. You would probably make a great mother," he replied. Secretly, he was glad that Haley was able to make jokes so soon, though he knew that she was probably still thinking of her son.

She sighed as she looked at Anna, who was studying Nathan carefully. "Right now, I think I'm just content with being Anna's aunt," Haley said finally.

Nathan nodded. He could understand that.

"Peyton actually just asked me if I would be her godmother," she announced.

"Really? That's great, Haley," he said as he fed Nathan another spoonful of food. "You must be so excited."

She smiled. "I am. I love her so much." She was staring at Anna, who was still staring at Nathan intently with her big hazel eyes. "You know, she's really fascinated by you," she informed Nathan. "Almost as much as I am."

Nathan smiled brightly at her. He pecked her quickly on the lips.

"What was that for?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing; for being you," he supposed. "Why? Do I need a reason to kiss you?" he asked jokingly.

She shrugged. "Clay always made me feel like everything he did for me, even kissing, had to have a justified reason. Like…I had to do something to earn it," she explained as she wiped away some food from Anna's cheek.

"You don't have to do anything but be yourself for me," he announced, entranced by her beauty. "If anything, I'm the one who's lucky to have you," he insisted.

Haley didn't say anything, but got up and picked up Anna. "I'm not having this argument with you right now," she responded with a discreet smile.

"What argument?"

She shrugged. "I just know that your statement is wrong, but I know that if I call you out on it, you're going to unremittingly deny it. Even though it's true," she answered.

"I'm right," he said stubbornly.

"No, I am. I'm the lucky one," she retorted playfully.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Hales. But I'm right."

She proceeded to pat Anna on the back, rocking her gently, and walking into her room. She looked around the room quickly. She remembered when Peyton first started living in the apartment that the room was bare and devoid of life. Now, it was bright, with baby toys present in nearly every corner of the room.

Haley placed Anna down gently in her crib, smiling as the little girl giggled. She reached out for a toy which was in her crib, snuggling up to it. Within a matter of minutes, the little girl succumbed to sleep. Haley smiled. Through the whole time, she hadn't realized Nathan was watching her from the doorway. She almost jumped as she saw him standing behind her.

"God, you scared me!" she said quietly, before brushing past him and into the living room. Nathan followed her, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Haley walked over to the dining room table, sitting for a moment before picking up a deck of cards. "Do you want to play a game?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Sure. What do you want to play?"

"Do you know how to play BS?" she asked.

"Doesn't everyone?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile as she took the cards out, beginning to shuffle them with ease, pulling a bunch of fancy card tricks on the deck.

"What, did you aspire to be a blackjack dealer?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I had a boyfriend in high school who was completely the opposite of what my parents would've wanted: he was a professional poker player. Or, he was working at it," she explained.

Nathan laughed. "But he's a professional," he insisted.

Haley rolled her eyes. "You're right. He was a professional. Anyway, I picked up some things from him," she explained.

"I'm sorry, I can't picture you dating a poker player. Did he have a bunch of tattoos? Piercings?" he asked.

She thought about it. "He had a lot of tattoos and a piercing in his left ear. I don't even think I was attracted to him. I was just attracted to the notion of dating someone my parents didn't like. And then, when I got to college, I realized that they didn't want me dating guys like that for a reason. And I don't mean guys who looked like him. I mean guys who just don't care about anything," she said as she began to deal the cards. She looked up at him as she placed the last card in his deck. "In fact, compared to the guys I was seeing in high school and college, you'd be a saint. Even if you do have a tattoo," she teased with a smirk.

"So now I'm meeting your parents? And how do you know if I have a tattoo?" he inquired as he picked up the cards.

She smiled. "I'm just being hopeful; that's all." Her smile faded to a smirk.

Haley was caught in a trance as she stared at him. "You're an amazing person, you know that?" she asked finally.

He looked up at her as he put down two cards. "Two twos," he said.

"You're amazing, but BS. I have three," she said.

He shrugged. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice," he answered.

"I should've realized you really can't play BS with two people. Do you want to see what else Peyton has? I think there are Monopoly and Scrabble in her closet," Haley said, averting her eyes from him as she took the cards on the table.

"Monopoly takes too long," he replied. "Let's play Scrabble."

Haley nodded before going off to get it. She returned with the board game and placed it on the table.

"Prepare to be beaten to a pulp," she teased.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Confident, aren't we? You should know I'm undefeated at this game."

* * *

About seven rounds and two or three glasses of wine into the game, Haley examined the board before determining which move she would make. She finally put down the word "scamper", putting her a few points ahead of Nathan.

"Your turn," she announced with a smirk as she calculated the points.

Nathan examined her, looking down at his tiles. In no amount of time, he came up with "syllabus", reaching the triple word score and the double letter score on the letter "A", giving him forty-two points, plus fifty points for the bingo bonus, pushing him way ahead of Haley, as this round, he scored ninety-two points.

"Boom," he said simply. "Ninety-two points. Beat that."

Haley scowled as she double and triple checked him, but found that he was correct. "You got lucky this time," she mumbled.

He shook his head and fished around the bag for more tiles.

* * *

After a few more gruelling rounds and two more glasses of wine, the game was over. Haley threw the pencil down in defeat.

"Fine. You won. _This time,_" she argued.

He rolled his eyes. "Admit it, Haley. You're inferior to me at this game," he teased.

She scoffed. "You got lucky and I haven't played in almost a year. No big deal," she insisted.

Nathan simply laughed. His smile was infectious and Haley found herself smiling again. Her phone buzzed against the table. She picked it up and glanced at it, her smile fading and being replaced by a scowl.

This did not go unnoticed by Nathan, as he noticed that her phone had been buzzing throughout their game. "Is someone bothering you, Hales?" he asked.

She shrugged, beginning to pick up the tiles. "Someone told Clay that I was pregnant and he's been bothering me. Especially recently," she explained warily.

"How recently?"

"The last month or so. I don't know if he knows that I had the baby," she revealed.

Nathan looked at her, his eyes filled with concern. "You have to tell him."

She sighed. "I know. But I don't even want to look at him, Nathan. I don't even want to _think _about him. I just want to forget."

She closed the bag and placed all of the contents of the game back in the box before turning to Nathan. "Nathan…help me forget," she said.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" he asked wearily, worried about where this was going.

"I just want to remember what it's like to laugh again and be happy. And you're the person who I think would help me the most," she confessed quietly as she went into Peyton's room to put back the board.

Nathan thought about it as he heard someone fumbling with the doorknob and knew immediately it was Peyton.

Haley walked back in the room about the same time Peyton walked in. Peyton sighed as she sat down on the couch, taking off her heels.

"Hey, Peyton. How was your date?" Haley asked.

Peyton threw her shoes on the floor and sighed. "Great! How was yours?" she looked a little bit glassy-eyed, a pretty clear indicator that she was likely a little bit tipsy.

Haley turned the slightest shade of pink. "I wasn't on a date," she murmured.

Nathan took that as his cue to leave. "I think I'd better show myself the way out. Goodbye, Peyton." He turned to Haley, smiling at her. "Bye, Hales."

As soon as the door clicked shut, Peyton broke out into a devious smile. "Aww…you're both so adorable! So how did that date go?" she asked.

Haley rolled her eyes. "There really was no date. We just stayed here while Anna was sleeping and played Scrabble."

Peyton raised her eyebrow. "Haley! I never pictured you guys doing it in someone else's apartment. Though truth be told, I'm not that grossed out by it, unless you did it in my bed."

"Peyton!" Haley exclaimed incredulously. "What are you talking about? We didn't do anything."

"I know what playing Scrabble is code for. It's code for Rock, Paper, Take Off All Your Clothes," she mumbled.

Haley shook her head. "You need to go to sleep. I'm not bringing the horse tranquillizer tomorrow," Haley warned before she brought Peyton to bed.

* * *

Haley was channel surfing later that night when her phone buzzed. She was fearing another text from Clay but instead received one from Nathan.

_Do you want to go out sometime?_

Haley contemplated this. She decided to tease him some by dragging this out forever.

_Like on a date? A romantic one?_

She realized she was being cruel, not to mention that Nathan had been waiting forever for something like this to happen, but figured he might as well know he was possibly getting involved with a sadist.

_Yes. You can say no if you don't want to go._

She smiled at his sweetness. How could she refuse?

_I would love to go on a date with you. Just say when and where and I'll be there._

She cringed at how cheesy that sounded but got a reply quickly.

_I thought maybe we could meet at Panino. That one that we first went out to? Is Wednesday at six a good time?_

Haley made a mental note to cancel anything she might've scheduled for that day.

_It sounds perfect. I'll see you then._

* * *

Haley paused in the mirror as she observed herself in the mirror.

God, why was she such a perfectionist?

She fixed the red sundress she was wearing, wondering if the dark red shade of red on her lips was too dramatic. She wondered if her heels made this feel like too much of a formal date. She felt kind of over-done for this simple first date.

But she wanted to make an impression. She wanted to make him say, "Wow."

_He's going to say it, anyway. He already loves you. You don't need to try with him._

The voice in her head, for once, was right. Haley didn't want to admit it, but she knew, deep down, that this was the truth.

* * *

Nathan paced back and forth in his apartment, stressing over this first date with Haley.

He was excited, to say the least since he had been waiting for this for ages, but he couldn't help but wonder whether he would really screw things up. That was his biggest fear.

He walked into the room filled with all the paintings. For a moment, he wondered whether this was normal, or if someone would see his pictures as a creepy gesture, making him out to be a stalker.

He tried to shake the uncertainty.

Something, however, caught his eye.

He had a great idea.

* * *

Haley took a deep breath before she opened the door and walked into the diner, looking for Nathan. She spotted him and walked over.

Nathan stood, pulling out her chair and helping her into her seat. She smiled. At the risk of causing Susan B. Anthony to turn over in her grave, she wasn't all too unhappy to see that chivalry was still alive and well. It wasn't something that Haley was used to—having a man show such a simple gesture of affection.

Nathan gave her a bunch of white orchids. Haley figured that he really liked her since he was pulling out all the stops. She took them graciously.

"Nathan…they're beautiful. Thank you," she said.

He gazed at them, then at Haley. "They're still not as beautiful as you," he replied quietly. "I looked up their meaning. White orchids mean delicate beauty. Like you," he explained.

Haley didn't even try to contain her blush.

_It was you all along._

* * *

As the end of their date was approaching, both of them didn't want it to end. They were avoiding the topics, veering off into other ones, ordering multiple cups of coffee so they'd have another excuse to stay.

Neither one ever felt the need to make a conversation. There was never a need for talking, as there was this unspoken agreement that they were content with each other's company. It was a sight that could make even the most cold-hearted person smile.

"You do realize that we will eventually have to leave, right?" she said, breaking him out of his childlike laughter.

"I know," he answered somewhat sadly.

She smiled optimistically. "But that doesn't mean that this date has to end." Her words were coated in the same childlike veneer.

"What are you saying?" he inquired.

She shrugged. "A rematch? I've been brushing up on the dictionary and my Q-without-U words," she informed him.

He sighed. "I don't know. Do you really want to put yourself through the pain of losing again?" Nathan asked playfully.

"Who are you calling the loser?"

* * *

Haley watched Nathan place the tiles down as she held a glass of wine to her lips, not drinking any.

"Yellowing. That's twenty-one. Times three is sixty-three. I think that would push me way ahead of you," he said with a smug expression.

She bit her lip as she placed the glass down. He was _crushing her, _and it was his first turn. She had, unfortunately, gotten a bunch of vowels that were utterly useless, and the only decent word she could form was "yell".

She nodded, trying to keep the disappointment off her face. "So it's seven and sixty-three, you. But things could still turn around."

He flashed her a smile, which she found infectious. She gave in and smiled. "Fine. I've finally met my match with this game. I admit it," she said. "But for the record, you're the only other person I've played who hasn't been completely crushed."

"I can deal with being the only one."

_For everything._

She nodded in agreement. She looked down at her tiles when her phone buzzed. Admittedly, Nathan looked more nervous than she did.

She looked at the phone and placed it back down, her expression unwavering. Nathan looked at her with concern. "Was that Clay again?" he asked cautiously.

She shook her head. "No. I sorted that out. He shouldn't be calling again, ever," she replied brusquely. She sighed as she looked down at the tiles again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with some kind of emotion. "What is there to talk about?" she asked innocently.

"A lot of things. How do you feel about it all?" Nathan asked.

Haley looked into the depths of his blue eyes, the windows to his soul, and saw how much he cared and how genuine he was about it all. "I don't know. It's weird. I feel sort of…alone. And I know it's because I've been pushing people away throughout all of this, but I regret it now. Things just don't feel the same with Peyton or Brooke or…anybody, really," she confessed.

"Things are different now. _You're _different," he agreed cautiously.

She nodded. "I'm different," she repeated. "I don't know if that's good or bad anymore."

"It can be a good thing."

"How do you feel about the new Haley?" she inquired nervously. She felt her nails digging into her palm as she waited for an answer.

He thought about it for a moment. "I think she's just as amazing as the old one. She's still Haley. She's just more…grounded and observant," he answered, picking out his adjectives carefully.

She laughed. "Are you saying I was stuck-up and ignorant before?" she asked. From the tone of her voice, he could tell she was joking.

He shook his head. "Not at all. I'm just saying that you've learned from what you've been through," Nathan answered with a smile.

* * *

A week later, Haley and Nathan were both leaving the restaurant that they had gone to for their second date.

"Do you maybe want to see that Hitchcock double feature next week? They're playing Psycho and The Birds at the classic movie theatre in town," he suggested.

Haley was about to bring up how Clay used to hate that movie theatre but bit her tongue. She didn't know how to answer.

"I used to love those old movies and I used to watch them a lot. I even remembered watching Psycho for the first time with my mom. She loved thrillers," he said.

Haley looked over at him, and she nodded. She wanted to talk about his family. She wanted to talk about her family. She wanted to talk about everything with him. "I'd love to go see that with you next week," she answered with a smile.

And once more, Haley was caught up in his dazzling blue eyes.

* * *

The car ride home consisted of about a minute of awkward silence. But then, Nathan turned on the radio. Some classic rock music came on.

"Do you really listen to this station?" she asked in disbelief. The only person she knew who listened to this station was her father in his wannabe-cool dad phase. It was an old station where they pretty much played the same ten songs all the time.

"What? You don't like rock music?" he inquired with mirrored disbelief.

She shook her head. "I like it. But the only person I know, or knew, who listened to this station was my father when he was going through his weird phase," she explained.

"Well, I'm not your dad, and we don't have to listen to it if you don't want to," he said, reaching out to turn off the radio.

Haley reached out, her hand touching his. He didn't pull away, nor did she. Eventually, he put both hands back on the steering wheel. "Don't change it. I like it," she said with a smile.

Nathan smiled, turning back to the road.

* * *

Haley sighed as they walked into her apartment. Months ago, if someone had told her that she would've been walking into her apartment, which she had _alone_, coming back from a second date with Nathan Scott, and she was already absolutely certain that she loved him, she would've laughed.

Then again, she was a different person a year ago. One year earlier, she never would've thought of being alone. She would've liked to have believed that Clay would be there for her, unconditionally. She also wouldn't have thought to have fallen in love after two dates.

Three months ago, Haley wouldn't have ever pictured such a beautiful moment. She would've figured that she was a lost cause when it came to love. She was already impregnated by someone, having their child. She would likely never meet a man who wanted anything more than just sex, simply because of that fact alone. And never in a million years would she have thought that she'd be on a date with Nathan. Secretly, she had hoped for it, but it never crossed her mind that her dream might have come true.

Now, it all felt so natural to her.

"Thank you for bringing me home. I had a lot of fun tonight," she said. "Do you want coffee?" she asked, already walking over to the quintessential coffee pot.

Nathan looked at her but sighed. "I'm sorry. I can't I have a lot to do tomorrow. I wish I could stay," he answered lustfully.

Haley found it endearing, his blue eyes seemed lost in thought. Still, she pouted. "Maybe some other time?" she asked.

"If we're still on for the double feature, I'm pretty sure that's an empty week for me, for the most part," he announced, acting as if he really were thinking about it in his mind.

She smiled and nudged him. "You're such a tease," she said.

Haley walked him to the door, saddened at the idea of him leaving. "Hey, Nathan?" she called out as he was about to leave.

He turned all his attention on her.

"Do you think it's possible to be in love after two dates?" she asked quietly.

"I'd say it feels as though we were dating for a lot longer," he answered honestly.

She nodded slightly. "I know, but…it feels crazy."

"Love is crazy," he reminded her.

She nodded with a smile. Their love was insanity but…it was her clarity, too. "I'll see you next week," Haley answered as she was about to watch him leave.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

She nodded with a nervous smile. Nathan bent down to give her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I was hoping you'd finally ask me that."

And for the first time, the past was the past.

* * *

_Seven Months Later..._

**August 16, 2007**

"You look really beautiful, Rachel," Haley commented as she watched Rachel fix her hair for the thousandth time in the mirror.

Rachel sighed. "I know how you feel about Tara, but you would be _so _wrong if you had seen her this past week before her wedding. She just went completely bridezilla," Rachel insisted as she fixed the part once more. Haley slapped her hand. "Ow! What was that for?" she demanded.

"If you touch your hair one more time, I will cut your hand off. You're ruining it," Haley scolded, fixing the locks she had spent so much time perfecting already. "And I seriously doubt that Tara could ever be that bad. She's the best and she's so sweet."

"To you. I've had the pleasure of being around her a lot this entire week, and it's been hell and back," Rachel responded.

Haley laughed. She stepped back to look at Rachel. "You look beautiful," she repeated. "You really do."

Rachel smiled at her. "Nathan is one lucky guy. You look _hot_, Haley," she insisted.

Haley blushed just thinking about it. She looked down at her dress. It had a short, flared skirt that reached about an inch above her knee. It was a sleeveless halter dress which was a deep, rich carmine colour.

Rachel glanced at the clock on the wall. "Come on, Hales. We're going to be late and Tara is going to have my head on a guillotine."

Haley looked at the clock and saw that they still had about an hour to get to the church which was thirty minutes away in Charlotte. "We still have time."

Rachel looked at Haley in amusement. "You, Haley James, claiming we don't have to leave yet? From what Brooke told me, thirty minutes early is late in your book. Is this the work of my best friend?" she asked, referring to Nathan.

"Maybe," Haley said. Her cheeks were about to match the same red as her dress. "Look, I'd appreciate it very much if you would stop scrutinizing my relationship."

Rachel smirked. "I think it's cute, Haley. You're still, oddly, in that honeymoon phase. Even though it's been seven months since you guys made it official," she commented. "I guess Nathan will just have to wait to see you when we get to the church because I'm stealing you for now," she said.

Haley nodded. "Are you and Nathan walking down the aisle together? Should I be jealous?" she teased.

"Like the first time, you saw us together?"

Now that Haley knew Rachel was a in a relationship, she felt silly every time she looked back on that memory; the memory she had of first meeting Rachel and Nathan. "I'm sorry. I didn't know!"

"I just want to let you know that dating Nathan would be like dating my brother. He practically _is _my brother. I'd never date him. But I don't think that Nathan is looking to date anyone else now," Rachel teased.

"Hey, stop it. I don't want to hear more about any of your crazy theories. The entire group has been driving the both of us crazy about _everything_," Haley said, being certain to use a very general term as not to give Rachel any ideas.

Rachel smiled. "You mean about you and Nathan getting engaged?"

Haley frowned. "Yeah. That," she grumbled. "Why are you so dead set on me and Nathan getting married? Wasn't this discouragement enough? If someone as cool as Tara can get all bent out of shape over her wedding, imagine what _I _would be like," she added.

"I'm thinking about the long-term. You know: cute Naley babies and a quaint little house for the two of you and your kids. And you'll probably have _a lot _of kids," Rachel said.

"You sound just like Brooke and I never pegged you for being dirty-minded, Rachel," Haley answered.

Rachel paused. "I wasn't insinuating anything." She turned to Haley "Are you?"

Haley froze and was certain her cheeks matched the colour of her dress.

"You dirty girl. But now that you mention it, I'm sure he's great in the sack. Is he?" she inquired absentmindedly.

Haley closed her lips tightly. "I wouldn't know. We haven't…done it," she disclosed reluctantly.

Rachel's mouth hung open slightly. "Are you planning on getting lucky tonight?" she asked with piqued curiosity.

Haley smiled. "We'll see. Maybe," she answered with a seemingly innocent smile.

* * *

Haley sat at the front of the church. Tara had asked for her to be right there weeks prior. Haley thought it was a kind gesture.

She stood as people began to walk down the aisle. First came down Shane, the groom. Haley had only met him once or twice, but he was a great person and she liked him a lot. Next came down two sets of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then, Rachel came down by herself. Lastly, Nathan walked down with Tara. Tara was beaming as she walked to her soon-to-be-husband. What Haley realized was that Nathan was staring at her the entire time. Haley realized with some kind of embarrassment that she had only briefly glanced at Tara since she and Nathan walked in the room. She was locking eyes with him for most of the ceremony and only looked up when the rings were being exchanged and when Tara and Shane kissed for the first time as a married couple.

Nathan and Haley lingered in the church as most of the guests went outside to follow them. There were still a couple standing there, as if they were waiting for something else to happen, though it didn't.

"We should probably go," Nathan whispered quietly as he came very close to Haley. She took his hand and nodded.

"It was a beautiful ceremony," Haley commented absentmindedly as they got outside just in time to see the two off.

Nathan nodded in agreement. They both smiled at Tara and Shane, both with smiles spread wide across their faces.

* * *

Haley leaned her head against her arm, which was resting on the back of her seat as she watched the couple dance along with a few others. She sighed. She felt like a young, naïve girl, watching beautiful, older, wiser women dance in their high heels and fancy dresses. She remembered wanting to be like them when she was younger.

"Do you want to dance, Haley?"

Haley turned her head in surprise to look at Nathan. "I thought you said that you didn't dance. You never liked it. You didn't even dance at your high school prom," Haley recalled as if she were there with him.

Nathan shrugged. "I know you like it. And for you, I'll do it."

The corners of her mouth formed into a smile, and she took his outstretched hand.

"I'm warning you that I haven't danced like this in a while and I'm probably terrible," Haley warned him as he led her to the floor.

He pushed back a loose strand of hair. "I don't think there's anything that you're bad at. And trust me, I'm the bad one," he said before kissing her lightly on the lips.

Before Nathan, she hated when people used PDA. But now that she had him…well, could you really blame her? They were one of those couples who were fond of PDA, and people often found it disgusting in a cute way.

Before Nathan, she wasn't a lot of things. He changed her for the better.

Haley leaned her head against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat, which reminded her of how much shorter she was. When she was with Clay, she was about the same height as him in heels (one thing which completely angered him). She was pretty tall at 5'5". But Nathan was much taller at 6'4", a height she still wasn't in her highest heels.

"I hate that you're taller than me," she said with a slight pout. Though most people would've been angered at her temperament, Nathan found it cute.

"Can I tell you a secret, Haley? It's actually better than you're so much shorter than me," Nathan told her.

Haley looked up at him, not amused. "Really? I'd like to know how."

"When you and I hug, you can hear the heart which only beats for you," Nathan told her before kissing her on the forehead.

Haley smiled. "You're so cheesy and I love you for it," she said before she kissed him sweetly on the lips.

* * *

Haley laughed as Nathan dragged her down the hall to their room. They were both wearing the biggest smiles on their faces.

As soon as they were both in the room, Haley tossed her clutch onto the bed and felt her lips press onto Nathan's in an instant. She involuntarily moaned as she felt her back press against the door, shutting it. Her heart raced as she felt Nathan's hand on her cheek, the other pressed against the door, trapping her right in front of him.

"Give me five minutes?" she asked, biting her lip.

Though Nathan didn't want to, it was impossible to resist anything Haley had to say. He sighed and nodded. "Don't keep me waiting too long, Hales," he teased.

She watched him walk into the main of the room, her legs going numb. She wasn't sure what exactly it was…maybe his flirty nature, or how he called her "Hales", or just how he was so…Nathan. She let out a tiny sigh as she walked into the bathroom, removing her makeup and letting her hair out of its high ponytail. Even without her makeup, she felt so beautiful. It was likely because of Nathan. She ran the brush through her hair, then brushing her teeth before she walked back out. Before she even got a second to walk into the room, she felt herself being lifted off the ground and tossed over Nathan's shoulder. She yelped, but couldn't contain her laughter.

"What was that?" she asked through her laughter.

"You were taking _way _too long," he teased.

She pulled him by the collar of his shirt, dragging him closer to her. "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" she asked teasingly, her lips fractions of a centimetre away from his.

"Maybe. But I think you have some making up to do."

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, leaning back onto the bed and kissing him. As she went back for the second round of kisses, Nathan turned his head so she ended up kissing him on the cheek. She frowned.

"Don't you want me?" she asked innocently, her bottom lip sticking out.

He laughed at how cute Haley looked at that moment. He touched her cheek gently with his thumb. "Of course, I want you."

Haley felt her heart flutter a little in her chest.

"But are you sure you're ready?" he asked with concern.

She paused for a moment before nodding. She wrapped her arms around his neck, getting very close to his face again. "Remember what I told you seven months ago? After we played that game of Scrabble in Peyton's apartment, babysitting Anna? About how I wanted you to help me forget about Clay and all that crap I had to deal with? I want you to erase all the pain," she said, leaning into a kiss.

"Well, I think that might have been those six or seven glasses of wine you had talking," he teased.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm trying so hard to be romantic. You are not helping right now," she responded with a playful smile.

"Are you sure, Haley?" Nathan asked again.

She nodded. "I've never been surer about anything. I want you to make love to me, Nathan," she said softly. Her large brown eyes were filled with emotion, pleading. "Please, Nathan. I want to be with you in every which way."

For a moment, Nathan felt bad that Haley felt as though she had to beg him for this. He was extremely attracted to her. She was gorgeous. He met her lips in response. He pulled away before it could grow heated, looking her in the eyes. "I don't have anything," he informed her.

"I'm on the pill," she insisted. She pulled him closer.

_Since when is she on the pill? _She continued to kiss him. He couldn't recall a single instance which he ever saw Haley taking birth control, and he had stayed over her apartment a lot in the last few weeks.

Nathan's thoughts were silenced as Haley kissed him more passionately, as though she was demanding something. Haley smirked as she pulled away from him.

"What? Are you nervous someone's going to barge in? Lucky for us, Brooke isn't here and Peyton is hardly the type. And I chained the door," she teased before kissing him again. Her smirk faded. "Or do you not want to be with me?"

He shook his head incessantly. "No. I would love to be with you in that way," he responded, running his hand up her arm. "I don't want you to regret it afterwards," he insisted.

She scoffed. "Please. I've been dreaming about it since we started having sleepovers. Do you know how tempting it is when you're lying down next to me in only your boxers and I'm lying down next to you in only your shirts?" she questioned. "I've been—"

She was cut off by a deep, passionate kiss from Nathan. She began running her fingers through his hair.

"You talk way too much sometimes, Haley," he insisted before kissing her again.

She pulled away this time. "Did I mention that you make me feel stupid sometimes, I'm so love-struck?"

He nodded before kissing her again. "All the time. Not as much as I mention how gorgeous you are. Haley, you're so beautiful."

"Okay, Romeo, could you please just shut up and kiss me?" she demanded playfully.

He nodded, happy to comply with her demands. She pushed her back down into the large, plush pillows adorning the King-sized bed while kissing her. Her hand travelled down to the hem of his shirt, teasing him slowly as she touched his side so gently, pushing his dress shirt up and untucking it. His hands roamed from her cheek down the zipper, but not unzipping the dress.

"You're such a tease."

"So are you, Juliet."

She rolled her eyes and continued to kiss him. She unbuttoned his shirt quickly, desperate for the feel of his skin against hers. He proceeded to unzip the back of her dress, touching the bare skin on her back. She shivered at the contact. She felt chills go from his fingertips up and down her spine. The chills only increased as he began to place tender kisses from her jaw to her earlobe to the base of her neck. She bit her lip, trying to avoid any embarrassing moans or involuntary whimpers. She tried to steady her unstable hands so she could remove his shirt. She kissed him as she finally tossed it aside. She also began to pull up his wife-beater (and was so mesmerized by him that she didn't even make a mental note to question that name). Nathan slowly pulled off her dress and tossed it mindlessly on the floor. Haley watched the red chiffon land on the floor beside his white dress shirt and added his undershirt to it. Nathan watched her examine it.

Haley pecked him sweetly on the lips. She played with his hands; they were large in hers.

It was as though Nathan could read her mind. She was almost asking him to touch her, to come closer. He pressed his lips against hers, holding her closer to him. Haley's hands travelled down to the waist of his pants, unbuckling his belt in haste. Nathan practically kicked off his pants. Haley slid under the sheets. She smirked as if she were daring him to come closer.

Nathan smiled and got under the sheets with Haley. He had one hand on her waist, the other playing with the strap of her bra. She was wearing a black and red lace bra and black lace boyshorts. Nathan was wearing black boxers.

Nathan couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she looked. She almost looked like an angel, wrapped in white sheets. Her hair was spilling out onto the bed, and she was looking at him with lust-filled brown eyes. Her lips were stained red from the bright lipstick she was wearing that day. Her eyelashes looked long, and Nathan's heart swelled at her brilliant smile that she was using _on him._

He was broken out of his reverie by Haley pulling him by the waistband of his boxers. She brought him closer to her. Her hands were on either side of his face, her thumb stroking his cheekbone. "Make love to me, Nathan," she repeated, her voice soft, yet seductive in an odd way. She bit her lip.

Nathan pulled her closer to him, kissing her with as much fervour and love as he could muster.

Haley laughed when the kiss was over, inching away from him for a second, so they were only connected by their hands, which were still intertwined together. "Call me crazy, but I'd say that you're happy to see me," she teased.

Nathan was glad that it was somewhat dark in their room since he felt a bit of colour rise to his cheeks. He came up with a witty comeback, a trait of Haley's that had rubbed off on him in the last months they were dating. "Just for that, Haley James, I'll get you back," he threatened.

She shook her head, kissing him aggressively. He ran his fingers roughly through her blonde curls, and she relished the feel of his bare skin making contact against hers. She clung onto him as he kissed her jaw. Her lips were right next to his ear.

"Nathan…I'm ready," she whispered quietly.

* * *

Haley rolled over, the light blinding her as she opened her eyes. She sighed, then groaned at the brightness. She rolled back over, finally realizing that Nathan was grasping onto her. Their legs were intertwined, both of them completely naked and covered only by the snow-white sheets on the bed. She snuggled back into his embrace, like the contact and the warmth. She could feel his hot skin on hers, and she smiled.

The smile faded when she felt him move. She looked up, seeing Nathan (unfortunately in his boxers now) walk across the room to get something. She frowned at the loss of contact.

"Why did you get up this morning? I miss laying next to you," Haley complained with a pout as she reached over and put Nathan's dress shirt from the previous night onto her small figure.

"This is going to sound really weird, but you look really good in my shirt," he commented flirtatiously.

Haley allowed Nathan to pull her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest.

"I need to tell you something, Nathan," she said, her eyes closing as she listened to his heartbeat.

He was the slightest bit concerned, but simply asked, "What?"

"I love you, so, so much," she said. It was barely audible, like a faint whisper. Nathan's heart melted a little. He already knew he could be hers, forever.

Nathan's thumb made circles on the small of Haley's back. "My heart is already yours, Hales," he replied, almost making a promise to her. "It will be, forever," he promised.

She smiled as she hugged him. "Thank you for last night. You were gentle and…it was amazing," she said, a blush creeping onto her face.

He brushed some stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I like waking up to you in my arms. Which is why I have to ask you something, Haley," he began seriously. Haley began to feel little butterflies. "I know it may be kind of soon and we've only been dating for seven months, but…will you move in with me?" he asked.

Haley was a little taken aback. That wasn't what she was expecting to hear from him. She was excited. Why was she so tongue-tied? She smiled. "I want to wake up every morning to your face and your blue eyes," she answered. She kissed him, bringing them both down on the pillows. One peck turned into two or three gentle kisses. Nathan's phone rang and Haley groaned.

"It's probably Rachel. I made her promise she'd call me as soon as she got to Miami," Nathan said before getting up to answer the phone.

Haley realized something as she watched Nathan pace back and forth, speaking to Rachel. She knew something she didn't know before she met him.

She knew what love felt like.

* * *

"Haley, how many boxes of shoes do you have? We might just have to go through your Louboutins, and I might just have to steal some," Brooke said as she dropped a box into Nathan's apartment, which was definitely big enough for the two of them.

Haley rolled her eyes. "They're not shoes, Brooke. They're books," she answered.

Brooke groaned. "Right. If it were Peyton, they'd probably be shoes. You're the boring one," she commented.

Haley glared at her, while Lucas walked past, bringing one of Haley's boxes into Nathan's—and soon, Haley's, as well—bedroom. That was the last of the boxes from Haley's apartment. All that was left to do was unpack and return the keys from her old apartment to the landlord.

"Brooke, can you help me unpack? I'm guessing that Luke doesn't want to sift through my clothes," Haley said, and Lucas immediately flashed a grateful smile.

Brooke groaned. "Hales, what makes you think that I'd want to look through your clothes, either? Some of it is so boring. Your clothing is so anal and refined," she commented.

"Well, on one of my mother's guilt-trips to New York, she went on a shopping spree down Fashion Avenue, and if you help me organize our closet, you can keep a pair of Manolos," Haley announced, knowing this would work.

Brooke looked her up and down. "Last season or this season?" she asked with her best poker face on.

"This season," Haley answered with a smirk. "Only the best for Lydia James."

Brooke glared at her. "Fine. But I get any pair of Manolos I want. And if you throw in a Rebecca Minkoff, I will colour coordinate yours and Nathan's closet," she said, sweetening the deal.

Haley extended her hand. "I think we have a deal."

Brooke shook it, smirking. "I think that my closet will be looking spruced up tonight."

* * *

"Haley! How could you put crimson next to maroon when it obviously goes next to carmine?" Brooke questioned as she grabbed a dress from my hand. She sighed as she put it in her proper spot. "Sweetie, I don't know what you'd do without me," she commented. Brooke brushed an unruly strand of chestnut-coloured hair away from her eye, stepping back to examine her work. She smiled at the result. "Consider this my early engagement present for the soon-to-be fiancés. You lovebirds make me sick."

Haley rolled her eyes. "What is with your obsessive need to put Nathan and I together? Why do you want us to get married so much?" she inquired.

"Because there are some couples who once the two people are together, you can tell that you're already in it for the long haul. You and Nathan are one of those couples. I personally think that Nathan should've done it the second he met you," Brooke said.

Haley was about to protest when there was a knock on the door. She simply stood there.

"Aren't you going to get it?" Brooke asked.

Haley snapped out of her little daydream. "Right. This is my apartment now, too," she said. Suddenly, she was a little calmer, simply thinking of him. "This is our apartment," she repeated.

Brooke pushed her out of another mini-daydream by shoving her towards the door. Haley stumbled as she made her way to the door. She looked through the peephole. She saw a girl with dirty blond-brown hair and blue eyes in front of the door. Brooke looked at her expectantly.

"Who is it?" she asked.

Haley shrugged, confused herself. "It's a girl."

"Uh-oh," Brooke murmured, already not liking where this is going.

Haley decided to open up. The girl looked a little surprised to see her.

"Can I help you?" Haley muttered. She was secretly hoping that if she was in any way connected to Nathan, she was a long lost sister or something. _Please don't let it be an ex…or worse…_

"Oh, I must have the wrong apartment. I'm looking for Nathan Scott," she commented.

Haley nodded slightly. "He lives here. He's not here right now." She tried to figure out what to say next. "Who are you?" she inquired as politely as she could possibly be.

"I've just been looking for him. When he gets back, can you give him this number and tell him that Lindsey is back in Tree Hill? I've been meaning to talk to him for a long time. I've put it off for too long," the girl said.

Haley took the number. She nodded slightly, not offering any emotion to this girl. She quickly closed the door.

"Who was she?" Brooke asked.

Haley shrugged, looking down at the number again. "She said her name is Lindsey and she asked me to give Nathan her number. She told me to tell him she was back in Tree Hill and that she needed to speak to him," she explained.

"Are you going to do it?" Brooke inquired.

"Why shouldn't I?"

Brooke sighed. Haley was so naïve. "It's probably an ex who wants to get back with Nathan! I mean, can you really blame her? He's hot and sweet. And you didn't even _mention_ that you're his _current _girlfriend!" Brooke scolded.

Haley suddenly began feeling more self-conscious. "I'm not going to keep this from Nathan. That'll just cause more trouble. Whatever happens, happens," she supposed.

Brooke became softer. "I didn't mean it like that, Hales. If she is an ex, they're exes _for a reason._ Nathan probably dumped her ass. Besides, she kind of gave off that bitchy vibe," she assured Haley.

Still, she was a little unsure of herself.

* * *

Haley was examining the piece of paper as if she hoped it would tell her something about this mysterious girl. All that was on the ripped out piece of notebook paper was a phone number, and the name "Lindsey".

She began thinking about what she could possibly want from Nathan and if she should be concerned. She didn't even hear the door open and someone walk in.

"Hales?"

Haley broke out of her reverie, looking up at Nathan. She smiled when she saw him, getting up off the couch. She hugged him before giving him a kiss.

"I could get used to coming home to you every day," Nathan jested.

Haley smiled. There was still doubt in her mind, going back to that stupid piece of paper. "I could get used to being there all the time," she said, sitting back down on the couch, trying to entice him. She finally just pulled him closer to her. She kissed him again. "I think you should take a shower," she began, before kissing him, and continuing, "and then we can have dinner…and then…well, I should probably stop before I get ahead of myself." She had a smirk on her face, and he knew exactly what she was insinuating.

Nathan kissed her once more. "We'll see. I'm going to take a shower now," he informed her. He noticed Haley was now in the mood for sex _all the time_, ever since their first time together. But he didn't really mind very much.

Haley watched him go. She still had no idea what to do about the dilemma. She sighed, trying to figure out what to do.

She heard the water come on in the bathroom and assumed Nathan was taking a shower. She walked over near the door. "Nathan? I think I'm going to get takeout. What do you want?" she asked.

"Whatever you want, Haley," he replied.

"Is Thai okay?" she asked.

"That's fine, Hales."

* * *

Haley walked into the apartment to see Nathan standing in the apartment, faced away from the door, clad in only a towel. It was clear he had just gotten out of the shower. Haley knew how he liked to take long showers.

She had this urge to rip his towel off right then and there. She put the bag down, certain he hadn't even heard her come in.

Nathan jumped when he heard the bag rustle. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand. The piece of paper Lindsey—whoever she was—handed her that afternoon.

"Nathan?" she asked with concern. She _really _hoped he wasn't angry.

He held the piece of paper up so she could see it. "How did you get this?" he asked. He didn't sound angry or upset. He just sounded…nervous.

"I was here with Brooke sorting through our clothes, putting my things away, and someone knocked on the door. I answered, and it was some girl named Lindsey? She said she wanted to see you, and she needed to say something. She wanted me to give you her phone number," Haley announced.

Nathan looked the number over before he ripped the paper twice.

"Nathan?"

Nathan sighed, sitting down on the couch. "Lindsey is my ex-girlfriend."

Haley was confused. Supposedly, when she met Nathan, he hadn't been in a serious relationship for quite some time. "Ex-girlfriend?" She tried her hardest not to come off as the jealous girlfriend, but was finding it increasingly hard, as she remembered how pretty this girl was…prettier than her.

"She was my girlfriend in high school, and we ended it two years ago. I ended it, actually. She was just…pushing me into things I wasn't comfortable with. I didn't want that," he explained.

Haley nodded, understanding. "I was going to tell you; I swear. I didn't really know how to, but I was going to during dinner, I guess," she said, her voice uncertain.

He nodded. After a moment of thinking, he brought her closer to him. "I don't want to talk about her anymore. I don't need her, and I don't want you to get nervous about this. I already have everything I could've ever wanted," he insisted before he kissed her.

Haley smiled as she kissed him back. "Now that that's out of the way, you can see how Brooke and I arranged the closet. She insisted on colour coordinating it," Haley told him.

Nathan groaned. "I'm scared, Haley."

Haley frowned. "Why? I promise it's not that bad. Brooke isn't nearly as anal about her clothes as I am," she promised. "Besides, now when you step into your closet, you'll remember that I live here now, too," she reminded him.

"How could I forget when I'm already warming up to the idea of waking up to you in my arms every morning and you haven't even spent your first night here?" he questioned, taking her hand as she pulled him towards _their_ room.

She smiled. "Have you forgotten that we've spent _several _nights here together since the wedding?" she teased.

"I could never forget that, but this will be your first night _living _here. This is the first night that this is your bedroom, that's your bed, this is your apartment," he reminded her.

"That this is also my closet?" she questioned.

Nathan nodded and sighed. "That this is your closet."

"Okay, I think I've done enough teasing. Can I just show you already? It's not that bad; I promise," she repeated for about the zillionth time.

"Just show me, Haley."

Haley opened the closet door and turned on the light. Lo and behold, their clothes were separated neatly; Nathan's side was on the right, and Haley's was on the left. Furthermore, Brooke had colour coordinated each side. Their shoes were lined up neatly on the closet floor. She even took the liberty of organizing the drawers according to colour and article of clothing. Needless to say, Brooke certainly earned those Manolos and that Rebecca Minkoff.

"It's not that bad, Nathan," Haley insisted.

"No, it's just…weird looking at it."

Haley raised her eyebrow. "Really? I thought it would've been more aesthetically pleasing. I mean, now the colour kind of shifts easily from one shade to another—"

Nathan cut her off with him shaking his head. "That's not why it's weird. It's…different seeing someone else's clothing in my closet."

Haley held her breath, biting her lip before he went on. "I like things being different. It's good," he added.

Haley exhaled a little sigh of relief. "Really? Good, because I was worried that maybe you were having second thoughts and—"

"Haley?"

She stopped herself. "What?"

"I could never have second thoughts about this. Also, one more thing."

She waited expectantly.

"You talk a lot," he commented teasingly.

She rolled her eyes. "So I've heard. And I babble when I get nervous."

Nathan came closer to her. She felt her heartbeat quicken and those ninth grade butterflies come back. "And I happen to get nervous a lot when I'm around you," she commented quickly.

Nathan simply kissed her on the lips. "You don't have to," he reminded her quietly.

She nodded, looking down. "I know. But I still do."

He sighed slightly. Before he thought it through, he picked her up and brought her out to the bedroom, placing her on the bed. She looked at him expectantly.

"Was there a reason you had to do that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "No reason. But this room has a bed," he answered. "And beds make…certain tasks a little bit easier."

She smiled. "You sound kind of like me," she teased.

"We've been rubbing off a lot on each other, haven't we?" he asked.

She nodded before kissing him.

* * *

_So um, yup, Naley made love for the first time since they began dating, moved in together seven months after, and Nathan's ex is trying to get back in his life, and her name is Lindsey. And Naley's getting a little bit more domestic, which is really cute. The real question is will she stir up drama between Nathan and Haley, and drive a wedge between them? We will see. _

_Again, I am SO SO SO sorry for making you wait! But after I moved into my new home there was this whole problem with the internet..apparently, it was not installed properly, and I was out of the internet for a whole week. I also apologize for the lack of Jeyton, and Brucas these last two chapters, I've just been spending time focusing on Naley and their relationship. __Anywho, thanks for the reviews last chapter appreciate them! You guys are awesome. _

**_thibbs65: _**_Thank you you're too kind. Rachel will remain their friend for a while she won't turn into the enemy just yet. I hope you enjoyed seeing what happened with Nathan, Haley, and Peyton. More on Brooke and Lucas later, we will also see their relationship blossom as well, for now, it will remain Naley with sprinkles of each thrown in. Writing is something I am passionate about, so I will not be giving up on this story, until you guys are tired of it, or I am not getting any feedback. _

_**naley12:** Thank you! I agree those two together are so cute. A little too cute, that comes off nauseating LOL. _

_**dianehermans:** thank you!_

_Thanks for reading! __Until next time! **-**__**Sidney**_


	10. Chapter 10

_"I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. And that doesn't mean there's not gonna be hard days or difficult things to deal with, because there will be. But finding that person who does it for you and knowing that person loves you back it just makes everything so much easier." _

_—Haley James Scott_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**January 17, 2007**

Haley awoke, opening her eyes and seeing Nathan smiling, his blue eyes warm. It looked just like her dream, where all she saw were his blue eyes and his warm smile.

It felt like home.

"What time is it?" she asked sleepily, her eyes only open halfway.

"Like one in the afternoon?" he asked. "You slept a lot," he added.

Haley eight months ago would've shot up, cursing about how late her day was beginning.

This Haley, however, simply sighed. "Well, I guess yesterday really wore me out," she teased.

"What are you doing today?" Nathan asked her.

She sighed. "I'm going to meet with Brooke, Rachel, and Peyton for a girl's night," she explained.

He nodded. "Do you want to have breakfast?"

She glanced at the clock again. "I think I'd prefer lunch."

As they exchanged a laugh, Nathan helped her out of bed and into _their _kitchen. Haley realized she would never, ever tire of using that word.

* * *

"Are you sure you won't come in with me?" Haley inquired, peeking her head out of their bedroom.

Nathan nodded, taking a sip of some of her very strong coffee as he began to draw some more. Haley pouted as she watched him.

"It's my first time using the shower—"

"Lie," he interrupted, referencing the several times she had used it when she stayed the night.

"Well, I'm scared—"

"Haley James?" he asked with mock surprise. "_Scared_ of something?"

"No…I don't want to get lonely—"

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Haley simply glared at him, and walked over to him, clad in only a snow white towel. "Don't make me drop this towel and remind you why you should come and join me," she threatened.

He smiled, taking another sip. "As tempting as that sounds, I really can't, Hales. Maybe later?" he suggested.

"How about definitely later?" she inquired.

He kissed her on the nose. "It's definitely a _maybe_," he promised.

Haley pouted before going back to their bedroom and grumbling all the way until she was in the shower. Nathan sighed. When he heard the water begin to run and heard Haley's loud humming, he made a move.

He pulled out the pieces of paper he had ripped up. It was Lindsey's phone number. He tried to read the digits, which she printed very clearly.

He was fairly certain he had gotten it right when he dialed the number.

"Hello?"

He gulped when he heard her voice. "Hey, Lindsey. It's me, Nathan."

There was silence. A simple "Oh" left her perfect cupid bow lips.

"You and I need to talk. Are you free tonight?"

* * *

Haley was the first to arrive at the restaurant she was meeting the girls at. She smiled when Rachel walked over to her table a mere minute later. The two hugged warmly.

Haley had grown quite close to Rachel. Well, it was a given, considering she was one of Nathan'ss best friends and she was his girlfriend. But there was something so honest about her that Haley really loved.

"Hey. I've missed you. And I've got to say, you and Nathan give Nathan and Lucas a run for their money in the non-couple category," Haley joked.

Rachel laughed. "Are you jealous, Hales?" she inquired.

Haley nodded. "Completely. I've barely gotten any time from him for myself," she replied mockingly.

"You had your opportunity. You've gotten like a week or so while I was on vacation. I trust that the group gave you guys some alone time?" she inquired.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Like that ever happens. That's a pipe dream. But I do have something to tell you about us."

Rachel's eyes widened. "Oh my God, where's the ring? How did he ask?" she demanded excitedly.

Haley shook her head incessantly. "No, no. We're not engaged. But we moved in together while you were away. I moved into his apartment. He asked me after your party, by the way," she explained with a blush.

Rachel smirked. "Where you two finally did it?"

Haley nudged Rachel. "You're as bad as Brooke and Lucas! I hope Dean keeps you sane because you're acting pretty weird to me," she teased.

Out of the corner of her eye, Haley saw Brooke and Peyton walking up to the girls. They both turned to greet the girls.

"Girl, you got so tan! You look great!" Brooke exclaimed. Rachel smiled in response.

"I hope you had fun," Peyton said. "So…what were you guys discussing without us?" she inquired curiously.

Rachel sighed. "Well, we were discussing Haley's sexual escapades and how we should be talking about me, but I am having too much fun making Haley blush," Rachel recapped.

With that, Haley turned beet red.

"What sexual escapades? She hasn't even done it with Nathan. We all know she's a prude," Brooke scoffed.

Brooke smirked at Haley, and Peyton figured it out. "Haley James! You had sex with someone you haven't been seeing for even eight months?" she asked in shock.

Brook gasped. "Haley! I didn't know you were the kind of girl to kiss and tell!" she exclaimed.

Haley bit her lip. "I feel like we've been dating for longer!"

Brooke's smirk grew. "Longer, my ass. You wanted to screw Nathan for so long, and he finally gave in. I don't blame you, Haley. I've seen him shirtless," she said before taking a swig of her drink.

"Finally. Haley, I would've done the boy seven months ago. I mean, have you seen the abs on that boy?" Rachel asked.

Haley blushed thinking about it.

Brooke snickered at the sight. "She's blushing!"

Haley rolled her eyes. "We did not come here to gossip about me, okay? We came here to beat down Rachel about her almost wedding, remember?"

"Has everyone seen him shirtless except for me?" Peyton asked.

The other girls all nodded in unison. Peyton suddenly had the urge to see him shirtless and see what all the fuss was about.

"Hey, don't think about it. The boy is mine," Haley warned.

Peyton smiled. "I love it when you get so possessive. Haley's in love," she sing-songed.

Haley rolled her eyes. This was certainly going to be a long night. She flagged down the waiter, ordering tequila shots for herself.

* * *

Nathan looked around the café, looking for his ex. He found her in a small booth in the corner.

Nathan sighed, closing his eyes, and preparing himself for this. He walked over to her. He kept reminding himself internally that he was doing this for Haley, Haley, Haley. He just needed that reminder.

"Nathan?" Lindsey asked, looking up at him. "I didn't think she'd actually give you my number."

Nathan simply sat down across from her. He stared at her without saying anything.

"Was she a friend or something? I saw Brooke with her," she added, trying to make small talk.

Nathan sighed. "No. She's my girlfriend. She was moving in with me when you came over. I was at work."

He waited for a reaction from her. Her face fell a little. She looked away from him, looking down. "Oh," she muttered.

"Why did you wait so long to talk to me? Were you expecting something from me?" he demanded.

She shook her head. "No, I wasn't expecting anything. More, I was hoping for something. I didn't mean to break your heart, Nathan. And I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for doing that to you. You didn't deserve me pressuring you and making you feel like less a person," she said.

He looked away from her. He needed to look every which way except for at her. "You did hurt me. You can't take it back."

"Nathan…you don't have to forget, but you'll eventually have to forgive me," she insisted.

He sighed. "I'm not trying to be difficult, but do you know how hard you're making things for me? It was two years. Two years ago that we broke up. Why have you waited so long? And why are you still hoping that I'll come back to you after you hurt me so much?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just grew up. I realized how much I loved you."

Nathan's breath hitched in his throat. "What?"

"I love you, Nathan."

* * *

Brooke slung one arm over her while Rachel took the other. Peyton knocked on the door, waiting for Nathan to answer, seeing as they were not finding Haley's keys with her in this state.

Nathan opened the door, almost hiding behind it.

"Don't mind us, Nate. We're just doing you a favour and getting Haley home in one piece. She decided it'd be a good idea to get wicked drunk," Brooke explained as she, Rachel, and Peyton brought her to her bedroom.

As they walked off, Rachel observed Nathan. "Hey, Nate? What's wrong? Why such a long face?" she asked.

"Rachel, can you stay here? I need to tell you something," he whispered.

She nodded.

* * *

Rachel took the loose tea and tea strainer out of the Rose Tea she had made for herself. It was Haley's but Rachel got her hooked on it.

"What happened? Why are you so sad?" she asked, taking his hand.

"Did you know Lindsey is back in town?" Nathan inquired. Rachel shook her head numbly. "She's back in town, and she came here the other day to see me, but she got Haley instead. She gave Haley her phone number, asking her to give it to me. I needed to talk to her, so I talked to her tonight and…"

Rachel's eyes grew wide. "Nathan, don't tell me you did anything," she pleaded.

He shook his head. "No! Rach, Lindsey told me that she loved me. That she _loved _me. I'm in love with Haley, but…God, she made me think of so many things when she said that," he confessed.

Rachel put her hand on Nathan's, trying to soothe him. "Listen, Nathan, if you want my honest opinion, it doesn't matter what she said as long as _you_ know who _you _love. You're in love with _Haley_, and I know for a fact that she loves you very much. Your relationship with Lindsey, though you liked it, was toxic. You deserve more. You deserve Haley. You two are beautiful together," she insisted.

Nathan took a deep breath, nodding.

"Now, come on. You need to go take care of your drunken princess because tomorrow she's going to throw something at you. Hangovers are a bitch," she reminded him.

Nathan nodded. "Thank you so much, Rachel."

"I will finish my tea. You go help Haley, and try not to drunkenly fornicate while I'm still here."

Nathan laughed before disappearing into the room. He closed the door behind him. He looked at Haley's still angelic face as she slept on her stomach. He sat next to her, rubbing circles on her back.

"I'm in love with you now, Hales," he repeated to himself quietly.

* * *

Haley groaned as she saw the light. She burrowed herself into Nathan's chest the next morning, waking him.

"Nathan, remind me to never go out with the girls, drinking, ever again," she moaned.

Nathan rubbed Haley's back, though he knew the pain was centralized to her head. "It's okay, Haley," he attempted.

She groaned once more. "Please don't say that. I feel horrible. Can you just shoot me now and take me out of my misery?" she inquired.

"No," he answered.

"But—"

"No," he repeated with a laugh. "Come on, Haley. I know what you need. What you need is a lot of water and food and _no coffee_. It'll just make things worse."

Haley squeezed her eyes shut. "What do you mean 'no coffee'? You know how I get when I don't have caffeine!" she exclaimed.

"I know, but in order to cure the hangover, you're supposed to have a lot of water, and coffee only dehydrates you. You need food and water," he repeated.

She sighed before rolling onto her back. "Well can you, my beautiful boyfriend, please get it for me? I'm lazy and in pain and I don't think that right now, I can even remember where the kitchen is."

Nathan nodded, kissing her on the forehead and getting up to get her water and food.

Haley sighed before she rolled over onto Nathan's side of the bed. His warmth was still there and Haley curled up in the sheets just covering his body.

Nathan returned not five minutes later with two bottles of water and toast. "Eat," he commanded.

Haley rolled her eyes but complied with his attempts. She took a bite of the toast but frowned.

"Haley," he began in a warning tone. "Let's not have a repeat of my younger cousin Rose, okay? I'm not going to feed you this toast."

She pouted. "Not even for me? You won't feed me in my time of pain?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Not even you. Rose had a fever. The poor girl kept waking up in the middle of the night, and all I could do was read her _Hop on Pop _over and over again," he said.

She pouted more Nathan rolled his eyes and finally gave in.

"Fine. You win. Open," he instructed. Haley smiled as Nathan fed her a piece of toast.

Fifteen minutes later, Haley had finished her breakfast, a bottle and a half of water, and her hangover was starting to feel better.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch," she said finally once Nathan returned from putting the dishes in the sink.

Nathan lay down next to her, wrapping her in his arms. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She sighed. "I'm sorry for being such a handful. But I like having you around all the time. I like having you as a company," she said, holding onto his hand.

He smiled. "I like being around you. And you don't have to apologize for being _human, _Hales," he insisted before kissing her on the temple. "And I have to tell you something."

Haley turned to him, concerned, and on high alert. "What is it?" she asked.

"I have to go to New York for work. It'll only be for a couple of days; a week, tops," he announced.

She nodded slightly, but she was a little sad. "Oh. Okay," she uttered.

Nathan took her hands, playing with them. "I promise to be back soon and call you. But this is a big offer that I can't pass up," he insisted.

Haley nodded. "I understand. You should go. It'll be something different for you. It could open a lot of doors," she added with a smile. She wanted nothing more than for Nathan to prosper in his job.

Nathan kissed her on the temple once more. "I love you, Haley."

She smiled in response. "I love you, too."

* * *

A day later, Haley and Nathan were engaged in the world's longest farewell kiss (and by far the steamiest).

"Are you already running late?" Haley asked.

"What's late for you? Thirty minutes early?" Nathan retorted before kissing her again.

She pulled away after a couple of seconds, feigning offence. "Hey! It used to be. And I don't want to be the reason you don't get this job," she replied.

Nathan smiled at her. "My first meeting isn't until six. I have time," he said, gesturing towards the clock, which read noon, exactly.

Haley frowned. "Well, then why do you have to leave so early?" she inquired.

"I want to make sure I get to New York, and I want to get settled, so it's not like I'm rushing to get to the meeting. I think you've rubbed off on me, Hales," he told her.

Haley considered this. "Well…I guess I haven't been the greatest influence in that area. I mean, I know I was really anal-retentive about stuff like that," she supposed.

He kissed her on the cheek. "I love you. I'll be back soon."

She let go of his hand, which she hadn't realized she was holding his hand until the moment their fingertips were no longer in contact. She watched the door close before her, him leaving. She sighed. The rain tapping away at the building did not help her mood.

She settled knowing that Nathan would be back soon.

She heard a tap at the door and walked over. Through the peephole, she saw Peyton and Anna. She let them in.

"Hey, Peyton. What are you doing here?" she asked.

Peyton placed papers down on the counter, and she sat down on the couch, Anna looking all around. "Don't act so happy to see me," she began sarcastically. "I wanted to come over to talk to you about Anna's birthday. It's coming up soon. I'm so excited!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Haley smiled. She looked through the mail. Most of it was junk, and also mostly Nathan's. There were about two bills for her. She got to the last piece of mail and swore her heart stopped beating.

"Haley? What's wrong?" Peyton asked, picking up on her best friend's obvious discomfort.

Haley's throat went dry. "This letter," she choked out. "I-it's from Clay," she said, putting it down.

"What? Clay?" Peyton asked for clarification. Haley nodded numbly. "How did he find out you lived here, even?" she asked.

Haley shook her head. She didn't know he knew _anything _about her anymore. She wasn't sure why, but this made her very scared.

"Peyton, what do I do? I don't want any contact with Clay. I haven't spoken to him or seen him in over a year. And now he just decides to pop back up?" She looked down at the letter nervously again. Quietly, she added, "Right when I'm the happiest I've been in my life?"

Aria gave Haley a sympathetic smile. "Do you want me to read the letter and tell you if it's worth your time or worry? Do you want me to be here when you read it?" she asked.

Haley nodded innocently. She took a deep breath.

Peyton gave her a supportive smile.

Haley reluctantly tore open the envelope, pulling out three handwritten pages. She gulped at the beginning. The first page was dated in the middle of May, or about eight months ago (as it was now January). It was around the same time that Haley had given birth to Jamie.

_Dearest Haley,_

_I realize that I probably don't even deserve for you to read the letter. I've accepted that. But I just needed to get my feelings out, so regardless of whether or not you're reading this, I know that I needed to write it for myself._

_I owe you a thousand apologies for all the pain and grief I must have caused you. You're an amazing woman and you never deserved me cheating on you. But I want you to understand that I didn't cheat because I didn't love you, or because I disliked your body or anything like that. As carnal and horrible as it sounds, I just wanted the sex. None of those girls meant a thing to me. None of them held a candle to you. I didn't love any of them. I only loved you._

_I also want to apologize for my drinking. I know it got out of hand, but I think you understand that a lot of pressure has been on me for so long. Especially with our new engagement, I just needed to find a way to take the edge off. I was stressed that I was messing everything up…for everybody. I was scared that I wouldn't live up to my family's standards, or your expectations. I should've realized that you would've accepted me, no matter what, because you loved me. And I loved you. I was so stupid for thinking otherwise. I was stupid for hitting you on occasion. I don't even have an excuse for it. I know it was wrong and horrible for a man to hit a woman._

_But I'd also like to talk about the way you left me. Even though I know I hurt you a lot, I don't think it was right for you to have left in the way you did. You threw away my ring? You left Paris and you left the house, no words or letter or anything before you left. You didn't even tell me a word about our baby._

_Another thing is our baby. I heard from a lot of people that you were pregnant. One of my friends saw you with Peyton Sawyer, and they said you looked about seven months pregnant. You weren't even going to tell me? The baby is half my DNA, too. I feel like I should've found out from you that I was a father instead of from someone else. I can't guarantee it would change things, but I'd at least pay child support or help out where I could._

_How is the baby? Is he okay? Are you okay? I'm asking because it's been on my mind every day for months. I can only picture you with a child, and each time I do, I remember what I missed out on. I'm so, so sorry for being an ass._

The next letter was dated in June when Haley had been seeing Nathan for about two and a half months. Haley skipped past all the formalities and went right to where her attention was called.

_One last thing. How's the basketball player? What's his name again? I met him once. Another thing I heard from someone is that they saw you with that guy recently. You were laughing and talking and holding hands. One time, I saw you myself. You were kissing him. I wanted to run over there, but I had to remind myself that you weren't mine anymore._

_Where was our child? Are you raising them to believe that he's the father? Haley, you can't be angry at me for not being there for a child I didn't know existed. And you can't just raise a kid to think that their father is someone entirely different from the truth. It's not fair for anyone. If he wants to legally adopt our child, I'll contest the adoption. Did you even put my name as the father on his birth certificate or did you have Nathan do that for you, too?_

Haley scowled at the accusation, feeling like a whore for Clay even speculating that. Then she felt worse with Clay talking with such contempt over their son.

_And while we're confessing here, I saw you for who you really are. So maybe I'm not so sorry that I ever cheated on you. I just felt guilty that I was caught. I guess you can't say the same since I never caught you and Nathan together in the act. You don't even have to deny it since I knew something was going on between the two of you. You were way too close to be "just friends". But I'm sure you were doing it for a lot more than sex._

_Was the kid even mine?_

Haley took a shaky breath as she put the note down. She couldn't deal with the emotions it brought up—any of them.

Peyton examined her. "What's wrong, Hales?"

In response, Haley brought over the letter to her, trading the pieces of paper with Anna as Peyton began to read them. Haley rocked Anna.

She heard Peyton gasp. "Haley, this is not good."

Haley sighs. "I know. He doesn't even realize that…that…"

Peyton cut her off before she let Haley's emotions overcome her. "Haley, don't. Okay? That ass is not going to screw things up for you now. Nathan is not going to let him do that. _You're _not going to let him do that," she reminded her.

Haley sighed, thinking about it. "I know, but this letter scares me. What if he comes back? Clay is a spiteful, vengeful person when he wants to be. He seemed pretty upset from the tone of those letters," she speculated as Anna made tiny cooing noises and gurgles.

Peyton bit her lip. She didn't know what to say to that. "What do you think? That he'll kill you, or something?"

Haley's eyes widened by the sound of that, and she sat down to prevent her from fainting with Nathan. "I just feel like I've come so far from my life with Clay. I mean, I'm more independent and confident and just…proud of myself now. I don't need a man, even though I love Nathan. He doesn't define me, whereas, Clay kind of did. It was like I couldn't stand without him, and that's not healthy. Clay didn't have any faith in me and Nathan just pushes me further and further. But now that Clay's back…I feel like he knocked me back like five spaces," she confessed, putting Anna down.

Peyton rubbed Haley's arm with a sympathetic smile.

* * *

Nathan looked outside the window into the heart of the city as he loosened the tie around his neck. He smiled thinking of how much Haley loved New York City.

_"I don't know why, but I feel like that city is like my home," _she'd say, smiling at the mere thought. _"It never sleeps, and personally, I think that we have time to sleep when we die. That city is immortal. It just lives on and on and on. Sometimes I wonder how it's possible for the lights to shine so bright in New York City."_

And then Nathan remembered how he first realized he fell in love with Haley. He remembered how he admitted it to her.

_He had continued with his recollection of flying to Paris. "I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean when I had an epiphany—"_

_Haley interrupted him, speaking finally. "An epiphany? Who even uses that word? It sounds so archaic," she said._

_He scoffed. "Look who's talking, Thesaurus. Anyway, I had an epiphany. As I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean, seeing the light reflecting from New York City, I realized that those lights were only paralleled by the sparkle in your eyes. And I realized then that I loved you."_

He remembered it perfectly. It was such a pivotal moment in their relationship. He knew he could never forget, and he thought of what Haley would say if she were there now.

_"This is the best view in the world,_" she would say. _"You can see the lights, the water, the people…"_

He'd interrupt her. _"Well, it's almost the best view in the world."_

She would scoff. _"Really? What could be better than this?"_

_"You."_

Haley would smile and Nathan would kiss her.

God, he missed her. He just wanted to share this moment with her.

He glanced down at his phone, contemplating calling her, but saw that it was already eleven-thirty and he would likely end up getting yelled at for disrupting her nighttime routine (which she was still anal about). He opted to send her a text message instead.

* * *

Haley looked up from her book on his side of the bed and glanced at her phone when she heard it beep.

She opened the message and saw a picture of New York City in the nighttime, the lights all over the place. Her heart yearned for New York at that very moment. It was a safe haven free from ex-girlfriends and ex-fiancés.

She scrolled down to read the message.

_I know it's a poor substitute for the real thing, but I at least wanted to show you your favourite city in the world. Goodnight (or good morning…depending on when you get this). xoxo._

Haley smiled, thinking of how he was thinking of her.

_I love you. And I love that city, but…I'll always love you more._

Nathan woke up and peered out the window, reminding himself for the thousandth time that he was in New York City and Haley was not there with him.

Two days ago, he could've sworn that she was there when he woke up.

* * *

_Toby sleepily opened his eyes, the Manhattan sun greeting him. He groaned loudly._

_His ears perked up when he heard Haley's laugh from the other side of the bed._

_"Someone isn't a morning person, are they?" she teased from across the room._

_He squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself that he was hallucinating. "I'm dreaming, right? You can't really be here," he said, not sure if he was saying it to himself or Haley…if she was really there._

_She laughed again. "Of course I'm here, Silly. I'm standing right in front of you!" she exclaimed, and Nathan looked up to see Haley there._

_Her porcelain skin looked flawless and Nathan was reminded of how beautiful she looked fresh-faced and sans makeup. She was wearing only a shirt of his. He felt a lump rising in his throat as she walked up to the bed, crawling on the pure white sheets so she was on top of him, her lips centimetres away from his. "Do you need me to prove to you that I'm really here?" she taunted, her voice going down half an octave._

_He froze as Haley ran her hand down his chest. "Um…no? Did you follow me all the way here?" he asked._

_She sighed, shrugging. "Well, I wasn't planning on following you here, but after the first night, I started to get terribly lonely. I mean…there was nobody there to touch or hold me during the night. So I just took the next train here. I had to tell the people downstairs that we were married so they'd give me a key to the room, but…it was worth it, right?" she inquired with a smirk._

_He nodded. Haley took his hands and placed them on her thighs, guiding them up and down. His heart stopped for a moment when he realized she was actually wearing a ring on her wedding finger. It wasn't the ring she had when she was engaged to Clay. He could've jumped out of his skin when he realized it was his own mother's engagement ring._

_She brought his hands all the way up to her hips, making him fully aware that she really was wearing just his shirt. His breath hitched in his throat._

_Haley moved her hands to on top of his to his chest, keeping him pressed firmly against the headboard of the bed. "So…do you like what you feel?" she asked deviously._

_Before she could get a reply, she kissed him. Her kisses were so amazing. Each one, even so, many months after they first kissed, felt amazing. There was no loss of passion or anything like that as time wore on._

* * *

Nathan woke up two hours later from his supposed dream. He couldn't shake the numbness his lips felt after being kissed by Haley's. The other side of the bed was oddly untucked, though Nathan was usually a pretty still sleeper.

Was Haley actually there with him?

"Haley? Haley?" he called out.

There was no answer. The hotel room was void of life except for him. He kind of wished that she had, in fact, followed him to New York City.

Immediately, he came upon a solution to calm his separation anxiety, which would show Haley that he really did miss her.

Thirty minutes later, after getting dressed and getting coffee (as strong as the barista could make it, which was still no match for Haley's coffee), he headed over to his destination.

He looked at displays, trying to decide which would be the best. Finally, he made his decision.

"Is it possible to get this display in irises?"

* * *

Haley stood near the window in the apartment, reading the card that was with the irises Nathan had sent her while she was in New York.

She smiled at the thought. She placed the card down on the coffee table when she heard knocking on the door.

Brooke was supposed to be coming over, which made Haley happy. She kind of loved being girly with her; getting all starstruck and tongue-tied over their boyfriends. Brooke was still going strong with Lucas and professed multiple times how much she loved Lucas. Haley couldn't be happier for both of them.

She didn't even check the peephole to see who it was. She just opened the door.

She could've sworn she felt her heart stop when she saw who was standing there.

"Clay? What are you doing here?"

Clay invited himself in. He didn't answer but looked all around the room. Haley crossed her arms, displeased with his BS.

"You're in my home, so you have to answer to my questions. What are you doing here?" she pressed again, this time more sternly and irritably.

"I just wanted to see you. It's been a really long time," he said.

She tried not to let her anger overcome her, but found it pretty much impossible. She let out a shaky breath. "Well, in my opinion, forever wouldn't be long enough," she mumbled.

"Are they here?" Clay asked, ignoring her mumbling.

"Who?" Haley snapped.

"Nathan…our child," he said uneasily.

With hesitation, Haley thought back to the letter, remembering that Clay had no idea of the fate of their son. She realized he didn't even know whether it was a boy or a girl.

"No, they're not here," she said. She didn't mention that Jamie had passed away. As far as she was concerned, he didn't deserve to know anything about him. Her blood began to boil thinking about Clay not being there. "And for the record, Clay, you don't deserve to know anything about our son. He might be half your DNA, but that doesn't make you entitled to anything. You weren't there when…"

And even though he might not have been there for her half the time when she really needed him, Clay could still tell when Haley was close to breaking.

"How could I have possibly been there when he was born if you never even told me you were pregnant?" he asked softly.

Haley let out a mangled sob but then shook her head. "No…no, I can't have this conversation. You should really just…just go, Clay. Please just leave," she said, turning away so he wouldn't have to see her cry.

Clay still didn't understand. "Haley, I don't want to be a deadbeat father, because one day, he's going to find out the truth."

Haley shook her head furiously, still looking out the window. "No, Clay, you don't understand. There isn't going to _be _a one day," she snapped.

"W—what do you mean?" he asked, still not connecting the dots. "Is he really not mine? Did you put someone else's name on the birth certificate?"

"Oh, for Christ sake—the baby is dead!"

Haley recoiled when she finally admitted it. She leaned down against the wall with the window, sliding down to the floor. She didn't even try to contain the sobs which were coming out freely now.

With so many thoughts and emotions going through her mind, Haley didn't even notice Clay sitting down next to her. She only noticed when he reached out to take her hand and comfort her.

Haley flinched a little but didn't move her hand from his. She needed some kind of human comfort. And try as he might, Nathan couldn't understand the same situation Haley was in unless he lived through it as she did.

She realized with some kind of dread that Clay was the only person who was in the same exact situation as she was when it came to losing Jamie.

There were no words, but Haley let herself cry in front of Clay, not really caring anymore.

Another thing she realized—and rather reluctantly—was that she couldn't keep up the façade that she never cared about Clay. Though she tried so hard after their breakup to rid of any evidence he was ever present in her life, she realized that at one point, she loved him. Or at least, she had believed she loved him. He would always be the father of her first child—even though she tried hard not to remember his presence in her life, either. There was too much pain and guilt when she thought of Jamie; pain because of the horrific way she lost him; guilt because she felt there were so many ways she could've avoided his death.

Following his death, Haley learned of the many, many ways she may have helped cause his demise. She kept a toy in his crib. She allowed him to sleep on his side or stomach when the recommended sleep position was on his back. She allowed herself to smoke after he was born, and was sure that while she never smoked right in front of him, he ingested nicotine somehow. She felt she didn't get enough prenatal care. There was a whole list of reasons she blamed herself. She would choose one or more at random to scrutinize for the day.

So for some reason, as she was sitting, crying with ClaY, she felt at peace. She felt like maybe she could finally move on from the past. _Maybe._

But maybe there was another piece of her which would always be rooted in the past. She could certainly never forget those things that Clay had ever given her.

* * *

"And that was Jamie when he was born," Haley said as she handed Clay a picture of her holding Jamie.

Clay looked at the photo in amazement. Haley smiled absentmindedly at the photo, just thinking of him.

"He was such a good baby," she began, thinking of holding him again. She could feel tears forming, but at this point, no longer cared. "He didn't cry at night; he just slept. And he laughed. And you could see how much he loved everyone."

Haley could see Clay was also on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry I never got to know him."

Haley bit her lip. "I'm sorry for not telling you about him," she answered finally. "You at least deserved to find out from me. I mean…he was your son, too. But I was just so upset when he died. It's one thing to miscarry a child, but…it's another story when you give birth to him. You hold him…you get to see him smile…or hear his laugh…and then you get to fall in love. And then it's all just taken away from you," Haley said, beginning to sob again. "Maybe, in a way, you're lucky you never got to meet him."

"Haley, that only makes things worse. I'll never get to meet him."

Haley sniffled in some kind of agreement. She tried to pull herself together, failing completely.

"Well…thank you for talking to me, Haley. I'm sorry for just barging in here, unexpected, but I figured you'd probably avoid me if I called you," he explained.

Haley nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. Also like old times, the thought of showing vulnerability towards Clay made her stomach churn.

"Well…that's true. You should probably go now," Haley insisted, not looking up at him.

Clay nodded and sullenly made his way to the door. Haley, not hiding her tears anymore, gathered photos and reminders of Jamie's short life and put them back in the box—which Nathan didn't even know about—that she kept all his things in.

* * *

Nathan looked at the irises, a few of which were sitting on what would be Haley's side of the bed, the others in a vase on the desk in the room.

Nathan thought of irises when he thought of Haley. After all, irises symbolized inspiration, and Haley inspired Nathan to be so much.

He hated how much he missed her. He thanked God that he would be seeing her in another two days. He couldn't handle separation anxiety anymore; he simply wanted to hold her, kiss her, and tell her just how much he loved her.

* * *

Clay sighed as he sat at the bar. He was in a bar he had sat at a hundred times, only this time was much different.

Instead of trying to erase thoughts of his fiancé (or his ex-fiancé), he was trying to forget all about what Haley had told him about their son.

He threw back another shot, the alcohol burning as it slid down his throat.

"Whoa. You'd better slow down. Soon enough, you won't even be able to see your hand in front of your face," chirped a voice to Clay's left.

He turned slightly to see a girl with dirty blond hair and blue eyes smiling.

He shrugged. "I've been through a lot today; cut me a break," he pleaded with a slight slur.

She laughed a little bit. "Alright, just this once. And that's only because I had a tough week, too," she said.

He shook his head. "It couldn't have been worse than my day today," he insisted.

"You're probably right. I came all the way here to see if my college boyfriend would take me back. I came here to find that he has a girlfriend. And she's really pretty," she said with a sigh. "What about you?"

"I found out that I had a son but unfortunately he passed," he said bitterly, taking another shot to dull the pain.

The girl sighed. "I'm sorry. I must sound like a whining bitch in comparison to what you've been through. That's horrible," she soothed, putting her hand on his arm.

He looked at her hand, trying to decide whether or not this was real.

"Getting drunk isn't going to do anything, though," she reminded him.

He sighed and nodded. "I know."

The girl smiled. "I think I should get you out of here before you finish another bottle of tequila."

He looked at the girl in amusement. He offered no resistance when she took him by the hand and dragged him out of the bar.

* * *

Haley sat, in the apartment, she shared with Nathan. Ever since Clay had paid her an unexpected visit, she had anticipated his arrival even more.

She was growing more and more anxious as the minutes and seconds passed. She just craved human comfort like nothing else.

When she finally heard the door open, she was so excited. She turned, breaking into a smile immediately. She got up and ran over to him, throwing her arms around his neck.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," she said as she gave him a hug.

He laughed. "I missed you, too. Did you get your gifts?"

She let go of him, nodding. "I got all of them. Why did you send me so many flowers while you were away?" she asked, referencing his gift of irises, which preceded purple hyacinths she had gotten two days later. "And are you really that infatuated with the colour purple? I mean, all the flowers you get me are purple. You gave me purple hibiscuses when we started dating, and now you're giving me purple irises and hyacinths. Is there a pattern here?" she interrogated.

"Why? Do you have something against the colour purple?"

"No, it's a lovely colour in between blue and red on the colour wheel. But I'm wondering if it means something."

He thought about it, glancing at the hyacinths which were positioned perfectly on the table. "It means good judgment. And I think I have really good judgment in one way or another because I have you."

She raised an eyebrow. She thought about it, glancing at the hyacinths which were positioned perfectly on the table. "So you chose me? If I'm not mistaken, I think that you waited a while before you actually said something to me about your feelings," she reminded him.

"Um…well…purple symbolizes magic, and being with you is a euphoria I can only compare to magic," he amended.

She nodded, biting her lip and suppressing a laugh at his expense. "That's a good one, Jack Frost. Maybe you should write that down…it's very poetic. Actually, I think that you can start a website by now of romantic sayings for people who aren't as good of boyfriends as you are," she teased. "They could go there and get some quotes that are so romantic, their girlfriends will fall head-over-heels for them. You know—kind of like how I am with you."

Nathan smiled. "Kind of?" he inquired? "I thought you were devastatingly in love with me."

Haley rolled her eyes with a smile. "Fine. I'm devastatingly in love with you. And I'm the only girl who will ever be this lucky to have you, right?"

"Of course," he answered without thinking.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, something much different was happening.

Lindsey sat across from Clay in her apartment, offering him coffee. He took it, silently offering a thank you.

"Do you want to talk some more?"

He shrugged. "It's just…I was engaged to this girl. She never told me she was pregnant and she kind of just…left me. I hadn't seen her, but someone told me about her being pregnant. When I finally talked to her about it, she told me that the baby's here but I'll never be able to see him."

Lindsey bit her lip. She eventually put her hand on his arm, trying to provide some kind of comfort to him as some tears came to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe she wouldn't tell you something like that."

He was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I deserved it. I mean, I never told her so many things…"

She looked at him for a moment, observing him. "You keep giving these vague clues to something. What do you want to say? You don't have to tiptoe around anything," she insisted.

"I'm a bad person," he continued vaguely.

"So am I. We all have our faults. You don't have to feel bad about it," she persuaded.

"Really bad. I cheated so much on her. And it was so stupid, but…it was like an itch I had to scratch. It was just sex. I didn't think that it would ruin our relationship. If I could go back and not do it…I would," he told Lindsey.

Lindsey nodded. "I feel the same way about my ex. I never took things seriously with him. But I was scared. I never realized it, but I was with him longer than I had been with anyone. I never realized the extent of my feelings for him. Not until he was already gone," she said.

"What happened?" he inquired, drinking some coffee. The bitter taste reminded him of Haley. He couldn't have set it down quickly after that.

She sighed, recalling past events with uneasiness. "Really, we were both young. I knew I was his first everything, but I wasn't mature enough to realize what that meant. I didn't know how much faith and how much of his heart he put into our relationship, and in the end, I just destroyed it," she explained softly.

"And how did that happen?"

Lindsey gulped thinking it over.

* * *

"Nathan, this is ridiculous. What could you possibly be doing?" Haley complained again as she messed with the tie of his he had placed over her eyes.

"Haley, relax. I haven't done anything, have I?" he inquired innocently.

"No, but I still didn't feel okay with you feeding me while I'm blindfolded," she added bitterly.

He laughed. "Somehow, I'm not surprised. Your mind always seems to be in the gutter."

She scoffed. "I have a loose imagination, thank you very much," she retorted.

He simply laughed. He opened the door. He sighed, looking around at the room he hadn't really been in for a while. "This is either going to be extremely creepy or touching for you," he commented.

"Can I take this stupid tie off now?" she asked.

"I thought you liked that tie! Rachel gave me that tie. I'm telling her that you insulted it," he answered childishly. He moved behind her, shutting the door behind them, and proceeding to untie the makeshift blindfold.

"Well Rachel can bite me then," she replied jokingly as she allowed Nathan to take his tie off her face.

Haley opened her eyes and was greeted by a whirlwind of colours. Most noticeably were the red hues which were splashed throughout the room. Many of the red paintings were just abstract blendings of different shades of red. There were also several paintings of flowers, ranging from hyacinths to orchids to irises.

"What is this?" she inquired, her brown eyes filling with wonder as they studied the room.

"This is where you'll either find it amusing or creepy, and I honestly wouldn't blame you if you broke up with me over this."

She furrowed her eyebrows but didn't peel her eyes away from the paintings and drawings.

"This room is where I go, sometimes, when I want to draw something outside of work, and ever since I met you, this is what I've come up with," he explained, looking over his own work.

"Is that why you were so touchy about this room?" she asked, recalling the several times she had come over his apartment and he firmly said not to enter that room.

"I was worried you'd think I was painting with blood or something morbid like that," he explained.

She looked at it all in amazement. She saw the tiny, subtle, careful brushstrokes throughout the paintings. "I don't know what to feel."

Suddenly, a thought popped up in her mind. "Hey, if you're so inspired by me, and I'm your 'muse' or whatever, why aren't there any pictures of me?" she teased.

He answered simply and without hesitation. "No matter how hard I try, my drawings could never be half as beautiful as you are."

She was about to say something very sweet as she looked at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but her attention was called by a painting behind him. Her eyes became wide as she walked over to examine one painting in particular.

She picked it up, showing Nathan as his eyes followed her.

"Is this—?"

She trailed off, and Nathan picked it up.

"This is the exact scene in Paris. I remembered it vividly. It'd funny, the things you remember when you miss someone," he answered.

Her jaw hung open, taking in what this all was. "Now I'm sure how I feel. Nathan…this is beautiful," she said.

"Still…not as beautiful as you. And I finally wanted to share it with you now that you know how I feel about flowers and things like that."

Haley smiled, walking over towards him. She placed her hands on his face. "You are about as sappy as a Hallmark card, and I love you for it. Now I understand all the flowers. They all mean something. Irises are an inspiration. Purple hyacinths are a passion," she said.

"Orchids and hibiscus flowers are delicate beauty, which you were from the moment I met you," he told her, referencing the flowers he had brought her on their first dates. She smiled fondly at the memory.

Nathan walked over to the far corner of the room, where there was an easel covered in a tarp.

"And then there's the one I've been thinking of a lot lately. Now, we've gotten to a new phase in our relationship, when it comes to being more intimate and living together," he said, putting his hand on the cover.

She smiled. Finally, she commented, "Wow. You used the word intimate. I don't think I've ever heard a guy use that word before."

He chose to ignore the comment. Taking a deep breath, he pulled it off.

Haley gasped at the realism in the picture. It looked like a perfect photo of tuberoses.

"Tuberoses mean pleasure, and white means purity. Haley, being with you is the best experience I've ever had, in my entire life," he claimed, taking both of her hands.

She stared at the picture in awe. "You're so amazing. I could tell you that, along with how much I love you, every second of every day, but it could never be enough," she said quietly. "But I love you so much, and this is amazing. You're amazing," she repeated, her smile growing wider with each word.

Nathan pulled her closer, an identical wide smile on his face. He kissed her sweetly and Haley reciprocated his actions.

"So are we keeping that picture in here?" Haley asked as she leaned her head on his chest.

"We can keep it wherever you want it," he answered softly.

"I want it in here, along with all the other beautiful things you've made," she responded.

He nodded, smiling. Haley pecked him on the lips once more.

* * *

_Aah! Clay is back. Uh-oh, will she cause trouble for Naley? We will see. I also would like to apologize for the lack of Brucas and Jeyton these last few chapters. As I mentioned, I am trying to build upon Naley's relationship, but they will be featured in the next couple of chapters. I could really use some ideas because I'm very conflicted in which direction I'm taking this story now. If you have any ideas feel free to PM them to me or leave it in the reviews._

**_thibbs65:_** _Thank you! Interesting theory, why do you think Nathan will sleep with Rachel somewhere down the road? What gives you that impression? Lindsey will create some major drama for Naley that's for sure!. I love both as well, so I'm glad you're okay with the lack of them for Naley's sake. _

**_naley12:_** _Thank you! I am happy to hear that you are enjoying this story. This story and their relationship will have A LOT of drama thrown their way, but considering it's Naley I'm sure they will bounce back from everything. Lindsey will definitely cause drama but she's sort of a compelling character._

_**dianehermans:** Brucas will come shortly I promise! for now, we're just gonna have to deal with Naley. _

_**Guest:** Thank you! I am glad you love and enjoy this story! I am not sure, but I plan on making it around 30-45 chapters but we see! It depends on how things play out context-wise. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time!** ~ Sidney**_


	11. Chapter 11

_"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."_

_\- Oscar Wilde_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**January 20, 2007**

Nathan looked at the clock once more. In the last fifteen minutes, he had probably looked about seven times, checking on when Haley would finally come out.

"Hales?" he asked again.

"Nathan! Calm down! I'll be out in a minute!" she shouted harshly from the bathroom.

He made a mental note not to call her again. Finally, about three minutes later, Haley emerged. Nathan was speechless. She was always beautiful, but she looked amazing now.

"You hate it, don't you?" she asked self-consciously before moving to get a new outfit from their closet.

"No! Haley, you look amazing," he said, barely forming the words.

She frowned. "This dress looks horrible, doesn't it? I'm sorry. I just can't find the one I was looking fo—"

She stopped immediately as Nathan put his hands on her arms, running them up and down slowly. She could feel his breath on her neck. She gulped.

"Haley, you look beautiful. I always think you look beautiful, but now…you're stunning," he promised her. "Now, come on. We have to get to dinner now."

She nodded, gulping again. "Nathan? I promised Peyton that we would make Anna's birthday cake for tomorrow, so maybe…we could do that when we come back?" she asked, not facing him.

He nodded. "Sure. It sounds like fun."

* * *

"What does the term 'sensible shoes' mean, anyway? I wear three inches or I wear nothing. But preferably, I wear three inches," Brooke said before she took a sip of coffee.

Peyton rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her brunette friend. As she paused between solving Sudoku, she looked up and saw a familiar blonde ordering up front at the coffee place.

"Hey, wait. Is that—?"

Peyton trailed off and Brooke turned to see the blonde.

"What is with this girl?" Peyton asked finally.

Brooke turned back, taking out her dangling earrings and putting them on the table. "I don't know, but I'm dealing with this bitch now," she announced, getting up. Peyton was frozen for a moment before she got up and chased her.

Brooke wasn't letting Peyton stop her. She wasn't Nathan's best friend, but his friend, nonetheless, and she wanted him to be happy. Though he seemed happy, his relationship with Lindsey was always chaotic.

She was never around for him. She was always out doing God-knows-what with God-knows-who God-knows-where. He was always crushed, sitting at home, waiting for her. He gave a lot in the relationship, only to get very little.

Brooke stood on the side, never saying anything. But she _should've. _Nathan was being abused mentally, and it was ugly. She was a snake.

Lindsey was just walking away from the counter when she almost ran into Brooke.

"Brooke? Brooke Davis?" she inquired, beginning to smile as she looked at Brooke.

Brooke greeted her with stone-cold silence. She wasn't amused.

Lindsey's smile faded. "What's wrong?"

Peyton finally stood next to Brooke. Lindsey looked from the brunette to the blonde, thinking.

"We need to talk," Brooke announced finally.

* * *

Haley fidgeted with her hands as she waited for Nathan to come back to their table. She fiddled with the ring resting on her right ring finger. She twirled it around, unable to keep her fingers still. She examined it intently.

Absentmindedly, she took the flashy piece of jewelry off her right hand and placed it on her left ring finger. She shifted it so the dim light would catch it perfectly. She smiled, subconsciously hoping that one day, that finger would be occupied with a more expensive, flashier ring.

Nathan came back. Haley snapped up in attention.

He looked at her with some kind of amusement. "What are you doing, Hales?"

"Nothing," she promised innocently as she took a sip of red wine.

He noticed the ring resting on her finger. "Are you hoping to get a glimpse into your future?" he asked playfully.

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He pointed towards her ring. Blushing, she took it off and placed it in her original place.

"Haley," he began. He took her hands in his, so they were holding hands across the table. "It's not bad to want that for the two of us. Is marriage something that you want?" he asked.

Haley sighed. "I'm not going to lie, Nathan, and say that it's something I'm never going to want, because I know I will, eventually. But I'm just scared that…maybe our relationship will end like mine with Clay. He really wasn't cheating on me until we got engaged." Haley only realized she had begun to cry when Nathan reached across the table to wipe the tear away. "I don't want us to end like that."

"Haley…I would never, _ever_ cheat on you. Please believe me when I say that. I would never hurt you in the way he has. And I don't want you to ever think that any of it was your fault."

"But what if…what if I'm no good at marriage? What if that's what happened to Clay and I? What if you—"

"I'm not going anywhere, as much as I can tell you're trying to get rid of me," Nathan joked.

Haley gave him a slight smile at his attempt at humour.

One of the things she loved most about him.

* * *

"You _what_?" Peyton asked, her eyes widening.

Lindsey looked down at the floor. "I know. I'm horrible. But I just didn't…I wasn't serious about the relationship, okay? I was sixteen. I was so young. I didn't understand what love really was. I just wanted to have fun," she whimpered.

"Are you trying to tell us that you never saw Nathan as more than casual sex? You led him on for that long?" Brooke inquired, incredulous.

"No, no! I want to make it really clear to both of you that I considered Nathan my boyfriend. But I used the term really loosely. I didn't think about all the commitment it was, and I really never considered us 'serious'," Lindsey explained.

Brooke scoffed. "You were dating for three freaking years!" she exclaimed.

"I know," she replied sheepishly. "I know I screwed up, too. And it's not fair for me to ask him to take me back now that he's with that other girl. But honestly, what does she have that I don't? I just want him back so badly. But he wants someone else…"

Peyton suddenly became very defensive. "What 'That Girl' has that _you _don't is the unconditional love for him. She loves him with all her heart and _never, ever_ takes him for granted. She appreciates him and loves him as much as he deserves it. She _knows_ that she could lose him at any given moment and she cherishes the time she has with him. And something she also has that you don't is _his _heart and _his _love. You don't deserve him, Lindsey. You never cared enough to realize how much he loved you. You broke his heart, and you didn't even care. You still don't care. All you really want is for him to take you back because you've finally realized that he would treat you better than anyone else because he is amazing. He's selfless and he's a great friend and a great boyfriend. But you're never going to know because when you had the chance, you didn't take it. Now your chance is over, and it's Haley's turn. If things don't work out for them and you can actually _prove _that you'd love him and cherish him as much as he did you, then _maybe _you could try and make things work."

Brooke, moved by Peyton's words, finally spoke. "But that's never going to happen because Haley loves him as much as he deserves to be loved. They're perfect together, and they're not going to let you get in between their endless love," she added.

Peyton nodded in agreement.

Lindsey sighed. "There's something else that I wanted to tell you," she began, kind of switching the subject.

"What is it?" Peyton inquired curtly.

"Did you get knocked up or something?" Brooke asked, only half-joking.

Lindsey shook her head, looking down at her thumbs nervously.

"I never told anyone the real reason why I left. It wasn't just because I thought I didn't really love him."

Peyton rolled her eyes impatiently, while Brooke seemed a little more willing to hear.

"I found a Tiffany box in his clothes. There was a ring inside."

* * *

"Nathan, where do you keep the mixing bowl?" Haley inquired as she searched throughout the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen.

Nathan came out, not wearing a shirt. Haley, in her frantic state, didn't notice. She continued to look.

"What are you looking for?"

"A mixing bowl. And don't you even dare think of seducing me until we're done with the cake. I promised Peyton I'd help, and it's the least I can do for my little bumblebee," Haley warned.

"Seduce you? When have I ever done that?" he asked innocently.

She laughed. "When have you _not _done that? There was that night at the hotel, the morning after at the hotel, that afternoon in that hotel—"

"Hey, I was trying to give you a very romantic day, Hales. Can you blame me? You're gorgeous," he replied, touching her arm.

"Yeah, that was fun. Anyway, then there was the next week after I got home from work, the night I moved in, the day after you came back from New York—"

"I wouldn't consider that being seduction," he argued.

"You_ seduced _me," she retorted.

He stood, mouth agape. "What about those times you seduced me?"

"Like when?" she inquired with a laugh.

"Every other time."

She looked over her shoulder at him, finally taking in the view. Her eyes remained on his torso. She tried parting her eyes, but they didn't seem to cooperate with her brain. She closed her eyes instead.

"God, Nathan, you're doing it again. Could you please put on a freaking shirt and help me you're too sexy," she asked.

"Jeez. Fine, Hales," Nathan mumbled, leaving the room.

She bit her lip, finally pulling out a glass mixing bowl. Nathan came out a minute later (fully clothed).

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I just want this to be as perfect as possible. Anna is my only niece, and I love her so much. I mean, after everything that happened…I'm so thankful to have her and—"

"Shh, Haley. I know," he said, holding her, kissing her on the head. She took a deep breath.

"So, what kind of cake are you making?" he inquired with a smile.

Haley relaxed, smiling at him.

* * *

"Nathan, no! You have to level off the measuring cup or it's not right!" Haley scolded, taking the cup from him.

"You just put that _unleveled _cup of sugar in the mix," he retorted.

She rolled her eyes. "You can never have enough sugar, and there's already a lot of chocolate in this recipe for the icing. If we don't get it right, then—"

She stopped abruptly. She looked down at the apron she was wearing, spotting white powder on the side. She looked over at Nathan, who was silent, leaning against the counter, seemingly proud of himself.

"Oops," he said mockingly.

She shook her head. She took the cup of cocoa in her hand and poured it over his head. She smiled, putting the measuring cup down.

"Oops," she replied, mirroring his mocking nature.

When this failed to get a rise out of him, Haley picked up one of the eggs, weighing it in her hand. Nathan looked at her curiously. She smirked. Then, she cracked it on the counter, and then over his head. He watched the egg drip onto his face and eventually off of his head.

"Honey, are you egg-cited, or are you just happy to see me?" she asked with a smirk.

"That's it," he answered. "Baby, come here and give me a kiss," he prompted.

She shook her head. "No way. Get away from me!" she answered with a laugh before she took more of the flour and threw it at him.

"But I just love you so much! Come back here!" he called as he continued to chase her around the counter.

Finally, he chased her so she was behind the sink. She grabbed the hose, pointing it towards Nathan.

"Haley!"

"Don't come any closer!" she warned.

"We can talk about this—"

Haley turned on the water, warning him that she was ready to spray him. "Don't move," she warned.

"Hales—"

Before he could finish what he wanted to say, Haley sprayed him with water. He became drenched within a few seconds.

Haley bit her lip, concealing a laugh as she looked at him. She was sure she also looked horrific after the whole food fight. She was sure she didn't look anything like he did, though.

"Nathan…" she began. But she stopped herself. She couldn't conceal her laughter.

"I'm going to go take a shower because I desperately need it. You can finish…this," he said before turning and leaving.

As she watched him leave, she burst into more laughter. In the midst of it, the timer went off. She quickly went to the oven to get the cake, taking it out and placing it on the cooling rack.

Suddenly, she felt very bored. She decided to go into their room. She heard the water running in the bathroom.

She caught a look of herself in the mirror.

* * *

Inside the shower, Nathan heard (and saw) the door creak open slightly. He was startled to see Haley there.

"Hey, Nathan?" she asked, her voice echoing throughout the bathroom. "I think I have to join you."

Haley walked up to the shower door, and Nathan finally got a good look at her.

"I think you're right."

* * *

"Haley! I know you have a hint of OCD, but I swear, the cake is fine," Nathan promised Haley as she continued to mess with the icing on the cake.

"Really, Haley, you need to calm down," Lucas prompted from behind.

Haley sighed, stepping away from the cake. "Are you two going to promise not to ruin it?" she asked.

They both nodded in unison. "Yes."

She sighed once more before she placed it gingerly into a box. She closed it gently, careful not to ruin any of the icing.

"It came out really well, Hales," Lucas insisted.

"Thank you, Luke. I worked really hard on it. I hope Anna likes it," she replied.

Nathan laughed. "Hales, Anna is turning one today. I'm pretty sure that if it's cake, she'll like it," he informed her.

Haley nudged Nathan. "Hey. You could at least _pretend _to make me feel better about slaving over it all last night."

Before Nathan could respond, Lucas nudged him. "Hey, we should bring this over and you can help me with all of the stuff for Anna's birthday party. Come on," Lucas said before this could escalate into a food fight like last night.

"You can tell Peyton I'll be over soon. I just have to get some things cleaned up and I still have to write out her card," Haley told Lucas.

"Sure, Hales!" he called as he and Nathan left the room.

* * *

An hour later, Haley looked at herself in the mirror as she put in her diamond studs. She loved them so much.

She took a deep breath as she looked at herself. Her thoughts wandered as she thought of mirrors, how they looked into different dimensions, and parallels they manifested in her life.

Her reverie was broken when there was a knock at the door.

She opened it up and was shocked as she saw Clay standing before her. She furrowed her eyebrows, confusion showing itself all across her face.

"Clay? What are you doing here?" she asked, truly muddled.

"I wanted to talk to you, Haley," he said.

Haley reluctantly allowed him in the apartment. She watched him uncomfortably.

"Clay, I don't want to play games. I already told you everything about Jamie. What do you want?" she asked, calmly, but clearly lacking much patience.

He sighed. "I just keep thinking so much about our son. And it just keeps me thinking of what could've been for the two of us," he said slowly.

She raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying?" she inquired anxiously.

"I keep thinking about our son and…it makes me want a child."

Haley continued to look at him with looks of confusion.

"Haley…I want to have a child together."

It took her a moment to process that statement. Finally, when it went through her mind, she stared at him, wide-eyed.

"What?"

He sighed again. "Thinking about him all the time makes me want a child. And you're the only person I really ever considered having a child with, ever," he said.

She shook her head, flustered. "So let me get this straight. You're telling me that you'd like me to dump Nathan so I can have a child with you, who cheated on me all throughout our engagement," she recapped. "No way! Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"I'm not asking you to break up with him, or for us to be together. I just want to have a child with you," he said.

Haley shook her head incessantly. "I think you must be on something, Clay. There's no way in hell that I'm going to have a baby with you," she said before she led him out the door and closed it behind him.

* * *

Brooke held Anna in her arms. "Happy birthday, beautiful girl! It's your birthday today," she said, before kissing the little girl on the cheek. Anna's cheek turned a little pink, both from her blushing and a stain from Brooke's lipstick.

"Brooke, you look good with a kid. Are you and Lucas getting any ideas?" Peyton asked.

Brooke scoffed. "Dream on, P. Sawyer," she retorted.

"Where is Haley?" Peyton inquired.

"I don't know. Lucas said she said she'd be here soon; she just needed to get some stuff done. Why? You seem on edge," Rachel noted suspiciously.

Peyton sighed. "Brooke and I need to tell you, Rachel. We found Lindsey the other day in the coffee shop and we confronted her," she began.

"You guys are so great! Did you tell her to back off?" Rachel interrupted.

"We told her to give up on Nathan, but that Bee-In-The-Curious-Hive didn't want to listen. She kept moaning and complaining about how she's so in love with Nathan or some BS like that," Brooke explained, lacking the patience to talk about Lindsey any longer.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "I'm somehow guessing that you two weren't as calm as you are talking to me right now," she commented.

"Hey! I was not the one who got angry. It was Peyton, for once," Brooke said before cuddling up to Anna.

Needless to say, Rachel was surprised that the supposed peacemaker was the one to get mad. "Really? Peyton, what did you say?"

"Nothing bad, I promise. I just told her to leave them alone, because nothing will ever transpire between her and Nathan, anyway," Peyton explained.

Rachel nodded mockingly, not really believing that. Peyton was about to speak in her defence when the apartment door opened and Haley walked in. Brooke immediately noticed something was wrong with her, and quickly passed Anna off to Peyton.

"Hales? What's wrong?" Brooke asked with concern, being the first to greet her.

Haley sighed. "Nothing's wrong." She tried her best to come up with a good lie. "My car just had some problems, but it's not a big deal," she lied simply.

"How did you get here?" Peyton asked as Anna reached out to touch Haley.

Haley smiled and held Anna's hand. She finally turned to Peyton. "My car eventually started, but I think I have to bring it in to get checked out," she explained. She kissed Anna on the forehead. "Happy birthday!" she cooed sweetly.

"Do you want to hold Anna for a minute?" Peyton asked.

Before she actually got a chance to answer, Anna was handed to her. Anna immediately began playing with Haley's hair. She began mumbling something into Haley's neck. She loved Haley so much.

"So what did I miss?" Haley asked.

Brooke and Rachel stood tight-lipped as Peyton left to go get something for Haley. Finally, Rachel spoke. "Not much. We were just talking about you."

"What about me?"

"You and Nathan, mostly," Brooke said.

It wasn't a total lie since they were talking about them. But they were also talking about a certain blonde who was looking to re-enter Nathan's life…

"What about us?" Haley inquired curiously, nervously, almost.

"Not much. Just about how you guys have been getting closer lately. Is there something you're hiding from us, Hales?" Brooke asked suggestively.

"No! Of course not! Things are exactly the same!" Haley exclaimed. That was a lie, too. Things were better…but they were worse, too. It was an odd feeling Haley couldn't explain. She had no doubt that Nathan loved her, but she felt them growing apart.

Brooke nodded. "Just checking. But you will let us know when something happens, right?" she asked.

"Brooke! Leave Haley alone. She'll indulge what she wants about her relationship. But Haley, I wanted to give this to you," Peyton said as she walked back over to the girls. She handed Haley a black box. Haley took it with her free hand.

"What is this?" Haley asked.

"Don't open it right this minute. It's a present from me. You'll understand when you see it."

Hesitantly, Haley accepted this. She handed Anna back over to Peyton and looked at the box awkwardly.

* * *

Haley and Peyton watched as Jake and Nathan played with Anna. Rachel, Brooke, and Lucas had left a while ago.

"You can open that box now if you want to," Peyton informed Haley.

Reluctantly, Haley looked through her bag and found the box. She opened the box and saw a silver locket.

She looked at Peyton, hoping for an explanation. Peyton simply responded, "Open it."

Haley listened and opened the locket. She saw pictures of her and Jamie in the hospital after he was born and another of the two of them, a month or two after he was born. Haley felt a little dizzy after seeing it.

"I know you're trying really hard to pretend nothing ever happened. It's not healthy, Hales. Jamie's here, and you love him. I know you're scared that if you open up to Nathan about him, it might upset him, but…what'll make him more upset is to see you in so much pain. Bottling it all up is worse for you. When you wear it, he'll be close to your heart," Peyton explained.

Haley bit her tongue, not sure how to respond. Peyton accepted that this necklace would make her feel uneasy, but did it anyway as some form of shock treatment for Haley.

"Nathan? Can we go now?" Haley asked as she stood up. Peyton let out a small sigh.

* * *

"Are you okay, Hales?" Nathan asked once they arrived home.

She nodded, not really offering much explanation for their sudden leave.

"Can you please get me some tea?" Haley asked weakly.

This automatically made him suspect something was up. Haley never requested tea unless she was feeling really awful, either physically or emotionally. "Sure," he replied.

Haley nodded, her back still to him before she went into their room. Haley walked into their closet and went to the very bottom of her underwear drawer, a place she knew Nathan would never look. She pulled out the familiar box with Jamies's things. She pulled the locket out of her bag and finally allowed herself to cry.

Nathan was just pouring the tea as he heard muffled sobs coming from their bedroom. He abandoned the tea on the counter and walked cautiously into the bedroom.

Haley, meanwhile, was still in the closet, crying profusely. She sniffled one last time, tears still rolling down her face freely before she put the box into the larger box with the other collection of Jamie's life so far.

Outside, the closet door, which was left ajar, allowed Nathan to see it all. His heart slowly broke as he watched Haley attempt to pick up the pieces of her heart again and store them neatly away.

* * *

She knew she shouldn't have been looking at his phone, or even be tempted by it.

But that curious pit in her stomach egged her on, telling her to look.

As his phone vibrated for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes, she finally picked it up. She found a slew of text messages, all from Rachel.

_Hey, Nathan, I've been thinking a lot about your whole dilemma. We need to talk._

_Nathan! You need to text me back! You can't just ignore what Lindsey told you the other day!_

_Nathan, if you don't tell Haley about what happened, I guarantee someone else is going to tell her and she'll be really upset._

_If you don't tell Hales, you're going to hurt her! She'll find out eventually._

_Nathan, freaking text me back! You can't ignore me!_

_Fine, I see that you're just not going to answer, but you need to tell Haley about Lindsey dropping the l-word on you. It's a big deal, especially since the only person who should be dropping the l-word on you is Haley!_

_You're going to hurt Haley! Don't be stupid about this, Nathan!_

Haley tried to process what these urgent texts all meant. The l-word? Lindsey said she loved Nathan?

Haley's blood became cold. Why would she say that? When did she even get the chance to say that? Nathan ripped up her phone number. When did they meet up?

Above all her other thoughts, one poignant, fearful thought racked Haley with nervousness throughout her whole body.

_Did he say it back?_

* * *

Nathan walked in and found Haley sitting at the island in their kitchen. She had a glass of red wine to the side, but she was absentmindedly staring at his cellphone, which he had left there by accident. He could tell something was really wrong.

Haley didn't move or even flinch when he walked in. Nathan was almost scared to say something to her.

"You left your phone here this morning," she said, her normally soothing voice harshly cutting through the silence. She was stoic as she took a drink of wine. "Rachel kept texting you throughout the day. It was almost obsessive," she added calmly.

He didn't even question her picking up his phone. "What did she want?" he asked, a lump rising in his throat due to his nervousness.

"She wanted to talk to you about Lindsey."

He felt his heart race. He really hoped she didn't find out about—

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Lindsey?"

_Damn it._

"I…I don't know," he choked out. Haley let out a small sigh before she looked at an imaginary chip in her nail polish. Nathan dropped his things and sat down next to her. "Haley, she doesn't matter anymore."

Haley let out a sardonic laugh. "Nathan…don't tell me that. I know you want that to be true, but you don't have to pretend. She was your first love, and you never forget your first love. I know she'll always have a piece of your heart," she replied. He wasn't quite sure whether she was sad about this or accepting…or both.

"She doesn't have to have my heart. I want you to have all of it," he replied sheepishly.

"I'm not mad at you about it. I'm just disappointed that you felt you couldn't tell me."

Clearly, it was bothering her more than she was letting on.

He took her hand. He felt her get a little uncomfortable at that, and it honestly hurt him. "Haley, nothing really transpired at that meeting—"

"Nathan, she told you she loved you," she answered sadly.

He thought about that for a minute.

"I only told you that a month or two ago," she said.

Before Nathan could process what was happening, Haley had already gotten her coat and her bag. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going out. Clearly, we both need time to think," Haley explained.

"Are you coming back?" he inquired nervously.

Haley saw that he was scared. After a moment of staring, she nodded. "I just need time to think. And I think you do, too."

With that, she was out the door.

* * *

Haley walked into the bar, shaking water droplets off her body. She was hoping to find a certain hazel-eyed brunette.

To her discontent, she had already clocked out. She was really hoping she could interrogate Rachel on what Nathan had told her.

She decided that it was probably for the best that Nathan wasn't there; maybe ignorance was bliss. But still, she wanted so badly to know every single gory detail. She hated to admit it, but she was _jealous._

Of what, she wasn't sure exactly. She _knew _Nathan loved her, but…Lindsey had some kind of quality that was just kind of mystifying about her. She was just charismatic in a subtle way.

Why was she saying this about someone who would want nothing more than to steal her boyfriend for her own? Haley suddenly felt ridiculous for thinking of Lindsey in this light.

Deciding not to waste the trip to a bar, Haley flagged down the bartender and ordered a cocktail, which she drank quickly before getting something stronger.

She finally noticed a blue-eyed blonde sitting on the other end of the bar, about four or five stools away. It was pretty empty, being relatively early in the night. She finally realized this girl was the devil she was just speaking of.

"Haley?" Lindsey asked with eager surprise in her voice. "I didn't expect to see you here!" she exclaimed.

Haley forced a fake smile. "Neither did I," she said rather glumly with mustered enthusiasm. She quickly threw back a shot, the liquor burning down her throat. She ordered two more.

"Are you looking for Rachel?" Lindsey asked knowingly.

Haley looked over her shoulder at Lindsey cautiously. "How did you know?"

Lindsey shrugged. "Sometimes I used to go to her for advice on things involving Nathan," she said nonchalantly.

Haley turned to look at Lindsey. "What makes you think I'm here because of Nathan?"

"Why would you come here to talk to her? I just remember that when I was having issues with him, I'd always go to either Rachel for advice, since the blonde didn't like me much," she explained.

Haley rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything. I just wanted to see Rachel."

The two shots quickly arrived, and she downed them just as quickly as the first.

"You must be in a lot of trouble," Lindsey commented.

"Please just leave me alone," Haley said bitterly.

"I'm just trying to help you, girl-to-girl. You drank those pretty easily. You and Nathan must be having serious problems. What is it about?"

"You!" Haley snapped in the heat of the moment. "I know about you saying that you loved him."

Lindsey didn't really have an explanation for this. She flagged down the bartender and ordered shots for both of them.

* * *

Nathan bit his lip as he waited for Rachel's reaction.

"What do you want me to say, Nathan?" Rachel asked finally.

"Something comforting?" he pleaded. "Anything?" he added, finally.

Rachel sighed. "I'm not going to tell you that you didn't screw up; you did. But not for going to meet with Lindsey. That was a mature, adult thing to do. What you screwed up on was not telling Haley the moment it happened. If you had been honest from the start, none of this would've happened," Rachel said.

He nodded. "I know. I messed up; this is all my fault. But I don't want this to ruin our whole relationship. What should I do to prove to her that I made a mistake, and I love her?"

"Well, she's probably feeling jealous right now, Nathan. Another woman told you she _loves _you. It's not some casual crush or anything; she actually _loves _you."

Nathan sighed sadly. "Thanks, Rach. You didn't need to rub that in."

"You wanted my honest opinion! Haley is going to be jealous, which means you really need to articulate how much you love her and care about her. You need to tell her how much you appreciate her presence in your life and how much you need her. Girls want to hear those things. She won't leave you. But if you want things to be the same as they were, you need to talk to her about this, because that's what mature adults do. You can't just push it under the rug."

Nathan sighed but nodded acceptingly. He contemplated some grand gesture of love, so Haley would know just how much he cared about her.

Finally, logic caught up to Rachel, and she was reminded of another dilemma.

"What are you going to say to Lindsey?"

Nathan sighed just thinking about Lindsey. He didn't hate her, per se, but there was bitterness left in him for the way things ended between the two of them. She didn't even have the decency to tell him in person; she left a letter, like a coward, after she had taken all her things with her. He didn't really have any hopes to talk to her again.

"What do I have to say to her?" he asked pessimistically.

Rachel scoffed. "Nathan, you have to talk to her. If you don't, she'll continue to have festering feelings for you. What happens when those feelings turn into something more and she decides she wants to try her hand at playing the homewrecker?" she asked.

"I'm not going to let that happen," he insisted.

Rachel smiled at her friend's naïveté. "Beyond the breath, there is no control. You can't say it'll never happen, because what if it does?" she inquired cleverly.

"I don't want anything to happen between me and Lindsey, though!" he exclaimed. "What do you think I should say to her?"

"If you want my honest opinion," she began, dragging out the words for eternity to torture him, "I think that you need to let her down gently. You don't want to turn her into that jilted lover who will try to kill one of you or both of you because she didn't get her man. Let her down easily. But you still need to make it very clear that you have no aspirations to have any connection to her, whatsoever."

"Do I need to do anything else, Doctor Rachel?" he asked playfully.

"Buy Haley flowers, because she deserves them, and if you're looking to apologize, that will certainly soften her up a bit, though you make her soften up a lot already," Rachel teased.

Nathan nodded with a smile. He was suddenly feeling a lot better about this whole thing.

Maybe things with Haley _would _work out, and there would be no need to repair his heart once more.

At least, he hoped so.

* * *

Haley looked around at the many, many blurry shapes all around her.

"Wait, so…you were his first?" Haley slurred. Even through the slur, she was a little saddened. Then again, he wasn't her first.

Lindsey nodded. "He was so sweet about it all. I really hate that I never realized how sweet he really was while we were dating. I was too busy trying to have it all. I never appreciated what was right in front of me," Lindsey answered in perfect English.

Haley let out a small, sad smile. "Sometimes, I feel that way, too. I feel like a bad girlfriend. I mean, he always tells me about how much he loves me…he buys me flowers…he paints me pictures…I feel like I'm his everything and he's just an adjunct in my life," she slurred.

Lindsey tutted in disapproval. "You know, I felt the exact same way. Maybe it's not us. Maybe it's him. Maybe it's all a show, Haley. I mean, do you think that he really thinks of us that much? Maybe he's just the kind of person who wants their girlfriend in the palm of their hand," she suggested.

Even though she was very drunk, Haley shook her head, denying it immediately. "No, he's not the type. He loves me."

"And I thought he loved me, too. He was ready to propose to me!" she slipped.

Haley looked at her strangely, almost sadly, though her mind was so clouded up. "Wait…when did you guys break up?"

"A year ago?"

Haley shrugged. "He's moved on," she said.

Lindsey sighed, unsatisfied. "Still. I think he might be acting like a saint. He was always too good to be true," Lindsey explained over the music in the bar.

Haley thought about it for a minute, very sad about the whole idea.

* * *

Nathan sat and stared at the Star of Bethlehems in a vase on the table.

He had hope. He had hope that Haley would come home soon and they would quickly make up. He had hope that they would move on from this. He had hope that she would realize he never loved anyone more. He had hope that she loved him enough to abandon the past.

He sighed, listening to the clock tick loudly on the wall. It was agitating him with each second.

He began playing with his hands and throwing occasional glances at the clock.

After he had been waiting for at least an hour and it was well past midnight, he began to hear jingling on the doorknob from outside. About five seconds later, a very drunk Haley fell into the apartment, grabbing the doorknob for support. She slid onto the ground, falling back on the door. She groaned slightly.

"Haley?" he asked cautiously.

Haley groaned, taking her shoes off tiredly and sloppily. She threw them near the coat closet, proceeding to crawl to their bedroom while mumbling something.

Nathan followed her into their bedroom, attempting to help her proceed the simplest of tasks, but she quickly shooed him away.

"I can do bad all by myself," she mumbled, her eyes drooping closed.

He watched her with concern as she stumbled around the room, finally falling back onto the bed.

"Hey, I need to tell you something," she said clearly as he attempted to pick up some of her clothes.

"What is it, Hales?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence as it sounded like Haley was thinking.

"I need to talk to Nathan."

* * *

Nathan held Haley for a few minutes after he woke up.

He had just been watching her sleep very peacefully, undisturbed. He was troubled with what he saw last night.

He wondered if Haley possibly had an issue with alcohol. He never wanted to accuse her of being alcoholic, but he was worried about her. He knew she had issues with alcohol after her dad died, and lately, it had been showing up again.

He was most concerned with whether or not she was happy. Lately, she seemed sort of happy, but it seemed very…forced. He never wanted her to feel like she was stuck in this relationship. Even if it killed him, he would let her go if that was what she really wanted.

The thought pained him so much. He just held her closer, as if he wanted her to realize in her sleep how much he never wanted to let her go.

"Nathan?" a pained Haley called out.

Nathan opened his eyes, breaking out of his daydream. He almost unwrapped his arms from around her, but she grabbed onto him tighter. It allowed Nathan to breathe out a small sigh of relief.

"Haley?" he asked.

"Did we go out last night?" Haley inquired, clearly hungover.

"No, but you did. And you said you needed to talk to me last night, but we don't need to know, Haley. I think you should just rest," Nathan insisted before he got up to draw the curtains closed. Knowing from firsthand experience how much the light hurt when hungover, he kept the room as dark as possible.

Haley smiled, thinking of how sweet he was. "Can you come back and hold me?" she asked after he closed the curtain.

He nodded, quickly jumping back into their bed and holding her. She let out a comfortable sigh.

Still, he was worried that there was something seriously wrong.

* * *

A few hours later, when Haley had become sober enough to recall what happened the previous night, she finally stepped out into the main apartment. Of course, the first things to catch her eye were the Star of Bethlehem flowers sitting on the kitchen island.

"These are so gorgeous!" she exclaimed as she got a better view.

He smiled, glad that she liked them. She picked them up immediately to smell them. She then placed them perfectly on the dining room table.

"They're so perfect," she commented absentmindedly. "Why did you get them?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I wanted them as a peace offering. I really wanted to talk to you."

Haley sat down at the table, waiting for him to say more. He sighed as he sat down kitty-corner from her.

"I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you about Lindsey. I wanted to, but…I don't know, Hales. I don't want this to affect our relationship, because I love you so much. But I'm worried about you. You seemed really upset about something yesterday. And I caught you the other day," Nathan said vaguely.

Haley let out a nervous laugh. "What? Caught me?"

"I caught you crying in the closet. What's wrong? Is everything okay?" he asked, taking her hand.

Haley wriggled free. "Yes, I'm fine. Nathan, nothing was going on the other day," she retorted somewhat harshly.

Nathan watched her, confused as he watched her walk back into their bedroom, closing the door softly. It wasn't a door slam, but he kind of wished it was, just so he would be clear on where she stood—right now, things were just unclear for the both of them.

* * *

Haley contemplated going out, uncharacteristically wanting to avoid Nathan on his day off. But suddenly, the sun hid away and dark storm clouds festered over Tree Hill. Those plans had gone out the window.

Haley sighed as she walked out of the bedroom, pulling her sweater closer to her small frame. Nathan looked up from the crossword, hoping Haley would finally be willing to talk.

Haley went into the fridge to get a water bottle. She observed Nathan wearily, not saying anything to him. She kept thinking about what Lindsey had said…that Nathan was acting.

"Do you really love me?"

Nathan looked at her, very confused. "Of course, I do. Why would you even ask that?" he answered easily.

She stared at him for a moment longer. Certainly, her question had caught him off-guard and rattled his nerves, but she couldn't tell much more. She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Are you having doubts about this relationship?" he asked with concern.

She shrugged again. "I don't know," she repeated.

"This is kind of sudden. You were perfectly fine last week," he commented.

Though he realized that with the mood she was in, this comment would likely be met with a bitter comeback, Haley acted indifferently. "I'm just starting to wonder about my life, I guess. I'm starting to wonder what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I don't want to play games," she insisted.

He frowned. "Do you think I'm playing games with you?" he inquired sadly.

She sighed. "Given my track record, it just makes me really nervous. I don't want to relive my past relationships. They were self-harming," she explained.

"I'm not playing games with you, Hales. I _promise _you that that isn't what this is. I love you so much and I would never want to hurt you."

Though she tried very hard to ignore what Lindsey had said the other day, she couldn't help but think of it in the very back of her mind. It agitated her.

Finally, she nodded, accepting this explanation. She began to walk back towards the room. She stopped outside the door, glancing back over at Nathan, who looked at her sadly. She turned back and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Nathan, I believe you," whispered against his lips.

She could feel a smile spread across his lips. That made her smile, as she realized it was right.

"I love you, too," she answered softly.

And she finally believed it.

* * *

Ugh, he knew he shouldn't have been looking.

But there was curiosity lingering in his mind. Yes, he felt guilty about looking where he shouldn't, but it didn't keep the inquisitiveness from flourishing.

He looked back at the door of the closet, hoping that he would hear Haley come back and that he would have a viable excuse for not following through with his interest.

He knew it was wrong.

Still, he braced himself and looked for the box which Haley had been shedding tears over just a day ago. He finally found it among her undergarments, buried under a bunch of knee-high and thigh-high socks.

He bit his lip as he pulled it out and put it on the floor in front of him. He became nervous just looking at it. He wondered just how much pain this could've possibly caused the love of his life.

Finally, he just decided to open the box. He saw all of the pictures and mementos of her son, or who he assumed her son to be. He never actually saw her son, or even saw her very pregnant, but he could just imagine. Looking at her son, he could see his features easily in his face. He had a smile much like his mother's.

He just thought that he couldn't even begin to imagine all the pain and happiness Haley had to endure while looking at this box filled with bittersweet memories.

Outside, he heard the door open to the apartment, and he heard Haley enter with a sigh. Quickly, he scrambled to put the box back properly, as if he was never even there.

A minute later, as Nathan had finally gotten up and was about to leave the closet, Haley appeared in the doorway.

"I got takeout. We can watch a movie," she suggested.

He nodded with a slight smile. "Sounds great. I'll be right out.

She smiled and left the room.

He looked over his shoulder at the drawer, thinking about the box once more.

* * *

_Before I get reamed by anyone, I want everyone to understand that Haley and Nathan are in a very odd position with their relationship right now, so if you were hoping Nathan would seriously confront Haley on what he saw, I'm sorry, but I feel like he would be a bit reluctant to ask her. And I think first, he has to know WHAT exactly she was crying about! I promise, there will be some sort of confrontation on this sometime in the future :) Let me know your thoughts on this chapter. Thank you all for your reviews and constructive criticism, I have taken all those into account and I am definitely working those improvements into this story and others! This is my first story, so I am prone to making mistakes, but I am learning so I do appreciate any sort of feedback, as it helps me as a writer! _

_With that being said, o__nto the reviews! _

**_thibbs65: _**_Thank you! Nathan and Haley missing each other is really cute. Clay and Lindsey, huh? I think they'd make a good couple as well because they can relate to each other on a different level. I think if they were potentially to fall in love I wouldn't think it would necessarily cause Naley any drama, but it would be awkward and tense for sure. Interesting theory, however, I will debunk it and say Nathan and Rachel do not sleep together after the Naley breaking up. The status of their relationship and how it began will be explained later for sure. I promise it will make sense. Rachel's relationship with the girls and Nathan are very sweet, so for Rachel do that would be a real shocker that's for sure. I do agree cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone, and you truly don't love someone if the thought of cheating had crossed your mind. If you truly loved the person you were with, the thought of hurting them would break you as a person, because the last thing you want to do is cause the person you're in love with any pain. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage! That's wonderful. Here's to many more! _

**_dianehermans: _**_I mean who does? Just kidding, Clay is __not that bad I promise. He does come around to the idea of Naley, as well as, Haley as an individual. _

**_Guest: _**_Jamie is part of this story, however, as I mentioned before he will not be appearing in the past sequence chapters as I want to build on the relationships of Nathan and Haley, Brooke and Lucas, and Jake and Peyton. Those relationships are important, and especially for Naley as Nathan has never met Jamie. This could be a part of the demise of their relationship. I will say, however, he featured more in the present chapters. As of right now, he is with Haley's parents and they watching him for now as she finishes school and focuses on her relationship with Nathan. Plus, Nathan has no idea what Jamie looks like or anything, as he not seen pictures. He only knows of him by Haley mentioning him. They have met in chapter four I believe, but their relationship and the relationship between Jamie and Haley will also be built later on as he is a pivotal point in their relationship. However, he will not be seen in these past chapters as he does not fit into this part of the story. Haley crying over Jamie is her guilt for leaving him with her parents, and because she misses him. Thank you for liking this story! but may I ask what about the chronological aspects of this story don't work? I would love to know so I can improve on that for this story going forward as well as my future stories. _

_**Guest:** Nathan will inevitably screw up for sure, as he's human, but it won't be anything big. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! _**_~Sidney_**


	12. Chapter 12

_"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."_

_\- Oscar Wilde_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**January 20, 2007**

Nathan looked at the clock once more. In the last fifteen minutes, he had probably looked about seven times, checking on when Haley would finally come out.

"Hales?" he asked again.

"Nathan! Calm down! I'll be out in a minute!" she shouted harshly from the bathroom.

He made a mental note not to call her again. Finally, about three minutes later, Haley emerged. Nathan was speechless. She was always beautiful, but she looked amazing now.

"You hate it, don't you?" she asked self-consciously before moving to get a new outfit from their closet.

"No! Haley, you look amazing," he said, barely forming the words.

She frowned. "This dress looks horrible, doesn't it? I'm sorry. I just can't find the one I was looking fo—"

She stopped immediately as Nathan put his hands on her arms, running them up and down slowly. She could feel his breath on her neck. She gulped.

"Haley, you look beautiful. I always think you look beautiful, but now…you're stunning," he promised her. "Now, come on. We have to get to dinner now."

She nodded, gulping again. "Nathan? I promised Peyton that we would make Anna's birthday cake for tomorrow, so maybe…we could do that when we come back?" she asked, not facing him.

He nodded. "Sure. It sounds like fun."

* * *

"What does the term 'sensible shoes' mean, anyway? I wear three inches or I wear nothing. But preferably, I wear three inches," Brooke said before she took a sip of coffee.

Peyton rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her brunette friend. As she paused between solving Sudoku, she looked up and saw a familiar blonde ordering up front at the coffee place.

"Hey, wait. Is that—?"

Peyton trailed off and Brooke turned to see the blonde.

"What is with this girl?" Peyton asked finally.

Brooke turned back, taking out her dangling earrings and putting them on the table. "I don't know, but I'm dealing with this bitch now," she announced, getting up. Peyton was frozen for a moment before she got up and chased her.

Brooke wasn't letting Peyton stop her. She wasn't Nathan's best friend, but his friend, nonetheless, and she wanted him to be happy. Though he seemed happy, his relationship with Lindsey was always chaotic.

She was never around for him. She was always out doing God-knows-what with God-knows-who God-knows-where. He was always crushed, sitting at home, waiting for her. He gave a lot in the relationship, only to get very little.

Brooke stood on the side, never saying anything. But she _should've. _Nathan was being abused mentally, and it was ugly. She was a snake.

Lindsey was just walking away from the counter when she almost ran into Brooke.

"Brooke? Brooke Davis?" she inquired, beginning to smile as she looked at Brooke.

Brooke greeted her with stone-cold silence. She wasn't amused.

Lindsey's smile faded. "What's wrong?"

Peyton finally stood next to Brooke. Lindsey looked from the brunette to the blonde, thinking.

"We need to talk," Brooke announced finally.

* * *

Haley fidgeted with her hands as she waited for Nathan to come back to their table. She fiddled with the ring resting on her right ring finger. She twirled it around, unable to keep her fingers still. She examined it intently.

Absentmindedly, she took the flashy piece of jewelry off her right hand and placed it on her left ring finger. She shifted it so the dim light would catch it perfectly. She smiled, subconsciously hoping that one day, that finger would be occupied with a more expensive, flashier ring.

Nathan came back. Haley snapped up in attention.

He looked at her with some kind of amusement. "What are you doing, Hales?"

"Nothing," she promised innocently as she took a sip of red wine.

He noticed the ring resting on her finger. "Are you hoping to get a glimpse into your future?" he asked playfully.

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He pointed towards her ring. Blushing, she took it off and placed it in her original place.

"Haley," he began. He took her hands in his, so they were holding hands across the table. "It's not bad to want that for the two of us. Is marriage something that you want?" he asked.

Haley sighed. "I'm not going to lie, Nathan, and say that it's something I'm never going to want, because I know I will, eventually. But I'm just scared that…maybe our relationship will end like mine with Clay. He really wasn't cheating on me until we got engaged." Haley only realized she had begun to cry when Nathan reached across the table to wipe the tear away. "I don't want us to end like that."

"Haley…I would never, _ever_ cheat on you. Please believe me when I say that. I would never hurt you in the way he has. And I don't want you to ever think that any of it was your fault."

"But what if…what if I'm no good at marriage? What if that's what happened to Clay and I? What if you—"

"I'm not going anywhere, as much as I can tell you're trying to get rid of me," Nathan joked.

Haley gave him a slight smile at his attempt at humour.

One of the things she loved most about him.

* * *

"You _what_?" Peyton asked, her eyes widening.

Lindsey looked down at the floor. "I know. I'm horrible. But I just didn't…I wasn't serious about the relationship, okay? I was sixteen. I was so young. I didn't understand what love really was. I just wanted to have fun," she whimpered.

"Are you trying to tell us that you never saw Nathan as more than casual sex? You led him on for that long?" Brooke inquired, incredulous.

"No, no! I want to make it really clear to both of you that I considered Nathan my boyfriend. But I used the term really loosely. I didn't think about all the commitment it was, and I really never considered us 'serious'," Lindsey explained.

Brooke scoffed. "You were dating for three freaking years!" she exclaimed.

"I know," she replied sheepishly. "I know I screwed up, too. And it's not fair for me to ask him to take me back now that he's with that other girl. But honestly, what does she have that I don't? I just want him back so badly. But he wants someone else…"

Peyton suddenly became very defensive. "What 'That Girl' has that _you _don't is the unconditional love for him. She loves him with all her heart and _never, ever_ takes him for granted. She appreciates him and loves him as much as he deserves it. She _knows_ that she could lose him at any given moment and she cherishes the time she has with him. And something she also has that you don't is _his _heart and _his _love. You don't deserve him, Lindsey. You never cared enough to realize how much he loved you. You broke his heart, and you didn't even care. You still don't care. All you really want is for him to take you back because you've finally realized that he would treat you better than anyone else because he is amazing. He's selfless and he's a great friend and a great boyfriend. But you're never going to know because when you had the chance, you didn't take it. Now your chance is over, and it's Haley's turn. If things don't work out for them and you can actually _prove _that you'd love him and cherish him as much as he did you, then _maybe _you could try and make things work."

Brooke, moved by Peyton's words, finally spoke. "But that's never going to happen because Haley loves him as much as he deserves to be loved. They're perfect together, and they're not going to let you get in between their endless love," she added.

Peyton nodded in agreement.

Lindsey sighed. "There's something else that I wanted to tell you," she began, kind of switching the subject.

"What is it?" Peyton inquired curtly.

"Did you get knocked up or something?" Brooke asked, only half-joking.

Lindsey shook her head, looking down at her thumbs nervously.

"I never told anyone the real reason why I left. It wasn't just because I thought I didn't really love him."

Peyton rolled her eyes impatiently, while Brooke seemed a little more willing to hear.

"I found a Tiffany box in his clothes. There was a ring inside."

* * *

"Nathan, where do you keep the mixing bowl?" Haley inquired as she searched throughout the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen.

Nathan came out, not wearing a shirt. Haley, in her frantic state, didn't notice. She continued to look.

"What are you looking for?"

"A mixing bowl. And don't you even dare think of seducing me until we're done with the cake. I promised Peyton I'd help, and it's the least I can do for my little bumblebee," Haley warned.

"Seduce you? When have I ever done that?" he asked innocently.

She laughed. "When have you _not _done that? There was that night at the hotel, the morning after at the hotel, that afternoon in that hotel—"

"Hey, I was trying to give you a very romantic day, Hales. Can you blame me? You're gorgeous," he replied, touching her arm.

"Yeah, that was fun. Anyway, then there was the next week after I got home from work, the night I moved in, the day after you came back from New York—"

"I wouldn't consider that being seduction," he argued.

"You_ seduced _me," she retorted.

He stood, mouth agape. "What about those times you seduced me?"

"Like when?" she inquired with a laugh.

"Every other time."

She looked over her shoulder at him, finally taking in the view. Her eyes remained on his torso. She tried parting her eyes, but they didn't seem to cooperate with her brain. She closed her eyes instead.

"God, Nathan, you're doing it again. Could you please put on a freaking shirt and help me you're too sexy," she asked.

"Jeez. Fine, Hales," Nathan mumbled, leaving the room.

She bit her lip, finally pulling out a glass mixing bowl. Nathan came out a minute later (fully clothed).

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I just want this to be as perfect as possible. Anna is my only niece, and I love her so much. I mean, after everything that happened…I'm so thankful to have her and—"

"Shh, Haley. I know," he said, holding her, kissing her on the head. She took a deep breath.

"So, what kind of cake are you making?" he inquired with a smile.

Haley relaxed, smiling at him.

* * *

"Nathan, no! You have to level off the measuring cup or it's not right!" Haley scolded, taking the cup from him.

"You just put that _unleveled _cup of sugar in the mix," he retorted.

She rolled her eyes. "You can never have enough sugar, and there's already a lot of chocolate in this recipe for the icing. If we don't get it right, then—"

She stopped abruptly. She looked down at the apron she was wearing, spotting white powder on the side. She looked over at Nathan, who was silent, leaning against the counter, seemingly proud of himself.

"Oops," he said mockingly.

She shook her head. She took the cup of cocoa in her hand and poured it over his head. She smiled, putting the measuring cup down.

"Oops," she replied, mirroring his mocking nature.

When this failed to get a rise out of him, Haley picked up one of the eggs, weighing it in her hand. Nathan looked at her curiously. She smirked. Then, she cracked it on the counter, and then over his head. He watched the egg drip onto his face and eventually off of his head.

"Honey, are you egg-cited, or are you just happy to see me?" she asked with a smirk.

"That's it," he answered. "Baby, come here and give me a kiss," he prompted.

She shook her head. "No way. Get away from me!" she answered with a laugh before she took more of the flour and threw it at him.

"But I just love you so much! Come back here!" he called as he continued to chase her around the counter.

Finally, he chased her so she was behind the sink. She grabbed the hose, pointing it towards Nathan.

"Haley!"

"Don't come any closer!" she warned.

"We can talk about this—"

Haley turned on the water, warning him that she was ready to spray him. "Don't move," she warned.

"Hales—"

Before he could finish what he wanted to say, Haley sprayed him with water. He became drenched within a few seconds.

Haley bit her lip, concealing a laugh as she looked at him. She was sure she also looked horrific after the whole food fight. She was sure she didn't look anything like he did, though.

"Nathan…" she began. But she stopped herself. She couldn't conceal her laughter.

"I'm going to go take a shower because I desperately need it. You can finish…this," he said before turning and leaving.

As she watched him leave, she burst into more laughter. In the midst of it, the timer went off. She quickly went to the oven to get the cake, taking it out and placing it on the cooling rack.

Suddenly, she felt very bored. She decided to go into their room. She heard the water running in the bathroom.

She caught a look of herself in the mirror.

* * *

Inside the shower, Nathan heard (and saw) the door creak open slightly. He was startled to see Haley there.

"Hey, Nathan?" she asked, her voice echoing throughout the bathroom. "I think I have to join you."

Haley walked up to the shower door, and Nathan finally got a good look at her.

"I think you're right."

* * *

"Haley! I know you have a hint of OCD, but I swear, the cake is fine," Nathan promised Haley as she continued to mess with the icing on the cake.

"Really, Haley, you need to calm down," Lucas prompted from behind.

Haley sighed, stepping away from the cake. "Are you two going to promise not to ruin it?" she asked.

They both nodded in unison. "Yes."

She sighed once more before she placed it gingerly into a box. She closed it gently, careful not to ruin any of the icing.

"It came out really well, Hales," Lucas insisted.

"Thank you, Luke. I worked really hard on it. I hope Anna likes it," she replied.

Nathan laughed. "Hales, Anna is turning one today. I'm pretty sure that if it's cake, she'll like it," he informed her.

Haley nudged Nathan. "Hey. You could at least _pretend _to make me feel better about slaving over it all last night."

Before Nathan could respond, Lucas nudged him. "Hey, we should bring this over and you can help me with all of the stuff for Anna's birthday party. Come on," Lucas said before this could escalate into a food fight like last night.

"You can tell Peyton I'll be over soon. I just have to get some things cleaned up and I still have to write out her card," Haley told Lucas.

"Sure, Hales!" he called as he and Nathan left the room.

* * *

An hour later, Haley looked at herself in the mirror as she put in her diamond studs. She loved them so much.

She took a deep breath as she looked at herself. Her thoughts wandered as she thought of mirrors, how they looked into different dimensions, and parallels they manifested in her life.

Her reverie was broken when there was a knock at the door.

She opened it up and was shocked as she saw Clay standing before her. She furrowed her eyebrows, confusion showing itself all across her face.

"Clay? What are you doing here?" she asked, truly muddled.

"I wanted to talk to you, Haley," he said.

Haley reluctantly allowed him in the apartment. She watched him uncomfortably.

"Clay, I don't want to play games. I already told you everything about Jamie. What do you want?" she asked, calmly, but clearly lacking much patience.

He sighed. "I just keep thinking so much about our son. And it just keeps me thinking of what could've been for the two of us," he said slowly.

She raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying?" she inquired anxiously.

"I keep thinking about our son and…it makes me want a child."

Haley continued to look at him with looks of confusion.

"Haley…I want to have a child together."

It took her a moment to process that statement. Finally, when it went through her mind, she stared at him, wide-eyed.

"What?"

He sighed again. "Thinking about him all the time makes me want a child. And you're the only person I really ever considered having a child with, ever," he said.

She shook her head, flustered. "So let me get this straight. You're telling me that you'd like me to dump Nathan so I can have a child with you, who cheated on me all throughout our engagement," she recapped. "No way! Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"I'm not asking you to break up with him, or for us to be together. I just want to have a child with you," he said.

Haley shook her head incessantly. "I think you must be on something, Clay. There's no way in hell that I'm going to have a baby with you," she said before she led him out the door and closed it behind him.

* * *

Brooke held Anna in her arms. "Happy birthday, beautiful girl! It's your birthday today," she said, before kissing the little girl on the cheek. Anna's cheek turned a little pink, both from her blushing and a stain from Brooke's lipstick.

"Brooke, you look good with a kid. Are you and Lucas getting any ideas?" Peyton asked.

Brooke scoffed. "Dream on, P. Sawyer," she retorted.

"Where is Haley?" Peyton inquired.

"I don't know. Lucas said she said she'd be here soon; she just needed to get some stuff done. Why? You seem on edge," Rachel noted suspiciously.

Peyton sighed. "Brooke and I need to tell you, Rachel. We found Lindsey the other day in the coffee shop and we confronted her," she began.

"You guys are so great! Did you tell her to back off?" Rachel interrupted.

"We told her to give up on Nathan, but that Bee-In-The-Curious-Hive didn't want to listen. She kept moaning and complaining about how she's so in love with Nathan or some BS like that," Brooke explained, lacking the patience to talk about Lindsey any longer.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "I'm somehow guessing that you two weren't as calm as you are talking to me right now," she commented.

"Hey! I was not the one who got angry. It was Peyton, for once," Brooke said before cuddling up to Anna.

Needless to say, Rachel was surprised that the supposed peacemaker was the one to get mad. "Really? Peyton, what did you say?"

"Nothing bad, I promise. I just told her to leave them alone, because nothing will ever transpire between her and Nathan, anyway," Peyton explained.

Rachel nodded mockingly, not really believing that. Peyton was about to speak in her defence when the apartment door opened and Haley walked in. Brooke immediately noticed something was wrong with her, and quickly passed Anna off to Peyton.

"Hales? What's wrong?" Brooke asked with concern, being the first to greet her.

Haley sighed. "Nothing's wrong." She tried her best to come up with a good lie. "My car just had some problems, but it's not a big deal," she lied simply.

"How did you get here?" Peyton asked as Anna reached out to touch Haley.

Haley smiled and held Anna's hand. She finally turned to Peyton. "My car eventually started, but I think I have to bring it in to get checked out," she explained. She kissed Anna on the forehead. "Happy birthday!" she cooed sweetly.

"Do you want to hold Anna for a minute?" Peyton asked.

Before she actually got a chance to answer, Anna was handed to her. Anna immediately began playing with Haley's hair. She began mumbling something into Haley's neck. She loved Haley so much.

"So what did I miss?" Haley asked.

Brooke and Rachel stood tight-lipped as Peyton left to go get something for Haley. Finally, Rachel spoke. "Not much. We were just talking about you."

"What about me?"

"You and Nathan, mostly," Brooke said.

It wasn't a total lie since they were talking about them. But they were also talking about a certain blonde who was looking to re-enter Nathan's life…

"What about us?" Haley inquired curiously, nervously, almost.

"Not much. Just about how you guys have been getting closer lately. Is there something you're hiding from us, Hales?" Brooke asked suggestively.

"No! Of course not! Things are exactly the same!" Haley exclaimed. That was a lie, too. Things were better…but they were worse, too. It was an odd feeling Haley couldn't explain. She had no doubt that Nathan loved her, but she felt them growing apart.

Brooke nodded. "Just checking. But you will let us know when something happens, right?" she asked.

"Brooke! Leave Haley alone. She'll indulge what she wants about her relationship. But Haley, I wanted to give this to you," Peyton said as she walked back over to the girls. She handed Haley a black box. Haley took it with her free hand.

"What is this?" Haley asked.

"Don't open it right this minute. It's a present from me. You'll understand when you see it."

Hesitantly, Haley accepted this. She handed Anna back over to Peyton and looked at the box awkwardly.

* * *

Haley and Peyton watched as Jake and Nathan played with Anna. Rachel, Brooke, and Lucas had left a while ago.

"You can open that box now if you want to," Peyton informed Haley.

Reluctantly, Haley looked through her bag and found the box. She opened the box and saw a silver locket.

She looked at Peyton, hoping for an explanation. Peyton simply responded, "Open it."

Haley listened and opened the locket. She saw pictures of her and Jamie in the hospital after he was born and another of the two of them, a month or two after he was born. Haley felt a little dizzy after seeing it.

"I know you're trying really hard to pretend nothing ever happened. It's not healthy, Hales. Jamie's here, and you love him. I know you're scared that if you open up to Nathan about him, it might upset him, but…what'll make him more upset is to see you in so much pain. Bottling it all up is worse for you. When you wear it, he'll be close to your heart," Peyton explained.

Haley bit her tongue, not sure how to respond. Peyton accepted that this necklace would make her feel uneasy, but did it anyway as some form of shock treatment for Haley.

"Nathan? Can we go now?" Haley asked as she stood up. Peyton let out a small sigh.

* * *

"Are you okay, Hales?" Nathan asked once they arrived home.

She nodded, not really offering much explanation for their sudden leave.

"Can you please get me some tea?" Haley asked weakly.

This automatically made him suspect something was up. Haley never requested tea unless she was feeling really awful, either physically or emotionally. "Sure," he replied.

Haley nodded, her back still to him before she went into their room. Haley walked into their closet and went to the very bottom of her underwear drawer, a place she knew Nathan would never look. She pulled out the familiar box with Jamies's things. She pulled the locket out of her bag and finally allowed herself to cry.

Nathan was just pouring the tea as he heard muffled sobs coming from their bedroom. He abandoned the tea on the counter and walked cautiously into the bedroom.

Haley, meanwhile, was still in the closet, crying profusely. She sniffled one last time, tears still rolling down her face freely before she put the box into the larger box with the other collection of Jamie's life so far.

Outside, the closet door, which was left ajar, allowed Nathan to see it all. His heart slowly broke as he watched Haley attempt to pick up the pieces of her heart again and store them neatly away.

* * *

She knew she shouldn't have been looking at his phone, or even be tempted by it.

But that curious pit in her stomach egged her on, telling her to look.

As his phone vibrated for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes, she finally picked it up. She found a slew of text messages, all from Rachel.

_Hey, Nathan, I've been thinking a lot about your whole dilemma. We need to talk._

_Nathan! You need to text me back! You can't just ignore what Lindsey told you the other day!_

_Nathan, if you don't tell Haley about what happened, I guarantee someone else is going to tell her and she'll be really upset._

_If you don't tell Hales, you're going to hurt her! She'll find out eventually._

_Nathan, freaking text me back! You can't ignore me!_

_Fine, I see that you're just not going to answer, but you need to tell Haley about Lindsey dropping the l-word on you. It's a big deal, especially since the only person who should be dropping the l-word on you is Haley!_

_You're going to hurt Haley! Don't be stupid about this, Nathan!_

Haley tried to process what these urgent texts all meant. The l-word? Lindsey said she loved Nathan?

Haley's blood became cold. Why would she say that? When did she even get the chance to say that? Nathan ripped up her phone number. When did they meet up?

Above all her other thoughts, one poignant, fearful thought racked Haley with nervousness throughout her whole body.

_Did he say it back?_

* * *

Nathan walked in and found Haley sitting at the island in their kitchen. She had a glass of red wine to the side, but she was absentmindedly staring at his cellphone, which he had left there by accident. He could tell something was really wrong.

Haley didn't move or even flinch when he walked in. Nathan was almost scared to say something to her.

"You left your phone here this morning," she said, her normally soothing voice harshly cutting through the silence. She was stoic as she took a drink of wine. "Rachel kept texting you throughout the day. It was almost obsessive," she added calmly.

He didn't even question her picking up his phone. "What did she want?" he asked, a lump rising in his throat due to his nervousness.

"She wanted to talk to you about Lindsey."

He felt his heart race. He really hoped she didn't find out about—

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Lindsey?"

_Damn it._

"I…I don't know," he choked out. Haley let out a small sigh before she looked at an imaginary chip in her nail polish. Nathan dropped his things and sat down next to her. "Haley, she doesn't matter anymore."

Haley let out a sardonic laugh. "Nathan…don't tell me that. I know you want that to be true, but you don't have to pretend. She was your first love, and you never forget your first love. I know she'll always have a piece of your heart," she replied. He wasn't quite sure whether she was sad about this or accepting…or both.

"She doesn't have to have my heart. I want you to have all of it," he replied sheepishly.

"I'm not mad at you about it. I'm just disappointed that you felt you couldn't tell me."

Clearly, it was bothering her more than she was letting on.

He took her hand. He felt her get a little uncomfortable at that, and it honestly hurt him. "Haley, nothing really transpired at that meeting—"

"Nathan, she told you she loved you," she answered sadly.

He thought about that for a minute.

"I only told you that a month or two ago," she said.

Before Nathan could process what was happening, Haley had already gotten her coat and her bag. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going out. Clearly, we both need time to think," Haley explained.

"Are you coming back?" he inquired nervously.

Haley saw that he was scared. After a moment of staring, she nodded. "I just need time to think. And I think you do, too."

With that, she was out the door.

* * *

Haley walked into the bar, shaking water droplets off her body. She was hoping to find a certain hazel-eyed brunette.

To her discontent, she had already clocked out. She was really hoping she could interrogate Rachel on what Nathan had told her.

She decided that it was probably for the best that Nathan wasn't there; maybe ignorance was bliss. But still, she wanted so badly to know every single gory detail. She hated to admit it, but she was _jealous._

Of what, she wasn't sure exactly. She _knew _Nathan loved her, but…Lindsey had some kind of quality that was just kind of mystifying about her. She was just charismatic in a subtle way.

Why was she saying this about someone who would want nothing more than to steal her boyfriend for her own? Haley suddenly felt ridiculous for thinking of Lindsey in this light.

Deciding not to waste the trip to a bar, Haley flagged down the bartender and ordered a cocktail, which she drank quickly before getting something stronger.

She finally noticed a blue-eyed blonde sitting on the other end of the bar, about four or five stools away. It was pretty empty, being relatively early in the night. She finally realized this girl was the devil she was just speaking of.

"Haley?" Lindsey asked with eager surprise in her voice. "I didn't expect to see you here!" she exclaimed.

Haley forced a fake smile. "Neither did I," she said rather glumly with mustered enthusiasm. She quickly threw back a shot, the liquor burning down her throat. She ordered two more.

"Are you looking for Rachel?" Lindsey asked knowingly.

Haley looked over her shoulder at Lindsey cautiously. "How did you know?"

Lindsey shrugged. "Sometimes I used to go to her for advice on things involving Nathan," she said nonchalantly.

Haley turned to look at Lindsey. "What makes you think I'm here because of Nathan?"

"Why would you come here to talk to her? I just remember that when I was having issues with him, I'd always go to either Rachel for advice, since the blonde didn't like me much," she explained.

Haley rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything. I just wanted to see Rachel."

The two shots quickly arrived, and she downed them just as quickly as the first.

"You must be in a lot of trouble," Lindsey commented.

"Please just leave me alone," Haley said bitterly.

"I'm just trying to help you, girl-to-girl. You drank those pretty easily. You and Nathan must be having serious problems. What is it about?"

"You!" Haley snapped in the heat of the moment. "I know about you saying that you loved him."

Lindsey didn't really have an explanation for this. She flagged down the bartender and ordered shots for both of them.

* * *

Nathan bit his lip as he waited for Rachel's reaction.

"What do you want me to say, Nathan?" Rachel asked finally.

"Something comforting?" he pleaded. "Anything?" he added, finally.

Rachel sighed. "I'm not going to tell you that you didn't screw up; you did. But not for going to meet with Lindsey. That was a mature, adult thing to do. What you screwed up on was not telling Haley the moment it happened. If you had been honest from the start, none of this would've happened," Rachel said.

He nodded. "I know. I messed up; this is all my fault. But I don't want this to ruin our whole relationship. What should I do to prove to her that I made a mistake, and I love her?"

"Well, she's probably feeling jealous right now, Nathan. Another woman told you she _loves _you. It's not some casual crush or anything; she actually _loves _you."

Nathan sighed sadly. "Thanks, Rach. You didn't need to rub that in."

"You wanted my honest opinion! Haley is going to be jealous, which means you really need to articulate how much you love her and care about her. You need to tell her how much you appreciate her presence in your life and how much you need her. Girls want to hear those things. She won't leave you. But if you want things to be the same as they were, you need to talk to her about this, because that's what mature adults do. You can't just push it under the rug."

Nathan sighed but nodded acceptingly. He contemplated some grand gesture of love, so Haley would know just how much he cared about her.

Finally, logic caught up to Rachel, and she was reminded of another dilemma.

"What are you going to say to Lindsey?"

Nathan sighed just thinking about Lindsey. He didn't hate her, per se, but there was bitterness left in him for the way things ended between the two of them. She didn't even have the decency to tell him in person; she left a letter, like a coward, after she had taken all her things with her. He didn't really have any hopes to talk to her again.

"What do I have to say to her?" he asked pessimistically.

Rachel scoffed. "Nathan, you have to talk to her. If you don't, she'll continue to have festering feelings for you. What happens when those feelings turn into something more and she decides she wants to try her hand at playing the homewrecker?" she asked.

"I'm not going to let that happen," he insisted.

Rachel smiled at her friend's naïveté. "Beyond the breath, there is no control. You can't say it'll never happen, because what if it does?" she inquired cleverly.

"I don't want anything to happen between me and Lindsey, though!" he exclaimed. "What do you think I should say to her?"

"If you want my honest opinion," she began, dragging out the words for eternity to torture him, "I think that you need to let her down gently. You don't want to turn her into that jilted lover who will try to kill one of you or both of you because she didn't get her man. Let her down easily. But you still need to make it very clear that you have no aspirations to have any connection to her, whatsoever."

"Do I need to do anything else, Doctor Rachel?" he asked playfully.

"Buy Haley flowers, because she deserves them, and if you're looking to apologize, that will certainly soften her up a bit, though you make her soften up a lot already," Rachel teased.

Nathan nodded with a smile. He was suddenly feeling a lot better about this whole thing.

Maybe things with Haley _would _work out, and there would be no need to repair his heart once more.

At least, he hoped so.

* * *

Haley looked around at the many, many blurry shapes all around her.

"Wait, so…you were his first?" Haley slurred. Even through the slur, she was a little saddened. Then again, he wasn't her first.

Lindsey nodded. "He was so sweet about it all. I really hate that I never realized how sweet he really was while we were dating. I was too busy trying to have it all. I never appreciated what was right in front of me," Lindsey answered in perfect English.

Haley let out a small, sad smile. "Sometimes, I feel that way, too. I feel like a bad girlfriend. I mean, he always tells me about how much he loves me…he buys me flowers…he paints me pictures…I feel like I'm his everything and he's just an adjunct in my life," she slurred.

Lindsey tutted in disapproval. "You know, I felt the exact same way. Maybe it's not us. Maybe it's him. Maybe it's all a show, Haley. I mean, do you think that he really thinks of us that much? Maybe he's just the kind of person who wants their girlfriend in the palm of their hand," she suggested.

Even though she was very drunk, Haley shook her head, denying it immediately. "No, he's not the type. He loves me."

"And I thought he loved me, too. He was ready to propose to me!" she slipped.

Haley looked at her strangely, almost sadly, though her mind was so clouded up. "Wait…when did you guys break up?"

"A year ago?"

Haley shrugged. "He's moved on," she said.

Lindsey sighed, unsatisfied. "Still. I think he might be acting like a saint. He was always too good to be true," Lindsey explained over the music in the bar.

Haley thought about it for a minute, very sad about the whole idea.

* * *

Nathan sat and stared at the Star of Bethlehems in a vase on the table.

He had hope. He had hope that Haley would come home soon and they would quickly make up. He had hope that they would move on from this. He had hope that she would realize he never loved anyone more. He had hope that she loved him enough to abandon the past.

He sighed, listening to the clock tick loudly on the wall. It was agitating him with each second.

He began playing with his hands and throwing occasional glances at the clock.

After he had been waiting for at least an hour and it was well past midnight, he began to hear jingling on the doorknob from outside. About five seconds later, a very drunk Haley fell into the apartment, grabbing the doorknob for support. She slid onto the ground, falling back on the door. She groaned slightly.

"Haley?" he asked cautiously.

Haley groaned, taking her shoes off tiredly and sloppily. She threw them near the coat closet, proceeding to crawl to their bedroom while mumbling something.

Nathan followed her into their bedroom, attempting to help her proceed the simplest of tasks, but she quickly shooed him away.

"I can do bad all by myself," she mumbled, her eyes drooping closed.

He watched her with concern as she stumbled around the room, finally falling back onto the bed.

"Hey, I need to tell you something," she said clearly as he attempted to pick up some of her clothes.

"What is it, Hales?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence as it sounded like Haley was thinking.

"I need to talk to Nathan."

* * *

Nathan held Haley for a few minutes after he woke up.

He had just been watching her sleep very peacefully, undisturbed. He was troubled with what he saw last night.

He wondered if Haley possibly had an issue with alcohol. He never wanted to accuse her of being alcoholic, but he was worried about her. He knew she had issues with alcohol after her dad died, and lately, it had been showing up again.

He was most concerned with whether or not she was happy. Lately, she seemed sort of happy, but it seemed very…forced. He never wanted her to feel like she was stuck in this relationship. Even if it killed him, he would let her go if that was what she really wanted.

The thought pained him so much. He just held her closer, as if he wanted her to realize in her sleep how much he never wanted to let her go.

"Nathan?" a pained Haley called out.

Nathan opened his eyes, breaking out of his daydream. He almost unwrapped his arms from around her, but she grabbed onto him tighter. It allowed Nathan to breathe out a small sigh of relief.

"Haley?" he asked.

"Did we go out last night?" Haley inquired, clearly hungover.

"No, but you did. And you said you needed to talk to me last night, but we don't need to know, Haley. I think you should just rest," Nathan insisted before he got up to draw the curtains closed. Knowing from firsthand experience how much the light hurt when hungover, he kept the room as dark as possible.

Haley smiled, thinking of how sweet he was. "Can you come back and hold me?" she asked after he closed the curtain.

He nodded, quickly jumping back into their bed and holding her. She let out a comfortable sigh.

Still, he was worried that there was something seriously wrong.

* * *

A few hours later, when Haley had become sober enough to recall what happened the previous night, she finally stepped out into the main apartment. Of course, the first things to catch her eye were the Star of Bethlehem flowers sitting on the kitchen island.

"These are so gorgeous!" she exclaimed as she got a better view.

He smiled, glad that she liked them. She picked them up immediately to smell them. She then placed them perfectly on the dining room table.

"They're so perfect," she commented absentmindedly. "Why did you get them?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I wanted them as a peace offering. I really wanted to talk to you."

Haley sat down at the table, waiting for him to say more. He sighed as he sat down kitty-corner from her.

"I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you about Lindsey. I wanted to, but…I don't know, Hales. I don't want this to affect our relationship, because I love you so much. But I'm worried about you. You seemed really upset about something yesterday. And I caught you the other day," Nathan said vaguely.

Haley let out a nervous laugh. "What? Caught me?"

"I caught you crying in the closet. What's wrong? Is everything okay?" he asked, taking her hand.

Haley wriggled free. "Yes, I'm fine. Nathan, nothing was going on the other day," she retorted somewhat harshly.

Nathan watched her, confused as he watched her walk back into their bedroom, closing the door softly. It wasn't a door slam, but he kind of wished it was, just so he would be clear on where she stood—right now, things were just unclear for the both of them.

* * *

Haley contemplated going out, uncharacteristically wanting to avoid Nathan on his day off. But suddenly, the sun hid away and dark storm clouds festered over Tree Hill. Those plans had gone out the window.

Haley sighed as she walked out of the bedroom, pulling her sweater closer to her small frame. Nathan looked up from the crossword, hoping Haley would finally be willing to talk.

Haley went into the fridge to get a water bottle. She observed Nathan wearily, not saying anything to him. She kept thinking about what Lindsey had said…that Nathan was acting.

"Do you really love me?"

Nathan looked at her, very confused. "Of course, I do. Why would you even ask that?" he answered easily.

She stared at him for a moment longer. Certainly, her question had caught him off-guard and rattled his nerves, but she couldn't tell much more. She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Are you having doubts about this relationship?" he asked with concern.

She shrugged again. "I don't know," she repeated.

"This is kind of sudden. You were perfectly fine last week," he commented.

Though he realized that with the mood she was in, this comment would likely be met with a bitter comeback, Haley acted indifferently. "I'm just starting to wonder about my life, I guess. I'm starting to wonder what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I don't want to play games," she insisted.

He frowned. "Do you think I'm playing games with you?" he inquired sadly.

She sighed. "Given my track record, it just makes me really nervous. I don't want to relive my past relationships. They were self-harming," she explained.

"I'm not playing games with you, Hales. I _promise _you that that isn't what this is. I love you so much and I would never want to hurt you."

Though she tried very hard to ignore what Lindsey had said the other day, she couldn't help but think of it in the very back of her mind. It agitated her.

Finally, she nodded, accepting this explanation. She began to walk back towards the room. She stopped outside the door, glancing back over at Nathan, who looked at her sadly. She turned back and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Nathan, I believe you," whispered against his lips.

She could feel a smile spread across his lips. That made her smile, as she realized it was right.

"I love you, too," she answered softly.

And she finally believed it.

* * *

Ugh, he knew he shouldn't have been looking.

But there was curiosity lingering in his mind. Yes, he felt guilty about looking where he shouldn't, but it didn't keep the inquisitiveness from flourishing.

He looked back at the door of the closet, hoping that he would hear Haley come back and that he would have a viable excuse for not following through with his interest.

He knew it was wrong.

Still, he braced himself and looked for the box which Haley had been shedding tears over just a day ago. He finally found it among her undergarments, buried under a bunch of knee-high and thigh-high socks.

He bit his lip as he pulled it out and put it on the floor in front of him. He became nervous just looking at it. He wondered just how much pain this could've possibly caused the love of his life.

Finally, he just decided to open the box. He saw all of the pictures and mementos of her son, or who he assumed her son to be. He never actually saw her son, or even saw her very pregnant, but he could just imagine. Looking at her son, he could see his features easily in his face. He had a smile much like his mother's.

He just thought that he couldn't even begin to imagine all the pain and happiness Haley had to endure while looking at this box filled with bittersweet memories.

Outside, he heard the door open to the apartment, and he heard Haley enter with a sigh. Quickly, he scrambled to put the box back properly, as if he was never even there.

A minute later, as Nathan had finally gotten up and was about to leave the closet, Haley appeared in the doorway.

"I got takeout. We can watch a movie," she suggested.

He nodded with a slight smile. "Sounds great. I'll be right out.

She smiled and left the room.

He looked over his shoulder at the drawer, thinking about the box once more.

* * *

_Before I get reamed by anyone, I want everyone to understand that Haley and Nathan are in a very odd position with their relationship right now, so if you were hoping Nathan would seriously confront Haley on what he saw, I'm sorry, but I feel like he would be a bit reluctant to ask her. And I think first, he has to know WHAT exactly she was crying about! I promise, there will be some sort of confrontation on this sometime in the future :) Let me know your thoughts on this chapter. Thank you all for your reviews and constructive criticism, I have taken all those into account and I am definitely working those improvements into this story and others! This is my first story, so I am prone to making mistakes, but I am learning so I do appreciate any sort of feedback, as it helps me as a writer! _

_With that being said, o__nto the reviews! _

**_thibbs65: _**_Thank you! Nathan and Haley missing each other is really cute. Clay and Lindsey, huh? I think they'd make a good couple as well because they can relate to each other on a different level. I think if they were potentially to fall in love I wouldn't think it would necessarily cause Naley any drama, but it would be awkward and tense for sure. Interesting theory, however, I will debunk it and say Nathan and Rachel do not sleep together after the Naley breaking up. The status of their relationship and how it began will be explained later for sure. I promise it will make sense. Rachel's relationship with the girls and Nathan are very sweet, so for Rachel do that would be a real shocker that's for sure. I do agree cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone, and you truly don't love someone if the thought of cheating had crossed your mind. If you truly loved the person you were with, the thought of hurting them would break you as a person, because the last thing you want to do is cause the person you're in love with any pain. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage! That's wonderful. Here's to many more! _

**_dianehermans: _**_I mean who does? Just kidding, Clay is __not that bad I promise. He does come around to the idea of Naley, as well as, Haley as an individual. _

**_Guest: _**_Jamie is part of this story, however, as I mentioned before he will not be appearing in the past sequence chapters as I want to build on the relationships of Nathan and Haley, Brooke and Lucas, and Jake and Peyton. Those relationships are important, and especially for Naley as Nathan has never met Jamie. This could be a part of the demise of their relationship. I will say, however, he featured more in the present chapters. As of right now, he is with Haley's parents and they watching him for now as she finishes school and focuses on her relationship with Nathan. Plus, Nathan has no idea what Jamie looks like or anything, as he not seen pictures. He only knows of him by Haley mentioning him. They have met in chapter four I believe, but their relationship and the relationship between Jamie and Haley will also be built later on as he is a pivotal point in their relationship. However, he will not be seen in these past chapters as he does not fit into this part of the story. Haley crying over Jamie is her guilt for leaving him with her parents, and because she misses him. Thank you for liking this story! but may I ask what about the chronological aspects of this story don't work? I would love to know so I can improve on that for this story going forward as well as my future stories. _

_**Guest:** Nathan will inevitably screw up for sure, as he's human, but it won't be anything big. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! _**_~Sidney_**


	13. Chapter 13

_"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." _

_– Helen Keller_

* * *

**A/N:** _All except Rachel & Clay are 20 in this chapter. Rachel is 24 and Clay is still 22. Oh, and this chapter will be shorter than the normal ones due to the cliff-hanger at the end. Thank you all for the reviews._

_ Enjoy! _

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**January 25, 2007**

Haley was just about ready to meet Brooke for lunch when the doorbell rang. She was pretty surprised, considering she wasn't expecting any company.

She opened up the door, groaning when she saw her ex-fiancé.

"What do you want, Clay?" she asked without any patience.

"I just wanted to know what you thought about the offer," he said persistently.

Haley sighed. "The answer is no, no, no, hell no. I'm not going to have a child with you! If you want one so much, why don't you adopt? Or find someone who's willing to have a kid with you? I don't know. Clay, I don't want to have a child with you. Yes, I got pregnant, but that doesn't mean I want to have another kid with you," she insisted.

"So what? Now you're scared to get pregnant? You need to face a fear."

"No, I'm not. I just don't want _your _child," she said bluntly. "And being pregnant is not like lightning—you're not going to get over that fear by being pregnant," she responded as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Haley—"

"No, Clay, you really need to leave me alone. I'm not interested in whatever you're selling."

"Selling? When did this turn into a business transaction?"

"I don't know. When did everything in your life turn into a business transaction?" she asked sharply. "Aren't you forgetting that that's when we started falling apart in the first place?"

He thought about it. Haley abruptly pushed him out the door and locked it behind him.

* * *

Rachel walked into Peyton's apartment, finding it seemingly empty except for the little girl who was sitting on the floor, playing with some colourful building blocks.

"Hello?" she asked, confused.

Peyton stepped out of her bedroom, fixing a long chain earring in her ear. She smiled at Rachel.

"Hey. Thank you so much for taking care of Anna while I'm on this date. I just don't feel like I've seen Jake one-on-one in…forever," Peyton explained with a laugh.

"Don't mention it. Both of you deserve it. You guys are doing such a great job raising Anna. You deserve a night out," Rachel replied with a smile. Anna looked over at the sound of her name. She began crawling towards Peyton.

Peyton bent down and picked her up. "I'll see you later, Anna," she said before kissing the little girl on the cheek. "I love you!" Peyton said.

Anna smiled at Peyton before Peyton handed her off to Rachel.

"You've taken care of Anna before, so you know where her stuff is and the numbers and everything. I'll be back later," she added but didn't move from her spot.

"Peyton, you're going to be late! I've got Anna; I promise. We'll be fine," Rachel insisted.

Peyton gave a sad smile. "Okay. I just don't want to—"

"Go, Peyton!"

* * *

Haley sighed as Brooke pushed back a piece of her best friend's hair. Lucas quickly came over with water for the two of them.

"What happened, Hales?" Brooke asked, her voice sodden with concern.

Haley sighed once more. "I don't know what to say about it…Clay wants to have a baby."

Lucas and Brooke's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "With you? Is he out of his freaking mind?"

"That's what I said," Haley replied.

"If he wants to have a baby, he could use a surrogate or adopt or get an egg donor or…I don't know…use Lindsey or something. Why would he ask you that?" Brooke inquired.

"Maybe he thinks that it's subtly asking me if I'll break up with Nathan and choose him instead," Haley speculated.

Lucas finally spoke. "You already chose Nathan over him. What makes him think that you'll suddenly change your mind?"

"I don't know. He's always been a little…arrogant," she explained.

Brooke put her hand protectively on Haley's. "We'll all always be here for you," she reminded her.

Haley smiled slightly. "I know, Brooke."

"Are you going to tell Nathan about all of this?" Lucas inquired nervously. He had both of their interests at heart. Over time, he had grown to truly love Haley, and Nathan was his brother.

Haley bit her lip nervously. "I want to, but…I almost feel like I can't now. He didn't even tell me about Lindsey. It makes me wonder if he realizes how deep we're in this relationship. I thought we told each other everything, but…I guess not…"

"Hales, don't say that. You and Nathan both love each other a lot. He was just scared. Believe me. I know this, as a guy…he made a mistake," Lucas said defensively over Nathan.

Haley contemplated this for a moment.

* * *

Peyton and Jake both walked alongside the dark Tree Hill streets.

"Where are we going?" Peyton asked impatiently.

"I told you it's a secret," he insisted.

She sighed. "I know, but the suspense is killing me here, Jake. Wait a minute, you're not bringing me to the woods to kill me, are you?" she inquired, only half-kidding.

"You're so morbid sometimes," Jake answered dismissively.

She laughed in response. They continued their slow walk down the dark block until they reached a grassy little space overlooking the water. It wasn't really a beach, but more like a riverbank. The mouth of the river poured out into the ocean, and skimming the ocean was the moon, which glowed a pretty bluish-white colour, glowing in the dark, star-splattered sky. The reflection of the moon rippled in the water, and the light stretched all down the river.

"Wow. This is beautiful. How did you know how gorgeous this would look?" she asked, still in awe at the beauty of the scene. "I wish I had my camera…" she commented absentmindedly.

"We could just sit down and stargaze?" Jake suggested hopefully.

Peyton smiled and nodded. She took his hand. "I like that idea."

They lay down on the grass. Jake loved that Peyton didn't really care about her hair or dress or anything like that; she was simple in those regards.

In his pocket, he picked out a particular object. He looked at it in his hand, examining the emerald-cut solitaire paved sparkling stone. The moonlight caught it beautifully, making it glisten brightly. He looked at Peyton's hand, which was in his. Absentmindedly, he placed the ring on Peyton's ring finger. Peyton finally figured out what he was doing.

She sat up abruptly, examining her finger. She was unsure about what he was trying to do.

"Jake…?" she inquired softly, hoping to get an explanation.

"Do you like it?" he asked simply.

Still confused, she nodded. "Yes, but…what is this?"

"An engagement ring," he answered plainly.

She sat, her mouth agape. "What are you trying to say?" she inquired nervously.

"I'm trying to say that it fits perfectly, and it's up to you if you want to keep it. We're pretty much already a family. Why not just make it official?" he asked. Though he seemed too nonchalant about all of this, he was just as nervous as any other guy, worried that she might reject him. But he had a lot more to lose.

Every passing moment of silence made him grow more and more nervous.

"It fits perfectly…" she commented, not really giving him an answer. "And it's beautiful."

He studied her, trying to read her expression. "So will you marry me, Peyton? I know this isn't how things usually happen; you're supposed to date, then get engaged and get married, and then have a kid. But I guess we're different," he said. They both knew it was just idle talk, stalling for time.

"I guess we are different; we had a kid, then started dating, then got engaged and married, and hopefully will have another child or two," she responded with ease.

At first, he didn't realize what she had just said. Suddenly, he realized what she just implied. "Is that a yes?" he inquired hopefully.

She nodded before she kissed him.

It wasn't a typical engagement, either, but like the rest of their relationship, neither of them would change a single thing about it.

* * *

Haley woke up with a groggy feeling. The grogginess was soon wiped away when she smelt coffee wafting throughout the apartment.

She looked over and saw Nathan already drinking coffee, with a second cup beside him. He handed it over to her when she walked over.

She smiled at him, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you," she answered.

"What are you doing today?" he asked.

She thought about it. "I'm going to teach a few classes and then I'm going to see Rachel, Brooke, and Peyton. Peyton really wanted to see us. She didn't say why, though. She just sounded really excited over the phone," she explained.

He nodded. He had been thinking about what he was going to do all day, and he had a very good idea of who was going to help him with this task.

"I'd better go get ready," she said, breaking him out of his daydream before they kissed each other softly in the lips.

He became very excited in his own thoughts once he saw her leave the room.

* * *

"What big thing are you planning?" she asked impatiently.

"Can you calm down for five seconds? I'll show you in a minute, but I have to get it out of the safe deposit box. Just wait here for me, okay? And then I'll show you," he explained.

She sighed, agitated. She waited outside, examining her nails and cuticles as he went into the safety deposit box room.

Another five minutes later, he came back out, holding the object he had searched for. She began to get very excited, hardly being able to wait when he held the object away, taunting her.

"Show me, show me, show me, show me!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down from excitement.

He finally showed her.

She looked at the object in amazement, her green eyes sparkling, filling with some kind of admiration.

"She's going to love it, Nathan."

* * *

When Haley arrived at the café, Rachel and Peyton were already talking at a table near the window. Peyton brightened when she saw Haley walk up to the table. She immediately got up to hug Haley and greet her, as did Rachel.

"Hey, guys," she said to both of them as she sat down across from Peyton, next to Rachel. "Where is Anna today?" she asked curiously, making conversation.

"She's having a day with her daddy," Peyton explained. Rachel and Haley both nodded.

"So what did you want to say to us?" Rachel asked finally.

Peyton bit her lip. "I want to wait until Brooke gets here. I want to tell you all together," she said before taking a sip of lemon water.

Rachel rolled her eyes slightly. Still, she played along, turning to interrogate Haley. "So, what's up with you, Hales?" she asked curiously. She wondered if Nathan had said anything about Lindsey, but she suddenly realized that Haley might not say anything with Peyton right there.

Haley shrugged. "Not much," she lied. It was a big, fat lie, too. Things with her life were certainly _far _from calm.

Peyton tapped her fingernails on the plastic glass when she saw Brooke walk into the café. She began to get excited when the blonde finally spotted them and started walking over.

"You sounded so excited on the phone!" Brooke exclaimed when she spotted Peyton and sat down. She finally took notice of Haley and Rachel. "Hey, guys," she greeted. "So what did you want to tell us all?"

Peyton smiled, taking a deep breath. "I'm really excited to tell you guys, and I hope you'll all be happy for me," she said. She sighed, looking down, under the table at something before she spoke again. "I just wanted you, girls, to be the first to know that Jake proposed to me, and we're getting married," she said.

Brooke, Haley, and Rachel all smiled at Peyton, who proudly showed them the ring. Brooke's mouth dropped open when she saw it.

"Oh, my God. P. Sawyer! This ring is _gorgeous_! It's not big, but man, is it beautiful," she commented. She took it off of Peyton's finger, examining it meticulously. "This ring is beautiful. It's a platinum precise band with a one and a half-carat emerald-cut stone, with a pave setting. It's Internally Flawless, and colourless. The clarity is amazing. This is a beautiful ring, Peyton, and you'd _better _take good care of it, or you will be hearing from me," Brooke warned as she handed the ring back to Peyton, who put it back on her own hand quickly.

"Thanks, Brooke," Peyton said sharply. Brooke shrugged.

Haley, on the other hand, was a little bit unbelieving of the news. "I can't believe it; you're getting married," she said.

Peyton nodded. "And Haley? I wanted to ask you if you would be my maid of honour."

Brooke averted her eyes from girl to girl, excitedly. She was waiting for Haley to say yes. Rachel also watched anxiously.

Haley simply nodded. Peyton got up to hug her.

"Thank you so much. This is going to be great," Peyton said to her.

Haley nodded numbly, wondering what she got herself into. Sure, it would be fun, but was she really ready to deal with all the stress?

* * *

Rachel walked into the bar, spotting, Lucas, and Nathan already there. She had left-right from her meeting with Peyton, Brooke, and Haley and come right to the bar.

Rachel went to greet Lucas and Nathan.

"Did you know that Peyton got engaged?" she asked, taking a spot in between Nathan and Lucas.

Rachel looked at Nathan and Lucas expectantly, looking for a surprised look or shock from one of them.

"Jake told us yesterday," Lucas answered nonchalantly.

She finally looked over at Nathan. "Nathan wanted to tell us something. Nathan?"

He sighed. He was sort of dreading announcing this, worried about the response his idea would get. Finally, he just got out with it.

"I was thinking of proposing to Haley," he said.

There was silence, the only noise being the irrelevant one coming from the chatter of the people around them.

Finally, Lucas spoke. "Really? That's great," he said noncommittally.

"I'm happy for you, Nathan. Do you think she'll say yes?" Rachel asked.

Nathan thought about it for a minute. "I hope so…" he trailed off.

"Wow…everybody is making me look bad. I mean, Jake's proposing to Peyton and…Nathan is proposing to Haley…" Lucas began.

Nathan looked down at his lap. Rachel didn't look over at him but touched the drink before her.

"What ring did you get?" Rachel asked quietly.

Nathan looked up at her. "What?" he inquired, a little shocked by her very unenthusiastic reaction.

"What ring did you get?" she repeated.

He furrowed his eyebrows at her, wondering where this was going. He fished a box out of his jacket pocket, handing it to Nathan.

Rachel took it very gingerly. She looked at the red velvet box and let out a sigh of relief—this was a good start. Holding her breath, she opened up the box, spotting the beautiful antique ring she was hoping to see. It was more gorgeous than she remembered, with a flawless 18-carat white gold band and a beautiful marquise-cut diamond fixed in the center of the ring, with a pave setting. Rachel took this all in as she stared at it. She smiled.

"I think she'll like it, and I can't believe her not saying yes," she responded softly, closing the box and handing it back to Nathan.

Nathan smiled, relieved. Rachel smiled at him reassuringly, hoping to ease Nathan's nerves.

* * *

Haley sighed, hoping to calm down and finally fall asleep. Right after her meeting with the girls, she had come home, taken a shower, and tried to go to sleep.

Yes, she was very happy for Peyton and Jake.

Yes, she was under an unbelievable amount of stress right now.

Yes, she was undeniably in love with Nathan.

Yes, she was starting to believe all the things Lindsey was whispering in her ear.

For so long, she had said to herself softly that he was too good to be true. Of course, this statement was swept under the rug. She never thought much of it until Lindsey brought it to her attention. She never really believed that he _was _too good to be true.

Or did she? Maybe she had been stuck inside a fool's paradise for so long that she didn't realize it was all too good to be true.

But why? What was it that he could've been hiding? What was so horrible that it compromised the integrity of their entire relationship?

Haley didn't want to push. She already knew that ignorance was bliss. What if Lindsey knew a lot more about Nathan than she was letting on?

Haley sighed dismissively, turning onto her side. She realized suddenly that Lindsey could've been making all of this up to drive Haley away; she would finally have Nathan—all alone and heartbroken—to herself. Haley wasn't about to let that happen. She wouldn't dismiss this relationship without a solid fight.

Dismiss? Was it really coming to this? She wanted things to go back to the way they were. She wanted to have that same beautiful, perfect relationship she had with Nathan in the beginning. She didn't want to give up on their relationship because she loved him, so, so much.

* * *

"That was your mom's ring, wasn't it?" Rachel asked as Nathan pulled up to her house.

Nathan looked over at her as he put the car into park.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly.

Rachel smiled at him, unsurprised by his naïveté. "I remember you telling me about it one day, a really long time ago, when you first inherited the ring…after she died," she explained, melancholy lacing her voice. "You read me the letter that she wrote with it, remember? That she wanted you to give it to that one girl who you wanted to love the rest of your life?" she reminded him.

He nodded, biting his lip and holding back tears as he thought of his mom.

"I know that your mom would've loved Haley, Nathan. You shouldn't be nervous. I'm sure she'll say yes," she added softly.

"You never even met my mom," he said with a small laugh.

"The greatest reflection off a person is their child, and you're amazing, so I'm sure she was, too."

She looked over at her house. The light in her living room shut off, and Rachel decided that it was time to go inside. She turned back to Nathan, kissing him on the cheek.

"Haley will say yes. I know it. She's smart, and she'll see that rejecting you would be the biggest mistake she could ever make," Rachel said to him before she exited the car.

Nathan thought about this more, thinking about the ring again. This pending proposal was getting him more and more nervous by the second.

* * *

Haley sat up abruptly, startled by something in her mind. She looked over her shoulder to see Nathan lying there, fast asleep. She touched his arm absentmindedly, smiling at his peaceful state as he slept.

She got up, walking into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of water. She looked around the room, thinking about how much things had changed over a few months.

She looked at the dining room table, thinking of the first time she had been over his apartment after they started dating, about a month into their relationship.

* * *

_Both of them were sitting at the dining room table in his apartment. Neither of them had said much since they had gotten to his apartment. Nathan watched Haley as she drew swirls on the table with her finger. He touched her wandering hand, making her shiver slightly at his touch._

_"Nathan?" she asked, her voice shaky._

_He looked at her expectantly as he took her hand._

_"What are you doing?"_

_He shrugged. "I just wanted to…touch you, I guess," he explained._

_Something about that explanation made her grow a little weak. She kissed him softly on the lips and he continued to play with her hands._

* * *

Haley walked over to the table, touching the spot where she was sitting. She looked over to the doorway. She recalled with a certain fondness another time that felt very significant in their relationship, which occurred around three months in.

* * *

_Haley felt a little saddened as her lips finally had to part from his. She glanced over at the clock, which reminded her it was time to go._

_"I hate that I have to leave so soon," she said as she glanced at the clock for the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes._

_He nuzzled into her neck and she laughed. "Stop it!" she scolded through her laughter._

_"I don't like you leaving any more than you do," he told her. He looked at her lovingly for a few seconds. "Will you come back later?" he pleaded._

_Looking at him, she couldn't even fathom saying no. "Of course, I will. I'll come back after my classes are out," she promised him._

_He smiled at her. "I love you," he blurted out._

_Haley looked at him in confusion, registering what he said._

_A red colour set into his cheeks. "Haley, I'm sorry if—"_

_"I love you, too."_

_He looked at her, surprised. Haley just smiled at him before kissing him once more and leaving the apartment._

* * *

Haley smiled as she traced her fingers absentmindedly through the little indentations and notches in the doorpost. There were so many good memories here.

Good memories. Their relationship was beautiful. Why, again, was she falling for what Lindsey was whispering in her ear?

She abandoned the glass of water on the counter, going back into the bedroom, curing up against Nathan.

* * *

"Haley is unsuspecting, right?" Rachel asked as she placed the bouquet of tuberoses on the counter in the kitchen.

"She shouldn't be. She said she was meeting up with Peyton," Nathan replied.

Rachel nodded as she moved the tuberoses to get a better view of them. "How exactly are you planning on asking her?" she inquired.

"I don't know yet. I want to make it a big romantic gesture that she'll really appreciate, but I don't want it to be too cheesy. How did Dean propose to you?" he asked, hoping for some inspiration.

"Don't do what Dean did for me. It was a nice attempt, but he almost killed me."

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows. "Killed you? How?"

"He thought it would be really cute and unique if he put the ring in our dessert that night. I almost choked on it and there was chocolate cheesecake stuck in the little tiny crevices of the ring for like, a week," she explained.

He nodded. "Well, I'd like for her to survive the proposal, so I'm pretty sure I won't be doing something like that," he commented.

She nodded. "That's probably a good choice," she replied.

A minute later, Brooke walked through the front door of the apartment. She tossed her keys down on the counter.

"So have you decided how you're going to pop the question?" Brooke asked suddenly.

"How do you know this Brooke? and it's nice to see you, too." Nathan answered.

"Rachel blabbed it to me last night when we caught up for drinks. She was really drunk," Brooke quipped.

"He hasn't decided. I gave him my proposal horror story and he doesn't have any good ideas," Rachel replied.

Brooke nodded, looking around the apartment. "Where did the future Mrs. Scott go?" she asked, teasing Nathan.

"She went to hang out with Peyton and Anna," Nathan answered, trying to conceal the blush Brooke brought to his cheeks. Rachel let out a muffled laugh at his discomfort.

"No, she didn't. I saw Peyton with Anna in an hour ago. They weren't with Haley," Brooke explained, ignoring Rachel.

"What?"

"Why would she lie about where she was going?" Rachel asked.

* * *

Haley took a sip of water as she let out an anxious sigh. She had only been waiting for five minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.

She finally heard a bag being tossed onto the booth across from her. She looked up and saw the dirty blonde whose words had been echoing in her mind for days.

"I have to admit, I was kind of surprised to hear from you, Haley," she said, the words rolling off her perfect pink cupid-bow lips easily.

Haley tried not to let her guard down too much around Lindsey. "What you said made me pretty concerned."

"You still remember?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

Haley felt the slightest bit of colour rise to her cheeks. "Drunk or not, things you said gave me thoughts I won't forget," she insisted.

Lindsey became a little tense. "Like what?" she inquired cautiously.

Haley shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide how genuinely scared she was for the status of her relationship right then. "I just think it's really weird. One minute you tell him you love him, and the next you're trying to convince me of how unhealthy this relationship must be," she said.

Lindsey sighed. "Haley, I was dating Nathan for a lot longer than you have. I think I know him a little better," she said.

"But you were never serious!" Haley interjected.

"It was…more serious than I let on. I thought I told you. He wanted to propose to me," she said, a tone in her voice conveying that she was truly saddened he never got the chance to.

"You did. But you said you weren't serious enough in this relationship."

Lindsey was silent. Haley sat, waiting for a response.

Finally, her perfect lips parted to give a reply. "That may have been a lie."

Haley knitted her eyebrows together. "What do you mean?" she inquired suspiciously.

Lindsey bit her lip, looking down at her hands. "I may not have told you about how serious I was about Nathan. I didn't see us as just a casual thing like I told you and your friends."

Haley waited for more. She wished she hadn't heard it when Lindsey finally got out with it.

"I may have been trying to get pregnant."

* * *

Haley walked in, feeling very dizzy from her meeting with Lindsey. She made a beeline for the kitchen and immediately poured a glass of water for herself, taking it quickly. She felt very nauseous all of a sudden.

She hadn't even noticed whether or not anyone else was home. She didn't even take notice of whether or not Nathan's keys were on the counter. She just gulped another glass of water.

A moment after she set the glass down in the sink, Nathan walked out into the room. Haley looked up and saw him.

"Hey. Are you okay? You look kind of out of it, Hales," he said, touching her hand.

She took her hand back quickly. "I'm fine," she answered shortly.

He looked at her for a moment before letting go of it. He shook his head, shaking it off. "So do you want to do something tonight?" he asked sweetly.

She sighed, thinking about it. Finally, she came up with a verdict. "I would love to."

He let out a small sigh of relief. He was counting on her to say yes.

* * *

"Tonight was great," Nathan said as they walked back into their apartment.

She nodded in agreement. _It was almost too great._

Before she could get too caught up in her thoughts, Haley's phone rang. She dug into her bag, fishing out her phone and she saw a new message from Clay.

Her stomach did a somersault as she thought about what he probably wanted.

Oh, God, she was about to be sick again.

"Nathan?" she said, calling his attention.

"Yes?"

"Um…I'll be right back. Can you just give me a minute?" she asked.

He nodded with a small smile before pecking her on the lips. "Sure. But I'll be waiting," he told her playfully.

She let a small smile lay on her lips before she walked into their bedroom. She made her way into the closet, turning on the light. She dialled a number quickly on her phone.

"Listen to me. You need to back off. The answer is no. I'm not changing my mind, and you can't convince me otherwise. Stop calling, stop texting, and stop trying to be in my life anymore. I want nothing to do with you," she said fiercely into the phone before hanging up. She had had it with him. This secret was taking such a toll on her mentally.

* * *

After taking off her heels and letting her hair down, Haley walked back into the room, where Nathan was waiting for her. She took notice of the flowers sitting on the table.

"Were those always there?" she asked wearily.

"Yeah. You didn't notice them?" he inquired.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. My head has just been bothering me lately." _Understatement of the century._

He nodded before taking her hands. "Haley, we really need to talk about something."

There was a small knot of nervousness growing in her stomach. She felt sick to her stomach once more. "What is it?" she asked nervously.

He pushed some hair back behind her ear very carefully. "We need to talk about us. I had been thinking about asking you, but these last few weeks have really…solidified my ideas."

She raised an eyebrow in question. "Solidified?"

He nodded. "I just wanted to know…what are you doing for the rest of your life?" he asked.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows.

Before she knew it, her boyfriend was down on one knee before her. Her mouth just hung open. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"So I wanted to know…will you marry me?" he asked.

A flood of emotions came to Haley in that very instant. Did she say yes? Did she say no? Could she really say yes with this secret weighing heavy on her conscience? If she said no, would this be the end of things as they knew them?

And then, something else came. That same sickening, menacing feeling twisting in her stomach. She ran to the bathroom, before spilling out her guts.

The proverbial butterflies in the stomach had turned into birds, flapping their wings until the pressure turned out to be too much.

* * *

_First off, I must apologize for this uneventful chapter, but there you have it. Peyton's getting married! so that should be eventful. How do you guys feel about the impending Naley proposal? will Haley say yes?._

_Okay, I need to clarify something very quickly before I proceed in responding to reviewers. When Lindsey says that she was trying to get pregnant, she was doing this WITHOUT Nathan's knowledge and WITHOUT his consent. She was doing it sneakily. Like, have you ever heard of women who basically trick their boyfriends into getting them pregnant by sabotaging their own means of birth control, like not taking birth control pills and blah blah blah? Yeah, that was what Lindsey was basically doing. Moving on._

_You all hate me. I know it. This hate will only be further fueled when I tell you (right now) that I think I might need like a week to compose myself because I have a lot to do. I have to write for my other project, plan my boyfriend's surprise party, as well as, help with my sister's wedding and having to deal with a bunch of work stuff this already seems like a lot. So next time I update probably won't be for about a week or so. I do apologize in advance!_

**_thibbs65: _**_Thank you! I agree Haley does need to lay off the alcohol and go be a mother to Jamie. Haley never told Clay about her pregnancy because she was afraid lol. I do agree I know it's frustrating that they aren't communicating about the big issues in their relationship and just overlooking it, but I promise within the next couple of chapters there will be clarity on this situation and they will have a discussion about their relationship. Like you mentioned, if you have no trust and honesty you have nothing, and I agree wholeheartedly. Trust and honesty are the two big factor in making a relationship work longterm anyway. Rachel won't be going anywhere trust me. As far as her relationships with the girls and Nathan goes everything will be fine. For someone as smart and clever as Haley, you would think she would have precaution then allowing her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend buy her drinks especially if Lindsey has some sort of motive. As much as I would love to see Naley and Lucas bond with Jamie, it's just not the right time to introduce him into these past sequence chapters as the development of their relationships are more superior, however, we will see a ton of Jamie in the present-day chapters, check for that in about ten chapters or so. _

_**Guest:** Thank you! You might be on to something. I won't be so trusting of Lindsey her motives. I think she has some sort of agenda and is using Haley as her pawn right now considering she's in a vulnerable state, but we'll see. I would stay clear of her, but considering how many times people come between Naley they only come out stronger so we'll see!_

_**naley12:** thank you! _

_**dianehermans:** You'll just have to read to find out. _

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Until next time!_**_ ~Sidney_**


	14. Chapter 14

_"I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart." _

_― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John_

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**January 25, 2007**

"Haley? Are you going to answer or not?"

After Nathan had found her spilling out her guts, Haley had returned to the kitchen in silence. She hadn't said a word since Nathan had asked her, and that was making him very nervous.

"Nathan—"

"Wait a second. Before you solidify this decision, I want you to know that you're not obligated to say yes if you really don't want to do this," he said. He still knew it would kill him if she said no.

"Nathan," she began again, "you are an amazing person, and I feel so lucky to have you in my life, especially as someone I can call mine." She reached out to take his hand. "And I want you to know that I love you. A lot. Too much, even."

He retracted his hand from her grip. "You don't have to sugar-coat it or feel obligated to stay, Haley. I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be sorry!" She took a moment to think of her next sentence. "I just don't feel ready for this again. Not yet. And I love you, and I want to get there someday, but not now. I don't want you to think that I love you any less, though," she assured him.

She examined him, but his face remained unwavering. She sighed and got up. "I think we just need some space, away from each other. I think I'll go stay with Brooke for a couple of days."

* * *

"I can't believe it. She said no," Lucas said quietly as he was hanging around Peyton's house.

Peyton, who was cutting up vegetables at the time, preparing for dinner with her fiancé, looked up, stabbing the big knife into the soft wooden cutting board. "She said what?" she asked, some anger present in her voice. "Where is she so I can go kill her?"

Lucas looked at Peyton in surprise. She always knew the girl was a wild card but didn't realize how volatile she could be. "I thought you and Haley were friends."

"Yeah, but Nathan is basically my brother with blue eyes that stands at six-one. Giant brother trumps friend every time," she explained.

Lucas laughed and shrugged. "I guess I see your point."

"Bros before hoes," she said before continuing to cut the vegetables.

"I would also agree with that, but Haley isn't really a—"

"Could you stop being so politically correct, Luke, and just smile and nod?" she snapped comically before going back to chopping.

He put his hands up in surrender. "Don't shoot me, Peyton," he told her.

"I'm sorry, but I get very defensive over family. You know I'd be the same way over you, or Brooke even Rachel," she reminded him.

"Jake?" he asked, inquiring about her husband.

She shrugged. "He never gets involved in trivial stuff like this, but he can fend for himself. He's smart. I trust him to be a grown-up about these things," she said.

"So you're more protective over us than your fiancé?" he asked.

She stopped cutting to look up and throw him a very sarcastic look. "No, Smart-Ass. I'm just saying, Jake, is so far removed from this kind of drama that it doesn't really matter. There's no secret child of his, no shady ex-girlfriends, nothing of that sort," she said.

"I'm pretty sure you could take them if you needed to. The ex-girlfriends, I mean."

"Oh, if any of the ex-girlfriends got in our business like Lindsey is doing with Nathan…someone would need to bail me out of jail," she warned.

Lucas laughed. "I'll take note and make sure not to cross you."

"That's probably a good idea, Broody."

* * *

"Brooke, I just feel really awful. What if this is the wrong thing to do?" Haley inquired as she and Brooke sat down for some tea and coffee.

Brooke sighed as she put some sugar in her teacup. "Oh, Haley…if you're so concerned, you should talk to Nathan about this. I know he knows you care about him very much. If you really aren't ready to be engaged, you did the right thing by saying no. Just because you said no doesn't mean you have to leave," Brooke reminded Haley.

Haley bit her lip in nervousness, anyway. She took a sip of her coffee, and then put it down. "It just bothers me a little bit. I need to tell you something, Brooke, and you need to promise not to tell anyone. Really, all roads lead back to Nathan. Don't tell Rachel; she'll tell Nathan. Peyton will tell Jake, who'll tell Nathan. You can either tell Nathan or tell Lucas, who will tell Nathan, anyway," she said.

"I swear, Hales. I won't tell anyone," she promised.

Haley sighed. "I met up with Lindsey the other day before Nathan asked me, and she told me something really important. It's making me feel really sick, not telling anyone about it." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Lindsey told me that before Nathan engaged to her and they broke it off, she was trying to get pregnant."

Brooke began choking on the tea in her mouth. "Pregnant? Lindsey? I'm interested to see how their offspring would turn out…it's satanic spawn," she said. "You know, mixed with Nathan's great genes," she added when Haley shot her a poisonous look.

"I don't think Nathan ever knew, but the very thought that his last potential-fiancé was doing something like that…added onto how horrible my last engagement went…it's all too much for me to deal with right now," Haley explained.

Brooke nodded in agreement, turning to her tea. "All of that, in addition to the fact that as Peyton's maid-of-honour, you have the pleasure of planning her wedding. You don't need a second one," Brooke reminded her.

Haley pressed her palm against her forehead. "Shit," she cursed. "I totally forgot about that." She sighed. "I love Peyton, but how much of a bridezilla do you think she'll end up being?"

Brooke shrugged. "I think it depends on what you're planning out. On certain things, I think she'll be worse than others. The photography, she'll be really picky and bitchy about. On stuff like the dress or music or whatever? I doubt she'll care. The bride-to-be might just request a string quartet at the ceremony, but other than that, I doubt she'll make a show of it all," Brooke told her.

Haley nodded, hoping this would be a lot less painful than she anticipated it to be.

Brooke turned back to Haley. "I know you said no, but did he show you the ring?"

Haley shook her head. "He just asked me. I don't even know if he had a ring."

Brooke put her chin on her hands, sighing, though she knew that he did have a ring. "I'm sure it would've been beautiful," she said absentmindedly.

"I'm sure," Haley said with melancholia filling her voice.

* * *

It had been such a long time since Nathan had gone to a bar to forget. He had gone for leisure, for a beer, to meet someone there.

Never had he felt so hurt before that he felt no other means of coping than to just drink up and forget.

He supposed, at times like this, it wasn't completely crazy to wish you had never been in love in the first place. Those were dangerous thoughts. The fear they instilled in him was horrible. But they were still there in the recesses of his being.

He sighed as the alcohol began to take effect and he felt his head begin to pound like a hammer on a nail. The pain only increased as time went on.

It struck him, subconsciously, that people never really thought about what would happen if their sweetheart rejected their proposal. They were too busy thinking about the white-picket-fence, the cats and dogs, the kids in their future. Never once did it go through a hopeful person's mind that they could be given a no.

He also supposed that this was because it rarely ever happened. In all the movies and books and TV shows, the girl always said yes. There was some sappy, cheesy, romantic proposal grown women would swoon over which the person in question could never even fathom reject. When had there ever been a movie where the guy gets rejected?

Maybe one or two. And he was pretty sure those were flops.

And what was supposed to happen to the couple after she said no? Were things supposed to be forgotten and resolved, then go back to the way things were? Was that even possible? He assumed that was the reason why so many couples broke up after a proposal gone wrong; it was simply too awkward for the relationship to continue.

But he didn't want to lose Haley. Even in his inebriated state, he could tell how much he wanted to turn back time and take back that proposal.

"Hello," said a voice from behind him.

And even though he was getting very drunk, he could still remember that voice and all the horrible memories it stirred.

* * *

Haley surfed through the channels on Brooke's TV. "I'm glad you paid the cable bill this month, Brooke," she said as Brooke took out some cookies from the cupboard.

Brooke sat on the couch beside Haley as she settled on reruns of _Friends. _"Lucas was nagging me about it. He told me for being totally on time with all of my bills this month, he would pimp out my phone. He did something that lets me make free calls to China."

Haley raised her eyebrow. "Why would you need to call anyone in China?"

Brooke laughed. "Hales, who cares? It's freaking _China._ Do you know how much it would cost to be on the phone for like two seconds to someone in Seoul?" she asked.

Haley examined Brooke. "I'm impressed that you've even heard of Seoul, but that's not in China," she said.

Brooke shrugged. "It's still cool. When I'm bored, I type in random Chinese numbers. People there get a lot more confused when I say random words in Spanish over the phone. What do they speak there again?"

"Cantonese or Mandarin," she answered.

Brooke nodded. "I'm sorry about what happened with you and Nathan, but I'm honestly kind of glad that you're here," she confessed.

"Don't you have Lucas?" Haley asked as she picked up a cookie.

Brooke smiled bittersweetly. "It's not the same as having you around. You're like a sister to me," she confessed.

Haley smiled before the two girls gave each other a hug and turned back to the show they were watching.

* * *

"What do you want?" he asked coldly to the green-eyed snake before him.

The blonde crept slowly to her ex, who was obviously feeling very vulnerable. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you," he responded with a slur. Even though his eyes were glazed over and cloudy from the alcohol, a clear sadness was depicted in his blue irises, the windows to his soul.

She sat down next to him anyway. "Are you okay? Is there something wrong between you and Haley?" she asked, portraying sincerity.

He was very reluctant to believe it, however. "You don't really care. You don't have to pretend. You just want things to end badly between the both of us," he said venomously.

She sighed. "Just remember that I'm still here, Nathan. When things don't work out—"

"_If _things don't work out," he amended.

"_When_ things don't work out," she continued, ignoring his interjection, "you need to know that I'll be here, just like I've been waiting to do for you. Just remember that, Nate. I've known you. I feel like I've known you for a long time. You've barely known Haley a year. You've been dating for like eight months. How is she supposed to love you more than I will?"

"Because she knows how to love more than you do. You just know how to be loved."

* * *

Haley looked out of the window and into the rain. The heavy, melancholia and gray which coloured the outdoors expressed her mood perfectly.

She sighed and turned back to the room. Things were the same as how she left them, but things were still very different.

There was no going back now.

She gulped as she looked around their apartment, some bittersweet memories returning to her quickly.

She looked around one final time, the only noise being the pounding of blood in her ears and the rain tapping loudly outside. She got a good look before she turned back into the bedroom.

* * *

Brooke examined her baby pink nails as she waited for other girls to arrive. Peyton was meeting with the consultant in the changing room, so as of now, she was by herself. Rachel and Haley should've been arriving sometime soon.

While she was sitting in the waiting room, she looked around, thinking of her beloved Haley and Nathan—Naley, as she liked to call them. She looked around at the several dresses, thinking of the one Haley might wear.

She was immediately drawn to this beautiful ivory-coloured mermaid gown. It was covered in simple lace. Brooke thought it would look gorgeous on Haley, especially with the heavenly silky champagne cinching her waist and breaking up her long frame. Brooke could see Haley walking down the aisle now.

Brooke frowned as she stepped away, pulling her fingers from the celestial fabric. It was a shame that nobody would ever see Haley looking that beautiful.

Brooke knew Haley, almost all too well. She knew that if Haley wasn't ready to get married now, she likely never would be. She had known Haley for such a long time. She was always one to play it safe. She didn't feel safe anymore.

And it was all because of that ass, Clay.

Brooke scowled as she sat down on the couch. She wondered if Clay ever realized just how selfish he was being right now. Not only had he _destroyed _Haley's heart, _impregnated _her, but now he had the _audacity _to come back and ask for such a _selfish_, _rude_ and _utterly disgusting _favour from her. It made Brooke's skin crawl. If she got the opportunity to see him now…she didn't know what she'd do, and that thought honestly scared her. In the end, she was one of Haley's best friend, and nobody's feelings mattered any more than hers in this equation; her heart was the most valuable thing on the line.

At that moment, Brooke's reverie was broken, because in sauntered Rachel, and Haley.

"Where is the bride-to-be?" Rachel asked.

"She's getting dressed now," Brooke answered flatly. Uncharacteristically, her voice was devoid of any indicator of her normally bubbly persona. This was picked up by Haley and Rachel, who didn't bring it up.

Across the waiting room, they could both hear a door open. Out walked Peyton, who seemed to be blushing slightly. The girls looked at her expectantly. She was wearing a pure white dress with a sweetheart neckline, a purple ribbon with organza flowers on it, and the skirt was composed of tulle ruffles. It was pretty but…not really Peyton.

"Do you like it?" Haley asked her as Peyton turned and looked in the mirror.

Peyton gave a half-smile as she thought it over. "It's really pretty but…it's not amazing. What do you think?"

"It doesn't look like you really love this dress," Rachel said.

"Can you really see yourself getting married in this?" Haley asked.

Peyton thought of it for a minute as she bit her lip. Finally, she shook her head. "No."

They waited for another ten minutes as Peyton selected and got dressed in the next gown. This one was an all-lace cap-sleeved, A-line dress. Brooke frowned as soon as she saw it on Peyton.

"This one makes you look frumpy and does _not _flatter," she commented immediately.

Rachel made a face at this one, while Haley bit her lip. Peyton had to agree with the general consensus.

It wasn't until Peyton had left to try on the third dress that Haley had finally opened up.

"I need to tell you guys something," Haley began softly.

"Are you pregnant?" Rachel asked, hoping to lighten the mood, though she knew that all three of them knew what Haley was about to say. Suddenly, pregnancy didn't seem so undesirable.

Haley gave a small laugh before shaking her head "no." She took a deep breath before she continued. "Nathan proposed to me," she announced.

Brooke and Rachel feigned surprise as best as they could. (Haley had asked Brooke to act surprised, so none of the girls would feel as though she were keeping things from them).

"And I said no," she added.

Rachel's heart dropped. It was one thing to hear about it from Lucas; it was an entirely different sensation hearing it from Haley, herself. "Why?"

Haley sighed. "I wish I could say why, but…all I know is it doesn't feel right. And I don't want to drag him into a one-sided marriage."

"But you guys are staying together, right?" Brooke inquired optimistically.

Haley sighed once more. "I hope so. I moved back today, but…I haven't seen him since he asked me and I turned him down," she explained.

Brooke opened her mouth to make a comment, but at that moment, Peyton stepped out in the next dress. It was a strapless pearl-colored dress. It was a moderately full skirt. The neckline was embellished with beautiful silver detailing. The same detailing was on the hem of the dress, following even through the train. The whole look was pulled together by a matching silver sash, which sat right on Peyton's waist.

"This one is amazing, P. Sawyer," she commented.

Peyton smiled. She turned and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She seemed to like it. Rachel also thought that it was pretty. Haley, however, was indifferent.

"Hales?" Peyton called out, searching for something from the stoic blonde behind her. "What do you make of this one?"

Haley shrugged. "It's pretty but…it looks off on you. Like, it's nothing I ever pictured you wearing on your wedding day. And you don't like it. You're not driven to tears," she said.

"Hales!" Rachel hissed.

"No, no. She's right. But what if I never find the right one?"

"Peyton, Jake isn't going to care what you're wearing. You could wear a potato sack for a dress and he'd still find you gorgeous in that hideous piece of burlap," Brooke informed her, shuddering at the thought of the brown, drab fabric.

Peyton let a small, enthusiastic smile cross her face. "Really?" she inquired sweetly.

Brooke nodded, pacifying her.

"I'm going to try on another dress, but I do like this one," Peyton told them.

They all nodded, watching as Peyton went off.

Rachel finally turned to Haley. "Please don't shut Nathan out. I know it's hard to deal with something like this when you have so much going on, but he wants nothing more than to help you, Haley," she reminded her.

Brooke piped up. "Rachel is right, Haley. Nathan is a wonderful listener. He's not going to judge you because of what that asshole suggested you do. He'll defend you if Clay ever comes back."

Haley sighed. "It's not just that. It's just…I'm scared. I'm scared of marriage. I've finally gotten over my fear with love, but marriage? It's…harrowing to just think about. It always ends so badly," she explained.

"But it won't end badly, because Nathan actually loves—"

She stopped mid-sentence upon seeing Peyton walkout.

This next dress was it. It was _the one._

It was an open-back, sleeveless white dress with lace and a mermaid silhouette. This one was quite flattering. Brooke smiled as soon as she saw this one.

Haley bit her lip to keep from squealing as she saw Peyton. She forgot about what they were just talking about and focused all her envy on how beautiful Peyton looked.

"This is it, Peyton. I swear," Haley announced.

Peyton turned around and looked into the mirror. Even without the makeup and the hair and everything, she had to admit, the scene was like something out of fairytale little girls dreamed about as soon as they could grasp the concept of a princess. Her consultant quickly went to go get an artificial bouquet of roses and a veil for Peyton to try on.

"Now, that's a dress."

* * *

Haley walked in the door, breathing in the scent of pine needles.

Haley slipped into something more comfortable and made some tea with honey. She sat on the couch, watching TV absentmindedly until she heard the door open.

Her tea was practically drained, so it didn't matter when she placed the cup haphazardly on her lap. She turned to look at Nathan.

"You're back," he said, not containing his smile.

She gave a slight smile and nodded. "I'm back," she repeated.

"So…does this mean…?" he began, not wanting to insinuate too much, for fear of making her run again.

"I want to make things work. But I'm not entirely sure I'll ever be ready to be that serious, Nathan," she said gently.

No matter how softly, how quietly, how sweetly she said it, it would always break his heart into a thousand pieces. "So you never see anything more than us just being boyfriend and girlfriend?" he inquired.

She sighed. "Nathan…I…I don't know. I just have so much going on right now with the wedding and Lindsey and—"

"What about her?"

Haley bit her lip. Nathan caught onto her worry and sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her small frame and hoping to comfort her. "Haley, has she talked to you recently?"

She didn't know how to respond. _Yes, and she wanted to carry your adorable, blue-eyed babies. _No, perhaps _Yes, and I'm pretty sure she'd like it very much if I dropped dead so she can claim you as hers, and maybe this time, she'll actually succeed in deceiving you and conceiving your adorable, blue-eyed babies._

_Ugh, Haley! What is with you and these Nathan-Lindsey babies? It's almost like you want it to happen._

"Haley?" Nathan inquired, seeing that there was something clearly very off about her.

"I can't lie, she has, and she's told me a lot about your relationship, and it makes me uncomfortable. I know about you getting very close to proposing, and that, on top of my last failed engagement, and just my pragmatic, pessimistic view on love all equates to me not being ready to do this," Haley explained.

Nathan laughed, finding her in this frazzled state to be adorable. "Can you please just come here? I've missed you. And you know what? If that's all you ever want to be, I'm fine with it. I'll take as much of you as I can get. I can't imagine my life without Haley anymore," he insisted.

Haley smiled before kissing him on the lips.

* * *

Brooke pulled out a purple gel pen as she began to jot down notes in Haley's wedding planning book. The golden blonde in question was taking the day off from being the maid-of-honour to play not-housewife (or as Brooke liked to describe it, pacify her boyfriend for a day so the subject of marriage wouldn't come up again. That usually involved a lot of sweet talks, maybe some dirty talk, and maybe even sex. Brooke figured that Nathan would probably just take the day with Haley and be pleased. He was so sweet), which meant that Brooke was filling in.

She sat across from the bride, groom, and their daughter, while her own boyfriend was playing something on his phone. Brooke kicked him in order to get him to put away the phone.

"So, first thing's first; when have you decided you want to get married?" Brooke asked, readying her pen over the silky, creamy pages in the book.

Jake and Peyton exchanged a glance before Peyton answered. "We really want to get married on the twenty-fifth of May," she answered.

Brooke nodded. "May twenty-fifth. That's a nice summer—"

"It's the twenty-fifth of May, and it's still spring," Peyton interrupted tersely.

Brooke had honestly never seen her friend get so worked up over a date, so she just nodded, continuing. "Okay, then. Um…have you had any thought as to where you'd like to have the wedding?"

"We're still not really sure. What do you think, Brooke?" she asked sweetly.

Brooke raised an eyebrow, as did Lucas, whose attention was now caught by the tension between the two women. "I don't know?" she said cautiously. "Isn't that something you and Jake should discuss?" she inquired.

Jake took Peyton's hand. "I told her that it doesn't really matter to me. I'm fine with whatever she wants."

It took everything in Brooke's being not to swoon at Jake's sweetness (despite Peyton's bitchiness). "Luke, you should really take notes from Jake and Nathan," she teased.

Lucas was about to formulate a smart-ass reply, but his girlfriend cut him off. "Okay, so we'll sidebar the venue for now. The next thing she wrote down…" Brooke's eyes scanned down the big checklist Haley gave her. "How many people are you thinking of inviting?" she asked.

"We wanted to keep it pretty small. Friends and family, right?" Peyton asked, looking over at Jake, who nodded in agreement.

"You guys are too cute," Brooke commented. Lucas rolled his eyes slightly. Luckily for him, Peyton and Brooke never noticed.

* * *

Haley took a calm sip of coffee and put it down as soon as she saw Nathan walk up to her.

"Do you want to have breakfast together?"

Haley nodded with a small smile crossing her face. "Sure."

Several minutes later, Haley cleared her throat as she watched Nathan prepare them both breakfast. "We need to talk about what you asked me before I left," she announced.

He sighed. "Haley, we don't have to talk about it at all—"

"No, we do. I need you to understand that I'm not saying no because of you. I feel like you still don't get it. None of this has to do with you. It's all because of me, okay? I can't deal with being married on top of Lindsey and Clay—"

"What exactly about Clay? You said it was your last engagement, but—"

"You're not convinced," she filled in for him. He just nodded. "I know. That's because it's not the truth."

He looked at her, puzzled.

"It's not the whole truth, anyway. I mean, our engagement does bother me, but he's been back recently…" Haley began, trailing off.

Nathan looked at Haley expectantly. Hoping she'd finish her sentence. "What do you mean by 'he's been back recently?" he asked anxiously.

Haley bit her lip. "I may or may not have seen him recently…about our son," she said.

"Is that all? He's been asking you about him?"

"Well…" she began, "there's more. He kind of…um…"

Nathan stared at her as Haley attempted to choke out the rest of it.

"He might've…asked me…um…" She looked up at Nathan's pleading, curious eyes. She sighed turning away from him. "He asked me if I would have a baby with him."

Silence. It was dead silence, except for the sound of eggs sizzling in the frying pan.

Finally, he spoke. "So, let me get this straight: your ex-fiancé, who you found cheating on you, came into _this _apartment—_our _apartment—and asked you to have a child with him?" he questioned evenly, but Haley could tell that his blood was boiling.

"Basically," she answered meekly. She observed him, trying to decide on how angry he was. "Nathan, don't do something you're going to regret."

"But Hales—"

"Nathan," she interrupted in a warning tone, "don't you dare confront him about this. I'm dealing with it."

"Then why are you so calm? Haley, this is a really big deal. He's arrogant and an ass and…are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I mean, it fazed me, but once I got over the initial shock and told him off, it didn't really bother me. Except for when he continues to call me."

_Haley!_

"He's still bothering you?" he demanded.

"Nathan—"

"No, Haley. This is serious. He's harassing you, and you're basically letting him get away with it. Why won't you do something or at least let me do something?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "Like that's a better idea. I let you do something and then I'll be charged for solicitation of murder," she said.

"You can at least go to the police," he suggested.

"And tell them what?" she demanded. "I don't think he's actually breaking any laws yet," she reminded him.

"Obscene phone calls are a misdemeanour, I think. You could at least get a restraining order," he suggested.

She looked up at him somewhat sadly. "Do you really think that if he's that determined to have a baby, a piece of paper is really going to keep him away?"

The thought of Haley having another baby with Clay made him sick. "You're not doing it, right?"

Haley stared at him with her mouth agape. "Now it's my turn to ask you: are you out of your freaking mind? Why in the world would I want to have a baby with him?"

He shrugged meekly, looking down and away from her. "I don't know…I just thought…maybe you have baby fever or something."

"So I would ask you if you wanted to have a baby, not him," she replied.

He looked up at her, really happy with her answer. Soon, another thought crossed his mind. "Wait, you don't want a child right now, do you?"

She looked at him for a moment. "Yeah, I want kids. Like fifty. Right this second. I think maybe I should go rob an orphanage or something now," she answered sarcastically.

"I'd appreciate less of the sarcasm," he responded as he finished cooking their breakfast.

"I'm sorry, but it's just a Haley-trait. I can't shake it. It's like second nature," she retorted with a smile.

* * *

"I don't know about you, but I am very worried about Haley and Nathan," Brooke said absentmindedly as she watched Peyton shuffle through racks of bridesmaid dresses. Brooke thought they ranged from atrocious to hideous to downright repulsive.

Peyton nodded. "I am, too. And poor Nathan. I know Hales is going through a lot but she's pushing away the one person who would do anything in the world for her. She needs him. He needs her," she said.

"Poor Haley! I know Nathan is going through a lot, but God is Haley going through hell and back. She's getting harassed by her ex-boyfriend and her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and now she has to plan your wedding."

Peyton looked back at Brooke, her eyebrow raised.

"Bless your heart, Peyton, but I already want to kill you and I've been filling in for Haley for like two hours. She has to deal with you for another six months," she explained.

Peyton accepted this. "I'm just worried that she's going to push him away to the point of no return. He's a golden retriever, but his loyalty will only go so far. And then, Haley will be even more devastated. We have to get her to realize he's the only one who will help her out of this rut," she explained.

"This is just a phase; it'll pass, eventually," Brooke agreed.

"But we have to hope it'll pass before he leaves."

Brooke felt her stomach do a bit of a somersault before she turned back to what Peyton was focusing on. "So what do you think you're going to put us in?"

Peyton sighed. "Well, the detailing on my dress is silver, so I thought that the main colours in our wedding would be silver and navy. I'll be in silver and white. I want to find Anna a cute little navy flower girl dress with a silver bow or something like that. And then, for you girls, I want you all to be in navy dresses."

Brooke smiled. "Well, this is certainly my even. What kinds of dresses do you think you'll put us in?" she asked.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I was thinking about putting you all in different dresses, but the same colour. I know how you find being in the same dress as someone else is a fashion faux pas, and I kind of hoped it would please you," she told Brooke.

The brunette nodded in approval. "I like it, Peyton. You know, I think you're learning a thing or two from me. Are you going to let us pick out our own dresses, or are you going to basically pick them out for the four of us?" she asked.

"I think I'll give you guys guidelines and then I'll just give my stamp of approval," Peyton said.

Brooke smiled. Okay, maybe Peyton wasn't such a nightmare after all.

* * *

Haley sat, watching the Leonardo DiCaprio version of _Romeo and Juliet._ She was cuddled in a blanket as she watched the iconic balcony scene.

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East…and Juliet is the sun."

Haley turned to see Nathan standing behind her. "I didn't know you quoted Shakespeare to make girls swoon," she said, trying to ignore the color rising to her cheeks.

"Who said I was trying to make you swoon?" he teased. "I'm kidding; I am."

She shook her head. "Be still, my heart," she answered sarcastically.

"Do I have to recite the whole scene for you to be impressed?" he inquired.

She paused the movie, shifting her body so she was staring at him. "If you can quote even fifteen lines of Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_, I will do whatever you want me to do."

He looked at her, deciding whether or not to take this bet. "Okay, fine." He cleared his throat before proceeding:

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid since she is envious

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.

It is my lady. O, it is my love!

O, that she knew she were!

She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?

Her eye discourses; I will answer it.

I am too bold. 'Tis not to me she speaks.

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of the cheek would shame those stars

As daylight doth a lamp; her eye in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

O, that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek."

Haley was glad she was sitting, or she may have fainted as he placed his hand on her cheek.

"Ay me."

"O, speak again, bright angel," he added for good measure.

She nodded numbly, impressed that he quoted Romeo so effortlessly. "What do you want?"

He thought about it for a moment. There were so many things he'd love to force Spencer into doing for his own amusement, but there was one thing he really wanted right then and there.

"Then move not while my prayer's effect I take."

Before she could question it, she felt his lips upon hers. It was a very chaste kiss.

"Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged," he whispered to her.

She blushed, playing along. "Then have my lips the sin that they have took," she responded.

"Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged!" She couldn't help but laugh at his dramatization. "Give me my sin again," he pleaded.

Obediently, she did as she was told. "You kiss by th' book," she said softly, quoting Juliet again.

"Would you like me to stop?" he asked, finally breaking character.

She was still before she shook her head. "Not at all."

She embraced him willingly, hearing his heartbeat. She had missed him so much and was just happy to be back. She was hoping things would finally go back to the way they were.

* * *

Haley touched the soft sheets enveloping her and her boyfriend gingerly. She looked over her shoulder at him, to find he was still sleeping sweetly. Whispers of a smile played on her lips. She pecked him on the cheek, waking him up.

"Hales? What are you doing up so early?" he asked, his voice half an octave lower and raspy due to him being only half-awake.

"Early? It's already nine," she commented, glancing briefly at the clock.

"I don't wake up until ten on the weekends," he replied.

She scoffed. "Well, excuse me for wanting to go out with my very sexy boyfriend for breakfast before noon."

"You want to go out?" he asked.

"Or stay in—it really doesn't matter. I just want to eat breakfast with you," she said.

He sighed after he glanced at the clock. "Give me fifteen minutes to take a shower and stop sleep-walking."

She smiled in victory.

* * *

Lindsey stared at the box of memories before her. Taking a deep breath, she opened it.

She let out a shaky breath as she recalled all of the memories. On the top was a sweatshirt she had kept from him. She held it close to her as some kind of calming act. She proceeded to sift through old memories.

The next thing near the top of the contents was a framed photo of the two of them, which one of their friends likely took. All of her friends would usually comment on them being such a good looking couple. While she didn't disagree, she was certain which one of them was more attractive.

Setting that aside, she went on in the box, taking out a black journal. Well, it wasn't just a journal. It also had a calendar in it. She recalled telling him several times that she was going to a friend's place when she was really heading to the OB/GYN, who would give her tips on how to increase her fertility. She wrote down all the tips, the dietary suggestions, and the things to avoid in that book, along with marking the days where she was at peak fertility.

She put it aside. She also pulled out cards and letters from him. All of them were sweet and probably completely cheesy, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

Thinking about it more, this was probably what she missed the most about him, and this was what she wanted back. She wanted back that hopeless romantic.

Unfortunately, it had been too little too late. His heart had already been claimed by someone else. She knew it was wrong, but she felt betrayed. He wanted to _marry _her. Spend the rest of his _life _with her. Now, he was ready to take such a leap of faith with someone else?

The more she thought of his new girlfriend, the more her blood boiled. She knew that this new girl had never done anything to her, except prevent her relationship with Nathan. But jealousy bubbled within her. She wanted whatever it was Nathan so lusted for in Haley.

What kind of name was that, anyway? _Haley__. _

Lindsey tugged at her dirty blonde hair, holding her head in her hands. Her head began to pound the more and more she thought of them, so happy together.

What even possessed her to say no, anyway? She had been so stupid! He was wrapped around her finger; he was hers right then and there. She had the perfect opportunity and she blew it.

Now it was all over.

Her thoughts brightened as she remembered. There would always be a special place for Lindsey in Nathan's heart. She was certain of that.

* * *

Haley poured herself a glass of water when the phone went off. When she saw who was calling, she was very mad Nathan wasn't home.

"What do you want?" she answered venomously. She knew if she didn't answer, he wouldn't stop calling.

"Hey, Haley!" he began eagerly.

"You can cut the crap, Clay. What do you want?" she repeated.

He sighed. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"About your proposal? No, thank you."

She was about to hang up before Clay cut her off. "Wait, Haley! Please don't. I'm not going to talk to you about…what I asked you before."

She didn't hang up, but she didn't speak for a moment. "I'm listening," she said finally.

"I just want to talk. And I want to apologize, too. Can we meet up somewhere?"

She crossed her arms. She wondered whether she should talk things out with him and let him apologize. Then again, she knew if she said no, he would probably harangue her to no end. It was probably better to get this over with now.

"Well, when do you want to meet?" she asked.

* * *

Haley spotted him sitting by himself. She reluctantly and cautiously made his way toward Clay, who was sitting solemnly, waiting for her. She sighed as she sat down across from him. She wasn't here to play games.

"You were really vague on the phone; what exactly did you want to talk about?"

"I kind of wanted to talk about you and me."

Haley tensed at that immediately. She wasn't really prepared or expecting to talk about this. "What about you and me?" she asked cautiously.

"How we broke up…why we broke up," he said.

"We broke up because you were cheating on me, with dozens of different women," she answered belligerently.

He sighed. "Alcoholism?"

She looked at him with surprise. "Alcoholism? Are you trying to tell me you're an alcoholic?"

He shrugged. "Not exactly. I mean, you know I had a problem with alcohol."

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, I saw a therapist and I haven't had a drink in a while. I don't know if you noticed it, but I tried not to drink when you were around," he said weakly.

"It didn't keep you from drinking altogether," she countered.

He nodded. "Yeah, I know." He ran his hands through his hair. "What am I supposed to do, Hales? I just know anything I try to tell you will be in vain, anyway. You found someone else. I can't take back the things I did to hurt you."

She was silent for a moment, her expression unchanging. "No, you can't. Out of everyone in my life, you're the person who hurt me the most, because I trusted you and I was ready to take a vow to be faithful to you forever and you couldn't even hold out for one night. Out of all the disappointments in my life, you were the biggest."

After silence between the two of them, she let out a shaky breath. "But for some reason, I'm going to accept what I think is an apology here. You've…changed. Grown-up, I think."

He nodded. "You leaving really made me think. How did you find out anyway?"

At the moment, Haley realized that Clay wasn't there when she discovered he was cheating. In fact, the last time she saw him prior to when they spoke about their son was when they went on their date in Paris. Haley had found out while he was running something along the lines of an errand.

"I found a girl in your room, wearing next to nothing. I figured that you don't hide business partners in your suite, especially half-naked. I just…threw the ring and got out of there as soon as I could. I left while I knew you'd still be in Paris because…I didn't want to see you. Especially not when I found out…about…about…" she said, beginning to stutter on her words.

"When did you take a test?" he asked quietly.

"While we were in Paris. Right after I found out, actually." She wiped away a runaway tear. "I went to the store to find out for myself. It kind of just solidified what I already knew, which was that I wanted to leave."

He looked more crestfallen than he had in the entire conversation. "You were sure?"

She nodded. "I know that usually makes most people want to stay but—"

"—you're not like most people."

She looked at him in surprise. She nodded. "Yeah. I just knew that I didn't want to be with you, even with the baby. I needed to leave, so I just took my things and was…gone," she explained quietly.

"I still don't get why you left like that. It was like you were never there. You gave me nothing to remember you by."

"Maybe I didn't want to be remembered," she snapped back, anger rising in her voice. "Why did you need to remember me, anyway? You could've turned any of those whores into your wife, so why did you choose me?" she asked bitterly.

"Because there was something special about you," he said.

"It's all a freaking ploy, Clay!" she exclaimed. "It's a ploy," she repeated. "All you're doing is trying to make me believe this bullshit reason why I'm so special. I'm not. I'm just a girl you met in college who you tolerated and your parents liked, whose parents liked you. You decided it would look great on your profile that you have an Ivy League graduate wife who comes from a wealthy family, so I was fit for the job. That's what happened. You don't have to pretend anymore. Stop pretending."

Before he could get a chance to stop her, she was halfway out the door.

* * *

This was it.

This was the moment she had been anxiously awaiting for so long. She had been doing everything in her power for this: eating all the right things, countless ovulation tests, making _him_ do the right things, and all for this.

She tore away the brown paper bag, reading the instructions carefully.

After preparing the test, she sat, nervously waiting. It was the longest three minutes ever, but it really allowed her to think.

She had been disappointed before. Several times, actually. Still, she wanted this so much. She wanted a baby. Even though she was a bit anxious about becoming a mother, she still wanted this more than anything.

He would be happy, right?

Yes, she was sure he'd be happy. He was just that kind of person. He'd be a great father; she just knew it. And this baby would be so loved.

She rubbed her stomach, willing for there to be a baby there. Maybe, just maybe she'd get lucky this time. Maybe things would finally go right.

The timer went off, and she anxiously picked up the home pregnancy test.

As she stared at it, she felt tears swelling in her eyes. After so many attempts, she had finally gotten her one wish. She was pregnant, and they would finally be this happy little family she always dreamt about.

* * *

_I enjoyed reading what you guys liked and did not like about the previous chapters. I apperciate the feedback! __I don't know what to say anymore. I kind of feel like this story is starting to drag, but that's just me, and I have like no self-esteem. This is a real issue. __For obvious reasons, I didn't make the last section italicized, even though it may just be in the past. I can't disclose. I knew if I did/didn't italicize, it would be kind of obvious as to who the girl in question is (and that's my secret for now). I know I said I wouldn't be updating this story until the end of this week or next week, but I did have some free time today so I took the opportunity and wrote this chapter and the next. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Chapter 17 won't be posted until everything in my life is sorted. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. Any sort of feedback is welcome as long as you aren't leaving nasty comments! _

**_naley12: _**_thank you! _

**_thibbs65:_**_ yes, yay! I hope Haley does not believe what Lindsey what she's saying. Lindsey seems to be a calculated, and manipulative, ya know? I hope eventually Haley comes to her senses and realize Lindsey doesn't have her best interest at heart. I hope you're not so upset with Haley's answer/decision. I promise one day, Naley will get engaged and married, just not right now, as it is too soon. I can't wait for Jamie either he will make the story far more interesting. _

**_dianehermans: _**_thank god lol. I am glad you don't hate me! Me too, but I hope you enjoyed the bit of brucas we did get in this chapter, more will come soon!_

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


	15. Chapter 15

_"Happiness comes in many forms in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be."_

_\- Lucas Scott_

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**January 29, 2007**

"You know what's funny? I feel like you know everything about my relationship with Clay, yet I know next to nothing about your relationship with Lindsey," Haley said absentmindedly.

Nathan contemplated whether or not he should address that comment, probably opening up a can of worms, or simply ignore it. "I didn't think it really mattered."

"Well…it kind of does. I mean, she was your last serious relationship, right?" she asked.

He looked at her, this time with more concern. "Haley…my relationship with her happened a while ago. We dated when I was fifteen, five years ago. She's insignificant in my life." He got up, sitting down next to her and taking her hand. "You're important, much more important than she was and she ever will be. You are my life," he insisted as he burrowed his head into her neck.

Absentmindedly, he began rubbing her left ring finger. Haley noticed and immediately felt guilty.

* * *

Rachel watched Brooke paint her nails a baby blue colour. Just as she finished, Brooke began to blow on them, hoping to speed up the process of drying.

"So where is everyone else?"

Brooke shrugged. "Where's your husband? I feel like I've seen him five times since you've gotten married," she joked.

Rachel picked at her nail. "He's working," she responded.

Brooke nodded. "Lucas should be coming soon. I think Jake and Peyton said they were taking Anna to see Peyton's parents. Haley and Nathan will hopefully be here soon, too," she explained.

"I'm kind of nervous about Haley and Nathan. It's like fate hates them," Rachel said.

"I know. But…they love each other. They should be okay. I'm just glad they could work things out after Nathan proposed to her and she said no," Brooke replied optimistically.

Rachel nodded in agreement.

There was some awkward silence before Brooke spoke. "So where are we ordering from?"

Rachel shrugged. "Where do you want to order from? I'm sure the others will be fine with whatever," she said.

Brooke thought for a minute. "Sushi?"

Rachel bit her lip. "Actually, can we get something else? I don't really feel like sushi tonight," she explained.

Brooke looked at her strangely before nodding. "Do you want to order Chinese?" she suggested.

* * *

Hale and Nathan sat outside Rachel and Dean's house for a few minutes. There were a few moments of awkward silence.

"I need to tell you something, Hales," he said, breaking the first bout of silence.

She looked at him expectantly.

"I need to go to New York City next weekend to be able to qualify for try-outs."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why do you have to go all the way to New York City?"

He shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea, but that's what I was told."

"Have you been practicing with a partner this whole time and I've just been completely oblivious?" she asked, half-joking.

"No, but I'm working under someone else's name," he explained.

"Is that even legal?"

He nodded. "But now I'll finally be able to play ball independently. That is if I can pass the tryouts," he explained.

Haley smiled. "I'm sure you will, Nathan. You're smart and I'm sure you'll pass," she insisted as she touched his hand.

He let out a small laugh. "Well, I'm no Haley, but I think I stand a good chance."

* * *

Lucas brought in the Chinese food, setting the large bags down on the counter. Rachel and Brooke piped up when they saw the two of them.

"Do you think we got enough for the six of us?" Rachel asked.

"Six?" Lucas inquired.

Brooke nodded. "Yeah, six. Haley and Nathan are coming. I thought I told you," she said.

Lucas scoffed. "Yeah, like you ever tell me anything."

Brooke rolled her eyes before continuing to help Rachel take out all the food and put it on the counter.

A minute later, there was a knock at the door and Rachel immediately ran to get it, finding the lovebirds in question there. She let them in, smiling when she led them back to the group. Brooke had opened a bottle of red wine to go with the food. She pulled out six glasses before Rachel piped up.

"Oh, Brooke? I'm not drinking tonight," she announced.

Brooke raised an eyebrow. Someone not drinking? That's odd.

"Yeah, you can put away another glass, too. I'm not drinking, either," Haley said before she let go of Nathan's hand to join the group.

Brooke found this oddly suspicious but didn't waste time in pouring wine for the rest of them before taking a swig of her own glass.

"You guys just ordered everything, didn't you?" Nathan asked as he looked at the whole counter full of food. Brooke had already filled a plate and was looking for a pair of chopsticks in the bag.

Five minutes later, everyone was seated around the island, eating. Lucas was attempting to show Brooke how to use the chopsticks, but eventually, Brooke just got sick of it and ended up stabbing her pieces of meat with the sticks, trying to just pick them up and put them in her mouth. Lucas gave up trying to help her.

Mindless chatter ensued between mostly everyone, but Rachel remained oddly silent.

Finally, someone picked up on this.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" Haley asked.

Rachel nodded before straightening up. "I actually have something that I sort of wanted to tell everyone," she said. Everyone looked at her expectantly. "I'm pregnant," she said after a moment of excruciating silence.

There were mixed reactions. Immediately, Brooke and Haley were really happy and excited for her, while Lucas was a bit calmer about things. Nathan took the longest to wrap his head around it. He supposed that since he was like a brother to her, it was weird to even consider anybody impregnating her (since he knew how babies came about).

He pushed the odd feelings aside and congratulated her.

Rachel suddenly felt a lot better. She hated having to keep it from her friends, even if only for a short time.

She looked from Nathan to Brooke, then over to Haley. She didn't miss Haley taking Nathan's hand after she made her announcement.

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. She also didn't miss the meaningful look Haley gave him shortly after her announcement.

Wait a minute!

Was there something here that everyone else was missing?

* * *

Brooke and Lucas had stuck around to help Rachel clean up after Haley, and Nathan had left.

Brooke and Rachel were washing the dishes as Lucas had gone to take out the garbage.

"How many months are you?" Brooke asked as she washed the last glass and handed it to Rachel.

Rachel, still contemplating Haley and Nathan's odd behaviour from earlier, wasn't really paying attention. "Oh, um…two months, I think. I've known for like a week," she mumbled as she continued to dry the dishes.

Brooke noticed the odd behaviour of her friend. "Are you okay, Rach? You seem a bit off. Is this just pregnancy hormones?" she asked, half-joking.

Rachel bit her lip before putting the glass down. "I don't know, maybe it was just me…was Haley acting weird to you tonight?"

Brooke turned off the water, not really facing Rachel. "A little bit, I guess. But you know she's going through a lot. With Clay being an asshole and Lindsey being a bitch, I can't really blame her. Maybe she's just dealing with the stress of all that crap and planning Peyton's wedding on top of it all."

She thought about it a bit longer. "I guess you're right, Brooke. But I'm kind of worried about her. And Nathan, too. I'm always worried about him."

Brooke turned around to look at Rachel as she put the rag where it originally was. "Why are you so worried about him?" she asked cautiously.

Rachel shrugged, crossing her arms. "Just because he's like a brother to me. And you know…he's Nathan. Sometimes he's too sweet for his own good. You know, he's one of those people who believes everyone is good on the inside. He's a big believer in forgiveness; he doesn't realize that sometimes, there's no hope," she said absentmindedly.

Brooke squinted her brown eyes, trying to figure out what Rachel was trying to say. "Was there something hidden in that?" she asked.

"No. I'm just worried about him sometimes."

* * *

Haley walked into their apartment first. She turned around to see Nathan there. She stopped in the kitchen, hoping to question him more about this trip that he neglected to tell her about.

"So when are you going, exactly?" she asked.

"Next weekend."

She nodded. "And you staying late and practicing extra hours? That was you 'studying', wasn't it?"

He nodded. "Among other things. Planning the proposal."

Pang. Another dose of poison to her heart. "Nathan, I—"

"If you're going to apologize again, you don't have to. We already talked about this," he said before beginning to make his way to their bedroom.

"No, but we didn't really talk about it. You dismissed it. I don't want to feel like I'm rejecting you. I love you so much. But I'm not ready," she said.

"I know that. You've said it, and I understand. I don't blame you and I shouldn't have rushed into things so quickly." He paused before looking her over once more and speaking again. "Maybe this distance is what we need right now."

"We already had distance!" she exclaimed, not really yelling at anybody in particular, but wanting to get her frustration out. "Please. I don't like it. I miss you. I just wish things could go back to the way they were," she pleaded.

"But they can't go back now. We need to learn to move forward," he said before going into their bedroom.

"But we can't move forward until we deal with this. We can't just push it aside. I hate this. I feel like when we makeup, we're not really making up," she said with a pout.

He sighed. "Why is that, Haley?"

She opened her mouth, a small noise coming out. She just sighed for an answer. "I think you may be right; I'm overreacting," she mumbled.

It seemed she was the only one who realized that wasn't the truth.

* * *

"So did you decide on roses or lilies?" Haley asked as she walked through the florist with Peyton.

"I think I like the lilies," she said.

"Haley! You're avoiding the question! Why are you acting so weird?" Brooke called as they walked through the labyrinth of refrigerated display cases.

Haley looked at the displays of lilies. "I don't know what you're talking about, Brooke," she said dismissively as she looked at some lily-of-the-valleys.

Brooke huffed. She turned to the petite blonde. "You see it, don't you?"

Peyton opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Brooke rolled her eyes and continued. "You're acting as though you're totally fine, but whenever I try to ask you how you are or how Nathan is, you get all cagey and change the subject."

"I can actually agree with her on this one; Brooke has a point. You've been acting strange, Hales," Peyton said.

Haley didn't say anything as she looked at the different flowers. "There's nothing to say. He should be coming back on Tuesday, hopefully with the good news that he made the tryouts. We need to talk when he gets home," she said as she looked at the calla lilies.

Peyton pouted. "Haley, don't you dare break up with him. You two are supposed to be walking down the aisle together! Brooke will go with Lucas, Rachel is with her husband. Come on, this was perfect!"

"Peyton, Brooke, you can all relax; I'm not breaking up with Nathan. I'm trying to fix this. I really can't see us breaking up anytime soon…" she began, trailing off.

Brooke raised an eyebrow. Was there truth in what Rachel had speculated?

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" she asked boldly.

Haley spun around to face Brooke. "I don't have to convince anybody; I know what's true and what's not." She sighed as she looked at the flowers. "Peyton, I'm going to need a solid decision on these flowers as soon as possible," she said.

Brooke groaned dramatically from behind Peyton.

* * *

Rachel put her hand protectively over her stomach, rubbing it slightly. She watched as Peyton's expression changed when she looked at the ultrasound.

"Wow," Peyton uttered. "How far along are you?"

Rachel shrugged. "Ten weeks? I think. The doctor isn't totally certain, but that's what we all think."

"I guess Anna is going to be getting a playmate soon," Rachel said before handing her back the ultrasound.

Rachel smiled slightly. "I guess so," she repeated.

Peyton couldn't help but notice that there was something off about her today. "Are you alright, Rachel?"

She sighed. "No, not really. I'm just really nervous about…everything. And just really aggravated," she added.

"You should try not to be. It can't be good for you or the baby."

Rachel scoffed. "You sound like my mother, Peyton. The baby and I will be fine. But I'm serious. I'm nervous about my friends and just being a mom. I'm aggravated with Lindsey."

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows. "Lindsey…?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you, Peyt? Bitch crazy. You and I are both Nathan's best friends; you know how either of us would do anything for him. I don't know if you realize how crazy and obsessive Lindsey actually is, but I see it as a growing problem that's going to drive a wedge between the two of them," she said.

"I don't think it'll grow into a huge problem—"

"I think it already is a problem. And if Lindsey drives a wedge in between Haley and Nathan, I'm going to drive a wedge up her—"

"Rachel! Even if you're right, what are we supposed to do?"

Rachel shrugged as she thought it over.

* * *

He couldn't sleep and he wasn't sure why.

He tossed and turned in bed, trying to think about the possible reasons he was so miserable.

In hindsight, it was stupid to leave things so unresolved with Haley. But really, what was he supposed to do? He pretended that everything was alright between them, but in reality, it was hard to be around her after she rejected him. The more she reassured him that she simply wasn't ready to be married again, the more he felt as though she was overcompensating for something.

And he still felt kind of guilty for never telling her about Lindsey in the first place. He led her to believe he hadn't had a serious relationship when they first met, which wasn't true (as his history with Lindsey was solid proof).

He sighed, sitting up. After glancing out the window of his hotel room, he got up and went out into the balcony. The cold, late-January air was freezing on his bare skin.

He stared at the lights for the millionth time that day. Before, he didn't think much of them. Now, as he was confronted by the several million lights, the only things illuminating the night sky, he was faced with the same realization he had had several months ago. He thought of the only thing that could challenge these lights in their brightness.

Haley.

He could feel them falling apart like it was out of their control. He knew how much he loved her. He knew she loved him, too. But…they couldn't prevent the inevitable.

At this point, it was pretty much inevitable that this ended horribly. He knew.

It made him sad. He didn't know how to fix it. Everything seemed broken beyond repair.

Suddenly, he realized how at fault he was. Sure, he didn't have to take all the blame, but he was as responsible for all of this as she, if not _more. _Haley had told him that she was the one who always ran. Here he was—how cowardly—standing in another state, while she had stayed for him. He was just _running _from his problems. Not courageous enough to _face _them.

He sighed, sliding down the façade of the building and sitting on the cold stone floor of the balcony. He looked out. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. If it was, he was facing it now.

This was it.

* * *

"Anna, Mommy is going to try on a dress right now. You're going to stay out here with Auntie Haley, okay?" Peyton said to the small one-year-old girl who was sucking on her fingers. Even though she knew the little girl couldn't understand her, she felt a strange obligation to some explanation.

"You know she can't understand you, right?" Brooke asked from beside them.

Peyton frowned. "I know, but…okay, I'm going."

The petite blonde disappeared behind some gray curtains to change. Brooke sighed as she absentmindedly flipped through some bridal magazines.

"Have you spoken to Nathan?" she asked cautiously.

Haley shook her head before a soft "no" escaped her lips.

Brooke would've delved further, but she could sense Haley's vulnerability and discomfort with the whole situation. She just let it be.

Luckily, Peyton came out mere moments later in her wedding dress. Both girls smiled as soon as they saw her. Despite fitting incorrectly, she still looked beautiful in it.

The seamstress came quickly to take note of the alterations that needed to be done to the dress. Meanwhile, Peyton trained her eyes on her daughter.

"Do you like the dress, Anna? Do you think Daddy will like it?" she inquired, anxiety hidden in her voice.

"You don't actually think that she understands you, do you?" Brooke asked again.

"I'm sure she loves it and that Jake will love it, too," Haley said, answering for Anna and ignoring Brooke.

Brooke scoffed. "Jake won't care what you're wearing. He loves you, and once guys love you, it doesn't matter what you wear." She thought for a minute before her lips curled into a smirk. "Eventually, they just want to take it off of you."

"Anna!" Peyton exclaimed, reminding Brooke of the little girl sitting right beside her.

"She doesn't understand me. And one day, she'll find out," Brooke answered as she looked over at Anna.

Peyton looked down at the seamstress, who was getting up from adjusting the train. She gave her a cue, which meant that Peyton could change out of the dress.

"Way to be appropriate, Brooke," Haley commented sarcastically.

"What? I'm just telling the truth. Isn't that how you've always known me? This is just how I am around you guys."

Anna reached out for Brooke she quickly picked her up.

"Besides, I love being an aunt. I'm not like Peyton and Rachel or you; I'm not ready for kids just yet. I'm going to spoil my Clementine as much as I can," she answered while hugging Anna for good measure.

Haley nodded as she thought about it.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay to be alone tonight?" Brooke asked as she stood next to the door.

Haley nodded. "Nathan said that he's coming home tonight," she answered.

"I thought you said you hadn't spoken to him," Brooke said, confused.

"He texted me," Haley answered evenly.

Brooke nodded slowly and skeptically before she left.

Haley sighed as she made her way to the couch. She wasn't a huge TV-addict, but she did have favourite shows.

As she flipped through On Demand, she allowed her thoughts to roam, which was not exactly the wisest thing. Different TV shows triggered different thoughts, some worse than others.

A few TV shows later, she heard her phone ringing on the island. She already knew who it was. She let it ring, not thinking much of it. She burrowed herself deeper into the covers as she selected some murder show. The feeling of dread she got as she watched the show seemed normal by now.

About half an hour later, she heard keys in the door, attempting to open it. She was buried so deep under the covers that she wasn't concerned about anybody really seeing that she was awake.

She heard footsteps make their way into their bedroom. They got closer again, stopping a fair distance away from her, before turning around again and walking back into the bedroom.

She sighed but decided to stay there. At least her relationship with the couch wasn't in shambles.

* * *

"So what did you think of this meal?" Brooke asked Peyton and Jake.

Jake shrugged. "It tasted fine."

"Jake," Brooke scolded, "you're acting like Lucas. He's so passive about all of this—"

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry, baby, but you are." Brooke turned her attention away from him and back to the bride and groom-to-be. "Peyton? What do you think?" she inquired, somewhat nervous.

"This is definitely the best we've tried so far. I think we should go for this one. Jake?" Peyton added, looking for confirmation from her fiancé.

Jake nodded in agreement. "Whatever you want."

Brooke kicked Lucas under the table.

"I know, I know; take notes," Lucas filled in for her.

Brooke smiled as she jotted something down in the wedding planning book. Seeing the amount of drama that Haley was going through, Brooke had filled in for her whenever the girl in question was feeling too stressed out or too busy working on her relationship to planning a wedding.

Brooke couldn't blame her.

"Alright, so we've got the dress, the flowers, the food…venue? Are you still undecided?" she asked.

Peyton exchanged a look with Jake as she held his hand. "We have an idea. We just aren't sure yet. We were thinking of getting married at Jake's aunt's house. You have to see it; it's huge and it's gorgeous," Peyton explained.

"Did your aunt agree, Jake?"

Jake sighed. "I don't think she'd really have a problem with it. And if she did, there's not much she can do about it," he said.

Brooke furrowed her eyebrows and watched as Peyton's grip on Jake grew tighter.

"She passed away and left the house to Jake in her will," Peyton explained quietly.

Brooke stuttered, speechless for the first time in a while. "I-I'm sorry, Jake," she choked out.

* * *

Haley shivered as she looked at the menu. She felt chills just thinking about this meeting. She just wanted to get things actually resolved in this meeting. She knew that things weren't going well.

As she took a sip of wine, she shivered again as the rush ran through her, down her spine.

She heard someone sit down in front of her and she looked up apprehensively. She knew who it was.

"Hey," she answered laconically.

"Hey," he replied with mirrored terseness.

Haley put the menu down so she could look at him better. He seemed to be avoiding her gaze.

"How did that test go?" she asked cautiously, trying to read his expression, but finding it quite impossible.

"I didn't pass," he answered.

She frowned. "I'm sorry, Nathan. I know that it meant a lot to you—"

"Don't be sorry. I can take it again on the 20th," he answered before opening the menu.

To be honest, this conversation was frustrating her. But now, she assumed she now knew what he felt like. For a while, things were opposite; he was trying to get her to open up, while she was rather stubborn and guarded.

"Does that mean you're going to be gone for Christmas?" she asked nervously, biting her lip.

After a brief moment of silence, Nathan shook his head. "No."

She contemplated reaching out for his hand, just craving his touch. But something in her decided it would be a bad idea to do so.

She changed the subject. "Has Jake talked to you a lot about the wedding?" she asked, attempting to make small talk.

"He hasn't really started worrying about it yet. He's more concerned about Anna," he said.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. "What's wrong with her?"

Nathan shook his head. "I didn't mean to suggest anything was wrong with her; I just meant, he's concerned about her in a way which fathers usually are, especially about their daughters."

A small smile played on her lips. "Is that what you'd act like with your daughter?"

The words came out of her mouth though she didn't intend them to. She was nervous to hear his reaction.

"I think I'd be a lot worse," he answered honestly, a small smile also on his lips.

* * *

Rachel paced around her room, her hands on her stomach protectively as she let her anger out.

"I feel so weird about this whole situation. At the end of the day, I'm not involved, but Nathan is like a brother! And Haley…I've just gotten so close to Haley over these last few months she's been seeing him. They're both such amazing people and they deserve so much happiness. And I know—okay, I _know _that they're only going to find that kind of happiness with each other. But those stupid...morons have to ruin everything! Clay and his lying, cheating ass had to come back again and horrify Haley. I don't know if I told you what happened with the two of them. Like a year and a half ago, Haley was engaged to him and she had gotten pregnant, while he was out cheating on her with like ten different women. And when she left him, he had the _audacity_ to make such a vulgar, disgusting, appalling proposal. He asked her to have a baby with him. Have a freaking _baby _with him! All while she's with poor Nathan, who can't do anything. I mean…how would you feel if my ex-boyfriend—no, ex-fiancé—came into town and asked me to have a baby with him? I mean, besides the fact that I'm already pregnant…and my last ex…well…it doesn't matter! The point is, I feel so bad for both of them, but I don't know what to do!"

She let out an exaggerated sigh as she sat on the bed. "Please, tell me what to do," she pleaded as she put her head on his shoulder.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You don't always have to take everything upon yourself. I don't want you to be stressed out like this. You're far too pretty," he teased.

Rachel shoved him slightly, making him laugh. "And you can't shove me back because I'm pregnant. With your child, no less," she added.

Her husband smiled. "How can I forget about our baby girl?" he asked as he put a hand protectively over her stomach.

"I think it's a boy," she disagreed.

"Girl," he said.

"Boy!"

"Girl!"

"Okay, so we don't really need to be concerned about it just yet. But you're avoiding this whole situation," she said as a frown began to appear on her face. "What am I supposed to do?"

He sighed. "Well, normally, I'd say that you just need to stop worrying about it; you can't really help them. But you're my wife and I know you; you're not going to leave it alone, even though it's really none of your business to get involved in any of this. If Haley and Nathan won't listen to you, maybe you need to see someone else about this."

"Like who?" Rachel asked, her expression turning into a pout.

Dean smiled. "You're really cute when you do that," he commented. Her pout dropped off into a look of skepticism. "Okay, fine. Maybe you need to talk to Lindsey or Clay. Maybe you need to get to the root of the problem, which I think would be one of them in this case," he said.

The faintest smile formed on her face before she nodded. She kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you. You're the best," she said as she began to leave to do work Haley wasn't brave enough to do.

She felt a hand grab onto her wrist and looked back at him. "What are you doing?" she asked before a kiss was pressed against her lips. "Are you planning on messing around with me? Do you keep forgetting that I'm already pregnant?" she inquired.

He just laughed and kissed her again.

* * *

About an hour later, after more food, they were both feeling soberer. In effect, the two were less open and candid with each other.

"Don't you get lonely going to New York?" she asked finally.

He shrugged. "Sometimes, but it's New York; there's something to on every block."

She bit her lip. "I know, but…" she trailed off slightly. "I could go with you if you want," she suggested quietly.

"You don't have to go with me, Haley."

Her heart sunk a little at the sound of her name. She had just grown so accustomed to him calling her "Hales" that it felt foreign now.

"I don't want you to be lonely," she answered meekly.

He looked up at her, studying her very carefully. "Is there a reason you don't want to stay here, in Tree Hill?"

She contemplated telling him all about Clay and Lindsey. She suddenly realized that it would probably infuriate him and she honestly didn't want to be around for that.

"It just gets kind of lonely. And I miss not having you around, especially at night, when it gets cold," she said.

"I don't have to go if—"

"No, you need to go. It's an amazing opportunity for you if you pass, Nathan. Don't pass it up because of me. If you don't want me to come with you, I'll deal with it," she answered firmly.

They both sighed, unsure of what to say now.

"So where do we go from here?" she asked.

Nathan was somewhat taken aback, scared of what that really meant. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "I can't do this forever. Where are we? Whenever I try to talk to you, it's like…you're avoiding me. Like suddenly, I'm a leper or something," she answered.

"I'm not avoiding you—"

"Well, what else would you call it?" she asked, somewhat agitated. "Every time I talk to you about anything concerning the both of us, you get really cagey and make up some excuse to leave," she explained.

He thought for a moment. "Do I really do that to you?"

"Yes! And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling like all the things we went through as a couple are irrelevant now. I'm sick of feeling like…you're giving up on us."

"I'm not giving up, Haley," he assured her. It sure felt like he was to him, too.

She sighed dramatically and stood up from where she was sitting. "I'm sick of you lying. To me and to yourself." She grabbed her bag. "I don't know what you want. I don't even know if _you _know what you want anymore."

He didn't know what to say as Haley stormed out of the restaurant. Should he chase her? Should he claim his undying love for her?

He was frozen. He didn't know what to say.

"Funny meeting you again."

* * *

She stumbled out of her car. She wasn't exactly sure how she had gotten to his house again. She knew for certain, even in her inebriated state, that she shouldn't have been driving drunk. Thank goodness, nobody seemed to be on the road at midnight on a Thursday, especially taking the back routes to that house.

She barely walked—it was nearly a crawl—to the front door, including her hobble up the steps.

She righted herself using the doorknob, allowing herself to stand—albeit, a bit shakily—in front of the doorway. She hit the doorbell with the palm of her hand and waited.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he opened the door.

She sniffled a bit, taking a deep breath. "I needed to see you again?" she said clearly, despite her clear intoxication.

He shook his head. "I…I don't understand."

"I needed to see you," she answered, more firmly and surely this time.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she just invited herself in.

She looked around at the walls, now unfamiliar to her. "I needed to see you," she repeated, more slurred this time. "I just…I…I couldn't…forget…about everything that we…gone through, I…I can't…"

"I don't—"

"Kiss me."

He stared at her, befuddled. This was so against all of her pleas these last few weeks. "What?"

Before she could explain anything, she grabbed him and placed her lips firmly on his.

"Haley, I—"

"I miss the way they used to be," she mumbled unclearly.

* * *

_What did you just do, you idiot?_

Drink.

_Here you are again, you dummy, drinking to forget. How could you do this to her?_

Drink.

_How could you do this to us? How could you? I trusted you! You were supposed to be different! You're no better than him!_

He pressed his fingers to his temple. Clearly, the drink was just intensifying this pain. He pushed the bottle away, trying to steady his thoughts and his breathing.

Sure, he regretted it. Yes, he loved her. Yes, he made one _huge _mistake. Could he ever go back?

Probably not.

He had _cheated._ Fucking _cheated_. And he couldn't take it back, no matter how much he wanted to. He could pretend it never happened, he could confess to it and beg for forgiveness. Hell, he could go find her right now, spill his inebriated soul to her, and plead redemption from this.

But it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change the fact that he was a _cheater. _What was done was done; there was nothing he could do.

He was just as bad as Clay.

The very thought made him reach for the bottle and take a swift drink of it. The liquid burned going down.

_Good. It's going to hurt ten times worse every day you have to live with this, you ungrateful asshole._

He sighed in misery, throwing the bottle away. He heard the shatter as it reached the foot of the front steps.

"Why?"

_Why, why, why would you do this to her again?_

* * *

"Haley, what are you doing here?" he asked once more, for about the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

"I don't know where I want to go," she answered vaguely, a different answer for the fifth time.

He sighed. "Why are you here? Don't you have a boyfriend? Why are you coming back to me?" he inquired. "I thought you loved him so much more than you ever did me," he added softly and bitterly.

"I don't know…I don't know," she muttered.

"So where do you want to be? With him or with me?"

She was looking away, her expression unreadable. "I want sex," she answered finally.

He looked at her, quite puzzled by this uncouth, somewhat profane declaration coming from the ever-so composed, proper Haley James' mouth.

"What?" he asked, still deeply puzzled, but almost amused.

"I haven't done it and I…I don't know," she confessed with a slur as she fell back onto the wall.

He sighed. "Haley—"

She sighed dramatically. "I just don't know anything anymore. I used to feel like…I had all the answers, but now…I just don't know," she interrupted vaguely.

"Can I take you home?"

She looked at him with glazy eyes. "No, I'm fine. I brought my car here."

He looked at her, rather startled. "You _drove _here tonight?" he inquired, stunned.

She nodded. "It wasn't a far drive. I know this route by heart," she promised.

"That's really dangerous, Hales!" he scolded.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not so bad. It's like a reflex," she insisted.

He grabbed his keys quickly before taking her hand. Tingles shot up his arm when he touched her. "I'm taking you home," he insisted.

She groaned, but couldn't really protest due to her extremely intoxicated state.

"Where are your keys?" he asked when they got outside.

He turned to face Haley, who was crossing her arms stubbornly.

"Come on, Haley. Where are they?"

She shook her head stiffly.

"Haley!"

She groaned once more before going through her purse and handing him the keys.

"Thank you."

He began to walk off. He almost reached the end of the driveway before he realized that she wasn't following him.

"Haley?"

Her feet were placed solidly on the ground. It was obvious that she didn't want to move. Her heels stayed firmly on the ground, her arms still crossed across her chest.

"I'm not letting you stay out here, in the cold, in this state."

She pouted. Finally, he had to take her by the arm and lead her to the car.

* * *

He heard a loud noise in the apartment. At first, he thought he was hallucinating, but when he heard someone stumble, he shot up in bed.

"Is anyone there?"

It was as he said these words that he realized the agonizing headache he had contracted from the alcohol.

"Shit," mumbled someone outside.

He faintly recognized that voice, but the mind-splitting headache distracted him too much for him to figure out who it was.

He heard someone stumble into the bedroom, falling on the floor near the bed. They groaned. He quickly matched a face and name to the voice.

"Haley?" he called out weakly. "Are you okay?" he questioned.

She groaned again before pulling herself up on the bed. She really didn't respond to him, as he assumed she was too drunk to.

He watched as she tried to pull up the covers to her chest, but failed. She hadn't even bothered to try and undress, much less put on her pyjamas. She just mumbled something faintly before she turned around and faced him.

"I…I really screwed up tonight," she mumbled. She added something incomprehensible, but he didn't attempt at deciphering it. He just felt her get closer to him, almost unconsciously.

"I know. So did I," he replied unknowingly.

* * *

She woke up with a hammering in her head. She could barely recall the events from the previous night as a whole but remembered faint, brief parts of it.

She remembered (vaguely) fighting with Nathan at their dinner. She remembered stomping out of the bar. She sort of remembered drinking many shots of tequila and vodka the previous night. After that, things were a haze. She remembered (eek!) driving someplace, but couldn't recall where. She remembered stumbling back into bed, telling Nathan something, but she couldn't quite remember.

Before she could continue self-loathing or interrogating herself mentally, she smelt a faint waft of freshly made, strong coffee coming from the kitchen.

As if her brain was on auto-pilot, Haley got up and neared the smell. Of course, Nathan was preparing it in the very way she had trained him to—extra strong.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

He sighed. "We got into a…rift of sorts and…you left the restaurant. I don't know what happened, but you got back later pretty drunk," he explained.

She nodded. "And you don't know anything else?"

He hesitated for a moment as if he had something really heavy weighing on his mind. Truth was, he was debating with himself mentally. He wondered whether this would be the perfect opportunity to tell her the truth, or if he should just keep it to himself (once again).

Once more, he decided to be a chicken and not tell her.

_You just keep making things worse and worse, don't you? What the hell is wrong with you?_

"I have a class in like an hour, so I think that I should be getting ready now," Halet said as she grabbed a bottle of pills and poured herself a glass of water.

Nathan nodded, just hoping that she wouldn't decide to play a game of Twenty Questions. Thankfully, she didn't.

He just knew…he needed to get out of there.

_Ugh, what are you doing, man? You're supposed to be her rock. You're supposed to be still and be her home. Now you just want to run. She was wrong all those months ago; she was never the runner—you were. You're going to let her down now, after everything she's been through._

_No, and screw all of that. You fought so hard for her before. How are you just going to give that all up? You can't. She was worth fighting for, and she still is. She wants to be with you. You're just being an ass by throwing it all away. Good job, jerk._

He scolded himself relentlessly, the criticism coming all-too-easily. He knew this kind of hatred and acidity in words all too well.

It almost scared him. The thing which was scarier was remembering Haley's devastation the last time she was jilted by her lover.

What would happen the second time around?

* * *

_ I promise I'm not a part of the foodinati or something like that. I know I made food references to all of my replies, but I have low blood sugar and I cannot eat any sugar anymore. Well, I can't eat any extra sugar, which means I have to eat healthy stuff. Tonight's dinner was some kind of chicken with spaghetti squash and salad. Damn salad. Do you feel me? I don't like green stuff. It makes me feel stabby._

_Before any of you mock me, I am having a hard time even writing this God-forsaken thing you're looking at right now, so you should all be damn thankful...I just didn't want to leave you guys hanging..._

_You guys as a majority left me kind of flustered. I thought I kind of clearly put the mystery to rest here about the pregnant girl from the last chapter: it's Rachel. I'm a little bit flustered that you guys (and so many of you) didn't realize that it was Rachel since I thought I made it kind of obvious. Then again, you may have thought Lindsey or Haley was pregnant because of her little mood swings or...whatever it was that I gave her in these last few chapters._

_I also kind of wanted to ask you guys if you'd like to meet Dean (AKA, Rachel's husband, who we know next to nothing about). If you don't, sucks to suck because he's in the next chapter. You are all finally meeting him. Congrats._

_Also, I am probably not going to be able to put out another chapter for another week and a half to two more weeks. I literally JUST finished this chapter and as most of you know, I am going to Florida until this next Saturday._

**_thibbs65:_**_ Thank you! Yes, I am so glad Haley decided to open up to Nathan. She knows that he only has her best interest at heart. Great guess, but unfortunately not, it was Rachel. I know that seems like quite a shocker but not since she's the only one who's MARRIED out of all of them. Thank you so much thibbs that honestly is so sweet and means the world to me. I have always loved one tree hill and wanted to write my own take on the show, as I had a passion for writing for since I was 8 years old. _

_**Guest:** thank you! I do too. I think the relationship the girls have with one another is such an important one and such a lovely one, they all seem to understand and love one another. I know you're all bummed she did not say yes to Nathan, but she's also so young and was just engaged to another man she was in love with over a year and a half ago, it takes time to heal and process. She's not ready for that big of a commitment to Nathan as of yet. Lindsey and Clay, huh dynamic duo? You're the only one who guessed it right. I have no idea honestly, at this point, I am just going with the flow so maybe around 50-60 chapters possibly? There is still A LOT to uncover. This story won't move to the present until chapter 25-30. _

_**dianehermans:** Thank you! _

_**Guest:** Thank you! I know but its for the better don't worry they will be engaged one day, just not yet as Haley has a fear of marriage. Thank you, that's so sweet. I appreciate the kindness. I do too she is a great friend to step in and help Haley plan Peyton's wedding. We will see the Laley friendship develop later on. I too loved their friendship on the show so genuine, respectful and loving. _

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


	16. Chapter 16

_"Sometimes people play hard to get to make sure that the other person's feelings are real."_

_— Brooke Davis_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**January 30, 2007**

"Rachel, I really fucked up."

Rachel, however, was very busy exchanging messages with her husband. She smiled at his reply.

"Rachel!"

She snapped up, putting her phone down. "Oh, sorry, Hales. What were you saying?"

Haley sighed. "I just don't know what to do with Nathan anymore, Rachel! Things used to be so perfect and we never even had to try, but now…everything is a struggle. Sometimes I don't even feel like it's us; it's everything around us."

Rachel groaned. "Don't tell me it's those bums again. Are you really going to let Lindsey and Clay or some other bitch screw up what the both of you have worked so hard for?"

Haley was taken aback by her brusqueness.

"I'm being tough on you because I care about both of you. Too much to let you just let this all go. It's not fair, I know. But you two are going to find out some way to make this work."

Haley hung her head, somewhat ashamed at her own complaining.

* * *

Nathan sat, staring at the sketch before him, which seemed to be mocking him. It didn't seem to be making any sense.

After a good fifteen or twenty minutes of simply staring, he heard a knock at the door, which was made of frosted glass. He was able to make out that it was Jake.

"Come in."

Jake entered, carrying some blueprints. He placed them on Nathan's desk.

"Sorry it took me so long to give you back these prints. Peyton keeps asking me about napkin colours and flowers. Be glad you're not getting married," Jake said with a sigh.

Nathan's expression remained the same. Jake could tell something was wrong.

"What's up with you? Are you and Haley still having problems?" he questioned.

Nathan put down the pen he was playing with. "I'm going to tell you something and you can't tell anyone. Not Lucas, not Brooke, not even Peyton. Especially not Peyton."

Jason sat in the chair on the other side of his desk, indicating that he was quite intrigued.

"I kissed Lindsey."

Jake couldn't believe it. "You kissed Lindsey? Lindsey, you were going to propose to before going to college? Lindsey, that heartless…bitch?" he asked.

Nathan nodded, feeling guiltier by the second.

"Were you sober?"

Nathan thought about it for a moment. He was pretty sure the answer was no, but there was always that one percent of doubt…

"No. Did you tell Haley?"

Nathan looked away from Jake. "No, I didn't. I haven't yet."

Jake sighed. "You've got to tell her and fast."

"I know but…I don't know how to. Especially after all she's been through with Clay. This makes me just as much an asshole as him," Nathan said bitterly.

"No, it doesn't. First of all, you were drunk. Most of the time, he was sober. Second, this is the ONLY time you have cheated on her. He had cheated on her more times than you have hair on your head. Third, while he slept with a thousand girls, you've only kissed Lindsey."

Nathan looked discouraged. "I still cheated."

"But it was only—"

"I still cheated," he repeated.

Jake knew there was no point in trying to argue with Nathan; he had already made up his mind.

"I need to go to New York again. I need to tell Haley," Nathan announced.

"You haven't told her yet? Aren't you leaving in like three days?" Jake asked.

Nathan shook his head. "Tomorrow, actually. I just haven't gotten to it. And I just found out for sure two days ago."

Jake thought about this for a minute. Without really thinking it through, he turned the phone on Nathan's desk so it was facing him. He dialled a number quickly before putting it on speakerphone.

"Hello?"

Nathan was startled when he heard the voice on the other end; it was Haley that Jake had just called.

"Nathan?" she asked, confused.

"Hey, Haley," he answered, as nonchalantly as he could.

"Nathan? Are you okay? You almost never call me from work," she said, the nervousness peeking out in her voice.

He nodded, only to realize she couldn't see him. "Yeah, I'm fine. But I needed to talk to you about something," he explained vaguely.

He quickly picked up the phone, to Jake's dismay, taking it off of speaker. Jake sighed in defeat.

"I need to go back to New York."

There was a pause which lasted for what seemed like forever.

"Oh."

The single word elicited from her pretty lips was laden with sadness.

Nathan knew she wouldn't ask why on her own, so he answered for her. "I can take the test again in two days, so I'm going to go tomorrow. Hopefully, things go well this time."

Haley gave him a fake half-laugh and he could tell. It broke his heart.

After another minute of meaningless explanations, Nathan put the phone back on the receiver.

"Thanks a lot, Jake," Nathan said sarcastically.

* * *

Haley sighed sadly. She looked at her nails. Rachel had left a while ago. Haley lied and told her that she had wanted to get a drink or something which Rachel couldn't have, but she just needed time to herself.

By now, it was already nine at night. She had been sitting there for hours by herself, just thinking. She didn't want to go back home. She didn't even know where that was anymore. She just felt like a nomad or a gypsy. There was no longer a solid place to call home.

She still couldn't figure it out—how did things get so screwed up?

"You've been sitting here for a really long time."

Haley looked up from her mild coffee to see a dirty blonde with blue eyes wiping down the booth in front of her.

"I can leave if you need me to," Haley insisted, though she had no intentions of moving.

She girl shook her head. "You can stay. It's fine with me. It's kind of nice to see someone in here. It's so empty. It kind of makes this place feel like…a failure."

"It's just a little diner in a small town," Haley reassured her.

"I guess you have a point," the woman agreed. She looked at Haley's table. It was empty except for her cup of coffee. "Please, let me get you something other than that ice-cold coffee."

Haley pursed her lips. "I'll take a Black Russian or a Bloody Mary," she answered dryly.

The woman sat down across from Haley. "I can tell something really crappy happened today. You can tell me what it was."

Haley sighed. "I have a boyfriend, who I love so much. But I messed up so much last night. I got drunk last night and acted like a slut and basically threw myself at my ex-fiancé. Now, I found out that he has to go to New York for the second time in like two weeks. I'm worried that we're going to break up. I love him too much for that, but I…I don't know what to do," she confessed.

As she said it, she felt some sense of relief. It really felt better to tell someone.

"Okay, I get the impression that I'm missing a lot of this story, so you should probably start over. I'm getting the impression that there's something with your ex, too. What's his deal?" she asked.

Haley sighed. "He was cheating on me with everyone while we were engaged. My boyfriend knew for a while that he was scum but…I wouldn't believe him. Finally, I saw for myself and broke up with him. Then, my boyfriend and I got together. Things were so perfect until my ex had to get back in the picture. And…"

"And what?" the blonde asked, intrigued.

"And his ex-girlfriend came back, too."

The blonde sighed. "Oh, God. Don't tell me about the exes." She looked Haley over. "So why are you here, sobbing to me about it? Shouldn't you be talking to your boyfriend?"

Haley sighed. "I want to. You have no idea how much I'd like to tell him everything."

"So then why don't you?" the girl asked, her blue eyes blazing. "Sweetie, believe me when I say that I know it can be hard to put everything you love on the line; I've lived it. But if you love him and he says he loves you like I think he must, things will work themselves out."

The girl tried to look at Haley, who was staring at the table and trying to avoid the woman's gaze. Haley knew it was no use since the diner was basically empty besides the two of them.

"I'm just scared because I cheated on him. I kissed someone else."

"…And?" the girl inquired, looking for more.

"And I cheated on him!" she exclaimed.

"All you did was kiss someone else? That shouldn't even constitute as cheating, especially if you were drunk," she said, attempting to persuade him.

Haley sighed. "I still feel like I betrayed him, and in the worst possible way."

The girl thought for a moment. "Well, I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I'll give you some, anyway. I think you should go home and tell your boyfriend everything that's happened. I'm sure he'll understand." After a moment of hesitation, she went on to add, "He's the boy who brought you flowers when you went on a date here, right?"

Haley looked up, confused. "How did you know that?"

"I remember seeing you a while ago. I knew you looked familiar. And your boyfriend? He's pretty cute, too. And sweet, he must be."

Haley nodded. She turned the bracelet on her wrist. "He is," she said dreamily.

"Girl, you need to go home to your boyfriend and makeup with him, right now. Just now, you went to your happy place, talking about him. Go," the girl ordered.

Haley got up from the booth, suddenly encouraged by the blonde. She was just about to leave before she turned back.

"Hey, who are you anyway? I don't think I've ever seen you before," Haley said.

"I'm Mila," the girl responded simply, her blue eyes sparkling slightly.

Haley thought for a minute. "Mila? Do you own this restaurant?"

Mila just gave her a smile.

* * *

He felt blocks being thrown at his legs. He looked down at the little girl, her dark brown waves spilling right near her shoulders.

"What should I do about this?" he asked.

In reply, she fumbled around with some of her blocks.

"I'm trying to think about it. What do you think your mother would do?"

She whimpered by his feet, continuing to play. She looked up at him, offering him a block.

"Did she ever tell you that you're a really good listener?"

That made her smile slightly. He was pretty sure that babies just knew sometimes.

"We'll figure this out, Anna. Or they will. But if they don't, you'll find a way to get them back together, won't you?"

Anna gurgled happily in reply.

* * *

Brooke smiled when she looked up to see Lucas walking through the door of the restaurant they had agreed on. This wasn't their first date—more like their sixth or seventh—but Brooke hadn't wanted to put labels on anything and would barely admit that they were dating. To Brooke, this was like a friendship date—despite the fact that everyone else could see otherwise.

"I got your text this afternoon," she said as soon as he sat down.

"I saw it and it made me think of you," Lucas repeated.

"I don't know if I should be flattered or offended that onions made you think of me," Brooke confessed.

"Did you even read the poem?" Lucas asked.

Brooke laughed. "I did, but I didn't think I understood it. Was the author seriously trying to compare an onion to love in a good way?"

He nodded and decided to change the subject; Brooke wasn't about to tell him how sweet she really thought he was for sending it to her. "How was school today?"

Brooke sighed. "Long and boring. My English professor is giving us another essay, even though the last one was due like two days ago," she said as she rolled her eyes. "The only interesting thing was my psychology class. At least that professor is sort of interesting." She reached out to hold his hand. "Let's not talk about that, though," she concluded as she avoided looking directly at him.

"What do you want to talk about, then?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I just want to sit here with you," she replied. "I don't feel like I need to say anything to you."

She could practically feel him smiling. After a few moments of silence, he said, "You make me so happy,"

Brooke couldn't help but smile. He'd said it before, but this was the first time Brooke truly _believed_ it. She looked up at him sincerely with a smile on her face. She was betraying _every single thing _she had ever learned. "You make me _very _happy too."

* * *

She arrived home, not realizing just how late it was. She scrambled to get to their bedroom but was upset to see he was already fast asleep.

Not wanting to wake him, she just changed into her pyjamas and slid in bed next to him.

She was so anxious. How was she to tell him the next day about everything? How was she going to fix it? She knew she was going to, regardless of what anyone said.

Her thoughts continued to roam until she eventually grew tired and fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, she woke up to the sound of an alarm. It was the alarm she usually got up with. She always woke up long before Nathan, so she thought that she had time.

Of course, when she looked over her shoulder, she found that he was nowhere to be found; just her luck.

"Nathan?" she called out quietly, hoping he'd reappear. "Nathan?" she repeated louder this time.

"Nathan?" she asked again as she crept into the main living area.

Neatly folded, she saw a letter on the kitchen counter with her name on it. Nervously, she picked it up, reading it.

So Nathan had left already.

Just her luck.

* * *

Less than three hours later, she had called the hotel he was staying at to see if he had gotten there already (once more, using the alibi that she was his wife). Apparently, he had gotten there about an hour ago.

_I can't just let him leave that easily._

She completed a quick round of lighting packing and within twenty minutes, was out the door and en route to New York.

* * *

"Have you spoken to Haley? I've been calling her all morning and she hasn't picked up," Rachel said as she was fumbling with her phone.

Peyton shook her head. "I saw her yesterday. She was flipping about Nathan. I feel so bad for both of them. They're just really scared about everything."

"Looks like the honeymoon is finally over."

Rachel nodded in agreement. Before they could say anything else about the situation, Brooke came running over to their table in the restaurant, sliding before she sat down next to Rachel.

"Did Haley call you?" Brooke asked, out of breath.

"No—"

"That girl is crazy," Brooke declared.

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows, confused at what Brooke was getting at. "What makes you say that?"

"Because she called me about half an hour ago, telling me about how she had just gotten to New York City and was waiting to check into the hotel," Brooke answered.

"She's in New York? Why?" Rachel inquired.

Brooke shrugged. "I know Nathan was going there. She probably went to follow him," Brooke theorized.

They all thought for a minute.

As she thought about it more and more, Rachel's blood began to boil. She knew who was to blame for a lot of this. Sure, Nathan and Haley had their own faults, but there was certainly a catalyst.

She was going to get revenge on that bitch.

* * *

She looked around the room. He obviously wasn't here.

Sighing, she hid her suitcase in the closet. The room was void of any evidence he was there, which made her wonder where he was.

_You don't need to stay here all day, waiting around._

Nodding and agreeing with herself, she exited.

Haley spent the rest of the day wandering around New York, visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, Times Square, and Broadway.

Suddenly, she remembered coming to New York with her parents and older sister, Quinn, when she was ten years old. She remembered watching the couples skate and thinking about what it would be like to have someone to skate with like that when she got older.

Now, she looked longingly at them.

After the tiring fifteen minutes or so of punishing herself due to her inability to keep a man, Haley headed back to the hotel. She walked up the stairs slowly, worn out from the day of walking and hopping on and off of subway trains.

She debated knocking on the door but decided to just open it. Once again, the room was empty, but the lights were all turned on, so she assumed he was back.

She looked around the room, peering in the bathroom and seeing it left open ajar, with the light turned on. She looked outside and barely saw a figure outside, just outside the light from the room.

Some part of her wanted to go over there and talk to him, but the other part wanted him to find her.

She decided to go out onto the balcony. She sat down on the ground beside him.

He looked at her, very confused.

"Hi, Nathan," Haley said finally.

"What are you doing here, Haley?"

She looked out at the starry Manhattan night. "I'm doing the same thing you did for me in Paris," she said. She finally looked up at him. "I miss you. I'm not going to let you go," she said firmly.

He reached for my hand. "I'm so sorry for ever making you feel that way," he said apologetically, his voice cracking.

Haley wiped away a silent tear. "When I broke up with Clay, I didn't fight it. I just accepted that I couldn't change anything about what happened. But with you, I'm willing to fight whatever to stay with you because I love you so much. It's just hard because…I feel like we're both giving up now," she confessed.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been as open and affectionate with you as I should have been," he told me. "You deserve better than that." She gave a small scoff, not really believing that statement. "But I need to tell you something. When we had the argument at the restaurant and you walked out, Lindsey was there and I…um…"

_Oh no._

"I let her kiss me," he said.

Haley found herself letting out a small breath of relief. "Really? I need to tell you something, too. I kind of…I got really drunk and I kissed Clay," she confessed.

Nathan was clearly somewhat frustrated by that but realized that he made the same mistake.

"Nathan…can we just agree that the only lips we want to kiss are each other's?" Haley asked.

Nathan smiled and nodded. "I couldn't agree with you more," he told her.

Haley smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. It made her think of something.

"I'm tired of dealing with the past," she said, capturing his undivided attention. "Lindsey, Clay…they were the past. You're my future. They don't matter to me." She took his hands in her own. "You do. So if it's still on the table, I'd like to try for you and me looking at a future together. It just doesn't feel right if my future isn't with you. And honestly, I can't picture it any other way."

Nathan took a moment to think about this. "Am I dreaming, or are you saying what I hope you're saying?"

Haley looked at him with amazement in her brown eyes. "How did I ever get so lucky to find you?"

"Actually, I think it was me who found you, smoking on a terrace garden and giving yourself lung cancer."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Hey, we all have our vices," she said defensively.

"I'm sorry for the secrets and the lies and not telling the truth," he told her as they walked into the room.

"I'm sorry for not letting you in and not going to you for help. I know that you'd do anything for me, just like I would do for you," she answered.

"Hales, do you ever get the impression that you talk way too much?" he asked her with a small smile.

She hit him playfully. "Get used to it, since you'll be dealing with it for the rest of your life," she said.

"Good. I can't imagine life any other way," he said before kissing her sweetly on the lips.

"Remember we're meeting my parents tomorrow for dinner."

He smiled as she took his hand.

* * *

Brooke practically passed out on her bed when she returned home from dinner that night. The night had seemed to drag on forever and, after her little mini-breakdown in Haley's bathroom, she had been eager to go home and get to bed. She blamed her lack of self-control on having had little sleep during the past few days, even though she was pretty sure that had little to do with it.

Throughout the whole night, it had seemed like Lucas had wanted to talk to her about something, yet he never pulled her aside. She wondered if she had freaked him out back in the living room when he had first arrived. Honestly, she wouldn't blame him if he was; she had acted much too skittish around him for her liking. She had tried to act as calm as possible, trying desperately not to be too close to him, but obviously, that didn't work.

And now she was going to have to spend a _whole_ day with Lucas, with only Jamie to prevent them from doing anything stupid. She didn't know if she would be able to handle it, but, for the sake of her godson, she would.

But, despite all that, she knew that she was looking forward to Saturday _way_ more than she should have been.

* * *

He wanted so badly to knock on her door. It was here, right in front of him, and she was behind it somewhere. And he wanted to see her, but he knew that he shouldn't. His actions at Nathan and Haley's had apparently made her a bit wary around him if her attempts at avoiding him the rest of the night had anything to do with it.

The thing was, after a few hours of laying awake in bed and thinking about nothing but her face, Lucas _knew_ he needed to tell her how he felt. He couldn't hold back his feelings anymore. So, before he could change his mind, he had driven to Brooke's house, one thing on his mind. He was going to tell her.

But now, standing at her door, he had to rethink his decision. Plus, there was a great chance that Brooke didn't feel the same way. If he knocked on the door, he knew he would be risking their friendship and he couldn't stand losing that.

So he reluctantly turned away, knowing that he couldn't do this to her right now.

But then the front lights came on and the door opened and Brooke was standing there, a spatula in her raised hand, in nothing but a short pair of shorts and a white tank top. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her in front of him, squinting at him with a confused expression and the spatula raised in a defensive mode.

"Oh," she murmured and she lowered the spatula, realizing that it was just him. "It's you. I heard a noise and thought it was a robber or something."

He laughed and shook his head. "And you were gonna attack him with a _spatula_?"

She looked down at her weapon of choice and glared at him playfully. "Hey, I was freaked out. I just grabbed the first thing I saw."

"I'm sorry I freaked you out," he said, unable to keep the grin from forming on his face. She was just so cute as she was annoyed.

She shrugged. "It's okay. Just don't do it again," she added, smiling lightly.

Lucas looked at her, in her dishevelled state, and admired her beauty. Brooke was the type of girl who didn't need anything—no makeup, no fancy clothes—to make her look insanely beautiful. It was just always so natural for her. It was one of the many qualities he loved about her.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Um," he said, shrugging, "I guess I just wanted to…uh…I actually really don't know." He chuckled and grinned weakly back at her, all the while desperately hoping she wouldn't invite him inside because if she did he knew he wouldn't be able to resist her offer... And then he wouldn't be able to hold back telling her what he had really come here to do.

"Interesting…" she said, laughing lightly. He couldn't keep his eyes from her smiling face. They were only a few feet apart, but he felt like if he moved any closer he'd tell her everything. _Please don't ask me to come in_, he begged to himself, which was obviously useless.

"Well, I think you should come in." Her voice was soft as she took a step closer to him.

His throat noticeably tightened and he took a deep breath. Of course, she would do the very opposite of what he wanted. It's like she read his mind and asked him just what he didn't want to hear. He knew he could refuse, but in his mind, the deed was done: she asked something of him and he would do it.

"Okay…"

He followed her through the door and into her house, knowing that this was it—he was going to do it. His whole life was going to change tonight, but whether it would be for the better or for the worse, he didn't know.

* * *

She wasn't sure why she asked him to come in; after all, she had spent most of the night trying to avoid him. But for some reason, she just couldn't resist him. He was her biggest weakness.

There was one thing she did know, though: she would do something incredibly stupid if she wasn't careful. She was going to have to try her hardest to contain her emotions around him. She absolutely could _not_ risk another almost-kiss, or better yet, an actual kiss. It just couldn't happen and she wouldn't let it. She got her self into this, and she was going to try her hardest to get out of it as cleanly as possible.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked as they both sat down on her couch, him on one end and her on the other.

"I'm good, thanks," he replied, his arm stretching casually across the back of the sofa. Her eyes travelled to his hand, only a few inches from her face and she felt her resolve slowly begin to crumble.

It was quiet for a moment, both of them lost in their own thoughts before Lucas spoke again. "We didn't get much of a chance to talk today," he murmured, scooting closer to her. She tried to move further back, but the arm of the couch wouldn't let her. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest.

"I missed you, Brooke," he said quietly. The hand that was resting on the back of the couch suddenly moved towards her face and she exhaled sharply when it rested on the back of her head. "I really, _really_ missed you."

She smiled hesitantly. "I missed you too, Luke. A lot, actually."

His smile grew as he moved even closer to her. Now they were only inches apart, his hand still on the back of her head, slowly stringing his fingers through her hair. She didn't have much resolve left and judging by where the conversation was surely headed she was pretty sure she was screwed.

"Brooke," he said, putting his other hand on her knee and she was pretty sure that she visibly gulped, "I did a lot of thinking when I was out sailing with my mom and I came to a pretty important conclusion."

"Yeah?" Her voice sounded strained as she tried her best to sound as calm and collected as possible.

He nodded and looked straight into her eyes. The hand that was running through her hair moved to her face and he slowly cupped her cheek.

For a guy that she knew didn't have _those_ types of feelings for her, Lucas sure wasn't touching her in a simple, friendly way. This was more. There was a spark there that hadn't always been there. At least not for a few years, that is. It had been there once when they had been together and in love. But he wasn't in love with her now…was he? She didn't know if she was absolutely sure anymore and, when he moved even closer to her, his face only a few inches from her, she had a strange feeling that she was about to find out.

"I really don't know how else to say it, so I just will," he said. She suddenly felt his hand grasp hers and she took slow, steady breathing, allowing his thumb to gently graze her knuckles. "I'm in love with you, Brooke."

She was pretty sure that her heart stopped at that moment. There was no explanation for what those words did to her. There was a joy; joy at knowing that he truly did have feelings for her, that he loved her the way she loved him and, after all these years, they still might end up together. There was also fear; fear at the huge change this would bring in her life and fear that she could lose the amazing friendship she had formed with him, not to mention her friendship with Peyton. And then there was a deep sadness; sadness in knowing that she and he just wouldn't work. At least not right now.

But she needed him to know that she felt the same way, even if they couldn't be together right now.

"Luke," she began and she felt the tears forming in her eyes. Not sad tears, though; these were happy tears.

"Brooke," he said, cutting her off, "I know this may come as a shock to you, I mean it's only been seven months but back in senior year everyone, including you, was telling me it was Peyton—she was the girl I was meant to be with. So I let myself believe that, and when she broke up with me I let her go. I got over her. And then I asked Peyton for a second chance, but I never had this firm, unwavering faith in my heart that she was the one I was meant to be with so I let her go again and look how that turned out. She's getting married to Jake. With Peyton, I never had that faith. With you it's different. It's real, Brooke. The way I feel about you is real and it's amazing and I've never felt this way about anyone else. I love you, Brooke. You're the one for me. You're the girl I want standing next to me when all my dreams come true...And I don't know if you feel the same way but…"

He looked at her helplessly, obviously not knowing what else to say to convince her of his feelings. Tears streamed down her cheek, but she didn't care. He was in love with her and that was all she needed to know.

"Lucas," she said as he wiped away her tears with his hands and waited patiently for her to respond. His gaze held hers and his grip tightened on her hand. "I…I love you, too. I'm _in_ love with you."

His mouth stretched into possibly one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen on him and she knew she didn't need to say anything else. And suddenly his lips were on hers and he was kissing her like no time before. He wrapped his arms around her and her hands ran through his short blonde hair.

She couldn't stop. The feel of his lips against hers, his hands running gently along her back, it was almost too much for her. But she knew she wanted him now more than ever. Her mind briefly flashed towards Peyton, but she pushed it aside, letting the feel of him against her take her away from reality. His hands were pulling furiously at her shirt and she let him take it off before quickly pulling off his own shirt. She fell back on the couch and he fell on top of her, their lips never leaving each other.

They were moving too fast, she knew that, but for some reason, it just felt so right that there was no way to stop it.

"Mmm… not here," she murmured against his neck as he traced a line of kisses along her face and neck. He paused for a brief second. "Bedroom," she continued. He smiled and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked carelessly towards her room.

And then she was on the bed and he was on top of her. He was looking down at her, still seeking her permission. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. Tonight she would let them have their fairy tale and tomorrow... well, tomorrow she would just wait and see.

* * *

Nathan handed Haley a Star of Bethlehem as he opened the door home. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips, took the flower, and ran back into their bedroom. He followed. She was certainly out of her element today.

"What's wrong, Hales?"

She walked out of the closet, her mouth hanging open.

"What's wrong? The dinner, Nathan! Did you forget that we're having dinner with my parents _tonight_?" she asked, running back into the closet.

The more Nathan thought about it, the more nervous he got, which was why he chose not to think about it, or remember.

"My sister might be there, too. Ugh, this is going to be like death at a funeral."

He had to gulp. Haley was pretty much _always _right. "I'm sure it can't be that bad…" he attempted.

"No, it can be. My sister Taylor is the most overbearing, manipulative, cold person I've ever met," she said.

This was going to be a lot of fun.

* * *

"I'm just so nervous that they'll find one little thing they think is wrong with you and just nitpick at it. Remember, you're a professional now; they'll find that impressive. You have your license, right?" Haley asked as she fixed the collar of his shirt.

"Don't you remember that I passed the exam the day after we got back from New York?" he asked, smiling.

Haley nodded, not really breaking a smile, but the memory was a fond one. "Okay, so remember: you're a professional. What else? No arrest record. And do not mention that tattoo and I'll try my hardest not to. No lewd or profane jokes," she added.

"Me? Since when do I ever make lewd or lascivious jokes?" he said, a bit indignant. It wasn't funny in this time of seriousness.

"Since we've started dating? Probably like a week or two afterwards?" Haley suggested. "You are not as pure and innocent as I once thought you were."

The two of them walked over to the front door of the James' house. Haley was visibly nervous, probably more so than Nathan, who seemed to be fine.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Are you?"

Haley sighed. She rang the doorbell.

"It's open!" her mother shouted from the inside of the house.

Haley took a deep breath before Nathan opened the door for her. She smiled as he held the door open.

Haley's mother was sipping on a glass of red wine as she examined one of her case files. Even at a family dinner, she couldn't fathom parting from her work.

"Hey, Mom," Haley said as she gave her mother a slight kiss on the cheek and a small hug.

"Hello, Haley."

Mrs. James looked at her daughter expectantly, waiting for an introduction. Haley shook her head. "Oh, um, Mom, this is Nathan, my…" she trailed off, trying to decide which title to give him. "…boyfriend."

Mrs. James nodded.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. James," Nathan greeted, shaking her hand.

"Where is Dad?" Haley inquired, cutting into their formalities.

"I think he's in his study. He's a workaholic," she said dismissively.

Haley scoffed. "Look who's talking," she said to her mother. She turned to her boyfriend, taking his hand. "Come with me to say hello to my dad."

"Dinner is in five minutes!" Haley's mother called as they were halfway down the hallway to her father's study.

Or at least, that was where Nathan thought she was leading him. Haley quickly stopped him in the empty hallway, trapping him between her long, slender arms.

"Aren't we going to meet your father?" Nathan asked, looking down the hall.

"I thought we could do…other things," she said.

Nathan looked at her in a somewhat confused state. "I thought that you said not to play dirty, Hales," he reminded her.

She pouted. "I was just trying to let loose a little bit. You're already doing so well," she said before taking him by the arm to her father's study.

"I'm warning you that my father may threaten you, but you shouldn't take it personally; he did that with all of my boyfriends," she said before opening up the study doors.

Mr. James took off his reading glasses, putting down the case file (like wife, like husband).

"Hi, Daddy," Haley greeted before kissing her father on the cheek. "Um, this is my…boyfriend." She still seemed to have trouble with that word.

"Haley, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Haley held her breath and blanched slightly. Her father was slightly more displeased than her mother when learning of Haley's breakup with Clay, who appeared to be the epitome of the ideal son-in-law. Aside from that, Haley knew he had problems with his cholesterol and blood pressure in the past, so hearing even jokes of such a morbid subject was not comforting.

"Hales, your sister is here!" Lydia James shouted from inside the kitchen.

Haley sighed. "I'd better go say hi to Taylor. Nathan?"

"I think we should talk for a few minutes. It could give you and Taylor some time to catch up and me some time to figure out if your boyfriend is good enough for you."

Haley blanched once more. "Please, don't scare him off, Daddy. And please don't use that intimidating technique of interrogating people which won you all those cases," she said before exiting the room.

She walked back out to the living room/kitchen, where she saw her sister for the first time in a while.

"Hey, Tay," Haley said before giving her older sister a hug. She hadn't seen Taylor since…probably before her pregnancy, or maybe right after. A lot had changed.

"Don't look so happy to see me," Taylor jested.

Haley paused for a moment. Taylor was being somewhat _nice_. Was this some kind of miracle? Or was fate just being incredibly cruel?

"Where is your husband?" Haley asked cautiously, afraid that Taylor's current veneer of kindness would disappear.

Instead, she just sighed. "He's coming, but he had to see someone in New York. I don't know; he really didn't talk about it much," she said nonchalantly as she took off her Burberry coat. It was only then that Haley noticed the slight bump in her stomach.

"Oh, my God. Taylor? Are you pregnant?" she asked cautiously.

Taylor gave her a smile, confirming Haley's theories. Though there was that tiny pang of melancholia she got whenever someone else announced a pregnancy, she was very happy for her sister. She was happy to become a (biological) aunt.

"Congratulations, Taylor," Haley said before hugging her sister once more.

"Thank you, Hales."

"When is the baby due? How far along are you?"

Haley looked down at the bump. "They're due in May and I must be four months pregnant," she said.

Haley was about to reply, but her mother interrupted her.

"Girls, can you help me set up the table?"

They nodded before going to help their mother.

* * *

Haley kept her hand on Nathan's leg as she watched her mother bring out the food.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Taylor inquired as she began to eat.

Haley stared at her finger. Her large engagement ring was taunting Haley; Maybe it wasn't so much the beauty and vanity of the ring, but the sentiment in it.

"Um, we've been going out for…"

Haley began to wonder whether she and Nathan should tell her parents the truth—that they had been dating for eight months already. She wondered if they'd be upset that she never told them.

Luckily, Nathan came to her defence. "We've been dating for six months," he said quickly.

Haley sighed as the tension faded. Her hand was still resting on his leg.

"Six months? And you didn't think it was time to meet the parents yet?" Jimmy James inquired.

"It's not his fault; it's mine. He's been wanting to meet you for months, but I've been holding off on it," Haley said before leaning on Nathan. "I'm still nervous to meet his parents," she added.

Nathan nodded in agreement.

Haley's parents accepted this. Their expressions were neutral. Haley bit her lip in nervousness. They hadn't acted like this the first time she brought Clay home; they had welcomed him with open arms, her father carried on business conversations with him, while her mother kept telling her that she should marry the boy. By comparison, this was a _disaster_.

On the other hand, Taylor seemed to be taking quite a liking to him. "How did you two meet?" she asked curiously.

Haley and Nathan exchanged a glance and a smile. Faked smile. She certainly couldn't disclose the truth (or the whole truth); she wasn't with Clay six months ago.

"We met at a benefit dinner. He sat next to me and was very sweet and kind," she said. It was a _version_ of the truth, okay?

"And I caught her smoking a cancer stick outside and I knocked it out of her hands," he recalled.

"Haley Bob! That's a horrible habit. Since when did you pick that up?" Lydia inquired indignantly.

Haley looked a bit embarrassed. "It's something I sort of picked up from Clay." It wasn't a total lie; he did smoke on occasion, she remembered. But it wasn't something that he really _taught _her. But if she told him this lie, maybe they wouldn't be so heartbroken with their breakup.

Both James parents looked rather taken aback by that. Nathan looked at Haley, concerned.

Taylor broke the awkward silence. "Nathan, what do you do?" she inquired.

"I'm an architect right now, but I am working towards become the next great NBA player," he answered simply.

"Why an NBA player?" Taylor asked, her curiosity clearly piqued.

" Well, I've loved basketball the second I could hold a ball. I knew I wanted to make it to the NBA," he answered.

"So right around when you met Haley?" Lydia asked.

"Do you have your architect license?" Taylor continued.

Nathan nodded. Haley was about to protest but remembered the story they were going with. She decided to do him one better.

"You should see him play shirtless," Haley jokingly added as she began laughing, but stopped when she realized no one else joined in. "Nathan actually just designed the new house down the street," Haley added, knowing her parents would be impressed with him having such a wealthy client (the house was _huge_).

Lydia looked at least _somewhat _impressed. "Really? You designed the Applebys' house?" she inquired.

Nathan nodded.

"Their house is beautiful, Nathan. Have you done any other recent projects?"

"He just did the renovation on that one wing of the country club. And he designed that church that opened up just off of Main Street," Haley answered.

Taylor gasped. "_You _designed that church? We want to have the baby christened there. It's gorgeous," she said.

Haley couldn't help but think it was a little premature but didn't argue.

"You know, Nathan, Lydia and I were looking to do some renovations on this house. I think you'd be perfect for it," Jimmy said finally.

"Mr. James, I don't know if—"

"Call me Jimmy."

This caught both Haley and Taylor off guard. Mr. James had _never _told _any _of their other boyfriends to call him by his first name on the first meeting. This was unprecedented.

Nathan wasn't sure how to respond. "I don't know if this is such a good idea. I mean, I'm dating Haley and—"

"Clearly, if your designs are good enough to impress my wife and my older daughter, both of whom are extremely opinionated—"

Haley seemed to take some sort of pride in this comment.

"—I don't think I could settle for anything else," he said.

"You should do it," Haley prompted. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before whispering to him, "It would give you and my dad a really good opportunity to bond, considering…"

Nathan looked around the table, lastly to Haley's large brown eyes, begging him to say yes. "When you put it that way, how could I say no?"

* * *

"I can't believe how well dinner went," Haley said as she climbed into bed alongside Nathan. "My father has _never _asked another guy to call him 'Jimmy' the first time they met," she continued.

Nathan was surprised. "Really? Not even _Clay_?" he inquired.

Haley shook her head. "No. I mean, they talked business and my mom kept telling me about how I should marry him already, but my parents never told him to call them by their first names."

Nathan smiled thinking of that. "So I finally beat him at something?"

She curled up to him. "No…you have me?"

"He had you first," he answered. "But I won your dad over faster than he did."

Haley's face fell slightly. "Really?"

Nathan nodded before kissing her on the cheek. "Yeah. Goodnight, Hales."

Haley sat, confused. _What just happened?_

* * *

"Brooke, the flowers you picked out are so gorgeous. And please tell Peyton that I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday to help her move," Haley said as she looked over a portfolio Brooke had thrown together for her own wedding.

"Peyton said not to sweat it and that she'll see you at her housewarming get-together next week," Brooke answered. "And anytime. That's just what the maid of honour does."

Haley smiled. She wasn't sure who to choose, but with everything Brooke had done for her, from helping her get through everything to their long, long history together, Haley just knew Brooke was fit for the job.

"Okay, bye, Tigger. I'll see you soon."

She looked at the caller I.D and couldn't recognize the number. Puzzled, she answered.

"Hello?"

There was a pregnant pause on the other end before an eerily familiar voice spoke. "Haley?"

Her blood turned cold. "Clay. I haven't heard from you in a while. What do you want?" she asked coldly.

"I need to talk to you, desperately."

Haley sighed. "What do you want from me?"

"I need a favour."

She thought about this for a moment. "Since when do I owe you any favours?"

"Since I know your secrets and I have something you want."

* * *

She glared at him from across the booth. "What are you holding hostage?" she asked, her voice as even as she could make it. Her blood was boiling in her veins.

Clay slid a picture across the table. Haley blanched as soon as she saw it.

"How do you have this?" she asked nervously.

He looked at the picture. It was a James family heirloom. It was a bird in a cage necklace. It was on a silver plated chain, the cage was fashioned of sterling silver, with diamonds, rubies, amethysts, emeralds, and other precious gems encrusted in it. Inside was a small glass bird with glistening sapphire eyes and a shiny pinkish pearl in its beak. The whole pendant was only about an inch or inch and a half in length, she recalled.

"In your haste, you never took it out of our safety deposit box. And since I already took your name off the list of people who can open the box, it seems that you're in my debt if you want this back."

Haley's brown eyes had a fire raging in them. She was livid. After everything, _he _was asking _her _for favours?

"Clay, you don't give me back that necklace and I'll sue you for all you're worth," she threatened.

"I think that's more money than you'd know what to do with," he said nonchalantly.

She was both confused and a bit intimidated by his calm reaction. She knew this couldn't be anything good.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"You know what I want."

Haley examined him for a moment, hoping he was joking, but knew he wasn't. "If you want a child so badly, get a surrogate or adopt. I am _not _having your baby," she said sternly. "I am _not _having sex with you, either."

He sighed before taking her hand. She (surprisingly) didn't pull away at first. "Haley, if we had another child, they'd have the perfect mix of DNA. They'd be so smart and they'd be the best at everything," he persuaded. He looked at her, confused. "Don't you want that?" he asked.

Haley pulled her hand from his grasp. "Maybe a year ago, I wanted it. But I've changed. I don't need flawless. My definition of perfect has changed. You may be flawless, but you're not perfect. Not to me. I have a feeling that a person with both of our genetic makeup would be a dangerous child," she concluded. "We're too alike. And if I had another child with you, I'd feel like I would need to be with you. And I don't want to be with you. I don't trust you, Clay. Do you understand that?" she asked.

"No. I can't. Why else would you think I'd keep asking you?" he questioned quietly.

Haley looked at him. He was sick; she knew that. But she couldn't help but feel some kind of pity for him. It was clear he _really _wanted this. Why? She wasn't quite sure, but it was clear that he was desperate here.

"Clay, you need help."

There was silence so loud, you could hear a pin drop. "I know."

She looked at him. For a moment, she remembered what things were like when she loved him so much.

* * *

Haley sat in their room, staring at the blank wall opposite the bed she was sitting on. She was thinking about how to help Clay in this situation if she even should.

She sighed, slumping back on the headboard of the bed.

She heard the door open but didn't move an inch. A moment later, Rachel and Brooke walked into the room.

"Are you okay, Hales?" Brooke asked immediately, noting Haley's odd behaviour.

Haley sighed. "I talked to Clay this afternoon," she explained, biting her lip.

Rachel groaned. "What did he want this time?"

She shrugged. "Same old. But this was different. He actually _admitted _that what he was asking me to do with him was sick, but he couldn't help but ask. I didn't know what to say anymore. I don't know what to say. I feel guilty saying 'no' so harshly all the time. Maybe I should try and help him find some alternate solution, like going to find a surrogate," she thought aloud.

"I want to know how you could even show a little bit of forgiveness for all of the mental abuse he put you through. And physical abuse, too, I guess," Rachel said.

Haley sighed. "I can't over it, but I can't just abandon him right now," she concluded.

"So what are you going to do?" Brooke asked.

Haley thought for a minute. "Maybe I can help Clay find a surrogate. Or a girlfriend. Maybe this is what he needs to get over his horrible habit of cheating," she added.

Brooke was surprised that Haley seemed to talk about this so easily. She expected the topic of cheating to be touchy when it came to Haley (and Clay).

"You're such a good person, Haley. I would never be able to do that," Rachel said.

Haley sighed. "I mean, I know he's hurt me, but I can't forget that I cared a lot about him at one point in time. I'd be lying if I said some part of me wasn't still grateful for the things he did for me so long ago," she explained, thinking about the rape. It struck a nerve with her. She quickly shook it off and continued. "I feel like I owe him this one thing and then we will have paid our dues."

* * *

She heard the door open to the apartment and she woke abruptly. She shook off the drowsiness and began to assess what she just thought of. She didn't even really notice her boyfriend enter the room.

Though there was a lot of things she blamed him for, there was a lot that she was thankful for that he gave her.

She sighed. Nathan caught on, sitting next to her. She finally acknowledged him.

"I met with Clay today," she said finally.

She caught onto his uneasy look. "Is he bothering you again, Haley?"

She shook her head. "No. I just keep thinking about what he's asking me."

"Are you thinking of doing it?"

She faced him, realizing how uncomfortable he was. She put her hand over his to reassure him. "I don't want to have a baby with him, but…I can't help but feel like he kind of deserves something like this. I think he _needs _it, I guess," she concluded.

"So you're going to do it?"

She sighed, biting her lip. "I think I want to help him find a surrogate," she said.

He nodded. He intertwined his fingers with hers. "I'll support you with whatever you decide to do," he said, giving her a small smile.

She put her head on her shoulder. "I love you so much," she told him. She got up, looking at him more intently. "I just want you to be sure that this isn't going to change anything; you're still mine and I'm still yours."

"I'm really proud of you for helping him," he said.

She smiled. "I do want the best for Clay, but I don't want to have any children with him," she said. She was about to elaborate but decided it would be better not to, as they never had this kind of talk before.

"You know, when I talk to you about things like this, it makes me think that we'll be okay, after all."

He began playing with her fingers. "There really was never a doubt in my mind."

* * *

Brooke walked through her door, completely exhausted, and fell onto her couch. It was 9:30 and she had been at the shop for almost a full twelve hours. She would not be doing that again anytime soon.

"So, are you still gonna be taking that shower?"

She jumped, her eyes widening in surprise as she turned to look at the owner of the voice, who was leaning against the counter in her kitchen. She couldn't help but glare at Lucas as he smirked at her.

"Lucas Scott, are you _trying_ to kill me?"

He laughed and walked over to her. "Sorry about that, I really didn't mean to scare you."

She rolled her eyes and sat back down on the couch. As happy as she was to see Lucas, she wasn't very interested in a shower right now; she had had too little sleep the night before and being on her feet the whole day wasn't helping her feel any less tired.

"Honestly, Luke, I'm really too tired to do anything tonight," she said. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"I can't say I blame you," he murmured, his lips resting against her forehead. "Why don't we just sleep, then?"

"Really?" she asked, looking up at him gratefully. Lucas had always been a gentleman, never pushing her into anything she didn't want, and it was one of the things she loved most about him.

He nodded. "Really."

"Thanks."

"Come on," he said, picking her up gently from the couch, "let's go to your room. It's much more comfortable."

He grunted as he carried her up the stairs and she laughed. "Am I too heavy for you, Luke?"

"No way," he said, chuckling.

He dropped her carefully onto her bed, pulling up the covers over her before slipping in next to her. They lay on their sides, his arms wrapped around her and she rested her head against his chest. Being held by him felt so perfect; there was nothing else in this world that made her feel so content. She felt herself slowly start to drift off, her eyes closing as she nestled close to him.

"I love you," she whispered quietly.

"I love you, too, Brooke Davis, and I always will."

She smiled, knowing that there was nothing else in the world that could make her as happy as those words did.

* * *

_I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. This was more of a filler chapter than anything. I just thought we needed some BL fluff (finally!). SO sorry for the long wait on Brucas I was stuck on what to write about them, but I hope you enjoyed the fluff we got. There should be some more of that in the next chapter. The chapter after that is where things will start to get pretty interesting, at least I think so. Thanks so much for all the reviews you left for the last chapter. It was a great gift to return home to! So my semi-legitimate excuse: I was having writers' block, so I finally forced myself to write like before my Florida trip. I finally finished the chapter, so I was going to upload during my vacation, but I wouldn't be able to as I will be busy. There goes that plan. Oops. _

_I want to clarify that I DO NOT condone cheating whatsoever. I think it's the worst thing you can do someone, and as someone who has been cheated on, I know that there is no coming back from that. However, this is just purely a work of fiction and does not in any way express my own thoughts and opinions, considering Naley the many obstacles they've overcome together and individually they have seemed to forgive each other and move past it. I understand, that it would be extremely hard to move on from finding out the person you love cheated on you. It ruins the relationship completely. I just wanted to make that clear, so people don't assume I am okay with cheating. _

**_*For clarity Lucas and Peyton dated briefly twice. Once in high school, and once after high school before college. However, Peyton ended it both times due to her growing affection and feelings for Jake and she never felt the intense connection with Lucas as she thought she would. She did care for Lucas, but at the same time she never really loved Lucas in a romantic way. The two have decided to remain amicable and friendly, there is no bad blood between them. Peyton has Jake and she's clearly happy, and the same goes for Lucas. Just wanted to mention that so people are not confused.*_**

_Here's a spoiler (spoiler alert; you were warned): Naley, Brucas and cake. And then Naley and wedding stuff. And finally, Nathan helping Haley=rewards. Rewards galore._

* * *

_**thibbs65:** thank you! i promise you no more cheating on anyone's part except the eventual brucas breakup. They will eventually break up but it won't be as amicable as we like to think. Let just say, Haley is still hurting and a bit bitter and resentful from the breakup as Nathan was her soulmate. Will Jeyton make it down to aisle? We will see. I will make sure everything is clear and concise. Thank you, I can't wait either. Nathan & Haley love each other way too much to hurt one another, but sometimes love makes us do stupid stuff. _

_**Guest:** I know! but in his defence, Haley also cheated by kissing Clay when she was intoxicated. Cheating or not, they are going through a rough patch in their relationship, however, that is no excuse to cheat on your partner. Should I bring back Liam? and have him and Haley have a go? _

_**dianehermans:** thank you! I hope this was enough BL fluff and interaction for you! I do miss writing them, but more is coming. Stay tuned for that. _

_**Guest:** I know it seems like everyone is disappointed in Nathan rightfully so, but they BOTH cheated on each other. They shouldn't have done that because the pain they will cause one another to feel would be unbearable. Plus, cheating is no excuse to hurt the person you claim to love esepcially if you're going through a rough patch in your relationship. I hope this was somewhat of an update on Brucas. I have had a hard time writing them, but they will be in more chapters going forward as I see people enjoy the balance between both ships. I'm sorry you feel this story is dragging now, but there is still we need to uncover about everybody. It wouldn't make sense to jump forward and continue the story if we don't have an understanding or clarity on every situation! I hope you understand! Thanks for reading. _

**_Guest: _**_I agree with you completely, cheating is definitely a big no-no, and Nathan being the grown man he is should understand that cheating is one of the main reasons Haley ended her relationship with Clay and that it affected her negatively the last time. She was hurt by his actions. However, this is a work of fiction and considering the many obstacles, Naley has overcome. It seems as though, they have forgiven each other and moved past this since Nathan is set to meet Haley's family. _

**_Guest: _**_Thank you! I like them too. I agree that Lindsey & Clay have got to go as they only drive the wedge between Nathan and Haley deeper and deeper, but what's a story without conflict? Nathan is that guy 99.9% of the time, it just his stupid actions while intoxicated lead him to stray and not be the man Haley deserves and not the man he wants to be. _

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon!_

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N:** Hello everyone, I wanted to apologize for the late update. I know it's been a while. I have been busy with my last year of university (exciting!), my sister's wedding is finally coming together at last, as well as, moving in with my boyfriend. I had anticipated getting this chapter up in early September when I had come back from my impromptu last-minute Florida trip with my boyfriend but my life has been so hectic lately. so I haven't had time to write/post the chapters for you guys as anticipated. _

_With that being said, e__njoy this chapter! _

* * *

_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage."_  
_― Lao Tzu_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**February 11, 2007**

Haley pouted. "I really don't want you to leave."

Nathan touched Haley's cheek, trying to comfort her. "I don't want to leave, but I'll be back in a few days. Besides, you've been so caught up with wedding planning you won't even notice I'm gone. You can invite Brooke over and it can be like a really long sleepover."

Haley laughed. "I love Brooke, but I think one night with her is enough," she replied.

"Okay, fine. But I'll be back before you know it," he promised. He kissed her once more before leaving.

Haley sighed, looking all around at the empty, boring apartment. She needed to do _something _besides plan the wedding. Sure, she wanted the day to come and was beyond excited, but she couldn't stand thinking about it for one more second.

Finally, she came up with an idea and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Clay? I kind of wanted to talk to you today, if you have the time. It's about this whole surrogate thing," she said, nervously tapping her nails on the marble countertop.

* * *

Brooke watched as Rachel ate a whole stack of buttermilk pancakes. Brooke thought, enviously, that she couldn't wait until she got pregnant so she would have a seemingly valid excuse for stuffing her face full of Oreos and Chunky Monkey.

"So did Nathan tell you what this whole meeting thing was about, anyway?" Brooke asked, trying to contain the jealousy bubbling inside of her.

Rachel shook her head. "No, but I can't wait. He's been acting so secretive about everything lately. Maybe this will finally give us some kind of explanation," she said.

Brooke nodded.

"So has Haley picked out the bridesmaid dresses yet?" Rachel asked.

Brooke nodded eagerly. "They're gorgeous. Though, I'm not surprised, considering I'm the one who suggested them. They're red chiffon. The top is detailed with something that looks sort of like ruching, but not exactly. It's one-shouldered. There's this really pretty band of silver gemstone-looking things on the shoulder and the skirt flows out."

"So basically, even if I'm just about ready to give birth at the wedding, I'll look fine?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, basically."

* * *

"I'm helping you out, Clay, but I will walk out this door if you describe your ideal surrogate and she looks exactly like me," Haley warned as she walked into their old house.

He ignored her comment. "You've dragged me to enough of those romantic comedies so I know how things work when women go to sperm banks. Is looking for a surrogate like that?"

Haley was unenthused. For someone so smart, he was being _so _stupid. "Oh, I don't know. I'm a woman who hasn't looked into getting pregnant—nor do I suffer any fertility problems—so I don't really have the need for another woman's uterus and/or eggs."

"You don't have to get into the female reproductive system right now, Haley. I was just asking," he answered.

"You didn't let me finish. I don't have the answer to your questions, but when my sister was trying to get pregnant, she looked into getting a surrogate because she couldn't seem to be able to conceive. I asked her to give me the name and address of the agency she was using. It's just here in Tree Hill so I thought that we should go."

After a moment of looking at her in confusion, he answered. "I can't believe you're so nice to me after everything I did to you," he muttered finally.

She looked away. "Well, I…you helped me, too. More than anyone will probably ever know, Clay. I think that this would really help you mature," she said before walking out the front door.

* * *

"Are you sure that this is in the right direction?" Brooke asked as she looked at their surroundings.

Sure, this was a nice area outside of Tree Hill, probably about twenty minutes. But it looked so _boring_. There was _nothing _here except for the occasional cow or two. This was how Brooke knew she was driving through what looked like the Amish country.

"I'm sure that these are the directions Nathan gave me. Just keep driving for another mile and a half," Rachel said, glancing at the directions her phone gave her.

Brooke sighed. But things started to appear again. The trees began to get less and less like a forest. Brooke gave a small sigh of relief. This wasn't like Tree Hill by any stretch, but at least it was starting to look more like the suburbs than some tiny little down with more livestock than people.

Things were starting to look up again.

* * *

Clay opened the door and let Haley enter the agency first. Haley had made an appointment, anticipating that Clay would be willing to come here with her.

When they entered the room with one of the agents, Haley could feel the mood of the whole room change. Her stomach felt odd.

"So you're looking for a surrogate. Congratulations. Have you done your homework on surrogacy?" the agent asked after some meaningless formalities.

"A little," Clay said. Haley bit her tongue to keep from laughing at his expression. He was _obviously _lying, but the agent didn't realize that.

"Great. So are you looking for a traditional or a gestational surrogate?" she asked.

"Traditional," Haley filled in for him, knowing Clay was utterly clueless.

The agent raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised. Apparently, traditional surrogacy was a lot less common than the other type. "Well, that might make things a bit easier and not quite as expensive. But you do realize what this entails, right? Not to be intrusive, but is there a problem with your eggs? The biggest concern with traditional surrogacy is that the surrogate mother may feel entitled to the child due to a genetic bond," she explained.

Haley's eyes widened when she realized what the woman was insinuating. "Oh, no! I'm not his wife or girlfriend. I'm just trying to help him here. Clay would really want a child, but I know a bit more about this than he does," she answered, not at all modest about it.

"Oh, I see. So how long have you been considering surrogacy?" the woman asked, turning to Clay.

"Well, I've been wanting to have a child for months now. I've considered adopting, but…I really want a child of my own," he explained.

The agent nodded before getting a large book. "Well, here are some potential surrogates. Now, before anything is solid, I'd really recommend meeting with your potential surrogate before making any deals just to be sure about where you stand. And after your meeting where you make some sort of agreement, be sure to go to a lawyer and have them make some sort of solid contract for your surrogate to sign. With traditional surrogacy, you can do things one of two ways. The first is to have her get pregnant the old fashioned way, which is probably the easiest, least expensive way to go about this. The other possibility is artificial insemination, which does cost a lot more and might not work on the first try, but it might make things less awkward with you and your surrogate," the agent explained as Clay opened the book.

"And these are all women interested in traditional surrogacy?" Haley asked. She was like the legal advisor to this. After all, she did grow up with two lawyer parents her whole life.

The woman nodded. "As you can see, some of them have already done traditional surrogacy, so a breach in the contract should be the least of your worries. Of course, there are others who are interested in both traditional and gestational surrogacy and more who have never been a surrogate. There are older and younger mothers, but age hasn't really changed the success rate. Some have children of their own."

"And these are their interests and facts about them?" Clay asked as he read about one mother who graduated from NYU with degrees in engineering and physics, was a piano prodigy who played since the age of four, and also enjoyed playing tennis. She was followed by another who was originally from Ukraine and earned her BA in psychology, who was now working as a child associate.

The agent nodded. She looked over the edge of the book.

"I've gotten the opportunity to meet Valeria. She's a very sweet girl," she commented, pointing towards the page with a dirty blonde.

Haley and Clay both looked over at the page. The woman was _stunning._ She had high cheekbones, porcelain skin, dirty blonde shoulder-length waves, and beautiful turquoise eyes. Upon reading her vitals and extra information, they learned that she was 5'6", twenty-seven years old (just seven years older than Haley and five years older than Clay), had no children of her own and was interested (exclusively) in traditional surrogacy. They also discovered that she graduated at the top of her class at NYU, had a passion for music and the arts, and was now living in Tree Hill. She was of Italian, English, and Danish descent (a rather odd mix which wasn't so odd the more you thought about it, Haley realized).

"She's gorgeous," Haley commented.

Clay couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about this. But Haley was there to reassure him. "You should give her a call, Clay," she persuaded.

The agent smiled, trying to further encourage him.

* * *

Later, as Rachel and Brooke were driving back to Tree Hill at night, they were so happy for their friends.

"I am so happy for them!" Brooke said, not even trying to contain her huge smile.

"I love Nathan's idea. Oh my God, Haley's is going to love it!" Rachel agreed excitedly.

* * *

Haley couldn't help but feel really accomplished later on that night when she got home to the apartment.

Clay had Valeria's phone number and was now going to call her, hoping to meet sometime soon. Haley was happy and hoped this would work out for him (and yes, partially for selfish reasons, like so he would stop asking her to be a surrogate).

After a very relaxing bath (which Haley oh-so desperately needed), Haley settled into bed. She was so comfortable that she could just sit there forever.

Her cell phone began to vibrate beside her. She quickly answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey. I'm glad to hear that you're still breathing."

Haley smiled when she heard her boyfriend's voice on the other end of the line. "Somehow, I managed to get through the day without you by my side," she said.

"I'm sorry I had to leave, again. I'll be back by the weekend," he promised.

She nodded. "I know you have to work, I just…I want to keep you to myself sometimes," she confessed. "And besides that, you're like…a relaxant for me. You helped calm me down. I'm going to be a ball of nerves by the time you get back," she said, biting her lip.

"Well, I'll gladly help you unwind."

Haley laughed. She absentmindedly reached her hand out to his side of the bed. "You know, I'm going to get really lonely tonight without you here to hold me. I might have to sleep on your side of the bed. I might even have to sleep in one of your shirts," she said.

"It wouldn't be the first time," he replied.

She sighed. "Just please, come home as soon as you can."

"I will. I just have to finish getting some things sorted out and ready for the future owners of the house," he replied.

She thought about the new owners enviously. Nathan told them that it was a couple who were hoping to move in together before they got married.

_They _were probably in his apartment together, talking about their wedding. _I wish he could just be here with me, _she thought bitterly, drifting off into her own thoughts.

"Hey, Hales?" he asked. She snapped back into reality. "I have to go, but I love you. I'll be home soon."

"Okay, I love you, too."

* * *

Haley walked arm-in-arm with Peyton to the upscale cake shop in Tree Hill where they would be trying wedding cakes

"Where is Prince Charming?" Haley asked as they both sat down and Peyton smoothed out the cloth napkin on her lap.

Haley took a sip of water from the clear water glass. "He's coming. He had to meet someone, then he said that he and Lucas were coming," she answered.

"Have you thought at all of what kind of cake you want?" Haley asked.

Peyton shook her head. "I probably won't care as much as Jake. He's going to enjoy it a lot more than me."

"Okay. After you taste all of the flavours, you and Jake are going to go look at the displays that the store designed for me. Keep in mind the aesthetics for the date, Peyt," Haley reminded her.

Peyton was about to reply, but before she could, Jake and Lucas entered. She immediately got up to hug Lucas and Jake.

"Did we miss anything?" Lucas asked, looking around at all of the displays.

"No, Luke. You didn't miss any cake," Haley answered with a slight eye-roll.

Before any more snide remarks could be exchanged, a petite brunette who Haley assumed was one of the bakers came out with the first round of cake. She handed out four small plates to the four of them.

"This is the regular white cake," she explained.

Peyton lifted a small piece of the cake to her lips. She tasted it. It was delicious.

"What do you think?" Haley asked.

"It's really good," Peyton offered before finishing the small portion of the cake.

A younger boy who looked about in his teens came out carrying four more plates and handed them to the brunette. He took their plates as they finished.

"Okay, now the next one is the dark chocolate cake," she said.

Peyton took a bite. She thought that if heaven had a flavour, this was it. "This is amazing," she commented.

"I love it," Haley agreed.

* * *

About three rounds of cake later, they were finished.

"Which ones did you like the most?" Haley asked curiously. Peyton turned to Jake.

"I liked the chocolate and that French vanilla cheesecake one," she said. He nodded in agreement.

"They told me that they can make a layer cake with multiple flavours," Haley told them.

"Really, Hales? That's perfect," Peyton said without thinking about him for a moment. "Jake?"

He nodded again. "Whatever you want, Peyton."

"Cake is cake," Lucas chimed in from behind Haley.

"Men are so easy," Haley mumbled under her breath so only Peyton could catch it.

"Would you like to come look at the displays now?" the brunette inquired before leading the four of them to an adjacent room, where there were several displays of fake (but exquisite) cakes.

Peyton looked at all of them, and suddenly, she got this nostalgic feeling, bringing her back to when she was about nine years old, walking in front of bakeries and being amazed at the flawless, colourful displays in the front of the small stores.

Almost immediately, she was drawn to one beautiful display in particular. She led Jake over to this beautiful three-tier cake. It was covered in chocolate fondant, hand-painted with a beautiful silver design, adorned with white edible ribbon. The most marvellous thing, however, was the beautiful red rose on the top of the cake. There were small silver edible pearls near it, but the colour of the cherry red rose was the star of the cake.

"What do you think of this one?" she asked.

But really, she didn't have to ask. Her pleading, large green eyes said it all. How could he say no to her?

"It's beautiful. I think we should get it," he said, knowing that was what she wanted to hear.

She broke out into the widest of smiles before kissing him on the cheek. Haley and Lucas quickly walked over.

"So is this the one, then?"

* * *

Peyton sat, scrutinizing the bouquets and centrepieces Haley had given her pictures of. It was amazing how perfect the flowers were. She remembered there was a reason that she had put Haley in charge of this all.

Just as she was getting lost in her own thoughts, she felt strong arms wrap around her.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at the pictures Haley sent me of the centrepieces," she answered. "What do you think?"

"I think…Haley's doing an amazing job," he answered. "And I think that maybe we can take some time off from thinking about the wedding," he said.

I looked at him with a small smile. "And how do you suppose we do that?" she asked, flirting innocently.

"I have a few ideas."

She couldn't help but smile brightly. She let him bring her back to the bedroom.

She slid back onto the bed. Jake kissed her on the cheek tenderly. She smiled before kissing him on the lips. She could almost feel the colour rise to her cheeks. She just felt so beautiful around him in a way nobody ever made her feel before.

He unzipped her dress achingly slowly. As she watched the white gauzy material fly to the ground, she felt freer.

She unbuttoned his shirt while kissing him gingerly on the lips. As she pushed the material off of his body, she began to blush at the sight of his half-naked body.

Before she could comment on anything, he kissed her on the lips. She began to pull off his pants, even though she found it rather difficult considering how preoccupied she was.

As soon as she was lying down on the bed, she pulled away for a minute so she could look into his beautiful blue eyes.

His thumb brushed her cheek very softly. "I love you so much," he said.

"I love you, too," she said before pulling him closer to her once more.

* * *

"You look horrible," Peyton said when Haley answered the door the next morning.

Haley groaned in response. Anna just trotted in, not even acknowledging Haley's appearance. Peyton walked in, following her little daughter. She looked Haley over again.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked.

Haley sighed. "I don't think I've slept in the last two or three days due to Clay's surrogacy and planning your wedding, plus lack of sleep and wine is not a good combination," she explained before sitting down and resting her head on the counter.

"Did you eat anything?" Peyton asked.

Haley just shook her head. More she thought about it, she couldn't remember the last meal she had eaten in the last two or three days.

Peyton shook her head in disapproval. "That's not good, Hales. I'm going to make you lunch, okay? Haley?"

Peyton walked over to Haley, who looked to be knocked out cold. Peyton nudged her. Haley groaned and looked up at Peyton.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Haley said before putting her head back down.

"I think you already are," Peyton said before getting out all of the things she needed to make Haley something that would (hopefully) make her feel better. "Anna, where did you go?" Peyton yelled.

Haley yelped. "Peyton! Do you have to be so loud?" she asked.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "I'm doing you a favour."

Anna walked back out. She finally noticed Haley. "Auntie?" she asked, taking in how horrible Haley looked.

"Anna, Auntie Haley isn't feeling too well, so you and Mommy are going to be taking care of her today, okay?" Peyton asked.

Anna nodded. Peyton smiled at her little girl. Anna toddled over to Peyton as she opened various ingredients to start making lunch for Haley.

Haley on the other hand, I wasn't thinking of eating at all. She just felt nauseous and light-headed. And with everything going on…

A familiar feeling overcame her before she rushed into the bathroom.

"Haley!"

Haley couldn't really respond. She had that sickening feeling one gets when they throw up without anything actually in their stomach.

She heard Peyton enter the bathroom, little footsteps following her. "Haley, are you okay? Do I need to take you to the hospital?" she asked.

* * *

Haley woke up again to the harsh, bright lights of the hospital. She shook her head, not enjoying this sensation very much.

She sat up and saw Brooke, Peyton, and Anna there. Anna was squirming in Peyton's arms.

"What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" she asked.

"You were really dehydrated and malnourished. The doctor asked me to shove that food down your throat if you refuse to eat it," Brooke said, pointing to a tray of cold hospital food and disgusting looking Jell-O.

Haley winced. "Do I really have to eat that?" she asked.

Brooke sighed. "That is what I said. I told them that if I were you and I had to shove that green Jell-O down my throat, I'd probably puke on their shoes," she said.

"That is why we thought ahead and brought you Chinese food," Peyton said, nodding towards a brown paper bag with a plastic bag around it.

"How'd you sneak that in?" Haley asked.

"We didn't have to sneak it. They thought you'd refuse to eat the hospital food, and we told them Chinese was your favourite and you'd definitely eat it. I guess they decided that you're thin enough, so a little MSG and sodium wouldn't hurt you too much."

Haley smiled. "Thank you."

Her smile faded when she thought of something else. She began to chew her lip. "Did either of you call Nathan?"

"The doctors called him since he's your emergency contact. When Peyton called me, Luke called Nathan. Nathan said that he's coming home later to see you. He was really worried," Brooke said.

"Did Lucas tell him I was fine?"

Brooke nodded. "But you know Nathan. He's a golden retriever, so he was naturally worried anyway," she answered with a shrug.

Haley nodded as Peyton brought her the tray of food. She supposed seeing Nathan under these circumstances was better than having to wait longer.

"Thank you," Haley said to Peyton.

* * *

Haley opened her eyes to see single white tuberose and a single white Star of Bethlehem beside her. She smiled seeing it. She knew who had visited her.

"Nathan," she sighed happily before lifting them up and bringing them to her nose to sniff them.

"You're awake," a familiar voice said behind her.

She sat up, propping herself on the flimsy, irritating pillows the hospital gave her. She smiled when she saw Nathan sitting next to her bed, in front of the window.

"Hey," she said happily. "How long have you been here?"

He thought about it. "Like an hour, maybe. I've been keeping you company. You look so beautiful when you sleep," he said before taking her hand. "You look beautiful all the time. You just look so peaceful when you're sleeping."

"I'm so glad you're here," Haley told him.

"I'm glad I'm here, too. Peyton and Brooke told me about what happened. Haley, you have to eat and drink a lot of water. And sleep is always a good thing. I know you're hooked on caffeine, but it doesn't act as a substitution for sleep," Nathan scolded.

Haley sighed. "I know, but I…I'm sorry," she said finally.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you. But you can't do that again, Haley," he repeated.

She avoided looking at him. "Do you know when I can go home?"

"The doctor actually said that he just has to come back with the results of one test and if it's fine, we can go."

"So, did you get a chance to show the couple the house?" Haley asked as she started to suck the salt off of pretzels.

"Yes. They really liked the house," he answered.

She smiled, proud of him. "I knew they would. Your designs are amazing, Nathan."

"Hales," he said, rather concerned. "You know that licking the salt off of pretzels doesn't count as eating, right?" he inquired.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I just can't stomach any food right now. Thinking of eating is making me feel nauseous," she said.

"That's not good. Why?"

She shrugged. "I think I'm just so nervous about Peyton's wedding."

That started to make him feel nervous. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"

She shook her head. "No. Never," she assured him softly. "I'm just nervous that something is going to go very wrong," she thought aloud.

"Hey, nothing is going to go wrong. Why are you so nervous? I'm sure Peyton and Jake have loved what you've done so far. I mean I would too. You're pretty badass you know Haley James? Plus I love you,"

She nodded. "Well, you don't have to tell me twice. I know they will be happy with the final outcome it just that…I don't have a good history with weddings, Nathan," she explained.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about Hales. I'm not Clay," he reminded her.

She nodded. "I know, but…I…it's just unsettling. And the closer and closer the date gets, the more I think something is going to go wrong," she said, trying to take more deep, settling breaths.

"I think you just need to take your mind off of things for the day, Haley. It's not healthy for you to be so stressed out over the wedding. Let me take you out later," he said finally.

She looked up at him, kind of taken aback. "Kind of like a date night?" she asked.

He smiled. "Exactly like a date night. We can do whatever you want, as long as you get your mind off of things. I don't want you to get this stressed," he told her.

She finally let herself smile.

* * *

Haley sat across from Nathan. This was all oddly unfamiliar territory.

"Haley?" Nathan asked, interrupting the silence in her mind.

"Yeah?"

"I know this sounds weird, considering we've been dating for about ten months and I should know you better than the back of my hand, but I just feel like…I want to know you better now."

She was intrigued by this proposal. "What do you want to know?"

He shrugged. "Everything."

She couldn't help it; she let out a small giggle. "Well, my name is Haley Bob James…"

"I knew that," he interrupted.

"Um…my favourite colour is red, more specifically, the colour of cherry wood…I'm five-foot-three…and…I like roses?" she tried.

He rolled his eyes. "Nice try, Haley, but I already knew all of that. Tell me something you think I might not know. Dreams, fears, weird things about you?"

Haley thought about it for a moment. "I have really bad cleisiophobia, along with autophobia, which is just as bad," she explained.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "You know I don't know what that is, right?"

She laughed. "Cleisiophobia is the fear of being locked in a small, enclosed space. That started after you made me watch that Hitchcock double feature," she added. "And autophobia is the fear of being alone," she explained somewhat sadly.

Her skin tingled a little when she felt his hand cover hers in an attempt to soothe her. "Is that why it was really hard for you when I was away?"

She nodded. She shook her head, shaking out the bad thoughts. "As for dreams, I always dreamt as a little girl that I could get a kitten or a puppy, but my parents would never let me. My dad said that pets were a nuisance, while my mom said she didn't have time to keep up with a dog. But my biggest dream has always been to be a musician you know and go on sold-out tours. I don't know something about that is so liberating to me, but it's just a dream so," she said.

He nodded. "Anything else I should know?" he asked.

Haley bit her lip. "I have this condition called Synesthesia which makes me associate certain colours with certain letters."

"How come you never told me?"

Haley shrugged. "I guess that since I've been living with it for so long, I don't even notice anymore. I don't think about it. I still like reading."

"It doesn't give you a headache?"

She smiled while rolling her eyes. "Stop it. No, I'm perfectly fine when reading. It actually helps because then, I don't just skim over everything. I actually have to read all the words."

He nodded.

"Okay, so now I get to know about you," she said, setting down her glass of wine. "I want to know everything."

He shrugged. "I don't know what I haven't told you. I'm either really boring or just really honest."

She laughed. "I vote for both." She looked at him with a small smirk on her face. "Just kidding. I know for a fact that you're not _at all_ boring," she said before taking another sip of wine. "But really? No real fears or dreams? No weird things about you I should know before we get engaged?"

"I think you know everything about me," he said.

She pouted. "There has to be at least _something _about you…" she trailed off. She piped up. "Not even a weird sexual fantasy or something?"

He had no words to answer.

"Hmm. I should've known you were too clean for that kind of stuff. Maybe you _are _too boring," she joked.

He rolled his eyes. "Like you could come up with any better," he retorted.

She thought about it. "I think I might surprise you," she answered.

He scoffed. "You? You're so clean-cut and innocent-looking. I could never picture you as—"

"People surprise you."

* * *

Haley lay down in bed on her stomach as she waited for her boyfriend to get out of the bathroom so they could go to bed. She was lying on the bed the wrong way, going across the large mattress with her feet and arms hanging off the bed.

This was strangely comforting for her.

She was falling asleep when she heard the door creak open. She barely batted an eye at it, though. Her eyes remained closed as she felt someone sit on the bed beside her.

"Are you sleeping, Hales?"

She groaned in response. "I wish I was," she answered.

She felt a hand on her back now. "Do you feel better?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Yeah, I do," she said finally.

The hand travelled lower down her back. Then, she felt lightly callused fingers inch up underneath her shirt. She felt herself tense up.

"Are you getting more stressed?"

"Nathan…stop it," she mumbled half-heartedly. "I just want to sleep," she moaned as she sat up and faced him. Then be the first time she had her eyes open since he got out of the shower, she finally took notice of how he was only wearing a towel. Water droplets still clung to his shoulders and his abdomen.

"Ugh, you're seducing me again, aren't you?" she asked, unenthused.

"I'm not seducing you!" he replied indignantly. "What is with you always thinking I want to jump your bones?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…I get that vibe from you," she said finally.

She stood and pulled back the covers so she could lie in bed. He came back out, wearing a shirt (much to her dismay).

"There, is that better?" he asked.

She pouted. "No."

"I can't win, can I?" he inquired.

She just shook her head, pulling back the covers on his side of the bed so he could be next to her. "Just come over here," she whined.

He lay down in bed next to her. Her hand quickly made its way to his skin. He felt her get the shirt off of him rather slowly.

"And you're not trying anything?" he inquired, not so convinced.

She burrowed her head into the space between his shoulder and his head. "No. It's just more comfortable this way," she sighed.

He wriggled out of her trap and rolled over to face her. He took her hand. "Twenty more days?" he asked, kissing her on the hand.

She sighed, taking a deep breath and nodding. "Yes," she mumbled quietly.

"And then you'll be done with wedding planning, and we can start planning for our wedding someday, besides I think Mrs. Haley James _Scott_ has a nice ring to it," he added excitedly before pecking her on the lips.

She smiled. "I can't wait," she whispered before kissing him back.

* * *

_What do you guys think is Nathan's secret that Rachel & Brooke know about? __Okay, so on the grounds of not incriminating myself, I refuse to say anything about the state of my writing this story. I apologize for the lack of Brucas and Jeyton I am working on those chapters as we speak, this story has been time-consuming, to say the least. I also apologize for the pace of this story, and that we're still in the past but promise we'll get to the present quicker. After chapter 22, they will be an eight-month time jump just to get the story moving quicker._

_**Guest:** Thank you that was very kind of you to say. I had a great time on my Florida trip, but as the saying goes, the home is where the heart is, so I am glad to be back. I am glad you enjoyed the little bit of Taylor we got the last chapter. I do agree that her storyline would have been a lot more compelling to watch in the later seasons. I think I would've liked to see her deal and come to terms with her mother's death, find a stable/healthy relationship, bond with Jamie and Lydia etc. Although Quinn wasn't necessarily entirely bad I just felt like a lot of her storyline with Clay and herself were boring, pointless, and filler for sure. _

_**sandygirl:** I hope things are okay with you, and you're recovering well. I do enjoy everyone as well, I think it adds a cool dynamic to the story by talking about everyone. I hope you don't hate me so much for the lack (thereof) of everyone in this chapter, more of that will be coming really soon! Lindsey is a big bitch and Clay is whiny, know it all and an idiot (not surprising, to say the least.) Those two would be good for each other! _

_**dianehermans**: thank you glad you enjoyed it! _

_**Guest:** No. I didn't take it from anywhere else. Long story short, I had a friend who reached out via PM on this site. She was interested in me writing a brucas scene for her a while ago when I had not begun writing. She had messaged my old account (Sidney4522) o get inspiration from as she was stuck on hers so I drafted that scene as inspiration let her look at it to get some ideas and see where she wanted to take the story. I find out she actually cut and paste the entire scene I wrote which bothered me a little, but she refused to credit me and the idea originally belonged to her which wasn't true. I was actually going to use this scene in a Brucas story that never got completed and now people believe she wrote it as her story was published long before mine that was a while ago. So, overall it was a shitty situation and I don't advise anyone to do this until you weren't a dumb naive sixteen years old. I hope that answered your question. BTW, I was not deleting your comments they did not get posted, and two my moderate guest reviews are on so it probably got sent to spam. _

**_thibbs65: _**_Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed that chapter. Yes, it was finally time for Nathan to meet the James Family, speaking of Taylor's husband you don't need to worry about who he is as his character is not relevant to this story, but if you'd like to know whether it's anyone from OTH universe it is not. It's just random, redundant, boring vanilla dude. Rachel is a good friend who always has her friend's best interest in mind. Pardon my language, but she's that bitch! A ride or die for sure! __ Lindsey and Clay honestly do deserve each other as they are cynical and a little bit crazy. I should have made Lindsey Clay's surrogate! That would have made for an interesting storyline, maybe I will incorporate something with the both of them soon, just got to figure out what. I agree cheating is never okay, and the worst thing to do to someone. NEVER DO IT. It only causes pain, heartache, trust and commitment issues, and anger/resentment/bitterness in the end but I am the same way with my boyfriend if he cheats I will be kicking his ass to the curb. LOL! _

* * *

_I'm crying now on my computer! But not really! I'm just dreading this Latin test tomorrow, I promise. With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, hopefully, soon._

_P.S, in case anyone was wondering, 3rd declension is: various, is, i, em, e, es, um, ibus, es, ibus, third declension. And 2nd (normal) is: us, i, o, um, o, i, orum, is, os, is. And 2nd declension (neuter) is: um, i, o, um, o, a, orum, is, a, is. And 1st declension is: a, ae, ae, am, a, ae, arum, is, as, is, that's first declension._

_Thanks for reading! Until next time, bye!-**Sidney**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N:** Hello everyone, just popping in to remind everyone of their ages. All of them expect Clay and Rachel are 22. Rachel is 24, and Clay is 23. That's all! Oh, and the Jeyton wedding will be coming up really soon, and let's just there will be MAJOR DRAMA that goes down, you don't want to miss it! __ Thank you for all the reviews! Enjoy! _

* * *

_"Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith, and in belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life has." _

_– Lucas Scott_

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**February 15, 2007**

Peyton overlooked the list as she sat across from Brooke and the very pregnant Rachel. "The three of us are doing all of this?"

"By 'the three of us,' I hope you mean you, Brooke, and Lucas," Rachel said before taking a piece of bread from the basket in front of her.

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows. "I just assumed you were helping us, too. I mean, you're here."

"Brooke just brought me along because everyone is nice to pregnant women and they usually let us cut the wait for a restaurant."

Brooke nodded. "I think it's something with not wanting her to go into labour or something," she answered. "Whatever. It works for me," she added with a shrug.

"Okay…" Peyton trailed off. She shook her head. "So we're going to do all of these things two days before the wedding?"

Brooke nodded. "Please. I need your help."

Peyton sighed but nodded. "Fine, I'll do it."

They both turned to look at Rachel. "So when are you due?"

Rachel thought about it for a moment. "Ten more days. Hopefully, the baby will be born by your wedding Peyton, because I don't want to go into labour at their wedding."

Brooke laughed. "What a way to steal the spotlight from Peyton and Jake," she agreed with a laugh.

"Not my idea of a fun night. But I guess then, Jake could never forget their anniversary."

Brooke thought of it. "Who do you think is going to be the first one to forget any important milestones for them, like their anniversary? Haley or Nathan?"

"Haley," Peyton answered.

"Nathan," Rachel said at the same time.

"Interesting. I don't think they'll forget at all," Brooke answered.

"I can just picture Haley getting really stressed out and forgetting all about it, and then Nathan would be so sweet and say that it's fine, so she has to make it up in a big way the next year," Peyton explained.

Rachel piped up. "Dean can't even remember what he had for breakfast yesterday. I won't be surprised if he forgets our anniversary. If Nathan is like Dean, then I'm going with Nathan," Rachel answered.

* * *

Haley paced back and forth in the room with the paintings nervously. The only sounds she heard were the sounds of her feet pacing the floor and her rapid heartbeat.

She looked at all of these paintings and scrutinized them all. _Something _just didn't feel right. She felt sick, from nerves, most likely.

Her OCD was certainly acting up, along with her anal-retentiveness, making it hard for her to ignore that something was off about all these paintings. She could've _sworn_ they were in different places, looked different, or were in different colours. She faintly recognized them all, but at the same time…they were all foreign.

She stared at one particular painting.

"Haley?"

She stared at it for a moment more before turning away and exiting the room. She walked out to the kitchen and sat at the island.

"Are you okay? You've been acting like yourself and not at all these last few days I've been back," he said to her.

She thought about it. Well, at least someone else noticed it, too. "I don't know. I feel strange. It's kind of like…I'm here and I'm not. But I guess that's better than constantly stressing out over the wedding," she said dismissively.

"Do you feel sick? Besides whatever it is you're feeling, I mean."

She didn't answer. "I'm feeling sick to my stomach now, but it's nerves. Nathan, I promise I'm fine," she said dismissively before attempting to walk off.

She was trapped, however, in between his arms. "You know I can tell when you're lying. What's really wrong here?"

She sighed. "I'm sure nothing is wrong. I think I just need to go to sleep and see if I feel any better later."

* * *

Haley peeked out of the bedroom as she watched the front door close. She took a deep breath and exited the room. She was fairly sure Nathan hadn't forgotten anything, so she was free to speak. She picked up the phone and called the only person she really felt she trusted with this huge possible secret.

She dialled Brooke's number.

"Hello?"

Haley paused before responding. "Brooke?" she asked weakly. "I think I need to tell you something. It's important," she said simply.

Still, Brooke, being her best friend, could tell something was really pressing on Haley's mind.

"Okay. I'll be over as soon as I can."

"You don't have to rush, B," Haley insisted.

But Brooke knew something was up. She completely ignored Haley's pleas.

* * *

Brooke was over within half an hour. "What was so urgent that you needed to talk about?" Brooke asked as she sat down at the island in the kitchen.

Haley walked back and forth before going into the refrigerator. She took out the lemonade she had made about two days ago. "Do you want some?" she asked, avoiding the question.

Brooke glared at her. "Haley, you're not going to make me corner you and ask, are you? What was up with you before? And why are you acting so weird now?"

Haley bit her lip as she turned to get two glasses. "I don't know how to tell you this, Brooke," she said before setting down two blue-rimmed glasses.

"Just spit it out! You'll feel so much better once you have," she insisted.

Haley sighed. "I think I might be pregnant...again."

Brooke's eyes widened. Out of everything, Brooke _wasn't _expecting that. Cold feet, maybe. But pregnancy? That seemed totally off, though, in retrospect, it probably made more sense than cold feet.

"Have you talked to Nathan about this?"

Haley just shook her head. "I don't know how. I haven't taken a test or anything but I'm thinking with feeling so nauseous all the time and getting kind of moody…it makes sense," she answered

"You need to tell him what you think."

"But I'm scared about this. What if he decides this isn't what he wanted after all?"

Brooke gave Haley an unenthused look. "Hales, Nathan would want you, no matter what. A baby _that's his_, no less, wouldn't change anything," she reminded Haley.

Haley sighed. "You don't know that!"

"I know everything! You may be smart, but your logic and social skills are lower than Patrick Star's IQ. Listen; I will take you to the clinic. You should still tell him," the brunette insisted.

Haley sighed. She hated knowing she was wrong.

"Haley, I promise you, if you are carrying his child, he'll only love you more. Guys who aren't scumbags get so excited about stuff like this. I mean, you remember how Jake got after Peyton found out she was pregnant, right?" Brooke asked.

Haley sighed. "Yeah, I do. But what if…this wasn't what he agreed to? I mean, he knew he was marrying me. He wasn't really asking for an instant family. And honestly, what if I don't want to have a baby right away?"

"Do you think Peyton and Jake really wanted a baby? No. Anna was conceived by accident. But she's the best accident ever and look at how happy they are now," Brooke said.

Haley frowned. She didn't know how to answer. Brooke knew she had gotten Haley.

"So, when are we going?"

* * *

Haley sat anxiously in the office of her OB/GYN with Brooke. They had been waiting only about ten minutes for the result of the urine pregnancy test, but it might as well have been hours.

Finally, they heard the door open and both snapped up from their respective ways of calming their nerves.

"Well, you're definitely not pregnant," the doctor announced.

Haley let out a tiny sigh of relief, but part of her wondered if this was what she really wanted. Brooke just looked over at her friend.

"Was that the answer you wanted?" she asked.

Haley shrugged. She didn't know what the answer was at the moment.

* * *

The first five minutes of the car ride back to Haley's apartment was dead silence. Finally, Brooke broke the silence.

"Are you getting cold feet, Haley?" she inquired nervously.

Haley sighed. "I don't think so," she said. Her voice was still laced in uncertainty.

"Okay, Nathan is not Clay, Hales. He isn't going to betray you. Is that why you're so on-edge?"

The brunette just shook her head. "No, not really. I just don't really know how to feel about not being pregnant. On one hand, I'm relieved because it gives me and Nathan more time to be a couple before we turn into a family, but…"

"…But you still want more children," Brooke finished for her friend. "It's okay to want more children, Haley. You don't have to want it all _now_. If it were me, I'd wait until maybe one or two years into being married before trying to have any more kids. What's the rush? You're not even thirty let alone twenty-five yet, Haley."

Haley thought about it for a minute before nodding. "You know what, Brooke? You're right. I should just enjoy being with Jamie for now."

"Yeah, and maybe you're just feeling this way because you see Rachel and Dean and they look all happy and everything. Maybe you just have baby fever or something," Brooke suggested. "After all, weren't you the one who told me you weren't ready?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"For now, just enjoy the alone time you have with Nathan and Jamie. And besides, wouldn't you rather keep your little midnight romps secretive?"

"Obviously, they're not that secretive if you know about them."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. For now, practice baby-making must be a lot more thrilling for you than actual baby-making," she teased.

Haley just laughed and shook her head.

* * *

Haley led Brooke into the room with the blue walls and her own personal impressionistic paintings.

"Is it just me, or is something different about this room?" Haley asked as she looked around.

"God, Haley. I don't know! I don't take inventory in your paintings or whatever. Shouldn't you be doing that?" the brunette asked.

Haley pouted. "Something about these paintings is rubbing me the wrong way. I know something's off."

"If you ask me, your OCD is acting up and you should probably go back on the pill," Brooke said before exiting the room.

"What pill?"

"I don't know! Xanax or horse tranquillizers or whatever it is that makes you chill out? Like, I really thought you had ADD or ADHD when I met you. All of this stress is not going to be kind to your skin or your hair or eyes or anything for that matter. Peyton and Jake are getting married in less than two weeks and the last thing you need is to break out from stress. Just relax," Brooke said before taking a sip of wine.

Haley was about to dispute with that comment, but the door opened before she got the chance to. Lucas and Nathan walked into the apartment.

"Hey," Nathan said to both of them before kissing Haley on the cheek. "Where were the both of you all day? We tried calling you like ten times," he added.

"Hey, Nathan? Don't go all Haley on your girlfriend. Being paranoid and clingy when she feels like it is her thing," Brooke quipped.

Haley rolled her eyes and turned to Nathan and Lucas. "What happened?"

"Rachel had the baby," Lucas finally announced.

Both Haley and Brooke were taken by surprise.

Haley was the first to speak. "Really? Did you guys just go to see her?"

Lucas shook his head. "No. Dean told us that she's in a lot of pain right now and doesn't really want to see anyone, but she'll be out of the hospital by next week and she'll be fine by the wedding, he hopes."

Haley furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "Next week? They usually discharge mothers after like two or three days at least that's what happened in my case. What happened?"

"She started bleeding a lot. The doctors said something happened to her placenta—"

"Placental abruption?" Haley interrupted. "It's something that causes a woman to bleed a lot and it can be really serious," she elaborated.

Nathan gave Haley an odd look before going on. "Dean didn't tell us everything, but we just know he's pretty worried and kind of wanted some space," Nathan answered. "I think he said they might need to give her a blood transfusion or something, so I guess it's serious."

"Oh my God," Brooke uttered in shock.

Haley frowned. "Do you think he'll be okay to talk later?"

"Maybe not, but I'm sure Rachel will. And at this point, it doesn't look like Dean is planning on leaving her side for the time being," Nathan added.

* * *

Haley laid in bed with her black silk robe on. She grabbed her phone off the bedside table to call Dean.

"Hello?"

She winced. "Dean, you sound exhausted. Are you at the hospital?" Haley asked gently. Nathan, who had gotten out of the shower about ten minutes prior, walked in and slid next to Haley. He immediately took an interest in this conversation. Haley quickly brought the phone away from her ear and put it on speaker so he could hear.

"Yeah, I'm here. Rachel is right next to me."

They both heard faint mumbling on Dean's end of the line, with him responding something they couldn't quite make out.

"She…she wants to talk to you," he said finally.

"Hey, Hales," Rachel said. She sounded like her old self, but with a bit less energy.

"Hey, Rachel. Are you feeling okay?" Haley inquired nervously.

She scoffed. "Yes. I promise I'm fine. Just because my name is Rachel doesn't mean that I'm made of glass…contrary to what my husband thinks," she insisted. "Whatever lies he told you to make you pity me, I'm sure they aren't true."

"So you didn't need a blood transfusion?" Haley asked.

"No. Though, the doctor did look like he was wearing a lot of blood after delivering the baby," she commented.

"How is the baby?" Nathan asked finally.

Rachel gave a small sigh of happiness. "She is doing perfectly fine. They had to take her to the NICU because they thought there may have been some complications or an infection, but the doctor told me that she's doing well and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her."

Haley couldn't help but smile at the happiness in Rachel's voice. "So it's a girl then? Did you name her yet?" she asked excitedly.

"No, not yet. She's supposed to get out of the NICU in a little bit and then we can name her. And don't listen to Dean; the doctor said that I look fine and should be discharged within two days; three at the very most," she promised.

* * *

"Can I hold her? Can I hold her? Can I hold her?" Brooke asked excitedly at a million miles per minute.

Rachel laughed. "I don't know, Brooke. Are you going to lick her face and start chewing up the shoes?" she joked.

Brooke shook her head. Her brown eyes pleaded with Rachel.

Rachel finally caved and allowed Brooke to hold her baby.

Haley walked over to the table, putting down the small snacks she brought over for Rachel, Brooke, and herself.

"Look at you, Suzy Homemaker," Rachel commented jokingly as Brooke fawned all over the baby.

"Not yet, but I will be," she retorted. "You didn't introduce me!" she exclaimed as she tried to catch a peek at the baby.

"Her name is Delilah," Rachel said as she watched Brooke with Delilah. "You know, out of everyone, Brooke was not the one I expected to be so good with children," she added.

Haley laughed. "Let me see her, Brooke."

Brooke slowly (and reluctantly) gave the little girl to Haley. "Don't drop her!" Brooke said protectively.

"You're telling me not to drop her the woman who's had a baby before Brooke,"

Haley just brushed her off before looking down at the little girl. She had light brown hair and large hazel eyes, nearly the same as Rachel. "She's adorable, Rach."

"You should've seen her sleeping in the hospital. I swear, Dean almost started to cry," Rachel told them.

"He's such a teddy bear," Brooke commented. Rachel just laughed.

"I know he's going to cave when she gets older and asks him for anything. I don't blame him; I probably will, too," Rachel said as she looked at her daughter.

* * *

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! What are we doing?" Anna asked as Peyton carried her.

"We're going to help Uncle Toby look for a little dog, Anna," Peyton explained.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Can we have doggy?" Anna asked excitedly, looking over at Jake.

"Maybe. That's something me and Mommy need to talk about," Jake answered.

"Uncle Nathan! Uncle Nathan! Can I have doggy?" Anna asked, turning to Nathan, her last glimmer of hope.

"You'll have to ask Mommy and Daddy, Anna," he answered.

Anna pouted before putting her head on Peyton's shoulder. "Mommy, I want doggy," she mumbled into Peyton's neck.

"Maybe another time," she said.

Anna just pouted some more. "I want doggy…" she mumbled.

The shelter director-led Nathan, Jake, Peyton, and Anna over to a section where there were some dogs. Some were older, others were younger. Some were fluffier and better groomed, others more scraggly-looking.

Peyton put Anna down and held her by the hand so she wouldn't run off and bother all the poor animals.

"We actually have a group of puppies someone reported that just came here two days ago from the animal hospital. The person who reported them to the animal hospital found them, abandoned in an alleyway in Tree Hill. The poor things. He was shocked when he saw that they were all alive. Malnourished, but they were alive," she said before bringing them to one specific cage. There were seven little puppies.

"It was a big litter," the girl explained before opening the cage. "They're bichon frise and they're all very friendly. They're great family pets," she added.

There was one auburn coloured puppy which was sleeping in the corner, with a bigger black puppy lying right beside it. There were two grey puppies and a white puppy playing with each other. They were passing around a little toy ball amongst themselves. And then, there were two cream-coloured puppies who were playing around with each other.

"None of them have names. The auburn and the black are both girls. This little grey one is a girl, and one of those cream-coloured puppies is a boy and so are the rest," she said.

The cream-coloured puppy came trotting over to Anna, who looked quite excited to see them.

"Those two are best friends. The girl looks out for her little brother; he was the smallest one of them all. He was probably in the worst shape when the hospital got them, but he's in perfectly good shape now. I'd hate to break the two of them up, though," she thought aloud.

The tiny little male puppy bumped into Anna, who giggled as it began to sniff her.

"Mommy! He likes me!" she exclaimed happily.

Peyton looked over at Jake. They were torn on what to do about this little puppy.

Meanwhile, Nathan kneeled down to where Anna was sitting. The puppy's older sister walked over curiously to him. She began to nudge him to pet her. As he began to stroke the girl's soft coat, she began to purr. When he pulled away, she barked in discontent before nudging him again.

"I think she likes you," the girl commented.

"Mommy, Daddy, Mommy! Can we keep him?" Anna asked as she looked at the cute puppy. Somehow, they couldn't find it in their hearts to say no.

On the other hand, Nathan thought he found the right kitten.

* * *

Haley looked at the calendar as she got ready to go to bed. There was only one week left before she Peyton and Jake got married.

She heard the door open outside. Still, she was frozen in place. She had a lot on her mind lately.

Nathan walked into the room.

"Can we talk?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, sitting down on their bed. Haley got up and sat down next to him. Her heartbeat quickened the more she thought about what she was about to say.

"I wanted to talk to you a little bit about the future now," she announced. When he didn't answer, she continued. "It's just…with Rachel and Peyton being pregnant and having children, I kind of wanted to know how you felt about it. If that's something you're interested in…pets…all of that."

He gave her a relieved smile. "Haley…I want everything with you. Kids, a house, a dog. I don't know how soon I want all of that, but I want it all with you. I'm looking for the day I become a husband and father. Besides, I know what an amazing mother you are and what an amazing mother you'll be. I don't think there's anything more rewarding or fulfilling. How long have you been thinking about this?" he told her.

She smiled. "I don't know, a couple weeks I guess. I just think I let the baby fever get the best of me,"

He nodded. "Okay, if you're still thinking about this in about a month then maybe we can seriously think about it."

She was relieved. "Yeah, maybe we should get a pet before we have a baby. As practice, I guess."

He laughed before giving her a kiss.

* * *

Haley stirred her coffee about fifty times. She had nothing left to nitpick when it came to the wedding. She looked up at Nathan.

"Were you serious last night about the pets and the kid talk?" she asked.

"I meant every word. Do you want a cat or a dog?"

She bit her lip like this was the hardest question in the world. "I don't know. They're both so cute. I always wanted to adopt a shelter animal, so…I like the idea of both. What about you?" she asked quickly, to take the attention off of herself.

"I like both. I think a cat might be easier at first. And cats are less prone to interrupting our time than dogs," he said with a small smile before pouring his own coffee.

She smiled and nodded in agreement. "Point taken. Maybe we could go to a shelter after we come back from Hawaii!" she suggested, her deep brown eyes lighting up in excitement.

"That sounds like a great idea, Hales."

"I hope they have a kitten there," she thought aloud.

* * *

"Haley?" Peyton asked as she led Anna into the apartment.

"Hey, Peyton!" Haley said before getting up to greet her. Anna jumped up and down excitedly. "Auntie Haley! We got doggy and Uncle Nathan got a—"

Peyton quickly clasped her hand over Anna's loose lips.

"What did Nathan get?" Haley asked curiously.

"Oh, Nathan got a crash course from the volunteers at the animal shelter on how to adopt, since he said he would probably be interested in adopting soon," Peyton lied effortlessly.

Anna frowned when her mother took her hand away from her mouth. She didn't quite enjoy the taste of cherry blossom hand lotion.

"You got a puppy?" Haley asked. She couldn't really conceal the tinge of jealousy in her voice.

"Anna's been begging us for a while now," Peyton answered before Anna got the chance to. "Do you want to see what he looks like?" she asked.

Haley nodded eagerly. Peyton fished her phone out of her bag to show her pictures of the little puppy in his cage and then some more pictures Jake sent her when he arrived home with the kitten.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay and everything before we go home. And it was on our way home from the pet store, so Jake's waiting for us to come home before he lets the baby out of the cage," Peyton said, smiling.

"Go! Make sure you take pictures for me," Haley said before leading them to the door.

Even though she tried her most to be excited for her friends and her niece, she couldn't help but wish she had a little puppy, too.

* * *

Nathan arrived home that night as Haley was sitting in their bed, thinking about the dog she'd be getting after their vacation.

"Are you okay, Haley? You look like you're stewing about something," he commented as he climbed into bed beside her.

She shrugged. "I just can't wait to get that little puppy," she said with a shrug, playing it off as if it were nothing (but it was clearly bothering her).

"Right after the vacation, Hales," he said before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She didn't reply.

"Is it really bothering you that much?"

She shook her head. "Nothing is bothering me."

"Are you jealous? Are you jealous of them getting a puppy?"

Haley shrugged. "Their dog did look pretty cute, though," she added.

He did his best to conceal a laugh at Haley's obvious jealousy. "We can get a puppy. After we come back."

She frowned for a split second before her face reverted back to a neutral expression. "Whatever. It's not a big deal," she said before turning off the light. She rolled over so her back was faced away from him.

She was _so _jealous.

And Nathan couldn't help but laugh since she was also _so _clueless.

* * *

"So the plan is, I'm going to bring the puppy over to the house when you call me later. I'm going to tie a little ribbon around her neck and leave her in your bedroom with the door closed so you can go get her," Brooke recapped as she spoke with Nathan over the phone.

He nodded. "Right."

"Oh, how I'd love to be a fly on the wall later," Brooke trailed off as she thought of the countless ways Haley would think of thanking Nathan. But then again, she thought, she didn't have a filter; she could just ask Haley herself.

"What was that?"

Brooke snapped out of it. "Oh, nothing. I'll be taking good care of Haley's little girl. Does she have a name?" Brooke asked.

"No. I was thinking of getting Haley to name her since this is kind of like my anniversary present to her," Nathan explained.

Brooke harrumphed. "Mmhmm. Along with the house. And I bet she didn't get you anything but a closet full of some nice lingerie. I'm sure you'll appreciate it thoroughly," she murmured.

"Brooke? You have little ears with you."

"The dog can't understand what I'm saying! She's as naïve as little Anna when it comes to innuendo. God, you and Haley are like our parents, and you're not even _parents _yet," Brooke complained as immaturely as a fifteen-year-old girl reprimanding her parents.

"Not yet, but tonight, we will be. To a cute little puppy, no less," he said proudly.

"You're going to be just as bad as Dean when it comes to giving in to your daughter later in life," Brooke concluded.

"Love you, too, Brooke," Nathan said merrily.

"Bye," she said playfully before hanging up.

She looked over her shoulder at the kitten sleeping on her couch. She flopped down beside her.

"I bet you're like la diabla, aren't you?" she asked. She could've sworn she saw a little smile cross the puppy's lips.

"And you're the type of puppy who climbs up the furniture and scratches everything up. I can already tell. Lucky for you, I'm like the human version of you," she said.

The puppy gave a small bark.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Brooke asked.

The puppy just stared.

Finally, Brooke realized what she was doing. "Oh my God. I must look fucking insane. I'm talking to a puppy."

* * *

"Nathan, where are you dragging me to?" Haley asked as she sat in the passenger seat of Nathan's car.

"You'll see. And Haley, you can't ask me that every five seconds."

"Well, I'm getting antsy! We've been driving for like an hour," she complained.

"You'll see very soon."

Haley rolled her eyes lightheartedly. She then saw a sign.

"Carowinds? Are you crazy?" she asked as the sign passed them by. "Neither one of us gambles or drinks nor really parties like that," she reminded him.

"Who said we're coming here to gamble or drink or party?" he asked slyly.

She was unamused. "Why else does anybody come here?" she asked.

"To go to the rides," he said.

Not more than five minutes later, she watched as he drove to the Boardwalk. She couldn't believe this was the huge date they were going on.

* * *

Haley pulled a small piece of fluffy pink cotton candy from the huge stick Nathan had gotten her.

"Is my tongue pink yet?" she asked before sticking her tongue out at him.

"Your tongue is always kind of pink, Hales," he reminded her with a laugh.

She broke out into the same kind of laughter. "I can't believe you really drove here for an hour just for this date," she said as she took another piece.

"Clearly, you're enjoying it, so it was all worth it."

All the time he was talking, she just kept wondering to herself, _how did I ever get so lucky_ and _what did I ever do to deserve him?_

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked.

She looked around her. All of the lights and the rides looked like a lot of fun, but she realized…she wanted to go home now.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready to go home."

* * *

"Okay, Diabla. You're going to behave for your new mommy and daddy soon, right? You're not going to do all those bad things, are you?" Brooke asked as she brought the kitten into the bedroom of the happy couple's future house.

The puppy just blinked her big blue eyes. She gave Brooke a small squeak of a bark.

"You're lucky you're cute," Brooke warned. "I'm sure you'll cause enough trouble. But since you have those amazing brown eyes, Haley will melt for you," Brooke said before getting some ribbon to tie around the kitten's neck.

"But I swear to God, Diabla, if you even _think _of getting your hair all over Haley's clothes that _I _picked out for her, there will be hell to pay," Brooke warned as she tied the silky champagne ribbon she found into a perfect bow.

The puppy licked Brooke on the hand and she smiled. "You're not too bad after all," she said, rethinking her nickname. "But I mean it about those clothes."

* * *

"Ugh, Nathan! Why did you have to blindfold me with your stupid tie?" she asked as she tried to get his red tie off of her head.

"No peeking!" he scolded. "Come on, Haley. It's not a surprise if you know where we're going," he insisted before turning back to the road.

"Yeah, but, this is torturous," she complained.

"We're almost there, Hales," he told her as he drove towards their destination.

She groaned. "'Almost' couldn't be soon enough!" she exclaimed in frustration.

He laughed at her. About five minutes later, he stopped. Haley was eager to tear off the tie. He pulled her hand away. A moment later, she felt someone open the door beside her. Nathan helped her get out of the car and up the steps.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"You'll find out in a minute," he told her.

She groaned. The suspense was killing her.

He found the key on his keychain and opened the door. Haley heard the keys jingle.

Once they were standing in the entrance of the house, Nathan began to untie the blindfold around her head.

Wordlessly and without explanation, Nathan stepped away with the blindfold.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"This is the house I was building…" he began before taking both of her hands. "…For the both of us. This is our new home."

Haley thought about it for a moment. She didn't know what to think and even if she should believe him.

"Do you want me to show you around?" Nathan asked, careful to contain just how excited he was. She nodded.

* * *

After he had given her a full house tour, Haley was a little less incredulous. She walked in the kitchen, still trying to wrap her head around it all.

"I still can't really believe it," she said finally. "This is so weird."

"A good weird, though, right?" Nathan asked. She nodded incessantly.

They sat and spoke for a while before Nathan remembered his final surprise.

"There's one more place we have to see," he recalled.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "We went everywhere," she disputed.

"There's one place we're missing, though," he said before taking her hand and leading her back up the stairs. They went to the far end of the hallway and Nathan stopped in front of a door. He left Haley outside for a moment to check on the puppy. Finally, he emerged outside and let Haley in.

Haley walked into the bedroom. It was so beautiful. That painting she loved so much was hanging on a wall in a beautiful hand-carved and painted frame.

"Nathan, it's so gorgeous," she uttered, unable to say anything else.

But Nathan hadn't been listening. Nathan had been in the closet getting a tiny puppy. He finally came back out with the small new member of their family.

Haley looked about ready to burst into tears. She quickly picked up the puppy.

"This is a female Bichon Frise and she needed a home and I knew you would love her," he explained as he watched his girlfriend get misty-eyed over the tiny little creature.

"Does she have a name?" she asked.

"No, she doesn't. I thought that you should name her yourself," he said with a smile.

Haley bit her lip as she thought. "What do you want to name her?" she asked.

"Haley, she's your puppy."

Haley pouted. The puppy looked at him curiously, tilting her small head. They both waited for an answer.

"Do you really want to know?"

She nodded incessantly as the puppy played with her hand.

Nathan sighed. "As girly and stupid as it sounds, I always really liked the movie 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'—"

"You're right; it does sound extremely girly," she teased.

He rolled his eyes. "—And if I got a puppy, I always wanted to name my hypothetical puppy 'dog'," he confessed.

She shook her head. "You're such a goofball. Well…I don't want to name her puppy. I can just imagine us putting up posters if she ever ran away. I can just picture us walking up and down the streets calling 'puppy' and it looks like a nightmare," she said softly as she pets the small animal.

Haley pulled the puppy closer to her as she thought. The puppy gave her a tiny bark before beginning to purr.

"I think I want to name her…Bella," she concluded. "She just looks like a Bella."

Nathan thought of it. "You're the only person I know who would name a cat something like Bella," he said with a smile on his face.

"You're the one who wanted to name her dog!" Haley retorted.

"You're such a nerd and I love you."

A slight blush crept onto Haley's face. "Really?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. Taking her free hand, he kissed her. The kiss was about to become more heated before the little kitten reminded them that she was still in Haley's hand.

"Hey, maybe we can name her Bella _dog _James Scott," she said finally.

Nathan nodded as he thought of the name. "I just realized that neither of us should be allowed to name our hypothetical child," he thought aloud.

Nathan began to laugh. "Hey! I did pretty good with Jamie's name okay? James Lucas Evans is a great name. However, our poor kids would have to live with a really horrific name for the rest of their lives. Maybe we can ask our friends who have children for a more logical name. And we should definitely avoid asking Brooke," she added.

She stared at the puppy fondly for a moment more. "I should probably put her down now, right?" she asked before placing her gently on the floor. Bella quickly jumped out of Haley's hand, stumbling across the hardwood floor. She stuck her tiny nose out of the room, looking up and down the hallway. Nathan and Haley watched her curiously. She was almost acting like a little puppy. They watched as she trotted off out of their room.

"You know that she was the best present you ever could've gotten me, right?" she asked as she put her arms around his neck and leaned back on the bed.

"Better than this house?" he asked, only slightly insulted.

"The house is beautiful, Nathan, and I know you designed it and everything, but…I've always wanted a pet and…it kind of makes me think that you're ready to start a family soon. And I think it's cute," she said.

His cheeks began to feel a bit red. "What makes you say that?" he inquired.

She shrugged. "It's just…taking care of a pet is like a step before needing to take care of a kid. It's actually really comforting knowing you're responsible enough to take care of a pet. It lets me know that you'll be able to take care of our child…when we have one," she said with a slight blush.

"Or two…or three…or four," he added.

"Two is a good number. Three is a bit much. Any more after three and you're going to need a vasectomy because I'm not living without sex," she said before kissing him.

"Are you still on the pill?" he asked, pulling away from her.

"Yeah, why?"

He pecked her softly on the lips before answering. "Because from the looks of things, we're about to start practicing making a baby…and I have no intention of stopping," he said before kissing her again.

"I'm not opposed to it," she replied. As she began to kiss him, she quickly slid back onto the bed.

They both smiled before kissing each other again. Haley wasted no time to get rid of his shirt.

"Oh, and for the record, you seduced me this time," Haley said with a small smile, referencing their disagreement which led to a food fight.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Anal-retentive…" he mumbled quietly.

She sat up abruptly. "Anal-retentive?" she asked loudly. "I am not!"

"That was the worst joke I've ever heard. Hales, you're OCD about your socks," he commented.

"I'm not OCD; you're just a slob. How can you just throw all your socks in a drawer? And you don't put them in order according to colour or style, either!" she answered indignantly.

"You're the only person I know who organizes their socks," he said before rolling off of her.

She quickly climbed on top of him. "Fine, I'll admit that I am. But can we get back to what we were doing? I enjoyed that a lot more and—"

She was quickly cut off by a kiss.

"I didn't say you aren't cute when you get into one of your little nerd-panic attacks," he announced.

She pouted. "You're adorable when you do that, too."

She thought about how to respond. "Am I adorable when I do this?" she asked before giving him a few less-than-innocent kisses.

"Hmm…I can think of a few other adjectives," he answered.

She smiled before proceeding to kiss him again. After several kisses, he pulled away from her.

"And now you're seducing me," he said with a small smirk.

She sighed. "Honestly, I don't even care anymore," she answered before kissing him again.

* * *

Haley bit her lip as she stared into Nathan's crystalline blue eyes. She remembered what home felt like.

As they continued to communicate without words, she realized something she really failed to think about this entire time.

In her previous relationships, she always kept idealizing the guy, or at the very least, she tricked herself into believing it was love.

But now, she _knew _she wasn't making it up. She _knew _this wasn't just something in her mind.

They were both interrupted by a high-pitched bark at the foot of their bed. Haley sat up and peered over the edge to see Bella looking up at her with her similar brown eyes. She wanted to come onto the bed.

Haley quickly bent over the bed (Nathan enjoying the view from behind) and pulled Bella onto the bed with them.

"This is going to sound weird, but she looks so much like you," Nathan said with a small laugh.

"Is it the eyes?" he asked.

He nodded. "I hope our kids have the same eyes," she commented.

"Are you forgetting? Bella is our daughter. So technically, they do have the same eyes," she teased, doing his best to mock her.

She wasn't very amused (well, she was, but she wasn't about to give him that satisfaction). "I see my impeccable attention to detail has rubbed off on you, along with my need to always be right," she said with a small pout as she stroked Bella, who was snuggled up in between the both of them. Her nose was buried underneath Nathan's side. Haley sighed. "She's just the cutest thing I've ever seen," she commented.

"Really? Besides me, of course," he joked.

She shook her head. "She's cuter than you," she retorted. She continued to stroke Bella's head and heard her purr into the clean white sheets. "I don't know how I'm going to leave her for a week. I couldn't even leave Jamie for a week without breaking down," Haley said.

"Brooke already promised me she could take good care of Bella. Apparently, they're good friends now. But then again, Bella's brother is at Jake and Peyton's house. And I'm sure Anna wouldn't mind having another playmate," he said.

"Don't tell Peyton or Jake this, but Bella is way cuter than their dog," Haley said.

"You're not biased at all," he answered with an undertone of sarcasm.

"She is. And she listens. It's like she's really listening to you when you talk," she said, still in a daze.

"Okay, Haley. Maybe you should put Bella down so we can go to sleep now," he said.

"Can she sleep with us?" Haley asked.

"Hales, don't be silly. I'm sure she'd be much more comfortable sleeping in a pile of your clothes or something. What if you crush her?"

Haley looked distressed by the mere thought of her new puppy getting crushed. "You're right," she said. She reached over the edge of the bed and pulled Nathan's t-shirt over her head. She went into the closet with Bella, getting a blanket of hers. She took the blanket and placed it on the floor about ten or fifteen feet away from the bed.

"Bell, why don't you sleep here tonight?" Haley asked in a high-pitched, baby-talk voice.

Bella squeaked in response. She didn't really want to leave Haley, but reluctantly made her way onto the top of the blanket. She waddled around three or four times in a circle before plopping down. She looked up at Spencer anxiously before placing her head down on the blankets.

Haley smiled as she watched Bella. When she felt that Bella felt comfortable enough, she climbed back into bed with Nathan.

Nathan kissed her on the cheek. "You're going to make an amazing mom one day... you know what you're already an amazing mom," he commented.

She blushed. "First, I want to be an amazing wife. I can focus on all of that later," she said before kissing him on the lips.

"Right now, all I want to focus on is being here, with you."

* * *

_So in case you didn't know, ya girl has a mild form of baby fever! It's been real the last few weeks lol! No, I'm not pregnant nor having a baby yet, I'm still very young only 23, but one day! __Anyway, __I have a biology exam on Monday and a history exam as well, so I'm procrastinating, especially since my bio professor decided to let my class learn the material on the test by ourselves, like, WTF? I have to learn all about cellular respiration by Monday at 8:30, which means I will probably have less than 12 hours to learn it all before this test. Great. Thank you, Ms. Thompson. I will be sure to never take your class again. If I have to take science as a senior, I will opt for Chemistry. I really could not care less about how a cell breathes. I mean I guess it would be useful for my line of work, but still. Also, I know what you guys are thinking Nathan and Haley have a house, and a dog together, are 22, and not engaged, let alone married? That is some dedication for a non-married/engaged couple. Perhaps the reason being is there might be a proposal in the works soon._

_Okay, so I'm really not supposed to still be up but I was really determined to write this for you guys. __Please, please update to let me know what you think of this all. This chapter's really really long! _

_Okay, I'm sorry, but I can't redo all of these responses all over again. I am sorry. I am just too mad and I have to go right now. So thank you for clicking on!_

_Until next time! Bye!-**Sidney**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N:** Hello everyone, I wanted to apologize for the late update. I know it's been a while. I have been busy with my last year of university. I had anticipated getting this chapter up in early November but my life has been so hectic lately. so I haven't had time to write/post the chapters for you guys as anticipated._

_This chapter is very Leyton centric, the reason for this is because we are slowly seeing Peyton's re-emerging feelings for Lucas. The downfall of her relationship with the girls. Brooke and Lucas's relationship coming to an end. Brooke does not find out about this for a while because she trusts Lucas and obviously the drama that goes down at the JEYTON wedding!_

* * *

_"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."_  
_―William Blake_

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**February 19, 2007**

When Peyton woke up in the middle of the afternoon Brooke's ass was in her face, Haley had stolen the bottom of her blanket to warm her own feet and Rachel was snoring.

She laughed at the irony. She had missed this yesterday, but right now her feet were cold, she moved away from her friend's behind, and wished she could throw a pillow at the girl two bodies' down.

She knew it was wrong to think about him, but she couldn't help it. He consumed her every thought as of late. For a moment she thought it could have all been a dream. Seeing him, being in the same room with him, hearing her nickname pour from his lips. She shivered at the sound of his voice or the memory of his voice, at least. For a while, though it was like she forgot it. She once read that voice is the first thing you lose from your memory when "forgetting" someone.

She was torn from her thoughts by a phone ringing. Brooke's phone, of course. All these years later and Brooke was still the "popular" one of the group.

The brunette rolled, effectively putting her ass in Peyton's face again, causing her to groan. "Yeah?" she answered the phone. "Peyton's. I don't know, maybe," all the girls listened in on the one-sided conversation. "Well, maybe you should have thought about that when- oh yes you did! She needs all of us right now, Lucas. I think you can deal on your own for one more night."

Peyton hated that she was causing problems for the two. She loved them both and they shouldn't be in the middle of her drama, but knew Brooke wouldn't have that. She would insert herself in it if need be, especially for her friends.

"Me neither," Brooke continued. "Yes. I said yes, didn't I? The can opener is in the drawer with- no, the one next to the sink. The other side of the sink, Luke! Yes. I'll call you later. Love you too." She groaned as she hung up. "We've lived together for months and he still doesn't know where shit is."

"Neither does Rachel," Haley spoke up.

"What? I do too!" the snorer cut in.

"How you feeling, girl?" Brooke asked, turning over to face her.

"Better if you would keep your private parts out of my face," she answered honestly. "All night it's your ass, in the morning it's your boobs. We should just call this a three-way relationship and let Lucas know I am part of the deal," she joked and all the girls laughed.

"You love it!" Brooke stated, pushing her breasts in Peyton's face. "But I always thought it would be Rachel to do that," she teased with a wink sent the girl's way.

"Oh, I'm in on it," the girl replied, lunging over Haley to attack the other two.

Haley laughed and groaned at the same time. "Now I have Rachel's vagina in my face!"

"Better tell Luke it's a fivesome," Rachel stated, moving to lay her head on Brooke's side and her legs on Haley.

Peyton smiled at her friends. "Who are we kidding, we're the foursome and he's the oddball out." All the girls nodded and laughed.

Convinced that it would make Peyton feel better after an all-day "bonding sesh" Brooke suggested they go out for an impromptu bachelorette party. Peyton surprisingly agreed. She wanted to have fun with her friends, it was their first full weekend together in forever and she could think about Jake later. In fact, she was sure she would think about Jake later, so why not try and get her mind off of it now?

She changed her mind when Brooke chose Tric—the new bar/latest place to be in town. They had come to a deal if Peyton spent an hour and a half without complaining at Tric they could go to Karen's Café afterwards and get coffee and just hang out since it was open way late on Saturdays.

It felt like college all over again. Although usually, Brooke could get Jake on her side and they would go out and she would have a great time. The only thing she was looking forward to was the alcohol. She wasn't one to drink all the time, but with her week and especially her yesterday she couldn't wait to get a few drinks in.

"This dress is horrible," Peyton insisted as they walked up to their destination.

"Was that a complaint?" Brooke questioned, turning on her.

"No!" Peyton said with wide eyes. "It's a comment because you put me in YOUR dress." Brooke disappeared for over an hour earlier in the night and came back with a gray, shimmery, faux leather dress that she insisted would look "perfect" on Peyton and she just had to try it on.

She had to admit, it did look good on her, it just wasn't something she was feeling to wear that night. The dress went mid-thigh, ruffled out in a few layers over her breasts before turning into the faux leather to go down her stomach. She left her hair down in loose curls with light, smoky makeup and gray heels.

The brunette nodded. "A dress that is too tight on me and fits you like a glove. You look amazing so shut up!"

Haley nodded. "She is right," she agreed. "I mean, you look hot."

Peyton groaned and followed her friends with a frown on her face. She didn't smile until they reached the bar and she stayed there for over half an hour before her friends decided that was not the place for her anymore.

"You sit here and we will order you a soda or something," Rachel suggested, helping Peyton up onto the high chair. "Nice job, B," she grumbled a moment later.

"What? She's happy, isn't she?" Brooke responded with a grin.

"She's three drinks away from puking all over your shoes," Haley corrected. "She's almost more of a lightweight than me."

"Almost," Peyton agreed and took another sip of her mixed drink.

"Give me that," Haley said and took the drink from her.

Peyton frowned. "Haley!" She reached for it, but Haley held it away from her.

"Geez, what is this? Straight vodka?" Haley asked after taking a whiff. Peyton shrugged with a sheepish grin. "When she is yakking tonight, you're the one taking care of her," she informed Brooke who scoffed.

"Peyton?" she heard next to her and so she turned, although much slower than usual. "Peyton, hey," the man greeted.

She smiled. "Jack! Guys, its Jack!" Peyton greeted and grabbed his arm to look through hers. "Jack, these are my guys, Brooke and Haley... there is another one, Rachel, but she went to get me something non-alcoholic to drink," she introduced.

"Jack, nice to meet you," Brooke said with a knowing smile. "I've heard a LOT about you," she insisted.

Jack turned pink and Peyton laughed. "I have too, about you, I mean. I heard about you and your boyfriend in Peyton's cabin," he joked back, fully aware of Brooke's subtle teasing

Never one to embarrass Brooke just smiled with a nod. "One of my finer moments, eh Peyton?" she asked with a wink.

Peyton grinned. "Do you wanna go get a drink with me J?" she asked, hopping down off the chair and tripped slightly, causing Jack to catch her. "My friend took mine away and hasn't come back yet."

"I- yes, sure," he answered.

She ignored Haley's tug of her other arm and went with Jack towards the bar. She didn't spot Rachel anywhere and with no one around to stop her, she ordered another mixed drink that was more alcohol than non.

"It's funny running into you here. I didn't think this was your scene," Jack mentioned once they ordered.

Peyton exaggeratedly nodded. "Yeah, my friends decided to take me out. I'm having fun though, aren't you?" she attempted to flirt.

"Yeah, yeah, I am just out with a few friends, getting a few beers, you know," he answered.

Peyton tilted her head up at him. He was about as tall as Jake but more bulky with blue-green eyes. His chin wasn't as defined and he had zero chin dimple.

He must have thought she was staring in more than just a drunken analyzation because all of a sudden his lips were on her and she gasped a little. He took it as a good thing and continued to kiss her. Peyton's eyes widened as his tongue entered her mouth and she pulled away after another moment.

She busied herself by taking a sip of her drink that had appeared while they were kissing, she assumed.

"I, um," Jack started, embarrassed.

Peyton shook her head. "No, you're fine," she assured him but wasn't sure if she was. Was she only going to ever kiss Jack when she was drinking? And each time was it just going to remind her of how Jake used to make her feel because she didn't feel it with him?

Jack awkwardly took a swig of his own drink.

Peyton looked across the bar and finally spotted Rachel, but she wasn't alone. She was with Lucas... and Nathan. She looked like she was fighting with them, more so Lucas than Nathan and that confused her. Why was she more mad at Lucas? Shouldn't Nathan be the one she was mad at?

All of a sudden Lucas backed up with his hands in surrender and went to exit the bar. "I, uh, I will be right back," Peyton excused herself and took off across the bar, moving faster than she should have been if she was past tipsy.

She also had no idea what she was doing. Why was she following Lucas? Yesterday- hell, earlier today all she wanted to do was forget him and wish she hadn't seen him the night before.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned loudly, ignoring the slight chill in the early spring air. Lucas froze mid-step. "Yes, it is me talking to you. What are you doing here?" she asked and he turned around. She focused on the ground and only spoke again when his shoes came into her vision.

It was then she let herself look at him. He was only in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, but somehow his blue eyes shone through the darkness. They were in the back alley of the bar with no one around. He was staring right back at her and she felt herself shiver.

"Don't make me ask you again," she stated.

"Go back inside, Peyton," he simply answered.

She shook her head. "Not until I get my answer. What are you doing here? Is it about that business Brooke said you were starting?"

"I'm not going to do this with you right now. Please go back inside. Why are you so upset with me?" he insisted.

"You-you're not going to do this with me right now? Really?" she continued, her anger flaring. "Well, when will I be worth your time, Luke? When I run into you on the street, maybe at the grocery store? Just let me know when I can finally get some fucking answers around here," she said, the alcohol fueling her anger.

"Peyton, not now, okay? You've been drinking, just go back inside and let your friends take care of you," he pleaded, stepping closer.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You can't just come here like this like it's no big deal, you're not allowed," she insisted. "So tell me, why are you here?"

Lucas looked like he would have laughed if she wasn't trying to pick a fight with him. "What? No. Peyton, please just go back in-"

"Stop telling me what to do!" she exploded, pushing his chest, causing him to stumble back a little. "You don't get to come back and try to take care of me or-or pawn me off on someone else so they can do it. I have been taking care of myself for the past two damn years and I've been doing just fine," she told him.

Lucas's jaw clenched. "Fine, you can take care of yourself, just go back in and do whatever you want so I can leave."

"I kissed another guy tonight," Peyton found herself admitting.

His hands turned into fists. "Peyton what about J-"

"And it wasn't the first time either. I did the other night too, in my apartment, on the couch," she went on. "He's a good guy, you know. Someone my parents would approve of, a lawyer with nice, church-going parents."

"What about Jake why don't you go back inside and be with him?" he asked, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. He couldn't do this, not here, not like this.

"Because he isn't you!" she just about yelled. "It's been two fucking years and all that I can do is think about you and it's not fair," she went on, pushing on his chest again. "It's not fair to Jake, and it's not fair to Brooke, but I can't help it and then you just come here and look like you and you still-" she stopped herself and turned around to hide her tears from him.

She felt him behind her. "Peyton, please, just go inside, okay? We- we'll talk later," he pleaded softly.

Peyton wiped her eyes and turned only to find him right behind her. Another inch and they would've been touching. "How can you come back and make me feel like you did before like nothing ever happened?" she asked quietly, looking up into his eyes. Lucas just pursed his lips and looked down at her. "I-I kissed Jake and I felt _nothing_. I've made out with him and just felt _guilty_. And- and you just come back and stand close to me and I feel more than I have in years," she whispered. "Why?"

"I don't know, Peyton, but we can't-"

She stopped him by tugging on his neck and brought his lips down to hers.

* * *

It was the alcohol flowing through her system and she knew it. Sober she probably wouldn't have even gone near him, at least not any time soon. But being drunk and with him so close all she wanted to do was touch him. Her lips moved with his with a sense of familiarity.

Peyton felt every dull nerve ending in her body ignite with passion for the first time in over two years. It amazed her how he could still bring this side out of her, even after all he had done, after all, they had been through, after all the time that had passed.

Then all of a sudden Lucas had her against the brick of the building and his hands quickly went underneath her bum to lift her up a little so they could kiss easier. Her fingers threaded through his hair, feeling the soft, silky strands and pulling on it a little too. She had missed it. She missed everything. Her fingers combed through his hair probably more than a brush did while they were together.

He bit her lip and she moaned and it was like Lucas snapped back to reality. He put her down and left her heaving against the wall as he turned away and shook his head.

"Peyton, we can't..." he trailed off, hands rubbing his face.

She grabbed his elbow and pulled him back to her. "I know it's wrong but kiss me, Luke," she murmured, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She loved the feeling of his body against hers. It was like her addiction had stayed dormant until now. Now she has hooked all over again.

He pressed his forehead against hers and let out a long sigh. She breathed him in and smiled at the cologne, sawdust, and coffee. Lucas. It was all Lucas. For the first time in forever her heart didn't have a panging ache attached to each beat.

"Kiss me," she repeated, rubbing their noses together lightly. He used to love doing that, especially after she admitted that it caused her to melt a little every time he did it. She brushed her lips against his softly.

Lucas groaned and pressed his lips to hers, giving in. Peyton grinned and using her hold of his neck as leverage and looped her leg around his waist. In return, his hand squeezed at her bare skin and their tongues began to touch.

It was more than Peyton felt in years. For the first time since they broke up, she felt alive and she didn't want it to end.

But it did.

"Peyton!"

"Luke?"

Their friends found them, causing Lucas to retract from her and stumble away. He shook his head as he had been under some type of spell. Her spell.

"What the hell are you doing?" Haley demanded, coming over to grab Peyton's hand.

But she ripped it away. "Don't blame him, I kissed him first," she insisted, standing in front of the blue-eyed boy and reached behind herself to grab at him.

His hand found hers out of instinct and he cursed himself. He couldn't do this, but he didn't pull away either.

"I don't care, you're drunk, he should know better," Rachel cut in, glaring at the man behind her friend.

"I made him do it- I- it's fine," Peyton said, almost pleading.

She wanted it to be two minutes ago again. She wanted his lips on hers, the feel of his body below her fingertips, his smell in her nostrils. She wanted to feel alive. It was unlike her, but she wanted to go home with him, wherever that was for him. It was wrong, but it felt so right too. She just wanted to be left alone with him again.

Then Lucas spoke. "Peyton, go," she heard behind her. She turned on him. "Go with your friends," he urged, letting her hand go.

This time she was the one to stumble away, but thankfully her friends caught her. For some reason, it was like Lucas was leaving her all over again. He was letting her go. She wanted to stay with him and he wanted her to go. She just held onto Rachel and Haley, trying to ignore the new pain in her heart and the chills that suddenly overwhelmed her.

Nathan followed the girls but Haley stayed behind.

"Don't," Lucas stated, holding a hand up to her.

"Don't what?" Haley replied. "Tell you how stupid you are? How irresponsible it is for you to do that to her? How could you do that to Brooke, Luke? That's the dumbest thing you could have done since the first time you kissed her, what the hell were you thinking? Peyton is drunk, and she doesn't know what she's doing but you sure as hell should know better," she insisted.

"I know that!" Lucas exclaimed, pulling at the ends of his hair. "When you told me to leave I did. She followed me out, she kissed me. I pulled away, but- I'm stupid, okay? I know. You don't have to rub it in."

"Yes, I do because- ugh Luke! I've been lying to Brooke about you. I've kept what you've been doing and where you have been a secret because you asked me to-"

"Don't make it out like that," Lucas interrupted with hard eyes that looked like ice. "I didn't contact you, you found me, remember? I was fully aware that Brooke was where you needed to be. I didn't try and bring anyone into the middle of this. You wanted answers. I didn't tell you anything. You decided to insert yourself in the middle, so don't act like I put you there," he insisted.

"What was I supposed to do?" Haley questioned. "You left her Luke, I wanted to help, but you wouldn't tell me anything. Then I come here and find that you're kissing Peyton! You do realize she's getting married in four days right? Does Jake ring a bell? How could you do this to your best friend?!. You want to tell me what this all about?"

"Look, that was an accident, it did not mean _anything_ okay. Nathan forced me to go out tonight so I did. And I don't have to run my plans by you first, I know what I am doing," he told her.

"It didn't look like _nothing_ Luke. You know what you're doing?" Haley almost laughed.

"Yes!" Lucas shot back.

Haley nodded with a scowl. "Did you know what you were doing when you kissed Peyton? Do you know how crushed Brooke would be if she found out? she would cry for days, Or that we would have to force her to get out of bed and shower and eat? Did you ever consider Brooke's feeling at all?"

"Don't act like I don't know her," Lucas growled. "I knew what me kissing Peyton would do. I just couldn't- she would have- you don't know everything!" he reminded her impatiently.

"If you knew that why would you do then Luke? Because we both know that you're still in love with her, that you could not love her," Haley said in a low, angry voice.

Lucas clenched his jaw. He was not going to do this with her. "Just go get her home. They won't leave without you," he stated and turned around, leaving her behind in the alleyway.

* * *

He was stupid and he was aware of it, he didn't need the girl he called a best friend to remind him. When he finally made his way back to Karen's Café after a long walk to cool off he climbed the steps to the loft and ignored the twisting of his gut.

It wasn't in the plan to stay at the loft, where he and Peyton had once made a home together. It was somewhat small, but he had built it up with his own two hands and it was a good place for them to live while he was saving up money and she was going through music school. She moved out after he left, Nathan had told him that.

While his details had been minimal Nathan kept him up to date on his ex-girlfriend to a certain extent. He knew she fell apart when she found that he was gone, that she couldn't even bear to return to the loft to pack up her belongings, but had her friends do it for her.

He'd had Nathan pack up his own things for him, knowing if he saw Brooke after what he'd done he wouldn't have been able to handle it. He also knew she had moved in with Peyton because she wasn't emotionally well enough to be on her own.

Lucas knew that this would break her and he didn't need reminding of it. And sleeping in the loft was too much for him, but he had nowhere else to go because he was sure as hell wasn't going to go to his mom's house. He opened a beer and collapsed onto the couch, a feeling of dread washing over him.

He hadn't known what to expect when he saw her again. Actually, he knew she wouldn't be able to handle it at first. Her walking away from him was something he knew to expect. What he didn't know was that the second time he saw her she would be drunk and kiss him. A slap he would have bet on, not a kiss. He chuckled to himself before taking a swig. She'd probably slap him later.

He had only been back in the loft for about ten minutes before the door opened and slammed shut. It was a relief to see Nathan; he was half expecting Haley for a round two or maybe Brooke to deliver a swift kick in the groin.

"Hey," he croaked once he swallowed.

"What the hell did you think you were doing back there?" his raven-haired friend questioned.

Lucas rolled his eyes and fell back to the couch once more. "I already got this from Hales; I don't need it from you too."

"Uh, yeah, I think you do," Nathan insisted, coming to stand in front of him.

"Nathan, we both know the only reason you're here is that Haley just got into another fight with you about me and you don't want to go home to an empty apartment. So why don't you grab a beer and come sit with me and watch TV or something?" he suggested.

His brother shrugged. "Yeah, alright."

Lucas laughed into his beer bottle. He was thankful for Nathan. He'd never had a best friend before Nathan.

There was Haley, once they both hit puberty their friendship sort of dissolved until Haley started tutoring Nathan. He didn't blame her, they just went separate ways. He didn't like people; he hated the games they played, the way they acted, and just preferred to be alone while his childhood playmate became a mom, then the rockstar she was destined to be, she just flourished in the spotlight.

Nathan was better backstage, that was why he and Haley went so well together. He'd happily shine the light on her any time. She deserved it, she was so brilliant and beautiful, a spotlight should have been permanently placed above her. He silently wished he was still the person working the lights.

"It was stupid of you to do that though," Nathan repeated once he sat down next to his brother.

"Three years together, two years apart and I'm still not good at resisting her," Lucas agreed with a nod. "I shouldn't have, but- she's just so- infuriating sometimes," he went on. "I thought I had it all planned out, you know? Then she goes and follows me out of that damn bar that you dragged me to."

"Yeah, blame this on the guy who tried to make you have fun tonight, not yourself," Nathan mumbled.

Lucas leaned his head back on the cushions. "Trust me, these days I blame everything on myself, rightfully so."

"I know why you did what you did, Luke," his brother began after a silent minute or two. "And I can't say in the same situation I wouldn't have made the same decision, actually, I know I wouldn't have you know why? because Haley deserves the world," he added. "But not all the blame falls on you and Brooke will see that... if you ever tell her about this. I mean, you are going to have to tell her eventually, you know that right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean I am looking forward to it."

* * *

"We should just check her into the nuthouse," Brooke stated the next night.

"Brooke!" Rachel scolded. "She's not crazy, she's sick," she corrected her friend.

The brunette nodded. "She's frickin' delusional, hospital worthy."

Haley rolled her eyes. "No, she's not, she just got the flu or something. Probably from throwing up in the bar's toilet last night. I told you we should just let her do it outside."

"Yeah, because seeing a girl yak in the bushes is great," Rachel responded. "Can we stop fighting; we have to figure out what to do with her. Should we call her parents?"

Brooke laughed. "What are they going to do, send some flowers over?" she asked rhetorically.

"Well, Jake is in New York for the next week doing something or other so he is a no-go. And Rachel and I can't stay so unless you want to..." Haley replied.

"No! I don't do sick people. I barely do healthy people. Plus, I work tomorrow," Brooke insisted with a shake of her head.

Rachel groaned. "We all work tomorrow. I have two clients tomorrow that I cannot cancel on. I already cancelled on him last week when my dad came to town. I am just getting started, I can't lose a client. Haley has an album to finish, that she's been freaking about for over a month, and her parents will be about as useful as leaving Brooke here," she finished.

"Hey!" Brooke frowned.

"Luke," Peyton groaned from the bed.

Brooke furrowed her brows, confused as to why her best friend was asking for her boyfriend. She was a little suspicious about it given the history between Lucas and Peyton. She wanted to believe it was because Peyton saw how well Lucas took care of her, so she wanted him to the same. She would be lying if it she admitted it did bot bother her but she didn't want to think the worse just yet.

When the girl spent the night throwing up they thought it was just the hangover kicking in. But in the morning when she had the chills and could barely stand they realized she was actually sick.

"Why Lucas?" Rachel asked, confused. Haley knew why Peyton called out for Lucas but stood beside her in silence as she waited for Brooke to answer.

"I want to believe it's because she saw how well Lucas took care of me and wanted the same treatment for herself, but I'm not sure. Besides, Luke agreed he'd take care of Peyton if she ever needed it," Brooke stated softly, a little hurt.

"Does that bother you though Brooke? That she wants your boyfriend and not her fiancé?" Rachel replied, her arms crossed, as they all stood beside Peyton's bed.

"I mean, yeah it does a little, but we're all friends and I know Luke would never do anything to hurt me. Peyton wouldn't do that to Jake, besides what's the worse that can happen?" Brooke quipped.

"Maybe we should give her what she wants," Rachel suggested with a shrug.

"Rachel!" both of her friends exclaimed. "We can't just leave him with her. She's sick, she doesn't know what she's saying. I'd rather send her to the nuthouse than to Luke. Once she comes too she'd kill us," Haley reminded her.

"HA!" Brooke gloated at Rachel. Rachel glared. "Well, we have to decide something; she's one degree away from her brain-melting."

"Brooke, that's not really how it works, she does have a high fever, but-"

"I don't care, Hales, and you know what I meant. We should just flip a coin," Brooke cut her off.

"Flip a coin? That is how we decide this?" Rachel replied. "That we call Lucas or send her to the nuthouse?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "No, we call Luke or call her dad."

"Luke," Peyton murmured again, her eyes closed as she lay buried underneath a mountain of blankets.

Peyton never got sick, ever. And when she was sick the only person she would listen to (when she was coherent) was Jake and Lucas. When she got really, really sick Jake and Lucas were the only ones who knew how to take care of her. It was like her instincts kicked in since becoming a mom she would rather attempt to take care of her daughter herself than send a fruit basket. So it made sense that in Lucas's reentry into her life and her delusional state that she wanted the one person who she knew would make her feel better.

"Fine," Rachel answered, taking a coin off of Peyton's nightstand. "Heads for Luke, tails for parents?" Both girls nodded. Rachel tossed the coin into the air and caught it in her palm. "So, who wants to make the call?" she asked once she revealed the answer.

They made Haley make the call. It took two calls and one text, but once he read the words "Peyton's sick," he called back immediately. He knew how the girl was when she was ill and he knew no one else knew how to take care of her as he did.

"How high is her temperature?" Lucas questioned when he entered the apartment half an hour later, bags in his hands.

"102," Haley answered, biting her lip. "We thought she was just hungover when she was throwing up off and on all night. When she was freezing this morning and-"

"And asking for you," Brooke cut in softly, a bit agitated.

Haley gave her a look. "We didn't know what to do. We all love her, but when she's sick-"

"I know," Lucas interrupted her this time. "Has she been sick since I was gone?" he wondered nonchalantly as he shrugged off his leather jacket.

"Colds and stuff, not flu-like and delusional," Brooke answered him. "I guess she just saves this side of herself for you," she tried to joke.

Lucas nodded, feeling the awkwardness of the room. "Well, I grabbed everything I need for her on the way over so you guys can," he stopped by tossing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door. "Thanks for calling me, Hales," he mumbled as she passed him.

"Well, she was asking for you and you won the coin toss," she responded. He looked at her confusedly. "Just, take care of her, please."

* * *

Lucas nodded and sighed once he was alone.

Again, this was not going according to plan. He would without a doubt take care of her, but the intimacy in which he would have to do it is definitely something she would be opposed to if she was well and it wouldn't be easy for him either. But he couldn't think about him at the moment. He had to think of her.

Peyton didn't get really sick often, clearly since she hadn't been like this since he left, but when she got really sick she got _really_ sick. He took in a deep breath and entered the bedroom.

He saw her lying in bed, shivering underneath at least three different blankets. "Hey, Peyton," he greeted, putting a hand to her forehead. It was horribly warm.

"Luke," she whispered, her eyes fluttering half-open. "Everything hurts," she murmured, grabbing onto his hand and hugged it to herself for comfort.

This was going to be the hardest part. "I know, baby, c'mon," he urged, pulling her out from underneath the warmth.

"Nooo," she whined, clutching her comforter.

"Peyton, baby, we have to get you washed up," he insisted, taking her fully into his arms so she didn't have to walk. "Doesn't a warm shower sound nice?" he asked and she nodded.

She clung to him like a baby koala and it made his heartbreak. She had to be truly sick to wish for him and be happy by his arrival. Sick or drunk, he supposed. Lucas turned the shower on and made sure the water wasn't too hot before undressing both her and himself.

It felt wrong. He knew he shouldn't be able to hold her like this, even sick, after all, that he'd done. It wasn't even remotely sensual, not to him; it never was when she was sick of course. This was about getting her better because she was impossible when she was sick. But he had to admit it was different because they weren't together anymore.

He washed her and could at least take comfort in the fact that she enjoyed the warmth of the shower and probably his body up against hers. She began to shiver as soon as they exited the shower and he dressed her as fast as he could in a pair of comfortable cloth pants, thick socks and a t-shirt of his he'd brought.

It was important to dress her lightly because she'd overheat otherwise and if she was cold she could just put on blankets. She leaned back against him, a blanket over her chest as he combed her hair out on her armchair in the corner of the bedroom.

"Alright, Peyton, lay back and put this under your tongue," he said, holding out the little white stick. She barely acknowledged that she'd heard him except for the fact that she opened her mouth for the thermometer.

He got out from behind her and took the sheets off the bed so he could replace them with clean ones. He was just finishing up when the thermometer beeped. He took it out of her mouth and linked his hand through hers when she reached for it without a second thought.

103.

He put her back in bed and left to make some tea. Even in her sick state, she'd probably ask for coffee, but he wouldn't allow it. She needed something warm, non-caffeinated, and soothing to her probably raw throat from throwing up all night. In a weak effort, he also put some soup on the stove, knowing she wouldn't want to eat it, but he at least had to try.

"Luke?" she was saying when he entered the room, some tea that had a small ice cube in it in his hand. It was his presence she desired most when she was sick he learned long ago and how she hated being left alone. She needed to know someone was there, especially him.

"I'm here, I'm here, Peyton," he assured her, sitting next to her on the bed and cupped her cheek lightly. "I need you to sit up though, babe, you have to take some medicine," he told her, physically pulling her up, knowing she wouldn't do it herself. She groaned. "I know you don't want to and it tastes like crap, but you have to," he insisted, measuring out the syrups which were hard to do with her resting on his chest.

She looked exhausted, worn out, and just plain done. That was his fault, he knew it, and having to take care of her like this was some sort of punishment, it just had to be. He hated when she was sick, he hated having to do it when he knew he was the reason she was sick, and he hated being the second only person able to take care of her because she was such a handful.

It was selfish and he knew it, but it was like she waited to get sick until he was back, until she unconsciously knew someone was around who knew how to handle her. There was no doubt he would take care of her, he would take care of her even if she was sick for the next two weeks or two years, but he didn't have to like it.

Even though he did like it. He loved being close to her, being able to hold her, smell her, touch her bare skin, but he would not let himself enjoy it. It wasn't fair to her so he made himself dislike it.

"I'm heating up some soup for you, Peyton, will you eat some for me?" he asked after he tucked her back into bed.

She groaned in response. "Just- just lay with me...shirtless," she pleaded, tugging on his hand.

"I will lay down with you...but not shirtless," he began to compromise. "If you eat half a bowl of soup."

Peyton sighed loudly before nodding curtly and he smiled before kissing her forehead.

She needed skin contact, he learned early on, or at least that she craved it, especially when sick. It was something he noticed when they had just begun dating, how she would reach for his hand, then take it away if he didn't catch on to what was happening, ashamed or embarrassed. Peyton was his first real girlfriend; everything was new to him with her. From then on he'd made a point to touch her in some way, not overly PDA-like, but just simple touches; hand-holding, an arm around her shoulders, pushing a hair behind her ear.

It was something she happily returned and he didn't know he'd needed it either until then. They'd both never been really touched like that by another and with him his previous touches always made him hate himself. Peyton helped change that for him. She changed everything for him.

"Enough?" she whined half an hour later, her eyes struggling to stay open.

"Yeah, baby, enough," he agreed, putting the mostly empty bowl on her bedside table. He half-smiled when she shifted over to make room for him to lie down with her. When he needed her to sit up to eat or take medicine he had to move her, but to make room for him she found the energy to shift over.

A deal was a deal so he shrugged and climbed into bed with her. She immediately snuggled into him, her shivering making his heartache. She fell asleep a little bit later and he knew it by how she stopped shivering. After lying with her for half an hour he slipped out of bed and felt her forehead again. It was still warm, but he hoped there would be some change by morning.

He'd fallen into an uncomfortable sleep in her armchair when he heard her jump out of bed and run for the toilet. He was after her in a heartbeat, holding her hair back as she emptied her already desolate stomach.

"Here, here, here," he insisted, handing her a glass of cold water once she'd finished.

She chugged it down surprisingly and fell back against the tub, defeated. "Sorry," she wheezed.

"Never say you're sorry to me for things like this, I told you that a long time ago," he replied, refilling her water. "You ready to go back to bed or do you need to stay here?"

She let out a deep breath and took another sip of water. "Bed."

"Alright, I'll make you some more tea for your throat, okay? And maybe get you some crackers?" he suggested, laying her back in bed with her water next to her.

"Sorry, baby," she said again as she tried to take comfort in her bed.

"Don't Peyton, it's not your fault, alright? Just lie down and let me make you something," he insisted, putting blankets over her and left the room.

He hated it when she said sorry for things that weren't her fault. It was something she hated in him as well, so he couldn't blame her.

He hadn't gotten any sleep. By the time Peyton settled down and fell into her own slumber it only lasted for half an hour at the most before she was throwing up or woke up because somehow she knew he wasn't lying next to her anymore. He should have stayed in the bed but it was too hard for him to just hold her as he used to considering he had Brooke to think about, besides he loved her too much to hurt her.

Brooke called, wanting an update on her very sick friend. Well, she'd called last night too, but it was during one of Peyton's bathroom runs and he didn't think to answer the phone was as important. _"Hey, how is she? I called her work, said she was too weak to get out of bed. Jack, her friend, said he would cover what he could for her and her boss said if Peyton was too weak to even call he knew she must really be sick,"_ she replied.

"Yeah, she's at 103 right now which is what she was last night. It didn't go up which is good. If it doesn't change by tomorrow I'm probably going to call a doctor," Lucas said into his phone the next morning as he rubbed Peyton's back, hoping to keep her asleep this time.

Lucas chuckled a little. That was true. "Well, I have things covered here for now so I will call you later tonight," he told her. "Oh, um, Brooke, has anyone told Jake?" he wondered.

_"No, not yet. Why you scared of him? Want a head start before-"_

"Brooke, could you just let me know if he finds out?" he questioned.

_"Yeah, sure, Luke, because you're not at the top of my shit list or anything,"_ she replied sarcastically.

"Brooke, please," Lucas said, trying not to get annoyed.

She sighed. _"I'll do my best. Just call me later. I love you,"_

Once they hung up Lucas shifted down to lie next to the shivering girl next to him. If he had to stay next to her for her to actually sleep he'd just have to do it so she could get rest and get better.

"Lucas?" Peyton suddenly spoke up.

"Hm, yeah, baby? What do you need?" he immediately questioned, pushing some hair behind her ear.

Her eyes opened slightly. "How could you do it?" she asked quietly. "How could you ruin your relationship with Brooke?"

Lucas's eyes widened. She gained a minute of sanity through all this to ask him that?

"I-" he opened his mouth, having no idea how to answer, but she was already passed out again.

His head dropped against the headboard, hoping that when she came too she didn't remember asking him that and that she definitely didn't want the answer to it. He wasn't ready, not yet.

* * *

_Okay, so I hate the second half of this chapter, I kind of like the last parts with Lucas... I don't know, none of it just seemed to come outright. I tried to channel Peyton the best I could. I think she would want to be in denial a bit, at least in the beginning. I know it seems weird, for Lucas to take care of Peyton but I needed a reason for him to have to be around her (a little torture on his part) without her really being her. I wanted you to get inside his head a little bit,etc. Let me know what you think._

_**Guest:** They did not know each other in high school, but in this story, they start dating the same time Haley ends her relationship with Clay, and it's been smooth sailing ever since. I have removed that part as I read it over and realized it did not fit well in that scene. I will be adding to a future brucas scene though. Rachel was in the hospital as she just gave birth but she is okay now and is able to do things. Sorry for the confusion! I wrote that last chapter at 3 in the morning, and I was half asleep, so I apologize for any confusion. _

_**sandygirl:** Thank you! I am glad you're enjoying this story. _

_**Guest:** thank you! _

_**thibbs 65:** Thank you! I do agree that if Haley is worried about matters to do with her relationship with Nathan she should definitely talk to him about it rather than jumping to conclusions. The Jeyton wedding will be filled with lots of drama, can you guess what it will be about? and that's so awesome! I hope you had fun at the con! _

_**Guest:** I did not copy anything from the other person. I had written this paragraph for the author to gain inspiration from as I said, I didn't know they used these paragraphs in their story, so damn I do, damn i don't. It's frustrating when these issues occur. I hate being accused of copying scenes, just cause someone's story was published before mine, even though I had written the scenes long ago. I have learned that is hard to trust anyone these days Anyway, I realized it didn't make sense to add that scene in where I did so I have since removed it. _

* * *

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon! _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


	20. Chapter 20

_"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."_  
_  
― Federico García Lorca_

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**February 22, 2007**

"Peyton."

Peyton was a bit taken aback by Rachel's stern tone. She wasn't used to Rachel putting her foot down. "What?"

Rachel was not amused. "Peyton, you can't just go meet your ex and not tell Jake or Brooke. What if someone else tells them? What if _I _tell them?" she inquired.

Peyton frowned. "Rach, you couldn't really do that, would you?"

"Brooke is like a sister to me, Peyton, and I care for Jake. You can't just tell me this and expect me _not _to tell them. Especially knowing the way Lucas's mind works," she said with a small scoff.

"I'll tell him later tonight, and I'll figure out what to say to Brooke okay? I don't know why you're so concerned, Rachel! It's Lucas okay? He's with Brooke," Peyton noted.

"Does it matter, Peyton? Secrets are secrets and sometimes lies, too! You literally are getting married in less than two days and you're already keeping stuff from him."

"My God, Rachel! People are allowed to keep secrets! It's not like I'm pregnant and not telling him. It's not like I'm having an affair!"

"Seriously? You call kissing Lucas not having an affair Peyton? Do you even hear yourself? It's only a matter of time before secrets add up. Lies breed more lies, Peyton!"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You're being ridiculous. I don't even know why I told you. I wouldn't have if I knew you were going to flip out like this!"

* * *

Rachel let out a heavy sigh of frustration as she paced back and forth around her house.

"I mean…how am I supposed to just _not _tell Brooke or Jake about what Peyton is doing? I feel like if the situation was reversed and you told them that you were going to meet some girl you used to sleep with and…I would want him to tell me. I mean, you would want him to tell you, right?"

She looked at her husband, who was too busy cradling their daughter at the moment to even notice.

"Dean! I know Delilah is adorable, but could you at least _pretend _to listen to my rant here?" she asked.

He shook out of it. "Sorry, what was that?"

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes before sitting down next to him.

"I think you should wait a day or two before you say anything to either of them. If in like two or three days, it seems like he still doesn't know, you should talk to Peyton about it and see if she told them. And if in like a week or so, he still doesn't seem to know, maybe you should talk to them yourself."

Rachel thought about that in silence for a moment. Finally, she kissed her husband on the cheek. "You're really great at giving advice. Has anyone ever told you that?"

He just smiled at her before looking down at their sleeping daughter.

"She has your eyes, you know?" she asked as she looked at her.

"She's asleep. You can't see her eyes."

She shrugged. "But I just know."

* * *

"I don't think the suit matches the truck," she stated casually as she walked up to him. "I mean, that is a nice suit, but next to that old thing?" she went on as he smiled. "It throws off the whole look."

Lucas looked down at the gray suit that seemed to be tailored to him. He looked _really_ good in a suit. "It keeps me humble, I suppose," he replied, already loosening his tie.

It had been awkward when she woke from what she was told was an eleven-hour sleep to find Lucas in bed with her, reading a book and running his fingers through her hair. Her temperature had lessened to double digits after the long snooze and while she knew Lucas was there, the non-delusional Peyton wasn't as forgiving and needy as the flu-having one.

Once her temperature had been double-checked, tea and soup had been started, and an update on her life had been given Lucas called Brooke for reinforcements and was out the door. Tension hung in the air the whole half an hour she tried to recollect her memory, but she didn't have the energy to question too much right then.

"Thank you, again, Lucas for taking care of me. I know how I am-"

"Peyton, it was nothing," he cut her off with a head shake. "You needed me, I was there, simple as that."

* * *

Haley was just deciding what she was going to eat when she saw two people walk up in her peripheral vision. She looked up to see Clay with a woman. Valeria. The woman he chose as a surrogate.

She was just as beautiful, if not more stunning, in real life. It almost made Haley…_jealous_. But then she shook away the feelings, recalling that she was now dating Nathan.

Valeria and Clay interrupted her reverie. They sat across from Haley.

"Hi, I'm Haley," Haley said as she extended her hand to Valeria.

Valeria gave her a dazzling white smile. "Hi. I'm Valeria," she answered.

"It's nice to meet you," Haley said softly. "I've heard a lot about you."

Valeria smiled. Haley could tell it wasn't exactly sincere or warm. She couldn't help but wonder why.

"How are you, Haley?" Clay asked, breaking the awkward silence Haley wasn't even aware filled the space between them.

"I'm fine." She wasn't too sure whether it was proper etiquette to tell your ex-fiancé about your life.

He nodded. The awkward silence filled the air again.

After more meaningless exchanges were given, Clay excused himself to pick up a business call. Both Haley and Valeria saw him off and were left quiet and unsure of what to say.

"So have you and Clay pursued the surrogacy yet?" Haley asked.

Valeria looked confused. "How did you—"

"Oh! I assumed Clay had told you. I went with him to the agency to help him with the whole thing. I am…was a friend of his. I don't really know where we stand now. We haven't spoken in a while," Haley explained uncomfortably.

Valeria nodded, trying to understand. "He never told me. I mean, he's mentioned you a few times before."

Haley felt a bit uncomfortable. But she just had to ask. "Did he ever say anything else about me?" she inquired curiously.

"No." Haley could tell that Valeria was getting an uneasy feeling about him.

"Clay is…"

She wasn't sure if telling Valeria would be some kind of betrayal. She could always tell him that she just slipped up and didn't realize she didn't know. That would work, right?

"We were engaged. Obviously, we're not anymore. And I'm glad that he found you. We found you, I guess."

Valeria looked really taken aback and uneasy about this whole thing. "Engaged?"

"I swear, that's all in the past. I'm in a relationship. if that makes you feel better," Haley said, trying to soothe her. She picked up her drink.

She swore she heard Valeria breathe a small sigh of relief. "So you're in a relationship?" she asked for confirmation.

Haley nodded with a smile. "Yes, and I'm very happy. I know what you were thinking. Or at least, I think I do. And I'm happy for both of you," she answered with a sincere smile.

Valeria had to smile at that.

* * *

"Auntie Haley! Auntie Brooke!" Anna called from the living room as Haley and Brooke helped Peyton clean in the kitchen.

Peyton smiled at them. "You go. I can finish. It's just drying plates now," she insisted.

Haley and Brooke quickly went to the living room to see what was going on with Anna. She was playing with a few dolls she had gotten and the cute dollhouse Nathan had built for her. She was brushing the hair on one of her dolls.

"Anna? Did you want to tell us something?" Brooke asked as she scrutinized Nathan's work on the dollhouse.

She nodded. "I wanted to ask you something," she said before she put the doll in the dollhouse. She turned to face them. Haley had to stifle a laugh. She wondered if Anna took a page from Peyton's book on confrontations. She looked so much like her mother at this point. "Am I going to have any new cousins soon beside Jamie?" she asked, trying to contain her excitement.

Both Haley and Brooke were speechless. They didn't think Anna would ask a question like that. Peyton, sure, but…maybe Anna was borrowing a few pages from her mother's book.

"Why do you say that?"

Anna shrugged. "Mommy says that babies are born when a boy and a girl _really _like each other. And Auntie Haley and Uncle Nathan are always—"

"Anna!" Haley exclaimed. The little girl smiled mischievously.

Brooke looked at Haley with surprise. She couldn't believe what Anna was saying.

"And Mommy said that you really like Lucas, Auntie Brooke," Anna said.

Brooke nodded. "Your mommy is right; I do really like him, but usually a boy and a girl don't have a baby until they both know they're ready. Even if sometimes it's unexpected, like you. But you were the best surprise ever, right?" she asked.

Anna started laughing and she nodded. "Auntie Haley?"

She was still waiting for a well-thought-out explanation from Haley. Haley sighed. This girl had everyone wrapped around her little fingers.

"Well, Auntie Haley and Uncle Nathan just aren't ready to have a baby yet. And besides, we get to spoil you and Jamie for now, until we do have a baby of our own," Haley explained before giving Anna hug. Anna hugged her back.

* * *

The next Saturday morning, Haley was lying in bed, thinking. It was like she couldn't stop thinking about what Anna had said for the entire week. And she still couldn't get it off her mind.

"Hales? Are you up?" Nathan asked quietly as he walked into their bedroom with two cups of coffee.

Haley sat up and yawned. Nathan brought the coffee over to her. She took a sip and placed it back on the coffee table. "Wow, I seem to have rubbed off on you. Your coffee is strong like mine," she commented with a smile. She looked at his cup and was shocked. "_And _you don't use any cream or sugar anymore?"

He shrugged. "What can I say? You've changed me," he joked before putting it down.

She laughed. "Come here, you sap," she teased. She settled into his arms and sighed. "You know when we were at Peyton's and Jake's house for Anna? And Brooke and I helped Peyton clean up after?"

"Yeah…?" he answered cautiously.

"Anna wanted to talk to me and Brooke afterwards and you'll never guess what she wanted to talk about."

"What did she say?" he asked curiously.

She began to laugh a little when she thought about it. "She…she asked me when she was going to have a cousin. And then she asked if you and I were going to have a child soon."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that we weren't ready to have a baby yet, so we would spoil her and Jamie for the time being," she answered.

Before he could reply, it was brought to their attention that Bella had found her way onto their bed. She began to nudge Nathan. Haley picked her up and began to pet her while holding her like a baby.

"She's and Jamie are the only babies I'm ready to have at the moment," she told him before kissing Bella lightly on the head. Bella rubbed up against Haley in response. Besides We're going to pick him up, take care of him, and then give him up to his forever home," she assured him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Forever home?"

"That's what they call it, Nathan," she told him.

"Okay," he said with a small laugh.

She rolled her eyes. "You're very mature," she replied sarcastically before getting up with Bella and putting her down on the floor. Bella trotted into the closet.

"What? Did I make you both mad?"

* * *

"So did you tell Jake yet?" Rachel asked over the phone as Peyton prepared to brush Anna's hair.

Peyton sighed. "Rachel—"

"Peyton! You have to tell him! I know my own husband and he would be _pissed _if I went to see my ex-boyfriend without telling him. He'd be even more pissed if I didn't tell him right away."

"Well, Jake is not Dean, Rachel."

"Alright, maybe not. It doesn't make it _right _for you to keep it from him," she scolded.

"I'll tell him, Rachel! But it's not a big deal. I don't know why you're freaking out. It's not like he's actively pursuing me or anything," Peyton insisted.

Rachel scoffed. "Yeah, you say that now…" she murmured.

"Bye," Peyton muttered before hanging up the phone. She was more than annoyed.

* * *

"So what was the deal with Peyton and Jake?" Nathan asked as he cleaned the dishes whilst Haley poked her finger around Bella.

Haley shrugged. "Nothing much. He was just telling me about it…things with him and Peyton and Anna."

Nathan stopped. Haley noticed and turned to him. "Are they having any…problems?" he inquired timidly.

"What? No! No," she insisted. "He's just…a bit…upset that he's not around more often. He misses when Anna was a baby and he was around a lot more often. And he said that Peyton's okay with it, but he doesn't feel the same…" she trailed off. She hoped he didn't mention it to Jake; that was a totally made-up story.

"Jake's a good father," Nathan commented quietly. "Anna loves him a lot."

"Yeah, well…everyone is their own worst critic."

With that, Haley picked up Bella and brought her upstairs. Bella began to whine.

Back downstairs, Nathan wondered what was going on with Haley. That was quite an unusual scene.

* * *

Brooke looked up from her lazy position on the couch to the door as soon as she heard it open. Nathan walked through.

"Hey, roomie," she greeted him.

He put down his keys before taking in her new nickname for him. "Roomie?"

She turned another page of the fashion magazine she was reading. "Yup. Did your girlfriend tell you? I'm staying in the guest room until Bella births or queens or has her baby or whatever you wanna call it," she said before taking a sip of the lemonade she had beside her. "Now I can make sure _all _your shirts complement your eyes."

The smirk on the brunette's lips didn't sit that well with him. "She really told you that?"

Brooke bit her lip to keep from bursting into laughter. His expression was just too priceless.

"I'm going to be a widower and we haven't even been married...," he decided. "I'll be a black widower."

She shook her head. "No, no. You can't just go makeup idioms yourself. It doesn't work like that. Listen, Haley is the book brains, I am the street brains, and you're just here to look pretty; hence, I make you look _especially_ pretty by choosing a nice shirt for you to wear."

He didn't look too amused. "Okay, where is she?"

"She said she had to meet with someone…parent? I don't know."

"Brooke, she's a college student. I'm pretty sure they don't still have parent-teacher conferences in college."

She rolled her eyes slightly. "Fine. Maybe she's tutoring someone. I forget, okay? Maybe she's having a meeting with the person who's in charge of whatever she does. What does she do anyway?" she inquired.

"Brooke, she…"

But after taking a look in Brooke's icy, confused eyes, he decided to give up. "I'm going to take a shower," he announced.

"I hope you have fun! I'll be here when you need to get dressed!"

* * *

"Help me bring the rest of the stuff in? It's on the front porch, B."

Brooke got up quickly and slipped on her heels.

"Are you really wearing four-inch heels to go outside to get groceries?" Haley questioned as she put the four or five bags she had on the counter.

"Hey, these heels are cute, they go with my outfit, and the porch is wet from the rain yesterday! And besides, what if some cute new neighbour or something passes by? I want to look my best!" she explained as she put her feet in those painful-looking, but still pretty heels.

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. "Hey, what about Lucas?"

Hesitantly, Brooke shrugged. "Alright, so I'm off the market, but that doesn't mean I can't _tease_. Gee, Hales. I really can't figure out how you've been engaged without even figuring this out. This is like Flirting 101," Brooke replied as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Sorry. I was probably better in college and when I was flirting with Nathan, I didn't even realize it. Evidently," she faux-apologized.

* * *

Once the groceries were all in the house and put away, Haley turned to Brooke. "Okay, so two options. Either you invite Lucas over and we have like a double-date night or whatever or you go and visit him or Rachel or Peyton and Jake and Anna because I will not have you third-wheel. I personally know how painfully awkward that is," Haley proposed.

Brooke crossed her arms. "Depends. If I go, are you going to make this into an overnight thing? And if I stay, are you still going to make this into an overnight thing?"

Haley raised an eyebrow.

"Are you two going to…do _stuff _later or what? And if I stay here, is it going to interfere with my sleep? Because I need it."

Haley was silent for a few seconds. "I don't know."

"Okay, enough said. I'm leaving. I'd be happy to help you cook, though. Or bake. Ooh, I actually prefer baking. I beat you at baking a cake for Anna."

Haley arched her eyebrow again. "What?"

"Anna liked my cake better," Brooke sing-songed teasingly. "And so did Peyton. Mine was better."

The blonde narrowed her eyes. But then she smiled. "So I guess it wouldn't matter that you now bake for everything, right?"

Brooke opened her mouth to reply, but then she clamped it shut again. "How is it that you, Haley James, always manage to win?"

Haley had a sly little smile on her lips. "Because it's in my DNA," she replied.

* * *

In the hall, Peyton and Jake were waiting for Rachel and Dean to resolve whichever issue they were discussing.

"Have you spoken to Brooke?" Jake asked.

Peyton looked over at him and realized for the first time that he looked _nervous_. "What was the deal with you and Haley when Nathan and I came over for your birthday?" she inquired.

"We were just talking about…the situation."

Of course, Peyton knew the whole story about the situation. It made her sad. She was glad her mother loved him so much and was so close to him since she knew Jason was not that close with his own mother.

"What did you tell her?" she asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "I told him that I found out."

Her eyes widened. "And did you tell her who told you?"

* * *

Haley fixed the bunch of fresh, pristine, beautiful red roses she had gotten from the florist. They looked perfect on the table. At times like these, she was quite grateful for her OCD. The table looked gorgeous for a romantic dinner—if she did say so herself.

Just as she was taking the time to admire her work, her phone began to ring. She was quite surprised to see that it was Clay. She answered the phone quickly. She couldn't lie; it was mostly out of curiosity.

"Hello? Clay?"

"Haley!"

She could sense the excitement in his voice. "What happened? Why are you so excited? What do you want now?" she asked as she took a seat on the stool at the island in the kitchen.

"I was just calling to tell you some good news," he answered cryptically.

She sighed. "Alright, so I _got that _by now. What's the good news? Just tell me!" she demanded.

"Valeria is pregnant."

Haley was silent for a moment as she tried to process it. Then, a smile crossed her face. "Really? So where does that leave the two of you? Because she's certainly not just a surrogate anymore…"

"Well," he began, "we're not entirely sure yet. I mean…we're not getting married, or anything like that, but…now that we're emotionally connected in a way, I guess, and we've kind of been seeing each other…I guess we're going to have the baby together," he explained.

She couldn't help but smile. "That's great, Clay. I'm really happy for you."

It was silent on the other end. "I'm really happy for you, too."

Something about those words coming from him made her so overjoyed. She was so happy to hear him say that.

Right behind her, the door opened. She realized it was Nathan.

"I have to go but thank you so much for calling me to tell me that. I'm really happy for you," she said before hanging up shortly afterwards.

She looked over to the doorway and saw Nathan walk in, just as she had expected. He looked pleasantly surprised and confused by the sight before him.

"What is this?"

"This," she began, "is my way of showing my appreciation for my boyfriend. Are you going to keep questioning it or are you going to hurry up and join me for dinner?"

* * *

_Knock_, _knock_, _knock_.

Haley wasn't quite sure how she mustered up the courage to come to Peyton's and Jake's house in the middle of the day.

A moment later, Peyton opened the door. She seemed to be half-paying attention, but when she turned to Haley, her smile faded.

"Are you really that unhappy to see me?"

Peyton just stepped aside to let Haley in the house. "We really need to talk, Peyton," Haley announced.

They walked into the living room of the house. Anna barely even took notice of Haley; she was too busy tumbling from the couch onto the carpet and playing with her little blocks and teddy bear.

"Peyton, what's going on? You can tell me. I just want to help. But I can't stand you and Jake not even being able to look me or my boyfriend in the eye," Haley told her.

Peyton was very quiet for a few moments. "I just…Jake's…he's been dealing with a lot and he doesn't want to talk about it," she disclosed.

"But then why are you icing me out?"

Peyton sighed. "I really don't feel comfortable talking about this." Haley gave Peyton a pleading look and she sighed before complying with her wants. "Jake heard from someone about the situation. I…I didn't know how to react. Jake feels awkward around both of you. He's close to both of you and he knows I'm close to you…he didn't want anyone really to find out about it because he's kind of ashamed.…"

"Why is that so concerning?"

"Well, …it's not unusual that he doesn't talk to them for a few months, but it's been a long time. It's been over a year now since they've heard and they're both worried something happened to him," Peyton explained.

At that moment, Anna scurried in. Interrupting the tense moment, she ran over to Haley. "Auntie! I missed you the most!"

* * *

"Wow. She doesn't even look that pregnant."

Haley gave Brooke a very skeptical look. "Really? She's not going to be offended if you say that she looks really pregnant. She's a cat," she informed Brooke.

"No, that's not it. When you told me she was pregnant, I just pictured her being like…really pregnant. But she kind of just looks like a fat cat," Brooke explained.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Excuse me. I didn't realize the distinction," she retorted.

"You don't need to be sarcastic all the time, Hales," Brooke fired back with a slight glare.

"Oh, but I do," Haley answered.

Brooke rolled her eyes at Haley. Haley's phone began to beep. It was a message from Taylor's husband. Haley's eyes widened when she saw the message.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed with a slight smile.

Brooke didn't pick that up; she was alarmed. "What? What's wrong?"

"I'm…I'm an aunt. Taylor is in the hospital," Haley announced. "She just had her baby." She smiled. "I'm sorry, B. I know we made plans to hang out, but I need to go see her and my new niece now," she said.

Brooke nodded in agreement. "Of course."

"Oh, can you please stay with Bella? I don't really want to leave her alone and I don't know where Nathan is or when he's coming home," Haley added.

Brooke nodded, but Haley was already halfway out the door.

* * *

Haley walked down the sterile halls of the hospital in Tree Hill to find Taylor's room. She had been searching for five minutes and was ready to scream. She just wanted to find her sister and her new niece.

She finally found the room about a minute later. It was the room right next to the edge of the building.

She walked incautiously. Taylor was lying down in the hospital bed. Haley couldn't see her face, as she was turned towards the window, her back unknowingly towards Haley. She groaned with a bit of pain.

"Tay?" Haley asked cautiously.

She rolled over to see Haley. "Hey, Hales."

"Where's the baby?"

She groaned. "I don't know. The nurse told me she'd be back soon, but I don't know where they went. I…" she drifted off. She looked a bit odd.

A nurse walked in behind Haley. Haley turned to her. "Is there something wrong with my sister?"

The nurse bit her lip as she looked at Taylor. "It seems that she's having a rather…odd reaction to the epidural the doctors gave her. We needed to do an emergency C-section anyway, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone act like this."

"So…where is her daughter?"

"All the doctors and nurses are still giving her vaccinations and getting her cleaned up. She was only born about…forty-five minutes ago? Usually, it doesn't take this long, but the hospital is oddly crowded with expecting parents," she explained before walking over to Taylor. She took her blood pressure again before walking out of the room.

Haley walked over cautiously to Taylor's bed. "Hey. How do you feel?"

Taylor shrugged. She looked kind of tired and maybe even sad. "I just want to see my baby," she whined quietly.

"Yeah, I know, but the nurses are going to bring her in soon," Haley promised her. She was trying to placate her sister, but…Taylor already looked pretty _subdued_.

* * *

"Nathan…she's just about the cutest little girl I think I ever saw. Her name is Riley and she has these really pretty, sapphire-coloured eyes. And she's so good! I don't remember her crying at all yesterday. She just slept for most of the time I was there," Haley explained as they walked into the hospital.

"Were you the only one there yesterday?" he inquired.

"Hmm…well, her husband came to see them and he stayed for like two or three hours, but he had to leave for this really important work meeting. My mother came because my father is in New York. She was there for probably two hours. I think other than that, though, I was the only one," she explained as she pressed the elevator button.

He nodded in response before stepping onto the empty elevator with her.

"She's so sweet. I think you'll love each other," Haley said sweetly.

"It almost doesn't feel real that I'm her uncle now. Since we're _dating_," he teased.

"Say it again?

"We're dating," he repeated. It sounded so mellifluous to her ears.

She was about to kiss him before the door opened up and two nurses walked into the elevator with them. Instead, she took his hand and smiled at him.

When their floor came up, they quickly exited the elevator. As soon as the door closed, she gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Come on. Their room is this way."

* * *

When they walked into the room, Taylor was sitting up on the bed with her legs crossed. She had one hand on her daughter. Riley was sleeping. She was swaddled in a peach-coloured blanket and a rose-coloured hat.

Taylor looked over at them and smiled. "Hey!" she greeted happily.

"You look especially happy today. Yesterday, you looked kind of like you were on drugs or something. You were completely out of it," Haley commented as she hugged her sister hello.

"I was. Hi, Nathan," she said with a smile. "And of course, I'm happy. I can finally see my legs and touch my feet for the first time in about three months."

Haley smiled before going to look at Riley.

"She's beautiful," Nathan commented.

"Thank you," Taylor answered proudly. She watched as the two of them looked at their newborn niece. "I actually…I wanted to know if you would be her godparents."

The room was dead silent for a second before they both looked up with excitement in their eyes. "Really?" Haley asked.

Taylor nodded. "I mean…her dad wanted his sister to be the godmother, but she lives so far away…and you're my favourite sib—" She quickly stopped and her face got a little paler. "You're my favourite _sister_," she amended, without Haley ever noticing that she even slipped up. "I know that you'd take such great care of her. Both of you."

Haley's fingers eventually found Nathan's hand and they gave it a small squeeze. She wanted this. He nodded.

But he looked at Nathan. What was she just about to say?

* * *

Bella was lying down on Nathan's stomach as Haley changed into her pyjamas.

"I can't believe we're godparents. I mean…I can't believe I'm an aunt! And Nathan, I—"

"Yes, Hales, I know; you're talking at a million miles a minute," he teased.

She scoffed as she turned the light off in their closet and got into bed with him. Bella immediately moved in between them.

"Sorry, Bella. I need to scold your dad right now," Haley said before picking her up and putting her on the ground. She meowed in annoyance before running off to the pile of Nathan's sweatshirts that became her bed.

"Really, Haley?"

She gave him a very annoyed look.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I know. Sarcasm and teasing is your thing, right?"

"Yes, and the sooner you learn that, the better," she told him before cuddling his side. He put his arm around her. "Okay, sorry. I overreacted," she apologized quickly. "But really, I hate it when anyone uses sarcasm. Aside from myself, of course."

"Yes, I can tell," he said before giving her a little kiss on the head. "And by the way, if she's anything like her mother, Bella is going to be very annoyed with you for the next week or so. I've heard that James's can hold a grudge."

"And who did you hear that from?"

"Her best friend who likes to go by Brooke Davis," he blurted.

She shook her head. "I could kill that girl..."

"No, Hales. Don't kill her. I need someone to tell me which shade of blue goes best with my eyes."

Haley tried to suppress her laughter, but she couldn't hold it at all. She burst out in laughter. "You didn't just say that! Nathan—"

"You're going to hold this over my head for the next five years, aren't you?" he inquired bleakly.

She nodded before kissing him on the cheek and turning off the lamp beside her. "Love you, too."

* * *

"Brooke, you're stealing all my lines!" Peyton complained in half a laugh before spooning Chinese into her mouth.

"I want to reassign roles," her friend complained, frowning into her chicken.

Peyton laughed. "We agreed. If you get to be Rapunzel I get to be Ariel, the fair is fair," she insisted.

"Fine. Flynn is much hotter than Eric anyways," Brooke countered and stuck her tongue out.

"I think you mean Eugene," Peyton replied with a smirk.

"Shut. Up," said with her eyes dark. "I just can't imagine moaning Eugene, okay?"

Peyton chuckled. "Lucas' middle name is Eugene ya know? Think of it as 'Euuuu-GENE,'" she mocked.

"Say it with me, 'Flynnnn,'" she said in a sultry voice.

"'Er-IC!'" Peyton responded.

"Do you always yell out the last syllable like this?" Brooke asked, genuinely curious.

Peyton shrugged, twirling her Lo Mein with the plastic fork. "Depends on the orgasm," she sighed.

"Missing orgasms, eh?" Brooke questioned, her eyebrows bouncing. "I would too. I mean Lucas and I go at it, like, all the time. When he finally cut his hair and grew some scruff, damn."

"Brooke, he did that like over a year ago," Peyton reminded her, chuckling.

Brooke nodded. "And it's still fucking hot, alright?"

Peyton shook her head at the brunette. She did miss sex and orgasms and intimacy and everything. The only people she had ever been with were Jake and Lucas and she prided herself in that, so even though she had options they weren't anything she wanted to explore. Sex was always more with Jake; she couldn't imagine hooking up with just anyone. It was more intimate to her than that.

"Have you talked to him since?" Brooke asked Peyton a few silent moments later.

It was Disney night so Lucas obviously wasn't invited. Although if he had joined Peyton had no doubt he would sing 'I Can See the Light' with Brooke and anything else requested. He was well versed in his Disney duets. You couldn't be dating Brooke and not be. Or any of the four of them for that matter. Disney nights were something they had done all throughout their friendship.

Peyton shook her head again. "No. I've been busy with work and I don't know, everything else," she answered.

She told her friend what had happened that night eight days ago leaving out the kiss for Brooke's sake. The intimacy she felt with him she had left out. That was just something she wanted to keep to herself.

People underestimate the power of an apology. She had been so mad at him, was still mad at him, along with angry, upset, disappointed, hurt, heartbroken... the list could go on with all the emotions that swirled through her at the thought of Lucas Scott. But his apology meant something to her—she didn't think that something as simple as a sincere apology would help, but it did.

Her friends had been supportive, Brooke the most with Haley the least and Rachel somewhere in the middle. In the end, they promised they would stand behind her and were there if she needed to talk.

* * *

Jake had taken it bad enough. Every time they talked he asked about his fiancée and commented on how he wished he could 'teach him a lesson' or something manly of the sort.

Besides, Peyton was still newly engaged and didn't want to start a fight about stealing her thunder by dropping the news about Lucas. That was the last thing she needed. Peyton was already planning and her mother was right on board. Her parents weren't on board with her engagement but eventually had accepted it.

* * *

"You're allowed to want to talk to him you know," Haley said in a small voice over the phone to Peyton. Brooke wasn't there as she was in the bathroom.

Peyton shook her head. "It's the fact that I do want him that almost sickens me," she admitted. "I want to sing 'A Whole New World' with him. I want to eat Chinese food with him and hear him complain that I'm not doing it right because I'm not using chopsticks. I want to come home to him playing the guitar," she sniffled. "I want him back and I feel so shitty because of it."

"Peyton," Haley sighed and told her. "Look, I agreed to stand behind you no matter what and that is exactly what I plan on doing. Am I iffy about the situation? one hundred percent, only because I don't want to see Brooke or you get hurt by Lucas. But I will still have your back if you decide to take him back or want to ransack his apartment and set his truck on fire," she promised.

Peyton laughed, wiping her tears. "I think I'd get kicked off the bar for that," she said.

"Not if you aren't in on it," Haley replied. "I know you him want him back, to want all of it back, but that isn't something you can decide until you know tell Brooke about the situation. You can't leave her hanging Peyton. She deserves to know the truth. So until then, I'm a sorry girl, but you're in limbo."

She nodded. "I know. I just wish there was a guide book for this stuff."

"I'm not so sure that would be a best-seller but if anyone can make it work you can," Haley insisted, making Peyton laugh again. "Now, come on, go back to singing 'Poor Unfortunate Souls' with Brooke. Ursula was one badass beeyotch."

* * *

The following weekend was a light one. Peyton threw herself into work after Lucas dropped the honesty bomb she was ahead and feeling more prepared than ever.

But with work under control, her apartment almost too clean, her friends busy, and personally worried about working out too much she was left with nothing to do.

The extra time in her hands left her at Karen's Café, trying not to think about Lucas. She hadn't seen him since that day over a week ago. He had just signed onto the project so she assumed he was busy with that.

Whether it was a good or bad thing she didn't know. Haley was right, she was in limbo and she hated it, but she also didn't want it to end either. She did want him back, want what they had back, but knowing the truth and handling the truth were two different things.

Not knowing she could pretend somehow she could take him back after everything and have a full, wonderful life again with Lucas.

Knowing and not being able to forgive him would leave her at square one all over again and she knew she would not be able to handle being left all over again. Even if he did promise to fight for her it would feel like him leaving all over again, she knew it.

That kind of love wasn't just something you got over or left behind if it was an option again, not unless it was toxic or something else of the sort. And she didn't know if it was toxic yet, that wasn't something she could judge until she knew everything.

So when she sat in Karen's Café working and saw Lucas coming down the steps from the loft she didn't know how to react.

He was staying in the loft? She hadn't known that. How could he stay there after everything? It took her almost six months to be able to even come to Karen's Café for coffee and he was _living_ back in the loft again? She hadn't been able to even set foot in there.

She avoided eye contact by looking down at her book.

"_50 Shades of Grey_?" a voice questioned from above her.

Peyton looked up and rolled her lips together, trying to hold back a laugh. "Really?"

Lucas grinned and sat down on the armchair catty-corner to her on the couch. "It was just a guess," he replied, chuckling a little as he did.

"_Little Women,_ actually," she informed him, reaching for her coffee cup.

"I've been rereading Fitzgerald myself," he responded.

Lucas couldn't help but smile. "You always were a sucker for him," she commented.

"One of my non-guilty pleasures," he told her, his blue eyes shining. "That was one of the many great things you did for me, expand my literary pallet," he went on.

"In more than one language," she couldn't help but agree.

"I still think T_he Catcher and the Rye_ is better in English," he mentioned.

"And I still hate subtitles," Peyton insisted.

"Okay, that's not fair. Noir doesn't have to be in subtitles, just most of the ones I made you watch were. It is one of the great genres, okay?" he responded sternly.

"That was not the only genre you made me watch in a different language! There were countless! I mean, Eisenstein, Godard-"

"You can't just list them off like that! They are some of the best directors in the business." Lucas cut her off. "I mean, the Odessa steps scene is legendary and even you admitted to liking _Breathless_," he reminded her. "Besides, if it was in French you understood it."

"Yeah, but you can't help but read the subtitles if they are there!" she exclaimed. "But I still hated the girls in Godard's films, in _Breathless and Contempt_."

Lucas nodded. "I'll give you that, but they had their reasons for doing the things they did," he mumbled.

"I loved the screwball movies though," she murmured.

He chuckled. "You did pee yourself during _Bringing Up Baby_," he said.

"We agreed to never tell anyone about that!" she warned, trying to stop herself from laughing.

"I haven't, you knew about it, therefore, I could bring it up," Lucas insisted. "_What's Up Doc?_ was a whole different story," he added, grinning at her.

Peyton smiled back at him, unable to help herself.

Not many knew Lucas was a film junkie and once they'd gotten together and Peyton had told him she wasn't the biggest movie person he'd been left agape. So they'd made a deal if he read books suggested by her she'd watch movies chosen by him and with him. They'd gone through countless genres over the years, noir, screwball, classics, and you couldn't forget Georges Méliès who was the driving force of early cinema. He made her watch _A Trip to the Moon_ and _Hugo_ probably ten times altogether.

It had been worth it. Most of the movies she enjoyed and she also enjoyed having literary spats with him about the likes of _The Great Gatsby, The Road, The Grapes of Wrath_, and countless other novels. She also got him to sit through the Vagina Monologues in Phili one year. He admitted to enjoying it.

It was one of the many things she loved about their relationship, how they taught each other things and brightened the other's horizons. He challenged her in other ways.

So even though she was mad at Lucas and there was so much unspoken between them she couldn't help but close her book and sit up before asking "Seen any good movies lately?"

It was unknown to her how long it had been or how it had happened but she and Lucas had slipped into an effortless conversation like they always did. They'd even ended up on the couch together with an assortment of treats and coffee to share between them.

"That is a lie!" she yelled indignantly, a pout on her face.

Lucas grinned into his coffee cup. "Believe what you want," he mumbled.

"No! I never stood on the table and sang 'Party in the USA'!" she insisted.

"Peyton, I clearly remember-"

"No! I didn't sing 'Party in the USA' on my eighteenth birthday. I sang 'The Climb,'" she corrected him. "A much better song, do not argue with me on that part either," she went on laughing.

Lucas nodded. "Okay fine, either way, you sang a Miley Cyrus song," he reminded her.

"Alright, on your birthday you stood on the roof of your truck and sang 'You Are So Beautiful' to me," she told him with a pointed look, ignoring the intimacy of the topic as they had been doing all night.

"A much better song than either of the songs you did or did not sing," he replied without missing a beat.

"Yeah, well then you fell off the roof and got a concussion," she finished the story. "All I did was lose my dignity."

Lucas's chest jumped up and down as he laughed heartily. "Hey, I had fun staying up all night with you," he said.

"You had fun!? I was worried sick. Every time you closed your eyes I thought you were going to slip into a coma. It was horrible," she chuckled about it now. "And Nathan wasn't any help insisting you drink more," she muttered.

"You have got to let that go. It was my eighteenth birthday, what was I supposed to do?" he questioned.

"Um, placate your worrywart girlfriend?" she responded.

He smiled. "I was under the influence. I've said I'm sorry like a hundred times. So here's one more. I'm sorry," he apologized while looking her in the eye.

She knew he was saying sorry for more than his birthday all those years ago. He was once again saying sorry for what he did almost three years ago now.

In an instant, the mood had changed from talking film and literature and bouts of nostalgia to something much more serious.

"I know," she whispered, unable to look away from his eyes. "But it- it's not that easy," she said in a barely audible tone.

Lucas put his coffee down and nodded. "I know. I've never been sorrier in my life, regretted anything more."

"Concussions are more common for you if you've had them before," she mentioned. "And you're more prone to headaches and-"

"Peyt," Lucas cut her off in a low tone. "You don't have to list off the side effects of concussions if you want to change the subject. Just... start talking about something else," he offered.

She looked down, breaking the trance his eyes often had on her. "I-I want to pretend like," she stopped. "It was so nice just-"

"Peyton, that night happened," Lucas stated, lifting her chin so she had to look at him. It reminded her of six days ago when he did the same thing. "We can sit here and reminisce all we want, but that night is not something we can choose to forget, even if we both wish we could."

Without thinking she grabbed the fingers under her chin and moved his hand to cup her cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Peyton, do not apologize to me," he said in a hard tone, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. "I'd be so glad if you could forgive me," he began a few moments later when her eyes watered. "But what I want, and what is all too selfish of me, is for you to forget."

She sniffled and cupped his face with her free hand, loving the feel of him too much. It was the first sober touch that she had whole-heartedly welcomed and so she relished in it.

"I want to forget too," she murmured.

"But you can't, neither of us can," he matched her voice. "I don't know what I thought when I came back here. I thought that you'd see me and some sort of amnesia would come over you and that night would be wiped just because I got the guts to come back," he admitted childishly.

"I'd rather have amnesia than a concussion," she teased and he chuckled.

He smiled. "I don't know, I remember my birthday very well despite the alcohol and head injury," he said. "I remember lying in the back of my truck with my head in your lap looking at the stars," he went on. "Your fingers running through my hair as you kept me talking so I wouldn't fall asleep."

"It was a great birthday," she chuckled, blinking away the tears.

"Does this mean you're over me drinking after getting the concussion?" he asked, his eyes suddenly bright.

Peyton couldn't help but bust out laughing. She laughed so hard she doubled over; not caring that her face was near Lucas's crotch and it should have been awkward. She laughed so hard that Lucas started laughing with her.

* * *

It must have been five minutes that they were laughing because her stomach started to hurt which only caused her to laugh more. Different kinds of tears filled her eyes and she wiped them as she began to calm down.

"Yes, Luke, I think I can manage to forgive you for getting a concussion on your birthday," she finally answered him.

Lucas was still chuckling a little bit. "Ah, what a great day," he sighed.

"I'm really having fun tonight," she admitted, smiling as she looked at him.

He picked up a muffin and handed it to her. "Me too. Now tell me what it's like to finally to own a record label," he insisted, picking at the top of her muffin-like he used to before.

Peyton tore a piece off and held it up. "I tell you about being to be apart of the music industry if you tell me about being a fancy-schmancy author, deal?" she compromised before throwing the piece into his mouth.

As always Lucas caught it. "Deal, but you only get to ask a question every time you catch one," he replied, ripping his own piece off and tossed it back at her.

It bounced off her nose. "Not fair! You suck at throwing!" she accused.

"No, you suck at catching it. I am good at both throwing and catching," he corrected her with a smirk.

"Not true! Your theory has not been tested so you cannot make such statements," she responded with her arms crossed.

Lucas shook his head at her. "How am I supposed to argue with you now? It's your profession!" he whined.

Peyton smiled and sat up excitedly. "Yep, so you better pick your battles wisely," she warned.

"Noted," he said. "So, I get the first question. I already caught one. Tell me about working for a non-profit, it seems really interesting."

Only Lucas would want to hear about the inner workings of the non-profit firm. It was mostly paperwork she learned during her many internships and usually, her friends listened to her stories but were never really all that interested, not that she minded. She knew parts of her job were boring, but she liked it anyway. And it was nice to have someone to gush to about it, even the boring parts.

They traded question for question. She learned about his schooling and the people he'd worked within New York, how much he loved designing houses and other types of structures. Bridges were something he had trouble with, but he still enjoyed it. His specialty was the houses; he liked thinking of who was going to live in it and having meetings with whoever wanted their house designed. He graduated at the top of his class and took summer courses so it would only take him the two years.

Although she was unsure of how he would take it she told him how she graduated a semester late because of how hard it was to focus on school after he left. Of course, she added how she passed the bar with flying colours. He learned about how her family was disappointed with her decision to not join the family practice and rolled his eyes at it. She liked that and told him the story about her first time in front of a judge sitting the first chair to lighten the mood—it was a story she was embarrassed about and Andrew had to step in and help because she almost fainted.

They'd managed to avoid the elephant in the room and she'd been grateful. She knew if she asked too much about why he left he'd tell her, after all, they were being honest now, but she still wasn't ready.

It was like she'd gotten a part of him back, her best friend, and she wasn't ready to have that tainted just yet, especially since it felt like it was going to happen soon.

"Thanks for walking me home even though it was only a few blocks and you were already home," she said again as they stood out front of her apartment building.

"Well, Tree Hill just has such a high crime rate, ya know," he joked.

"Oh yeah the body count is going up each year," she continued.

Lucas smiled. "It was the gentlemanly thing to do," he insisted.

She ducked her head. He always was a gentleman. Without a chance to talk herself out of it she reached forward and hugged him. "It was nice today," she whispered into his shoulder.

He buried his head in her neck like he always used to. "It was."

"I lo-" she started to say, but stopped herself. She quickly pulled away, silently cursing herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean- well, I did mean, but I didn't mean and," she began to ramble fervently.

"Peyton," Lucas cut her off. "Don't worry about it," he assured her.

She couldn't look him in the eye. She almost told him she loved him. How stupid was she? It would have been true, but it was not something they should be saying at all to each other. There was still too much unknown and she hated it. Stupid fuckin' limbo.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, staring at the ground.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin to look at him once again. He kept doing that and it kept having too much of an effect on her. "I wanted to say it first anyway," he murmured.

Her eyes widened as she had about Deja vu. That was what she had said when they first said 'I love you' to one another.

For some time she just looked up at him. They had just said they loved each other without saying the words she and was torn between crying and wanting to rip his clothes off.

"I-I think you should come inside," she finally whispered.

Lucas nodded. "Whatever you want, Peyton."

She'd unlocked the building door and he silently followed her up the steps to her second-floor apartment.

"Nice place," he commented, probably to fill the awkward silence once they'd actually gotten inside the space.

Peyton just turned around to face him. "I can't do this anymore, Luke," she stated. He looked at her worried and confused and about a million other emotions. "Live in limbo. I need to know why you want me. I need to know what caused you to throw away your future with Brooke."

He nodded again. "I told you I would tell you when you were ready," he agreed. "Do you want to sit?" he asked.

"No. I want to know. Just tell me," she almost pleaded, her eyes already watering.

* * *

_Okay, I got a lot of backlash last chapter with people leaving me reviews that they were done with this story, that I played them by using BL as a trigger etc. **I just want to make this clear, I have stated numerous times that they will be a love triangle involved with this story, that Lucas and Peyton, are gonna start having an affair behind Jake and Brooke's back. Ultimately, it's not enough though, because Lucas realizes he has been and will always be in love with Brooke, and his feelings for Peyton was just lust.** I don't understand why people are upset at me for doing this even though I mentioned in the first two chapters. I understand people's frustrations but to say I am leading you guys on, that I'm doing the brucas fans dirty, 'insulting your intelligence', my 'story is a fraud' or just insulting me is just ridiculous to me. It saddens me that people think I've chosen to do any of those things. I really did not think I would have received the backlash I got in the last chapter. I thought people would have understood the direction I was taking the story in and would be okay with there being Leyton centric storylines. **I WILL STATE HERE AND NOW**** THAT ****BRUCAS IS ENDGAME that is the goal in this story.** I understand moving forward if people choose not to read this story anymore, but please refrain from leaving nasty comments. I am sorry to those I hurt with this love-triangle situation that was not my intention at all. I knew the love triangle would make for a good story, but I sincerely apologize to those I have hurt or have felt lead on. Moving forward, I promise to be clearer about the situations/conflicts I use in my story._

_Another issue I would like to address even though I already have is talked about this is for the umpteenth time but **I HAVE NOT STOLEN ANYONE ELSE'S WORK! ALL OF THE CHAPTERS ARE WRITTEN BY ME. THEY ARE SOME STORYLINES THAT HAVE BEEN BORROWED FROM THE SHOW, WITH CHARACTER'S NAME'S CHANGED TO FIX IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY! HOWEVER, ALL OTHER WORK PRESENTED IN THIS STORY IS MINE. ANYTHING SIMILAR IS PURELY CONCIDENTIAL.** I am sick of having to address this issue in every chapter. I really don't know how to tell you guys over and over again that this is my work. I have not plagiarised from anyone. To call me or my story a fraud is just mean._

_I don't have time nor the energy to answer the reviews as they mainly centre around the above mentioned comment. _

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of this chapter! The Jeyton wedding will be next chapter! _

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon!_

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N:** So for this chapter, I have decided to jump back into the present for a moment that will mainly be focused on Nathan and Haley and their relationship. I know the constant back and forth is confusing but bear with me. Also, I am really sorry for not posting in a while, I have been going through mental health struggles but I thought I would hop back on and post a chapter for you guys. We'll be back into the past next chapter and we'll see everything play out. Enjoy!_

* * *

_"When the sun has set, no candle can replace it."_  
_― George R.R. Martin_

* * *

**Chapter 21 **

**June 20, 2010**

Before Haley he liked to consider himself just a little bit broken, the type of broken where it doesn't quite work right but not useless enough to throw it away just yet.

In the grand scheme of things he'd done alright with the hand, he was dealt, especially since it was a shitty one. The point was he'd done the best he could and accepted that his life would be lonely, after all, he was an introvert, and there would probably be little to no love in it.

His mother was a handful, but she was his handful. Most of the time he knew how to react to her sleeping all day, to her getting him out of bed at three AM to go on some sort of adventure that never ended well, to his father ignoring the problem altogether.

It wasn't until he was older than he'd realized it wasn't normal, that his mother was bi-polar and not every six years old missed nearly two weeks of school because their mother decided to go to Niagara Falls. They never made it to Niagara Falls, but they did end up somewhere out west in a town he couldn't remember the name of for the life of him. What he did remember was begging his mother to get out of the hotel bed and to take him home.

That was the first time Deb had been hospitalized. She was out of his life for three months and his dad thought seeing her in rehab would do more harm than good. Of course, in true Dan Scott fashion, there was no talking about it because there was nothing to talk about. Deb was simply away getting help.

When she returned she was better than ever, healthy, happy even. She was on medication for many years and she was diligent about taking the doses when subscribed. At thirteen his mom took another turn for the worse and for a year he did his best to try and be there for her. He thought if he loved her enough that she'd get better again, be the mom who was always eccentric, but extremely lovable.

She didn't. She was sent to rehab again and one day after therapy she stole a key from an orderly and jumped off the top of the building.

Dan didn't know how to talk to him about it, so he didn't, not really.

The summer after his mother's passing he'd spent with his grandfather, trying to love him back to health too. And it'd worked, but only barely. Nathan knew his grandfather only kept his will to live because of him and he'd been grateful, knowing without him and their summer together he'd probably have lost his will too.

He wasn't a people person, a trait he'd been told he was given by said grandfather because his mother loved people. She never quite noticed how awkward situations were and maybe that was why he didn't like people because he'd grown up seeing them react badly to his mother's out-there personality. There were few people he could stand for long periods of time and during the time after his mother died and before he met Haley he'd liked no one.

He'd given up on the world, people, and love until Haley agreed to tutor him. He would always remember the day he got his first Math test back after being tutored by her.

_Math was his last class of the day, much to the annoyance of Haley. She hated having to wait all day for him to take the test and hated waiting for him to get the test back even more._

_The day of the test she'd found him in between every class to ask him a Math-related question. During lunch, she'd drilled him on equations. Then before the test, she'd walked him to class and just about hyperventilated before he went in. He'd spent the last two minutes before the bell reassuring her he would be fine._

_It was the first time someone had so genuinely cared about him since his mother died. He was deeply touched by it and when he walked out of the classroom to find Haley standing there with an expectant look on her face he couldn't help but kiss her almost as deeply as he felt. It was that night he officially asked her to be his girlfriend._

_"What did you get? Did you get them back right? She didn't forget, did she? She told me you were getting them back today," she quickly rambled on once he walked out of the classroom at the end of the day._

_Nathan couldn't help but grin at his adorable girlfriend. It was an amazing feeling having someone who cared about him and his well-being on a normal basis. The simple things like asking how his day was or texting him in the morning before school to make sure he was going brightened his outlook on life. She cared and she wasn't afraid to show it. She didn't look at him as a pariah like others did after his mother killed herself or think he pulled the heads off squirrels in his spare time since he didn't like talking to anyone or play the high school popularity game. That was one of the more humorous rumours that he'd heard about himself._

_"Hales," he tried to stop her, but with no paper in his hands or jump of glee upon seeing her she was convinced it was either no news or bad news. He was still trying to get used to having people to talk to, someone to share the good news with, or bad for that matter. "Haley!" he exclaimed and took her shoulders in his hands in an attempt to stop her._

_"We will study harder for the next one, I promise. I've only been tutoring you for like two months and it was your first big test, it's normal to have anxiety-"_

_He cut her off with a kiss to the lips. Neither of them was huge on PDA, but they didn't act like a couple either. When he pulled away she was blinking and one of those oblivious smiles appeared on her face. "Hales, I got a B."_

_Her eyes widened at this and threw her entire body into his arms, knocking him back into the lockers. "Nathan! I'm so proud of you!" she squealed in his ear._

_He was so happy that he'd made her happy he didn't even care his ear was ringing. "It's your B, Hales. After every question, I heard you in my mind teaching me how to do everything. I think even Ms. Bernard was impressed with me," he informed her as they pulled away._

_"She should have been! It's amazing, Nathan, on the next one we'll get an A, I promise," she swore, her arms still around his neck._

_Their noses brushed together. "Well, I do spend a lot of time with my tutor, so it could be possible," he commented, making her smile. "But I am happy with a B. I was getting F's before you; I don't need an A to feel accomplished. Your smile is enough for me."_

_"You're cute," she whispered before kissing him lightly. "How about dinner tonight? On me in honour of your beautiful B?" she questioned._

_"How about dinner tonight on me because you're beautiful?" he countered, a grin tugging on his lips._

_Red flooded her cheeks. "Tie? I'll pay for you and you pay for me?"_

_He knew she wasn't used to being called beautiful or gorgeous or pretty much any other adjective besides smart she was embarrassed by. He was determined that one day he could tell her just how unbelievably attractive she was to him and instead of blushing she'd just smile and kiss him._

_"I think I can handle that, but you're not allowed to be a girly girl, alright? It's a celebration, you're not allowed to get a salad and you're getting dessert," he insisted._

_"Mm, can we get Italian then? I could really go for some pasta," she stated, the smile never leaving her face._

_Nathan kissed her cheek. "As long as it's not French,"_

* * *

So before Haley James, he'd considered himself just a little bit broken because even though he hated the world and most people in it he was still managing alright. But after her, he knew he was broken beyond repair so after a while he'd just simply stopped trying to pick up the pieces. It felt like he'd lost most of the pieces anyways and he'd never be complete even if he tried.

She was the light of his life. Almost every good memory he had contained her in some way. He'd even gotten his best friend through her. It was during times like this that he could no longer ignore the guilt eating his gut, the pain coursing through his heart, and the ache that enveloped his whole being. So he gave in.

It'd been a long time since he gave in. Perhaps a little after his mother died, he supposed, but before he began to plan his re-emergence into Tree Hill, North Carolina.

Maybe he should have just stayed in New York. There was no real happiness there, but there was a routine. He learned to go through the motions, to build some sort of life, even if it was half a life, it was a life he could live with.

But his mother had died and he'd made a promise, a promise he was going to keep this time. Why the fuck did he have to make that promise?

That was how his brother found him, during his binge in the stupid fucking loft he once shared with the girl he couldn't get his mind off of.

"Ah, Nate, what the fuck?" his friend questioned his face already in a grimace at the sight of him. Nathan barely looked at him. "Did you buy a liquor store or something?"

At this, the blue-eyed man raised his glass of scotch. "No, but that would be a damn fine investment, wouldn't it?" he responded in a slight slur.

"Did you go to work today? Or this last week? I thought when you said you were busy you meant actually busy, you know, with your job, and your side project or whatever," Lucas sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Nathan stood and went to the kitchen. "Of course I went to my job, I'm not irresponsible," he insisted, pouring himself another drink. "I drink after work and go to work hungover."

"So this is how it is going to be? You hit your first roadblock with Haley and you're going to give up, drink your problems away, fuck everything up more?" Lucas questioned, walking over to his best friend.

"When I want your opinion on my life and the way I choose to live it I will fucking ask for it," Nathan replied, his eyes dark.

Lucas was used to this Nathan. This was the Nathan he'd nursed back to health after leaving Haley. Brooke thought he was with his mom, but he was really in New York trying to figure out why his best friend ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. It wasn't the real him, the Nathan he knew would do anything for a friend, would lay down his life for Haley, give up anything for her, and that was exactly what he'd done. He fucked up their future because he thought he was saving hers.

With this Nathan, he'd learned how to bring him back from the darkness that Haley had once saved him from. It took time, but eventually, he'd learned and he also knew not to get offended when his best friend said mean things. He would apologize so much later that it would get annoying actually, but he just didn't know how to handle all the dark inside him when he got like this so he drank and gave in to his demons.

"That's the thing about brothers, Nate, we tell you what's going on whether you want to hear it or not. And the truth is you look like shit, you're acting like an asshole, and you are better than this," Lucas informed him.

"I'm better than this?" Nathan laughed into his cup. "I left her at the altar. How did I ever think I could even try to get her back? I don't deserve her back. I don't deserve anything after what I've done," he went on. "So you know what I am going to do? I am going to suffer through this damn contract with Sweeney and then I am going back to New York. Well, there is nothing left for me anymore so maybe I'll go somewhere else. I hear London is nice, do you think that's far enough away from this God forsaken town?" he blubbered on in between sips of scotch.

Lucas shook his head. "So you're just going to give up?" he asked. "You're just going to lose faith in yourself and the future you two could have again?"

"I don't need this," Nathan replied, brushing by him, but before he could reach his friend took the glass from his hand and threw it across the room. "Luke, what the fuck is the matter with you, man?" he demanded, pushing on his chest.

"What the fuck is the matter with me, what the fuck is the matter with you? For months all I heard from you was this big elaborate plan you had to come back to Tree Hill and make everything right with Haley. You talked about it so much it got annoying, but I didn't say one word because I wanted you back, because with the conviction in your voice I knew you could do it. What the hell happen?ed Haley snapped at you and you run away with your balls in your hand because you're fucking afraid to use them," he stated.

"Don't act like you know what I'm going through," Nathan growled.

"I don't know what the fuck you're going through because I will never walk away from Brooke again and I know damn well that when we get married I'm not going to pussy out and run away as you did," Lucas responded.

Nathan took a swing and with his height and muscle advantage Lucas would have probably been knocked out, but Nathan also had alcohol in his system so he had the upper hand.

Lucas grabbed his arm and maneuvered his best friend across the apartment and into the bathroom. He pushed him into the shower, not caring that he tumbled into the tub and could have gotten hurt. He turned the water on and let it drench his fully-clothed best friend.

"Luke! Fuck, it's cold!" Nathan shouted, trying to fight him, but to no avail.

"Good, this is your wake up call," Lucas stated, trying to restrain his drunken friend. After another minute he slapped the water off and Nathan wiped his face with his hands. "You need to stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself and start trying to get your girl back. Because this Nathan is not one that Haley would love," he said and tossed him a towel.

Nathan didn't move from his position. "I don't think there is a Nathan she would love," he murmured, resting his head on the tile.

"That's bullshit. I think you're more scared of having this plan of yours work than you are of it failing," Lucas said, sitting on the edge of the basin. "Shit's never gone well for you. That is why when given the chance to run you took it, even if you immediately regretted it. I know you, you thought seven years was a good run and decided to live the rest of your life alone and miserable if it meant Haley could have an amazing life," he went on. "But you were fucking wrong. There is no amazing life for her without you."

"I want everything back the way it was but it never will be like that again. Even if I-" he stopped himself. "She deserves so much more than me. I've spent the last two years trying to make myself into something worthy of her and I'm still not even close."

Lucas nodded. "You're probably right. But I think that's how it is supposed to work. If you think you deserve her you don't. I sure as hell know Brooke is better than me. I thank God every day that I get to wake up next to her. I think it's time you wake up in the morning to more than an empty bed, don't you?" he asked.

The man in the tub was quiet, shrugged after a minute, still unsure of himself.

"Do you remember what you said to me after Dan first came in to contact with me in high school?" he'd finally spoken up after a few moments.

"I sure as hell didn't throw you into a cold shower," Nathan grumbled, drying his face.

"You said that we wouldn't be us if we didn't believe in second chances," Lucas began again. "By then I'd already fucked up with Brooke and she'd taken me back and you were with Haley, thinking you might actually have a future beyond your introverted lifestyle with friends and a girl you loved," he went on. "So I went to Montecito and for the first time in my life I had a family, real flesh and blood family." Nathan nodded, not saying anything. "And I didn't know what I wanted to do because I loved Brooke but I loved my mom too. Do you remember what you told me then?"

Nathan leaned against the tile wall. "I told you that the real saying of 'blood is thicker than water' was 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' which means that sometimes the relationships forged by choice can hold a deeper meaning than those of biology. That even though you found your real family, you had a family here too because I considered you my brother."

Lucas nodded. "And I decided to stay here and visit my mom on and off during the year because you're a brother too. You are my family, Nate, and I am not going to stand by and watch you fuck up more of your life. I wasn't there to stop you when you walked out two years ago, but I am going to stop you from going down this path now," he stated. "So you need to get off your fucking high horse and fight for her because if you really want her that is what you're going to have to do."

"What if she doesn't want me?" Nathan asked quietly, refusing to meet his brother's eyes.

"Are you more scared that she won't or that she will?" Lucas countered. "You once told me that Haley saved you from the darkness of your past, right?"

"Do you remember every fucking thing I say?" Nathan asked, getting a little annoyed.

Lucas laughed. "The important shit, yeah, don't you listen to me?" They both smiled at each other a little bit.

"Yes, I remember," Nathan said to appease him.

"Well, it's your turn to save her from the darkness of hers and unfortunately, that darkness was caused by you," Lucas stated. "She does love you, Nathan, and you have to show her those baby blue eyes she loves so much, takes your shirt off, and do whatever it was you did that made her do that weird yelping thing we all heard through the walls to remind her."

To this Nathan couldn't help but laugh. "When did you get so philosophical and shit?" he wondered.

"Brooke makes me watch chick flicks _a lot_ and dealing with a girl who has so many emotions makes you learn real fast about the other sex or you fight way too much, plus those Steinbeck books come in handy," he answered honestly.

"You've always been able to read Brooke though," Nathan mentioned as he let out a deep breath.

"And you've always been able to get through to Haley, whether she closed herself off because of her parents or school or whatever. You were the only person who was ever able to break her down so it's time you remember that," Lucas insisted.

"You're seriously scaring me, you know," he replied. "Like, you're becoming Yoda of dating and relationships in a weird way."

"I have ulterior motives," Lucas told him, shrugging nonchalantly. "My life would be so much easier if you were back in the clan and my sex life would be better too."

Nathan nodded in understanding. He knew he asked a lot of his brother in the past two years, the secrets and lies he had to harbour; it could not have been easy on his relationship.

"And I can't have a wedding where my bride hates the best man," he added on.

Nathan groaned. "Fuck," he swore before turning the cold water on again as his best friend laughed at him.

* * *

He was never one for cemeteries, even after his mother died.

For a long time, he was mad at her and didn't want to see her. A lot of the time death isn't chosen, it chooses you, whether it be cancer, old age, an accident. It wasn't that way for his mother. She chose to give up, to leave him alone in a world he didn't understand, to never be able to be at his graduations, wedding, or any other big life events.

It wasn't until Haley that he visited his mother's grave. It was the second time since her funeral he'd been to it.

The first time since the funeral was after his first "confrontation" with Lindsey. To him, if his mother hadn't given up Lindsey wouldn't have been in his life and he wouldn't have to deal with the hell he was living in. He'd been so upset he used his keys to carve his own name above hers because it felt like he'd died with her, especially after Lindsey. It was like a piece of him died every time he had to be inside her and for a long time, he blamed his mother.

Haley changed it for him. Of course, she had been right. By never talking about his mother's death, his anger, he was stuck in time with it, never really moving on from it. When he started being physical with her he began to move past the Lindsey debacle but never quite dealt with his mother's death. She'd made it safe for him to open up about it.

For hours they'd sit in her room barely talking, music playing the background, the house empty. She'd told him he didn't have to say anything at all, there was no pressure, but if he ever felt ready to just start. She told him to take his time because she wasn't going anywhere, but if he wasn't going to talk his anger wasn't going anywhere either. And if he didn't want to talk she was fine with cuddling with him, kissing him on and off, and just enjoying his company.

It took three attempts before he just started talking and once he'd started it was like he couldn't stop. He told her everything, the good times and bad, the hellish adventures he'd been on and the ones that went well. She'd held him tight at the right times and offered her shoulders during others. Not once did she make him feel bad about his feelings, she'd just listened and when he was done she told him she loved him. Then she got out of bed and asked him to follow her.

They ended up at the cemetery. She took him to his mother's grave and told him to tell his mom how he felt. At first, he'd felt stupid talking to a wall with his mother's name on it, but it'd helped. What also helped was him punching that wall twenty minutes into it. It took a long time but eventually, he'd come to peace with his other's passing, understanding that she didn't want to leave him, that she was sick in her own way and he had to realize that.

After that, he'd visited the cemetery every few months just to talk, sometimes with Haley, but often without. He hadn't been to visit since before he left Tree Hill, before the wedding, before everything.

So a few nights later when he felt restless in his apartment he decided to take a walk and ended up staring at his mother's name engraved in the stone, his own still etched above it. In a way, he liked that his name was above it because Nathan was dead. He'd become a better Nathan with time, with Nathan and friends, he was someone his mother would be proud of.

The Nathan he was now probably not so much.

"Hey, Mom," he greeted his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. "I'm sorry it's been-" he stopped. "I'm fucking everything up Mom," he whispered a few moments later. "Dad always said that was what I did best, not in those words though, you know him and swearing. If I say 'suck' he still reprimands me," he continued to think out loud.

A knot formed in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. It was times like this he needed his mother. He needed to talk to her, advice from her, that motherly hug she was so good at, even when she couldn't get out of bed she'd always hugged him.

"Do you remember how before school you used to hug me? But it wasn't a normal hug, it was long and motherly and it was always that way before school. If I missed that hug you would be so upset with me and I asked why one day," he began to ramble. "You said that the rest of the world wasn't like me, that I was sensitive and kind-hearted and people could be really mean, especially kids. So before school you'd give me that long hug for strength and send me off into the unknown," he went on. "I just could really use one of those hugs right now, Mom."

The silence around him was deafening, just a reminder that he'd never get a hug like that ever again. The only one who had ever come close was Nathan.

"I don't know what to do. I thought if I came back and saw her that she'd- I'm so stupid. I left her. I left her, I promised her I'd never do that, that I'd never turn my back on her like her family always did and I- I'm not that sensitive and kind-hearted boy anymore, Mom. I'm the person you used to wish I'd never get hurt by. God, if you were here you never would have let me leave that morning. I would be married right now, I'd be _happy_," he choked on his last word and placed his hands on either side of her name.

He focused on breathing so he wouldn't get too emotional.

"I need to be that man you knew I could grow up to be, the man Haley was in love with. I need to try, I need to believe that I can fix this," he began a few minutes later. "I just don't know-how. I thought- I don't know what I thought. How do you plan to make the girl you valued more than your own life fall in love with you again? The girl you'd hurt so much you don't even know if you deserve a second chance?" he stopped and sighed. "I need her, Mom, even if she can only let me back into her life as a friend I'll take it. I need her or I'm not me, at least not a me that you'd be proud of. She makes me better; she brings out all the qualities in me you loved the most."

His thumb rubbed the M in Mother underneath her name.

"So I am going to fight like hell for her. It's going to be hard and I'm going to get shot down and hurt because her verbal lashings are legendary. But I have to do it because I promised Dan and I don't know if I can handle disappointing him, you, and Haley. I need to follow through with one of my promises to make up for others. If there is one thing you showed me it was how to love and I am going to do my damnedest to love her enough for the both of us until she can attempt to really love me back again," he promised.

After another few minutes, he'd left the cemetery, having gotten too emotional and sat down on a bench outside of the iron gates. He wasn't ready to go home to the loft. It was torture living there, but it was the kind of torture he felt he deserved. Sometimes before he opened his eyes in the morning he forgot. He'd roll over to Haley's side and want to nestle into the crook of her neck and gently wake her with soft kisses. She once told him it was the best possible way to wake up. Her hand would thread into his hair and a light moan would make her neck vibrate. That soft moan did too many things to his body in the morning.

He'd rolled over almost every morning since he'd moved into the loft to wake Haley that way only to find cold sheets and disappointment.

He rubbed his eyes and rested his face in his hands. How did he manage to fuck everything up so much? He had everything, _everything_ with her, and without her, he felt as if he had nothing.

"Nathan?"

His neck snapped to look at the voice.

"Haley," he grunted, clearing his throat. "I- um, what're you...? I mean, hi," he greeted. It was the one person he'd wanted to see, the one person he knew could help ease the pain his mother's death that he would always carry.

She approached him wearing a gold fancy dress, her hair perfectly styled, a purse in her hand. "Visiting your mom?" she questioned, ignoring the formalities. He didn't blame her, he was lucky she was even speaking to him.

"Uh, yeah. It was more intense than I thought it would be," he answered, doing his best to stay composed. "You look beautiful, I mean-"

"Thank you," she cut him off. "Work thing, the mayor was holding a fundraiser, my parents were there too," she filled in his blanks.

He grinned. "Sounds like a fun time," he chuckled. She bit her lip and hid a smile. Encouraged he asked, "Want to sit?" Wordlessly she sat. He wondered why she was bothering with him at all after their last meeting, after everything he'd put her through. It was probably that he was upset over his mom. "Hales, I- I am so sorry," he finally apologized.

She looked over at him, eyes wide. "For?"

"Everything I've done. I'm sorry for leaving you, for not giving you any answers, for keeping secrets and trying to be covert about what I was doing and why I was doing it. I'm not James Bond, I mean, I'm pretty boring and you deserve every answer to any question you ask without any hoops," he explained.

They were both quiet for over a minute. "Thank you, for apologizing," she eventually spoke up.

"I'll say it every day, every hour if that is what you want. It's what you deserve. You never deserved anything I did to you, anything bad I mean. I'd say I'm sorry to you every minute if it'd help you forgive me," he responded.

"But it won't," she whispered.

He nodded, knowing this to be true. Lucas was right, he had to try for her, not just wait for her to fall into his arms because that was not going to happen. "I know it won't, but you needed to hear it. I'll say it as many times as you need, Hales."

She nodded this time. "I want answers, Nathan, but I don't know if I'm ready for all of them yet," she admitted.

"Ask what you want. I'll answer," he replied, looking over at her. "Right now if you'd like."

Haley looked right back at him. "Why did you come back?"

It didn't surprise him she wanted answers right then. "For you," he answered easily and honestly. He was done trying to be cool with the whole thing. It was time to be real. "I messed everything up, but my feelings for you were never something that wavered."

She looked down, happy he hadn't said the words, the three words she was sure she would break down upon hearing. "Why now?"

"I finished my degree, I sold my dad's house, finally, it was time," he told her. "I've been trying to make myself into something better, something worthy of you, something your parents would approve of. I don't know," he mumbled on.

"I didn't need you to be anything more than you were," she whispered. "I didn't care if you were an NBA player or a sports agent for the rest of our lives as long as you were happy," she insisted.

Nathan nodded. "I know." She couldn't even look at him. "Because I don't think I could stay away from you any longer," he added on quietly, trying not to sound too vulnerable even though with one bad word she had the power to devour his soul right then and there. And he'd probably deserve it.

"I'm sorry your dad died," she apologized a few moments later. He looked over, wide-eyed. "Rachel told me."

He nodded. Haley would have found out about his interactions with Rachel sooner or later. "Thank you. And don't be mad at Rach, I made her not tell you we were speaking," he insisted.

"I know. She told me. I'm not mad. She was trying to help me," Haley murmured.

Nathan let out a long breath. "He left me the house but asked me to sell it. They owned it so I got a profit; it was what he wanted for me. He knew I wouldn't put him in a home no matter how difficult it got," he explained.

Suddenly she stood. "Thank you for answers, Nathan," she said softly, still refusing to meet his eyes.

He stood with her, grabbing her hand before she tried to walk away. "I'm going to fight for you Haley," he told her. "I don't care if it takes years; I am going to fight for you. I am going to do my best to make things right with you. I'm done running away with my tail between my legs. It's time I face this like a man and answer to you like one as well. I will answer any question you have but know that the one question you're dying to ask will hurt you and the blame won't all be on me, though I do carry a big share of it. I just want to warn you," he said.

Haley looked down, unable to even see his face during the admission. "Nathan, I-"

"I know you're not ready for a lot, to hear how I feel, to be around me for long periods of time, and I'm not going to push for now. But I am here, Haley," he cut her off and hooked a finger under her chin so she had to look at him. "I am here and I am not going anywhere until I feel like there is absolutely no hope for us, none at all, even if that means staying here for years and seeing you marry another man. Only then will I truly give up, but honestly then I will probably still wait around and at the first sign of marital trouble I'll be there," he stated.

For some reason she laughed, her eyes watering, knowing he was being truthful. She could just imagine having a blow out with her "husband" only to find Nathan at the door with a teddy bear and his puppy dog eyes. That was a sight she didn't know if she could resist.

A tear slid down her cheek as she simply nodded in response to him, unable to form words, too shocked to form a real answer.

He lifted his free hand to wipe it away and stepped closer to her. "I'm here, Haley, so when you're ready for answers I'm ready to give them. But until then I'm going to try and win you back."

She let out a shaky breath and sniffled. "I-I have to go home. I, um, meeting a client tomorrow," she whispered.

"Do you want me to walk you?" he questioned.

She shook her head. "No. I- it's only a few blocks."

Nathan nodded, dropping his hold on her and stepped back to give her space. "Have a good night, Hales. Good luck with that client tomorrow."

Haley turned around and walked away, overwhelmed with everything he'd told her, everything she felt, and how confused she was. She was so mad at him for the last two weeks, pissed he was keeping things from her, for what he did, everything. Then just seeing him so upset and with a few nice words it was like it melted away.

The things Nathan Scott could still do to her.

But she couldn't help but think that the Nathan back there at the bench, that was the Nathan she knew and it was nice to speak to him again.

* * *

Haley could count the number of times Nathan was formally invited over to spend time with the James's on her hand. The number of times he snuck over, however, shall be left unknown to her parents.

She shook her head as if to rid the thoughts of Nathan. She did not need to get in that state of mind in her parent's house.

Was this her home? Were these her parents? It felt like a parallel universe.

So the sudden onslaught of compliments heading her way was very welcoming, but also unsettling. Did they have an ulterior motive? Were they going to lecture her about her job again?

"I can't keep it in anymore, I'm getting married!" Quinn suddenly announced before holding her left hand out like there was a spotlight on it.

And there it was. She felt her heart stop, her lungs no longer knew how to do their job, and she sat beside her mother without saying a word.

They were trying to make her feel good before dropping the bomb on her. Quinn was engaged. They knew, at least her parents knew. It was the whole reason for this dinner.

"Haley, aren't you happy for your sister?" Jimmy questioned, his eyes flicking from sister to sister.

Haley put on her best fake smile and stood to hug the girl. "So happy. Congratulations, Quinn," she whispered and tried to keep the memory at bay.

_"I am so proud of you, Hales," her boyfriend said once again as they ate the picnic lunch in the bed of his truck overlooking the town that was Tree Hill. He had picked her up after the last final of her undergraduate career and brought her home, per her request. She didn't graduate for another week and wanted to spend some time with her friends before heading back to pack up her apartment and do other last minute things._

_She smiled and finished chewing the bite of her sandwich before answering. "That means the most coming from you," she whispered. "You've helped me through so much, Nathan, I feel like you should get a degree in dealing with me all these years."_

_He grinned at her. "You make it sound like work. It wasn't. I'd do anything for you, Haley James."_

_"Well, obviously Nathan Scott," she replied and he grimaced at his middle name. "Hey, you broke out the last names, buddy, no complaining," she reminded him and he smiled softly. "But I'm serious Nathan, you practically lived at Stanford with me and put so many miles on this truck I have no idea how it is still in commission. You dealt with my school craziness, my family, my friends-"_

_"Haley, Haley, stop," he urged. "I love you; I never minded making the trip out to see you. I mean, you had your own place so it wasn't like there was any sort of hassle. I can deal with your family and your friends are my friends, okay? There is nothing about you I would change, so don't make it sound like being with you has been some type of chore when it absolutely wasn't. I love you."_

_"How the hell did I end up with you?" Haley questioned, smiling widely._

_She honestly didn't know what she would have done without the boy for the last six years. God, they'd been together for six years already? It seemed like yesterday she was tutoring him._

_He had done so much for her. Taken local basketball contracts near her college just to be with her. Picked up and left Tree Hill at a moment's notice if she called him with any kind of problem. He made her live her life, not just suffer through it to impress her parents or feel good enough to be considered a James. He made her feel alive._

_"I ask myself that same question every day," Nathan admitted. "I thank God every day you chose me."_

_"I don't like to think of it that way," Haley stated. "I like to think that fate chose us. That you needed a tutor right when I was available to be it." She had needed more extracurriculars at the time to build up her college application and tutoring had been approved of by her mother._

_"I'm going to make you into a romantic yet, Hales," Nathan sighed and kissed her soundly on the lips. "Now, I had more of a reason than to just celebrate the end of the first part of your college career with this picnic," he informed her._

_"To celebrate that I am going to law school at Duke so we can live together? Because once I have that degree in my hands I get my trust fund and am out from underneath my parent's thumb?" she questioned excitedly._

_"Partly," he answered with a nod, smiling at her enthusiasm. "But did you notice what kind of food I brought to this picnic?"_

_Haley looked down at the simple sandwiches and chips. "Um, no? Sorry," she laughed._

_"Remember when you told me how you ran away when you were little?" he asked. "You made a-"_

_"A chicken salad sandwich," she finished for him. "You made me a chicken salad sandwich because...?" she trailed off, a bit confused as to where this was going. "You want to run away together?"_

_Nathan shook his head. "No, not exactly," he answered and got on his knee in front of her in the bed of the truck. Haley's eyes widened. "Haley, I don't want to run away together. I did this as a kind of metaphor. I want to marry you, Haley James. I wanted this to be a metaphor for you leaving your family and joining mine. Well, just me, I suppose. I know you don't want to get married until you finish law school and I am fine with that, but I want you to know that this is what I want. You are what I want. I don't care if it takes me across the country or we end up in this town for the rest of our lives. I want nothing more than to marry you, Hales. And I know this probably isn't the way you envisioned someone proposing to you, but-"_

_"Oh, just do it already Scott!" she interrupted, tears coming down from the corner of her eyes._

_Nathan shook his head at her with a smile and removed a ring box from his pocket. "Will you marry me?"_

_Haley nodded and catapulted herself in his arms so hard he fell backwards on the blankets in the bed of the truck. "Yes, yes I will marry you!"_

_It didn't matter if he proposed to her in some extravagant way. That wasn't Nathan and that wasn't their relationship. But this... this was a perfect way and she couldn't be happier._

* * *

Dinner had been hard to get through. Quinn went on and on about the wedding she was already planning and spoke of trying on their mother's dress to see how it looked on her. Lydia was ecstatic and the two raced upstairs to test it out.

Jimmy had welcomed David into the family with a hug and some of his best scotch. The two had been engrossed in the heavy conversation since.

Quinn was engaged. Haley had been engaged twice already. David was being welcomed into the family by Jimmy.

Quinn was already planning and her mother was right on board. Her parents weren't on board with her engagement but eventually had accepted it.

It was why she hadn't even told her parents they'd decided to get married early. Originally she'd wanted to wait until after law school, but the summer before her last year she'd just asked Nathan in bed one night.

_"I wanna spend the rest of my life with you," Haley whispered with her eyes closed._

_Nathan's finger was doodling on the small of her back as they cuddled in bed. "You're going to," he replied just as softly. "I think the proposal was the promise of that."_

_"No, right now," she corrected him._

_"Hales, are you being serious?" he asked, his hand stopping, his voice rising to a normal tone._

_She slowly opened her eyes. "I want to marry you, Nathan. This summer. I can change my name at school next semester and graduate as Haley James Scott," she assured him._

_"Is this just about not being a James anymore?" he questioned._

_That was something they had spoken about. He assumed that since she was a post-modern feminist, as she was frequently insisting, that she would just want to keep her last night, not that he minded. She told him that it was probably true, but she wanted to be a Scott. He was a Scott and the best person she knew, so kind and caring and sweet and everything in between._

_He was a Scott and so she wanted to be one too. _

_"No. It's about not being able to wait anymore," she assured him. "I want to marry you, Nathan. I don't want to wait because my parents would prefer it that way or it's the responsible thing to do, I don't know. You make me spontaneous and do crazy and this is that to me. I want to do this."_

_Nathan looked over her face and then nodded slowly. "I only was waiting because that was what you wanted. If you want to get married this summer just give me a tux, a date, and a time," he stated._

_Haley smiled. "I want it to be intimate. I want it to be just us and friends," she told him._

_"As in our parents aren't invited or they don't know?" he asked hesitantly._

_"Both," Haley answered. "Neither of our families have been supportive of us or even treated us well. Do you really want to bind our lives together for eternity with Dan in the pews staring at you?" she asked and he looked at her pointedly. "Metaphorically, of course."_

_"No. You're my family, Lucas, the girls, they are my family although I'm not sure Lucas likes me all that much," he told her._

_"Lucas likes you and accepts you and approves of you. You just happened to deflower me, his little sister in a way," Haley cut in. "He's kind of protective."_

_Nathan smiled. "He's more than kind of protective, Haley, but I don't mind. You deserve nothing more than a best friend who wants the best for you," he insisted. "I just- I am happily marrying you tomorrow at City Hall or something. I just want to make sure this is something you truly want, not just something you're saying after mind-blowing sex," he admitted._

_"'Mind-blowing?' You really think you're that good?" she teased, squeezing his cheek a little bit._

_"Uh, do you want me to turn around so you can see the scratches on my back? Or how about we tape it so you can see how much you tend to scream. I mean-"_

_"Nathan, I was kidding!" she laughed, covering his mouth. "You're amazing in bed, the best ever and I'm not just saying that 'cause I have nothing to compare it to. I'm saying it because it's more than sex. It's making love and all that other girly crap," she told him._

_He smiled and kissed her on the lips softly. "Thank you. You're right. I am amazing in bed," he agreed and she punched him lightly. "Don't worry, you're right up there with me, you're the best too."_

_"Thank you. Back to the point. Yes, I am sure I want this. I want to marry you. I don't care if it's at City Hall or at a beach with one of our friends officiating because that would certainly be interesting," she laughed and he did too. "I just want to marry you and only do it in front of those who love us and love us together."_

_Nathan nodded. "Then let's do it."_

* * *

She figured it was time they talked and she couldn't think of a better, more private place than her parents' beach house. Her apartment or the loft would be too awkward, and she didn't want it to be entirely public either.

"Hi," Nathan greeted while shoving his hands into his pockets. It was hard to resist the urge to touch her. Keeping his hands confined seemed like the best solution.

Haley nodded curtly in return. "I just want to let you know that I only wanted to meet you here. We're not going to go inside or anything, that isn't what I asked you here for."

"Its fine, Hales, I figured that," he said with a nod. "I'm just glad you called," he admitted.

"It's been almost two weeks, I thought we should talk," she responded. "I know you called Brooke when you left after- I just wanted to say thank you."

Nathan shook his head. "Not necessary. I wish I could have done more. My plans for coming back haven't changed, Haley, I was just trying to give you time. I need you to know that," he told her.

"Nathan, I- I don't know where we stand," she started honestly, trying her best to stay calm and not get worked up. It took everything in her to not call this off. It had to be done and done now. "But I do know I am done with my family, all of them, I thought you should know that. I went to my dad the day after and confronted him. He didn't say sorry. He still thinks he is right. It wasn't me he was trying to protect, it was the James name, and that is what makes it so much worse."

"And your mom? Did she know?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"No," Haley answered. "But she called a few days later. Said my dad was just trying to do what he thought was best. She is standing by him and I don't know if I can forgive that either," she explained. "I wasn't seventeen when they did this; I wasn't some teenager in love and trying to run away with you. We were in our twenties, we had made a life together and-" she stopped. She couldn't get worked up. She had more to say.

Nathan stepped closer. "Hales-"

"Please don't," she whispered, wiping her face. "What we had was real; it wasn't just hormones and the fact they tried to reduce it to that really hurts."

He just nodded in response with his hands in fists in his pockets.

"My whole life my parents have forced me into things, clubs, extracurriculars, whatever it took to make me look good on paper," Haley began when she managed to control herself again. "They always thought they knew what was best for me when in most cases they never did because they didn't know me. And being with you is the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me look good in real life too if that makes sense. You made me have fun and cut class and be spontaneous and I will be forever grateful for that."

Nathan shook his head. "No, I am not letting you do this," he spoke up. His hand found its way into his hair on it's own volition as he angrily pulled at it. He couldn't let her do this, it wasn't an option.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say," she responded.

"I know it sounds like you're thanking me for just being a chapter in your life. That is not what I am, Haley, and I am not going to let you finish me off like that," he stated.

"At least I would be giving you a goodbye!" she exclaimed, her voice cracking.

"It wasn't like that, I thought-"

"I know what you thought and it wasn't right!" she cut him off. "You of all people should have known that my parents do not know who I really am. They couldn't tell you when I stopped believing in Santa Clause, what really happened when I broke my middle finger in second grade, or what the name was of the outdoor cat I adopted without them knowing when I was eleven-"

"Simon. You named the cat Simon," Nathan broke in. "Then Quinn found out and told your parents so they had him taken to the animal shelter," he explained. "You cried for a week."

Haley nodded with tears in her eyes.

He stepped closer. "And you broke your finger in second grade by punching Jack Morris in the nose, or at least trying to, for calling Peyton fat," he went on. "Something he won't admit to, probably even today, even if his nose does curve a little to the left." He was right in front of her now, his hands resting on her waist. "And you stopped believing in Santa Clause when you were nine because personally delivered a letter to the post office addressed to him asking for only one thing that year. You didn't let anyone read it because you were ashamed of what you wanted. And when you didn't get it you knew he wasn't real."

"Nathan, don't do th-" she was full-on crying now, but Nathan shook his head and cupped her face.

"The one thing you wanted was to be closer with your sister and for your parents to stop comparing you to her," he finished and brushed the tears rushing down her face. "But when you woke up and found that they had already given Quinn her surprise trip to Washington DC, one of the presents she was begging for, you knew he wasn't real. Especially when they said you should want more practical gifts like her, ones that would be beneficial to your future, even if you were only nine."

Haley sniffled, looking him in the eye and nodded.

"I know you, Haley, I love you, and I am not going to let you close the book on me," he murmured, brushing their noses together. "I tried that two years ago for what I thought was all the right reasons, but it wasn't."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed, grabbing onto his middle. "You weren't any better than them by thinking you knew what was best for me without asking me what I wanted."

"I underestimated you, I know that, and I never will do that again," he promised.

"You underestimated us, Nathan, and that hurts more," she replied with her voice low.

He nodded. "I know and I am sorry for that," he apologized. "And I am never going to do it again, that is why I will never give up now. Whether you can admit it or accept it we still love each other as much as we did then and I am trusting in us this time. I am trusting that even though what I did was horrible and broke you that we can somehow get past it because we make each other happier than anyone else can."

"Nathan," Haley whispered and finally broke from his hold. "I came here today to tell you that I don't know where we stand because not only did you act like my parents by making decisions about me without me, you also took money from my father to do it."

"Haley, it was never about the money," he insisted, his voice sounding pleading.

"But you still took it and you still left and it took you two years to come back," she reminded him. "I don't know how to go about handling that."

"I don't know either, but we can do it, right? We can get past it, we love each other-"

"We could have gotten past my dad's threats because we loved each other, but you didn't believe that, did you?" she countered, tears still running down her face. "So I came to give you this," she whispered, handing him the velvet box tucked into her jacket.

Natha took the ring box, not having to look inside to know what it was. His mother's engagement ring, Haley's engagement ring, she was giving it back to him. "Haley, I don't want this. I still want to make good on all those promises I made when I proposed," he croaked.

"And on that day I think I fell in love with you all over again," she admitted with a smile brightening her face. "When you made me a chicken salad sandwich and metaphorically asked me to run away with you, to leave my family and join yours," she continued while nodding. "That meant so much to me because I would finally have a family that loved me for who I was, for all that I was, and would never turn their back on me because above all that person was you. But you turned you back on me too, Nathan."

"Haley, no, I thought you would turn your back on me. I was wrong, I know that, but the one person I could never have walked away from me was you. It would have killed me. It still will and I am here now. I know it took two years but I am here and I am not going anywhere," he frantically promised once more.

She nodded and took one of his hands in both of hers, unable to watch him in pain without doing something to comfort him. Seeing him hurting was one of her greatest weaknesses. He was so kind that hurting him should have been a crime, even if it was her doing it.

"When I believe that I know it will change things for me. But right now I don't know what to believe," she whispered. "I don't know what to believe will happen in the future. I am still trying to come to terms with what happened in the past."

Nathan visibly swallowed and nodded before wiggling his hand out of her grip. "I get it."

"I need more time to figure things out," Haley repeated.

"But you still don't know if you want..." he couldn't say the words only for her to say no to him.

"I need time, Nathan," she said again.

"I'm still not giving up, even if you don't want," he stated definitely, yet still unable to say it out loud. "I told you I am going to fight for you and I am. But if you need time I will give it to you."

For some reason, she smiled. "I wouldn't expect any less from you, Nathan Scott."

"Good. That means you're expecting things out of me at all," he replied one of his famous grins on his face. "I'm not going to let you down again, Haley, I refuse to."

She shook her head and turned to get into her car. Only he could make her smile right then. There was just something about that boy and that motel.

* * *

"You're hardly eating any of your pasta, are you feeling okay?" Brooke questioned a few days later.

Haley nodded earnestly as she continued to move the noodles around on her plate. "Yeah, I'm fine," she assured her friend. "Thanks for inviting me over," she added with a smile.

"Well you've been really depressed lately, so I thought if anyone needs the best Italian food in town it was you," she replied sounding more chipper than ever.

"Thanks, B," Haley laughed before taking a bite of her lunch.

"Sorry, but you have been! I just thought your favourite food and some girl time-"

"Oh, thanks," Lucas spoke up from his place on the couch behind them where he was set up playing video games and eating.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Might make you feel better."

"I'm fine, Brooke, really," Haley insisted and forced another smile.

"Are you ready to talk about your meet up with Nathan the other day?" Brooke asked, twirling her Alfredo noodles on her fork.

"You met up with Nathan the other day?" Lucas broke in again, but this time his mouth was full.

Brooke turned. "Are you just going to listen to everything we say?"

"Uh, yeah," Lucas answered like it was a dumb question. "You met up with Nathan? What happened?" he asked Haley.

"Don't you two talk? You're supposed to be best friends," Brooke said before Haley could speak.

Lucas stood and went for the kitchen. "We are, but we're not girls. We don't share everything."

"Please, have you met Nathan? He's more of a girl than Haley is," Brooke replied.

"Hey!" Haley muttered with her bottom lip out.

Brooke laughed. "Sorry, but I recall Nathan crying during _The Notebook_ and not you," she reminded her.

"Hey, if it said something flew into his eye, then something flew into his eye," Lucas called out while his head was in the fridge.

Brooke huffed this time. "Hey, this is an A and B conversation, you can C your way out of it," she stated.

Lucas went back to the couch with his drink refilled without a word. Brooke seemed satisfied.

"I'm fine since seeing Nathan, by the way," Haley finally answered. Both Brooke and Lucas turned to look at her. "It was hard but good," she confirmed while nodding.

Lucas went back to his video games and Brooke turned to face her again.

"He's not pressuring you to make a decision, is he?" Brooke wondered.

Haley shook her head. "No. Never. He was sweet and kind and," she stopped. "Nathan. He was Nathan."

"That's good though, I mean, after everything," Brooke commented.

She smiled. "I feel like no matter how upset I am with him or how hard the conversation we're having we always end up... close, you know?" she began. "One minute I'm crying about how hurt I am, the next he's holding me and I'm crying because it feels so good and I miss it so much." She bit her lip. "It's all just so hard, but when he touches me," she stopped. "It's like I don't care, but then I remember."

"It's gotta be hard, I can't resist that idiot and look at him," Brooke agreed, nodding towards Lucas. He was slurping noodles and furiously hitting buttons on his controller.

Haley chuckled. "Yeah. Love kinda sucks," she stated sadly.

"You can do this, girl," Brooke assured her. "You're strong and determined and got a good head on your shoulders. You'll sort through all the shit and be happy with whatever you choose," she added on confidently.

"Thanks," Haley said with a smile. "In a twisted way I can kind of understand why he left, what is really killing me is that he took that money from my dad," she mentioned a moment later. "That wasn't for my well-being that was just him being bought off."

"Yeah, that sucks," her brunette friend agreed. "It's hard to believe that Nathan of all people would just take money like that. He liked living the simple life, you know," she commented.

"I guess Jimmy James just knows everyone's price," Haley sighed.

Lucas snorted as he walked by with his empty dish.

"What does that mean?" she demanded, turning on her friend. "That noise you just made, that wasn't coincidental, that was accidental."

Lucas turned around, surprised. "Huh?"

"We were talking about Nathan taking money from my dad and you definitely made a noise that insisted I didn't know the whole story. What does that mean?" she questioned authoritatively.

"Watch out, babe, her lawyer is showing," Brooke commented from behind her.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "I didn't do anything, I was thinking about my game," he insisted.

She narrowed her eyes. "No, you weren't. You know something about Nathan and the money he took from my dad, so tell me," she ordered.

He brushed past her on his way back to the couch. "Sorry, but it's not my business to tell."

"Well it's my business to know!" she exclaimed and went to stand in front of him.

Lucas sighed at her blocking of the TV. "Hale-"

"It was my dad's money, my ex-fiancée's choice, I deserve to know what happened when my future is hanging in the balance because of it all," she stated, her eyes honing in on his. "I need the facts, Lucas."

He let out a long breath. "He obviously doesn't want you to know if you don't already."

"This is Nathan we're talking about," Haley replied. "He could have a serious wound and not tell you if he thought it would freak you out, and then apologize for getting blood on your shirt," she insisted.

"Didn't that actually happen?" Brooke asked from the table.

They both ignored her.

"Look, Haley, Nathan did take the money from your dad," Lucas started. She nodded, urging him along. "He did use it to pay for school, but that's it. When his grandfather he died he got everything the old man had, which was a pretty nice number and the house, which he sold and got profit from," he went on.

"What are you saying, Luke?" she questioned.

Lucas looked up at her. "When he came back he gave the money back to your dad, all of it, the whole hundred grand."

Her eyes widened. "What? When?"

"That first day you walked in on him in here. He had just left your dad's office and came here to talk to Brooke. Not about that, of course, but," he stopped there.

She ran a hand through her hair. "So you're saying he took the money, went to school with it, and then gave it all back?"

Lucas nodded. "Yeah. He said it wasn't right keeping it, that he didn't even know why he really took it in the first place. And it's not like he is hurting right now, he's got a nice job, money from his grandpa, from the house selling," he listed off. "He didn't want anything from your parents; he didn't want anything hanging over his head or whatever."

"So my dad knew he was back in town before I did? He knew he gave the money back and- fuck," Haley couldn't help but laugh. Just another thing to kick her father out of her life for. "I have to go," she said a moment later, going to the door and grabbed her purse. "Do you know where Nathan is?" she asked before she walked out of the door.

Lucas looked at the clock. "Uh, the gym I think? they will know an exact address," he answered.

Haley nodded and walked out the door. She had to find Nathan. How could he not tell her he gave the money back?

It didn't change everything, but it changed a lot of things.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of this chapter! The Jeyton wedding will be the next chapter! I'm sorry for the delay in getting that chapter up. It's been finished for a while however, I fell into a deep depression and this whole coronavirus has altered my mood significantly. But I am working on being the best version of myself, and getting motivated to write again. I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting for a while, it's just been a tough few months hopefully you guys can understand!_

_With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, hopefully soon though! _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time! **~Sidney**_


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